Heart Healing from Loss

“Emergence” is the process of coming into being or of becoming important or prominent. And Emergence is happening for Wendy Sloneker and her coaching process — she’s announcing a shift in her work with clients! 

Emergence Coaching is the new direction, and while it incorporates all the tools from her previous practice, it also allows Wendy to take her expertise in emotions and provide support to people who are stuck and sick of being stuck. 

If you’re stuck in loss and in emotional pain of any kind, and the path you’re on is clearly a dead end or some kind of weird emotional cul-de-sac, Wendy can help you find your way again. 

The structure of emergence coaching involves shifting, reframing, and reclaiming. If this sounds like something that could help you or someone you know get unstuck, stay tuned for more details. 

If you’re ready to emerge from pain and loss and the cocoon you’ve been stuck in for far too long, join Wendy in her group coaching program goinginside.me for support. And keep your ears open for Wendy’s new podcast!

Robin Keesler is an Identity and Self Discovery Coach and she is here with Grief Coach & Specialist Wendy Sloneker to share her own journey of self discovery and finding (and finding again) her identity. Robin believes that we all have the capacity to make change in the world by focusing on heart-centered leadership; which is each of us finding those little bits of joy and passing it on to expand the love in our world.

Robin walks people through a process of self-discovery to work on personal identity. She aims to help you find the truth of who you are and how to come home to your true self. She teaches people radical self love, in ALL the moments. She can help you understand your attachment style, then she puts all of this together to show you how it has all been carried with you — to impact your life, your relationships, your business, and well, everything!

The work is never done, but that is a good thing! So if you want to start (or continue) the work to discover yourself and understand your identity, join Robin (and Wendy) for the Shadow Side Leadership Series & Summit! 

Get more information at shadowsideleadershipsummit.com where you can get info on all the coaches/presenters and register.

Or if you are looking for support while you navigate through feelings of grief or loss, Wendy can help! Visit www.wendysloneker.com to learn more. 

And if you are interested in Wendy’s group coaching program, Going Inside, find more information at goinginside.me.

Today Wendy Sloneker, Grief Specialist & Coach, welcomes a very special guest, Jesse René Gibbs, author of the book Girl Hidden. Jesse shares the traumatic story of her childhood, what it was like discovering the truth about what happened to her, and her journey of healing by finding support and writing her book. 

Jesse René Gibbs also speaks on her experience with therapy. She acknowledges that, for her, finding a good therapist meant finding someone that helped her connect her past experiences to her body and her feelings. And therapy didn’t make her “better”, but it has given her the tools she needs to walk through life. 

And a network of support has been important for Jesse René Gibbs too; healing is different for everybody, but for her having certain people by by her side (on on her side) has been life-changing. To learn more about Jesse René Gibbs and get a copy of her book, visit her website: girlhidden.com. 

Or if you are looking for a way to start getting your own network of support, working with Wendy could be a good start. Visit www.wendysloneker.com to learn more. 

And if you are interested in Wendy’s group coaching program, Going Inside, find more information at goinginside.me.

“Wait,” you say. “Surely healthy, successful weight loss is a cause for celebration, not grief?” 

Getting healthier is always a cause for celebration, but as No BS WeightLoss founder Corinne Crabtree tells us, “Grief is everywhere in weight loss.”

Friendships and relationships can change, even disappear, when one person in the relationship loses weight. Those who lose weight may suffer a totally unexpected change in identity, they may grieve the weight that protected them, they may mourn the loss of foods that provided comfort or some sort of emotional connection (grandma’s oatmeal-raisin cookies, anyone?)

Corinne knows that weight loss involves so much more than increasing exercise and changing eating habits — there’s an emotional journey to “choose who the next version of you is.” 

Will you keep choosing the same person over and over, even if you’re not feeling right in that body and mind? Or will you choose a version of you that feels closer to a goal? 

And what losses do those choices bring with them?

In this episode, Grief Coach and Specialist Wendy Sloneker talks with Corinne Crabtree about the emotional changes (and blockades) we go through (or don’t) when we’re working to choose that different version of ourselves.

After losing 100 pounds to be a healthier mom and end the obesity gene, Corinne Crabtree embarked on a mission to help others be healthier as well. She’s helped thousands shed unhealthy pounds and keep them off through her No BS WeightLoss Program. Find her FREE  COURSE here: www.nobsweightloss.com… that’s the best place to start. Then deffo subscribe &  listen to her podcast as well. 

If you’re ready to get help managing changing and challenging emotions around grief and loss, sign up for a free Connection Call with Wendy at www.wendysloneker.com.

Today Wendy Sloneker, Grief Coach & Specialist, explains Anticipatory Grief. These are the thoughts and fears about something specific that might be coming or changing, such as a medical diagnosis, a loved one or pet that starts to physically or mentally decline, or the noticing of incremental loss (tangible or intangible). 

There’s a little part of her brain Wendy calls “The Peanut.” She describes it as the part of her brain that protects her by helping her anticipate and prepare for the coming grief-causing event. The Peanut becomes heighted in moments of anticipating a future event – and even the anticipation before the grief can be unsettling. 

Anticipating future events can take us out of the moment, away from what’s actually happening now in our lives, robbing us of life’s moments. So, Wendy follows up with some tips and ideas of how to feel “normal” when your “Peanut” is causing some big feelings or some anxiety. 

If you would like to learn more about navigating grief and loss, or find support by working with Wendy, visit her website: www.wendysloneker.com. 

And if you are interested in Wendy’s group coaching program, Going Inside, find more information at goinginside.me.

Today Grief Coach & Specialist Wendy Sloneker talks about situations where you might be caught in the middle or at least have the perception of being so. And we all know the “middle” is usually between a rock and a hard place. 

“The middle” may be the middle of an uncomfortable situation, it could be between two people at odds, it might be the center of a family disagreement. And it’s exhausting. If you’ve ever dealt with chronic illness, this “middle” position might seem familiar  — you’re in constant pain, constant struggle, sitting right in the whip seat of an emotional rollercoaster. It takes over your life. 

And we make it worse on ourselves, burying ourselves under pressure to perform, to take care of others, or to make everyone happy. 

In these situations, it can be challenging to remember we are not responsible for other people’s feelings. We can only take care of our own. And that’s hard enough. 

To help with that, Wendy gives us tips on how to ground ourselves in what feels supportive and right for us, on how to identify our own feelings and ensure we’re taking care of ourselves.

If you would like to learn more about navigating grief, loss, or finding support through working with Wendy, visit her website: www.wendysloneker.com. 

And if you are interested in Wendy’s group coaching program, Going Inside, find more information at goinginside.me.

Book Mentioned: 

In My Shoes: A Memoir by Tamara Mellon & William Patrick

Today on Heart Healing from Loss, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker welcomes special guest Serena Hicks. 

Serena Hicks is a Money Mindset coach and mentor who focuses on connection with others and helping others grow their business by focusing on truth telling, freedom, and rejecting patriarchal programming. Instead, Serena encourages others to let go of your struggles and replace them with an allowing that requires you to connect with your Self, The Divine, and fellow humans (and creatures) on a whole new level.

Serena and Wendy discuss the importance of being willing to receive during periods of grief and loss. This can mean asking for support or just allowing others to help you. Allowing others to make even the smallest of gestures––a hug, a coffee, or a meal—can create connections you may not have thought were possible.

Serena also shares what it was like to let go of what others thought, or what she perceived they thought, and stop feeling the shame that came with needing support while she grieved. Serena prioritized self-care by learning to ask for help, even when it was terrifying or felt like it might inconvenience others. 

Learn more about Serena’s Money Mindset Community and Mastermind at her website, www.serenahicks.com. And find and follow her on Instagram: @xoxoserenahicks, Facebook: facebook.com/SerenaHicksAF, and LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/serenahicks.

And if you are ready to connect with someone to support you in your own journey with grief and loss, reach out to Wendy for a complimentary call at www.wendysloneker.com.

In this episode of Heart Healing From Loss, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker talks about being ready to do new things during a season of grief and loss. 

Opening yourself up to new things can be a way to navigate difficult feelings and make progress on your journey. However, taking on new things during a season of loss can feel scary and risky. 

The trick? Don’t do too much at once. Wendy shares how you can start doing new things in small, manageable ways. This may help pave the way for adding back some variety to life, breaking up the monotony and breathing new life into the healing you are doing. 

But, Wendy reminds us, being ready is an important piece of this, so keep your own timeline in mind and only do what feels right for you.

If you are ready to connect with someone to support you in your journey with grief and loss, reach out to Wendy for a complimentary call at https://www.wendysloneker.com/.

Today Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker discusses the feelings of grief and loss that come with getting laid off from a job. This is happening to a lot of people in the tech field right now, and it is one of those events in life that brings up a whole lot of feelings, including grief and loss. 

Wendy shares that taking time to really feel your feelings and process emotions is important. Emotional processing may save you from additional suffering and might provide an avenue for better decision-making as you move forward. 

Asking for support is an important part of processing feelings of grief and loss too. So rally your troops and tell them what you need. Once you’ve done that, get more support by reaching out to Wendy! 

She can help you make a plan to secure the support you need. Set up a confidential, complimentary call with Wendy at https://www.wendysloneker.com/.

Taking that first step to seek support is a big one! Deciding to take on navigating through grief and loss is challenging enough; finding the right kind of support can be a whole new level of hard. 

If you break your arm, you don’t wear someone else’s cast. If you’re ill, you don’t take someone else’s medicine. So why would you settle for the wrong kind of emotional support?

In this episode, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker talks about making the needed assessments for starting the journey. What kinds of support are out there? What have you already tried? How do you find the right type of support and then figure out how to keep it working for you as you go along?

A one-size-fits-all approach is most often a one-size-fits-none-comfortably, so it’s important to know what you already have in place. Navigating what is needed from there is part of how Wendy helps her clients explore their options.

If you think you might be ready to take that first step in seeking support for navigating grief and loss, set up a confidential, complimentary call with Wendy at https://www.wendysloneker.com/.

"If we try to go with the Nike slogan of 'just do it,' and just, you know, keep pushing through and thinking we're being warriors, we are damaging our mental health, damaging our physical health."

Sound familiar? Do you just keep "doing it," pushing forward, moving ahead no matter what it's doing to you?

We know that learning a skill takes practice, and we're willing to recognize the need to learn in some places in our lives, and in other people. But when it comes to some Pretty Big Stuff in our lives and work, suddenly perfection is the only option and the first draft better also be the final or we've "failed."

In this episode, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker talks with Business Process and Mindset Coach Gretchen Hernandez about how to navigate resentment, grief — and life — in a healthy way.

Learn more about Gretchen Hernandez at her website, https://www.myfreedomgrove.com/.

And if you're ready for help navigating strong emotions around loss, grief, and change, be sure to set up a confidential, complimentary call with Wendy at https://www.wendysloneker.com/.

Wendy is a little under the weather, so she’s helping us remember how important it is to take care of ourselves. Some days are your “low” days and it is OKAY to have these days. Take care of yourself and give yourself some comfort on a low day. Don’t pressure yourself to be “on” or make big decisions. Take the cue from your brain and body to take the rest you need and give yourself a break. The tough moments are temporary, so try to find a way to be kind to yourself in a hard moment.

If you're ready for some tools to navigate your own rough days related to grief and loss, contact Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker for a complimentary consultation. You'll find her at her website, wendysloneker.com.

Wendy’s guest is Forest Dimaggio and the two of them go WAY back — all the way to kindergarten! Forest shares her journey of five years, 21 doctors, innumerable misdiagnoses and zero relief before she was finally diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2010. 

While the news was far from ideal, the moment of diagnosis was actually a huge relief — Forest finally had an answer that made sense.

And while there was genuine relief in having the answer, there was also grief and feelings of loss with her diagnosis. Forest dealt with extreme feelings of loneliness and a bunch of life changes that happened quite quickly, one atop another. There was treatment, the physical and neurological side effects of that treatment, changes in her living situation and in her relationships.

Ultimately, she embraced this new identity, even changing her name to suit. 

In this conversation with Wendy, Forest shares words of wisdom for others who might be struggling with a life-changing diagnosis. If you or someone you love could benefit, please find Forest’s podcast, Life, with a Splash of Lyme, and share it far and wide.

If you're ready for some tools to navigate your own feelings of grief and loss, contact Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker for a complimentary consultation. You'll find her at her website, wendysloneker.com.

What is the difference between feeling a feeling and BEING a feeling? If you’re experiencing a lack of progress through your journey with grief and loss, it could be because of being your feeling instead of feeling your feelings.

In episode 57, Grief Coach Wendy talks about walking through the feelings instead of telling yourself you ARE the feeling. Once you understand how it actually works to FEEL your feelings, you can start to break habits with BEING a feeling. It all starts with self-awareness, beginning to notice when you are thinking “I am ____ (insert feeling word)” and then interrupting that thought with the new habit of identifying it as a feeling instead of a statement of what you are.

And Wendy is inviting you to the first ever FREEBIE Week for her Going Inside Program! If you’ve been thinking about starting a writing ritual or amping up a current writing ritual, this is a great boost that you won’t want to miss.

Join Wendy for an open house for Going Inside, happening February 6-12. Listen up for more information, then sign up! Sign Up for FREEBIE Week

Did you know that when your dog shakes, they are regaining control of their emotions? Unless it's a rainy day, in which case, it's probably just shaking off the wet.

Speaking of shaking off emotions, humans can do it too, though maybe not quite as literally. 

In this episode, Wendy shares a personal story when she had to shake off the shame of investing in herself. What felt like "too much" — too much time, too much money, just ... too much — wasn't. It was what she needed at just the right time. Fortunately, she was able to shake off the shame and get it done.

In times of grief and loss (and in the rest of life, honestly), we can lose the line between self-care and self-indulgence. Wendy's here to help us recognize when we might be missing a genuine opportunity for growth.

If you are feeling shame around taking care of yourself, do some real self-care and sign up for a complimentary one-on-one with Wendy. You can find more information at wendysloneker. com.

Nope. You do not have to be strong when going through grief and loss. Sometimes, doing the best you can today is all you have the capacity for. And that’s enough.

Grief and navigating loss have nothing to do with strength. Sometimes “being strong” can actually prolong your pain because the defenses go up. The ability to feel your feelings also has nothing to do with strength.

So, instead of thinking of it as being strong for yourself or others, reframe it instead, to “finding your power again.” Seeking help and support and doing the work is where your power can come from. 

TL:DR? Don’t resist it — don’t try to be strong. Let yourself feel your feelings. Find support to find your power.

This is the first step — and congratulations, because you are here doing the work already! The journey to finding your power has already begun.

If you're ready for next steps, to build toward what you're really wanting in life, listen to the episode, then contact host Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker for a complimentary consultation. You'll find her at her website, wendysloneker.com.

Capacity: When we're in times of change and loss, whatever forms those take in your life, our emotions may feel like they're just too much.

You have more capacity than you think. Yes, it's uncomfortable. But learning to jettison what doesn't help you, make space for the things that do (though they may be painful), and learn from the pain you feel — this is healthy and (sorry) possibly pretty uncomfortable.

Stuck can feel, oddly, "safe." It is familiar. We know how to handle this space we've been stuck in. And there's nothing wrong with hanging out here for a while.

But there are tools and skills that can help you radically change the results you're getting.

If you're ready for next steps, to build toward what you're really wanting in life, listen to the episode, then contact host Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker for a complimentary consultation. You'll find her at her website, wendysloneker.com.

Fertility challenges can come with a whole range of griefs — not just the loss of a pregnancy or the hopes of genetically related children, though those losses can be devastating. 

There can also be grief around losing trust in one's body, around decisions made in the past that may or may not have impacts now, around identity and sense of self, or even around just not having things happen the way they seem to happen "for everyone else."

In this episode with hosts of the incredible fertility podcast The Whole Pineapple, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker and guests Ruby Booras and Anne Judge talk about not just the grief — they also talk about the many many reasons for hope.

We hope you'll share this very special episode with anyone in your life who may be struggling to build their family. 

You can find Ruby and Anne and their catalog of episodes all around fertility and wellness at https://thewholepineapple.com/. And if you're looking for support for grief of any kind, make an appointment now for a complimentary consult with Wendy at https://www.wendysloneker.com/.

About our guests:

Ruby Booras, DNP, ARNP, FNP-BC, DipACLM/DipIBLM (She/her, They/them), is a Doctor of Nursing Practice, Board Certified Family Nurse Practitioner and a self-proclaimed nutrition nerd. She specializes in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility and has been in clinical practice at Seattle Reproductive Medicine since 2012. Over the course of her career, Ruby has experienced personal and professional growth, unexpected challenges, mental health struggles, pregnancy loss, and the various ups and downs of her own journey toward wellness. Ruby has a certificate in Plant-Based Nutrition from the T. Colin Campbell School of Nutrition Studies at Cornell University and is an American College of Lifestyle Medicine Diplomat, holding Certification as a Lifestyle Medicine Professional. She has been integral to the launch of the Wellness Program at SRM. As creator and co-host of The Whole Pineapple podcast, Ruby’s goal is to provide a reliable, supportive and science-based resource to guide people to their fertility and wellness goals and to power their WHOLE lives.

Anne Judge, DNP, ARNP, WHNP-BC (She/her), is a Doctor of Nursing Practice, board-certified Women’s Health Practitioner, who has been working in the fertility field since 2007. She first graduated from Stanford University with a degree in Human Biology. She completed nursing school at the University of Washington and was working as a labor and delivery nurse when her own experiences with infertility led her to change paths into reproductive medicine. After almost 15 years working in the fertility field, she is excited to share her knowledge and compassion with our listeners. While finishing her graduate training she struggled with whether to complete her original dream and Nurse Midwife program, but ultimately felt called to stay in the fertility field as a Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner. While she is still always happy to talk about all things birth, she finds the process of creating families most valuable. She is reminded of the wise words from one of her midwife instructors, “Let someone else catch the babies, you will catch the mothers.”

A fresh new year can feel like an opportunity for a fresh start, with all the excitement (and anxiety) that comes with it.

That fresh start may require Big Changes. Letting go of toxic emotions, choosing some different paths, shifting a mindset that isn't helping you move forward — all these can help, but they are so much easier said than done for most of us.

New tools can help you do that inner work, says Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker. 

If you've been waiting to do that work, not sure how to take those first steps, "comfortable" in the familiarity of where you've been stuck, nervous about what that change may bring, well, that's normal and natural. But if you're ready to move on, there's help.

Learn more about the tools Wendy can equip you with, including the power of writing and sharing. Find more information in this episode and at https://www.wendysloneker.com/.

Loss means change. And in times of change, there's a feeling of, "It's not what it was" or "It's not what it used to be."

We long for the way it used to be. But what is it — specifically — that we're missing or wishing were back to the way it was before? Being specific about the loss or the change can help us manage our way through the grief. 

On the other hand, there's the phrase "It is what it is." Can we just say...ugh. "It is what it is" cuts the conversation short and can seem dismissive of our pain and sadness. 

Again, understanding our response to "it is what it is" can help us manage the emotions around whatever "it" is now.

What phrases or cliches create emotions in you? And do you sometimes feel like you could use help to handle those emotions? If so, be sure to contact Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker for a complimentary consultation. You can find her at her website, https://www.wendysloneker.com/.