Heart Healing from Loss

It's the 50th Episode!! 

It takes a team to put a podcast together, and we're celebrating our happy Heart Healing team briefly today, before we get on to pomegranates and what they have to do with grief and loss.

So, hoorah to all you listeners, and our gratitude for listening and getting us to 50 freaking episodes!!

So, on with those pomegranates. 'Tis the season for fresh poms, but if you've ever eaten a fresh one, you know how tricky retrieving those tasty seeds can be. (For help, see video below!)

So what's the tie with grief? Come listen to Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker and find out. It'll be worth your while.

And if you find yourself with a hankering for either pomegranates or tools to help yourself or a loved one through grief and loss, well, we can't really help with the fruit, but you can make an appointment for a complimentary consult with Wendy on her website https://www.wendysloneker.com/ for those invaluable tools.

Then join us for the dance party. :)

Mentioned in this episode: 

• Wendy's Facebook page (DANCE PARTY): https://www.facebook.com/hearthealingloss
• How to Deseed a Pomegranate in 1 Minute: https://youtu.be/6YInVpUiv5c
• Audiotocracy Podcast Production: https://audiotocracy.com
• Eric Verlinde: https://www.ericverlinde.com/
• Sarah Truden: https://sarahtruden.com/ 

The caterpillar-to-butterfly image for transformation is time-honored, but does require the critter in the chrysalis to turn into goo.

Maybe the seed is a better metaphor for you? Yes, transformation requires the seed to split open, which seems painful, but when it opens, the seed is no longer a seed, says Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker. Yes, it's raw and vulnerable and new. But it's also ready to grow and flourish.

When you're in the seed, you might feel stuck in there alone. You don't have to go through this alone. Even if you're feeling trapped in grief and loss, growth and change and even blossoming are possible. 

Does this feel right to you? Get even more insights into the condition known as grief and find paths to navigate through it: Schedule a free consultation with Wendy at WendySloneker.com. 

Thanks again to Eric Verlinde for our new music! You can find him at his website https://www.ericverlinde.com/. 

Holidays are tough. For those of here up north, the days are shorter and darker and the weather is colder. For all of us, there can be so many emotionally loaded memories to contend with.

Too much expectation colliding with too much reality.

Could tiny breaks scattered through these days help? Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker says Yes. Absolutely. Not just breaks from boozy parties or fractious family discussions, but breaks where you give yourself time off from grief.

If the holiday break feels more like it's breaking you rather than giving you a break, take a moment to listen to some very helpful thoughts and ideas and find relief.

And please, as always, if you know others who can benefit from this podcast, we ask you to rate, review, and share so others can find some Heart Healing too. 

Thanks to Eric Verlinde for our new theme music! You can find him at ericverlinde.com. 

"What if the thing that's making you mad is the kernel of truth?"

What if grief and loss have left you with a feeling that there's no life left?

In this episode, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker talks about how to start to move past familiar pain and grief and back into life. You can feel your heart beating. Put out a bird feeder, if you can. There are signs of life all around you.

It's possible this episode will make you angry; that's OK. It may not be time for you yet. But if you think you're ready to come back to aliveness, look for the indicators that remind you that life continues.

Winters can be heavy — everything appears to be dying or already gone. But spring follows winter every year. 

If you need help carrying the emotional weight of your loss, contact Wendy at https://www.wendysloneker.com/ for a complimentary consultation.

"I'm tired of pretending I don't have the feelings I have."

Does that feel familiar? Even though you may be grieving, sometimes others make the moment about them, or you may want to hide your feelings to protect others.

This can really isolate us, making us feel unseen, unheard, and alone with our pain. 

It's important to feel valued and respected in our relationships, says Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker. But how do you make that happen, especially when the culprits are some of the closest, most important people in our lives?

Learn about how to make space for your feelings, even when others push back or try to cover over how you feel. Then get even more help to manage the emotions that are holding you back: Set up a complimentary consultation with Wendy on her website at https://www.wendysloneker.com/.

In this episode, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker remembers people she has known and lost and how their lives and passing have impacted others, including Wendy and her work.

Even in remembering those who have passed, we can remember that we aren't alone. Those we remember remain with us.

One friend referred to herself as "Polyanna of the Apocalypse" — another said that too many of us live our lives "asleep." The wisdom and humor of people really should never be lost. And it won't, as long as those who remain, remember.

Loss and pain are hard. But they can also act as lessons, if we're open to the gifts they give us.

If grief has caused you to close yourself off, please reach out to Wendy. A complimentary call could help set you on the path to healing. You'll find Wendy at wendysloneker.com. 

You may notice that this episode sounds a little different: it was recorded in a car in front of a grocery store.

The strangest places can cause all kinds of feelings, including the grocery store, if that's where you spent time with a special person. We all have those ceremonies, which we may not even recognize as special until they change. 

And once that change happens, going back to that place can be a real gut punch, as you realize the depth of your loss in a very raw and immediate way.

In this episode, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker talks about these places and ceremonies and how they can trigger a special kind of grief. How do you take steps toward "normalizing" those places again, if that's what you want?

If you are considering taking steps, perhaps take this episode with you and listen, if you can listen safely. Then share with a friend who could also use the help.

If grief and loss are holding you back, make an appointment for a complimentary consultation with Wendy Sloneker at her website, wendysloneker.com.

A breast cancer diagnosis is a shock to most who hear it. And often our response is simply to allow the medical community to sweep us along into the usual process of treatment.

But generally, says expert Carol Lourie, breast cancer is not a surgical emergency. You have some time to listen, to learn, and to consider your options.

In this conversation, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker talks with Naturopath, Acupuncturist, and Homeopath Carol Lourie about how one of those options may be learning more about the roots of the disease. Understanding emotional components of disease can help support your physical and spiritual health through treatment and beyond.

If you or someone you care for is undergoing treatment for breast cancer or has been through treatment and is looking for ways to prevent recurrence, please listen and share this very important podcast.

Then be sure to check out Carol's Empowered Against Recurrence course: https://carollourie.com/wendy-sloneker.*

You can learn more about Carol Lourie at her website, https://carollourie.com/.

And of course, if illness or other changes have resulted in unmanageable grief or sadness, please make a complimentary appointment with Wendy right away. You can find contact information on her website, https://www.wendysloneker.com/. 

*Disclosure: This is an affiliate link, meaning Wendy Sloneker will receive a small commission if you purchase the product via this link. Wendy only endorses products she has personally used or which have come highly recommended by trusted peers. There is no additional cost to you.

Does a phrase, a song, a scent, even a number trigger a sweet or silly memory for you? 

Those moments of nostalgia can be an opportunity to take a moment out of grief or sadness and remember some sweetness. 

And when the weird wibbly wobblyness of grief-time can make a single day stretch forever, a moment of respite should be welcomed with open arms and an open heart.

"Dip a toe into a different feeling," says Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker, even if it's just for a moment. Allow a slice of sun to permeate.

If you're struggling with unmanaged grief or other emotions, please have a listen and then contact Wendy at https://www.wendysloneker.com/ to schedule a complimentary consultation. Then please share this podcast with someone else who could use it.

Holidays are challenging, even in the best of times — there's just a lot of stress and very high expectations this time of year.

And if this is your first holiday season with some new grief, well, the holidays can be anything but a time of "comfort and joy."

What if you had tools to get through the holidays intact, even with the pain the last year has brought? In this episode, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker wants to help you walk through this holiday season prepared, ready to navigate the challenges, and able to talk about it and release it on the other side.

Learn more about Wendy and how she can help you handle the holidays; schedule a complimentary connection call on her website, https://www.wendysloneker.com/.

Admitting you're struggling with feelings of grief and loss and sorrow is huge. When you're going through it, seemingly small things like just getting out of bed — or listening to a podcast that takes on loss — these are actually marks of courage.

First, an announcement:

Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker is opening up a group — 13 people will spend 13 weeks preparing for the often-elevated gut punch of the holidays.

If the start of Pumpkin Spice Latte season evokes dread in you, the group starts October 26 and runs through January 18. 

If this sounds of interest to you, be sure to reach out to Wendy for an introductory call. You can contact her through her website, wendysloneker.com. 

Second, today's episode is about grief around changes in your body. Chronic pain, menopause, auto-immune issues, illness, injury, aging — all of these can bring grief as you navigate new physical realities and maybe even a new identity.

How do you handle the changes in your body? Have a listen, share if you know someone who might be going through these feelings, and be sure to reach out to Wendy if you could use additional support: wendysloneker.com, wendy.sloneker@gmail.com.

When you experience a loss, you get asked — by very well-intended friends, family, and others — how you're "doing."

It can get exhausting trying to think of an answer. "I'm fine," is far from accurate and not fooling anyone. Or it might be true but makes us feel guilty for being true, even if that "fine" is extremely transitory. No one wants to hear that you're "terrible" or "sad" or "lousy," or maybe they're just fine hearing it, but you feel worse saying it.

You didn't even brush your teeth today; how do you answer the question, "How are you?" without dragging them down with you?

These are the knots grief and loss can tie us up in. Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker is ready to help you get unknotted. You can make a shift in how you think about every piece of progress you make, even if the progress is as small as brushing your teeth today.

Give yourself the time to listen and steep in the self-care, then visit Wendy at wendysloneker.com for a complimentary consultation.

When you're a caretaker, it can be difficult to remember to also take care of yourself. 

But not acknowledging your own boundaries, needs, and triggers can be dangerous; ignoring them for too long can cause the dreaded BURNOUT.

Once you reach the point of burnout, or "compassion fatigue," it can be hard to find or fight your way back. And too many people in the healing professions are lost because they neglect their own need to heal and be whole.

In this conversation, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker talks with Coach and Burnout Expert Carl Arrogante on the warning signs and potential dangers of ignoring impending burnout.

Listen, then find Carl at his website, https://www.coachingwithcarl.net/. And if you're looking for help to heal from grief, be sure to set up a complimentary consultation with Wendy at wendysloneker.com. 

Grief and loss and change can come with a whole tangle of emotions — sometimes so tangled, it's difficult to sort them all out and identify each one.

That's OK. You don't have to.

Taking the pressure off when you don't really know how you feel is an important way of giving yourself a break. If someone asks you, or even if it's just you asking yourself, "How are you feeling?" it's OK not to have or give an answer.

Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker takes us through why feeling the emotions can be hard enough and articulating them might feel impossible — and why you don't owe anyone an explanation.

If you're having a hard time putting words to the feelings in your gut and heart, have a listen. Then consider setting up a complimentary consultation with Wendy to explore those feelings and learn how to manage them. You can find her at her website, wendysloneker.com. 

You can do everything right — exercise, eat right, do the things that give you joy — and still life can pull the rug out from under you.

Holly Bertone of Pink Fortitude (https://academy.pinkfortitude.com/heart-healing-loss-podcast-welcome) knows this all too well: a breast cancer diagnosis at age 38 turned her “happy, healthy” life upside down.

There were good things too. Even great things, with a marriage proposal and new stepson. But all of this meant a total shift in identity from happy, active single gal to happy but struggling wife and mom. 

And life wasn’t through with her yet.

In this moving episode, Grief Coach Wendy talks with Holly about the many challenges life can come at you with — as well as the many gifts, if you’re open enough to recognize them. And grateful enough to receive them.

Find more about Holly at her website, https://pinkfortitude.com/. And if you’re ready to work through your challenges around grief and change, sign up for a complimentary consultation with Wendy Sloneker at https://www.wendysloneker.com/.

Resources mentioned:

https://academy.pinkfortitude.com/heart-healing-loss-podcast-welcome

"Be busy, get busy, stay busy." It's the mantra of life in the US and much of the world, and it's a good short-term fix for grief and loss.

Emphasis on the "short-term." 

Many of us find our feelings of grief are much more acute in the evenings and at night, when the busyness of the day winds down. Suddenly we notice the loss of routines more; we feel the silence more, and the normal time of rest becomes anything but restful.

If you find evenings and nights especially lonely and challenging, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker has some ideas that can make the eves easier.

Listen to the episode, then consider making an appointment for a complimentary connection call with Wendy: https://www.wendysloneker.com/. 

Content warning: Discussion of death by suicide.

How do you show up for a friend who has lost someone to suicide? What do you say? What do you not? Should you bring something? Do something? What should you expect?

Navigating someone else's grief can be a mine field. You don't want to cause further pain, but not doing anything doesn't feel right either.

And what should you expect? Anything, everything, and nothing. If you've been listening to Wendy's podcast, you know that everyone's experience of grief and process through grief and reaction to grief is unique to them.

Listen in on how Grief Coach Wendy is helping a friend through grief while dealing with her own sadness. It's life: up close and personal.

For more help, visit hearthealingfromloss.com.

The grief around ending a relationship may not be about losing the person, it can also include disappointment from the loss of dreams, hopes, and expectations. 

There’s nothing wrong with feeling sad about that loss as well, but not understanding the roots of feelings of grief can make it harder to move on.

In this episode, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker talks about the elements of grief that can come from relationships that are strained or over, and how taking a deep dive into the mechanics of that relationship can help the healing.

See what resonates with you, then find some help and healing of your own in a complimentary session with Wendy. You can schedule time with her at HeartHealingFromLoss.com.

Just as there are many different kinds of loss, there are many different definitions of "family." And though your family may not look like anyone else's, the losses you experience are valid.

In this episode, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker talks about what constitutes loss while creating a family, however you define that family.

Humans experience the full range of human feelings, and it's important to "count yourself in," when you've had an important life event. 

Learn more, then visit Wendy at HeartHealingFromLoss.com to schedule your complimentary consultation. 

When someone you know is going through painful emotions, our urge is to do something to take the pain away.

Our intentions are good, but the execution can cause more pain than comfort. 

In this episode, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker helps us find some better alternatives based around listening from the heart, rather than reacting from the brain.

Have a listen, then start on the path of healing YOUR painful emotions by scheduling a complimentary consult with Wendy at Heart Healing From Loss.