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    Heat Death of the Universe

    Heat Death of the Universe is an End-Times-inspired podcast about a wide range of subjects falling under the enormous Janus-faced purview of cultural and political commentary.

    en-us227 Episodes

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    Episodes (227)

    201 - Vote Blew No Matter Fuck You feat. Alex "WORLDWIDE" Kellar

    201 - Vote Blew No Matter Fuck You feat. Alex "WORLDWIDE" Kellar

    We're joined by Alex "WORLDWIDE" Kellar (@TheTowerSkin) of the Bored2Life podcast (@Bored2LifePod) to sift through the news rough in search of humor-diamonds and various truth-gems. Asking the difficult questions like, Where have all the good porn parodies gone? And why's cash being left on the table with the absence of an I ♡ Huckabees meets the Trumps incestual cuckholdry extravaganza?

    • Biden and his sad dwindling fanclub also said and did a bunch of hilarious and heinous shit yet again. 
    • A pop star's charitable donation dwarfed the US governments token gesture of aide to the genocide cage called Gaza by more than a 100x (and didn't manage to drop said crate of expired food rations on five people, striking them dead).
    • Matt Miler, the cartoonisly evil lacky for the Vereinigten Staate Ministerium für Volksaufklärung und Propaganda, continues to brazely smirk and appear to be stifling wild Jokerfied laughter while lying and talking about unspeakable atrocities.
    • Various politicians and other reprehensible demons in humanoidlike disguise continue to be protested in public, often revealing a glimpse beneath the humanoid or "progressive" veneer, including the "good ones" of The Squad variety.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usMarch 11, 2024

    200 - A Bicentennial Saturnalia to Remember! feat. Jason Newland

    200 - A Bicentennial Saturnalia to Remember! feat. Jason Newland

    We ring in 200 episodes by answering randomized questions to get to know us better. Before that, we cover a few topical news bits and shoot the shit with VIP guest Jason Newland. 

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usMarch 04, 2024

    199 - That Rascally Vaush Will Keep You Gessen, Haddish?

    199 - That Rascally Vaush Will Keep You Gessen, Haddish?
    • What's often lurking beneath the surface of libertarianism via Penn Jillette.  
    • Will a socialistic revolution create a lowered age of consent? & the demarcation between toon and non-toon pornography & celebrity endorsement deals with the Israeli government via Vaush and Tiffany Haddish.
    • Highly digressive "Red Scare Scrounge Up".
    • Navalny's false martyrdom and his very real white supremacy.
    • Matt Walsh (the bad one) acts-a-fool again.
    • More ups and downs between Snoop Dogg and Trump.
    • Trump's new footwear product manifests his core essence.
    • Have things cooled down in Gaza yet? You may not like the answer.
    • Michael Rapaport being hit in the head with a snowball mid-screeching monologue is the cureall you didn't even know you needed.
    • Hillary Clinton just wants to drone Assange. Is that so much to ask? It's HER time! I am proudly wearing my "I Drone Innocent Journalists With Her!" button on my pussy hat. Slay.
    • Despite sending a certain contingent of NPR totebag clutching types into hysterics because he pointed out that both Trump AND Joe Biden are old, Jon Stewart sounds indistinguishable from the neocons (and the conserva-libs in the ever-rightward shifting overton window) he gleefully, profitably,  skewered in the old days.
    • Ben Garrison's still at it, making political cartoons based again.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usFebruary 25, 2024

    198 - I'm Singin' in the Galactic Nympho-Insomniac Rain...Now feat. Adrian DeLaTorre

    198 - I'm Singin' in the Galactic Nympho-Insomniac Rain...Now feat. Adrian DeLaTorre

    After we address some news items of the day, we assemble at the General Council of Anthropomorphized Astrological Signs, along with good-bad cinema coorespondent Adrian DeLaTorre (Never Seen It / @b00tz2big), and discuss the brand new Jennifer Lopez vanity project / perfume ad / EPK for her new album / movie (?) This is Me...Now. Described to us in advance as being about JLo as a "Sex-Addicted Insomniac In Space" but it's so much more (and less) than that. Did Jane Fonda, Fat Joe, Neil DeGrass Tyson, and Post Malone all work for scale? Just who exactly is Ben Affleck's bit role as a news anchor character supposed to be lampooning? Did Jennifer Lopez rip off Neal Breen or is it the other way around...now? Does the director's credit as the director of a promotional video for the utopian Saudi project NEOM have any connection to anything here? Do hummingbirds dance in the rain? And do you know the tale of Alida and Taroo? No? Well, let JLo narcissistically unfurl this legend before you. 

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usFebruary 19, 2024

    197 - Hello Darkness My Old Friend feat. Jason Newland

    197 - Hello Darkness My Old Friend feat. Jason Newland

    Just as we did in the infancy of this podcast in the fall of 2020 (008 - I'm Thinking of Ending Things) we cover the latest Charlie Kaufman (screenwriting) project: an animated children's movie about how we're all hurtling towards death (sorta), Orion and the Dark.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usFebruary 14, 2024

    196 - A Supposedly Sympathetic, Well-Meaning, Elderly Man with a Poor Memory I'll Never Not Laugh at Again

    196 - A Supposedly Sympathetic, Well-Meaning, Elderly Man with a Poor Memory I'll Never Not Laugh at Again
    • We're talkin' Biden keeping totally cool and calm and 1000% lucid during a press conference in which his cognitive faculties are mildly questioned. When they go low, he goes high. Real high. On secret amphetamines brewed in John Podesta's cauldron in the depths of the Pentagon. 
    • Tim updates us in his Red Scare Scrounge Up (patent pending) segment. 
    • Who wore the border wall and kid cages better, Biden or Trump?
    • Will HRC run again? Kamala as running mate? We speculate not wildly or irreverently at all. HBO Go™ to the Polls! (Pokemon tired, HBO Go™ wired.) 
    • We're talkin' the 9 month long cruise and cruises more generally.
    • New "Guy" discovered for the show, most likely: Dusty Deevers, Christian Dominionist extraordinaire, gonna outlaw pornography, abortion pills, Trans Storytime events, but not the sacred union of sexting between a married CIS het man and CIS het woman.  And more!

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usFebruary 10, 2024

    195 - When Mating Strategies Fail

    195 - When Mating Strategies Fail

    A seriously digressive episode. Forty minute 'cold open' which hit the cutting room floor, which I then slipped on, banana peel style, only to bash my head into the editing bay console. When I came to, this episode was uploaded somehow. I may someday release the UNRATED UNCUT version. We talk a bit about the brilliance of James Adomian. Podcasting about podcasts a little bit. Though we manage to right the ship sometimes and touch upon topics like: 

    • Why You Should Never Retire
    • J "Through a Brandon Darkly" Robinette B wakes up for his allotted 3.5 minutes per day and publicly flies into another senile rage about "How dare he say that about my son and [unintelligible slurring]! I call em patriots'n'[unintelligible slurring, sounds like 'hoes']."
    • Some moron writes moronically about how Javier Milei's overt fascism is actual quite Nuanced and Pragmatic.
    • Scott "Dilbertarian" Adams has some interesting opinions about the profound role of jism in our crumbling civilization and an interesting take on how to greet one's father in a society where all men implicitly want to harm each other.
    • Snoop Dogg ends beef with Trump. (Would be an unstoppable duo.)
    • Libs obsess over Trump minutia to fill the void of Russia Gate.
    • What would you say to Ben Stein if he walked up to your cash register?
    • Burlington, Vermont City Council meeting involves a litany of Zionist crybabies and one in particular let's out a fantastic Freudian slip.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usFebruary 04, 2024

    194 - There's No Sound I Don't Like, Solitary Mind Games, and Cage-based Parental Strategies feat. Jason Newland

    194 - There's No Sound I Don't Like, Solitary Mind Games, and Cage-based Parental Strategies feat. Jason Newland

    Mythic co-founder/cosmic wendigo/mid-wifery doula figure of the podcast, Jason Newland, returns as Tim's tending to highly classified, kinetic-style subterfuge-type affairs. The White House pharmacy is handing out all manner of psychotropics like so many sugary delights on All Hallows' Eve.  The more or less death of Pitchfork Media, which once gave Music, a mode of creative expression consisting of sound and silence expressed through time, a 6.8 out of 10 rating. Opioids keep wreaking havoc, but at least were getting some solid dramatic streaming series out of it. Lex Friedman and Ted Cruz propose totally realistic ways to choose between our two favorite and deranged presidential candidates. USA shatters more fun records (beyond opioids) like homelessness, mass shootings, inability to pay rent and just plain ol' 'suffering' in the abstract. Prince Andrew's puppet fetish revealed. AI errors in naming products online: next step in the evolution of the comedic arts? Gas station heroin: good or great? AI generated hallucinogens: key to Jason's dream job? Apex of homosapienkind reached: a person beats Tetris for the first time ever.

    This is all to say, we should still feel uplifted by a young kid being cured of their deafness through a new gene therapy. Until next time, keep on avoiding the void—as well as The Noid, naturally.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usJanuary 31, 2024

    193 - Everybody Haaretz Sometimes

    193 - Everybody Haaretz Sometimes

    Bryan "Don't Die" Johnson goes on Red Scare. God Made Trump. Speculation about the future and/or lack thereof. And more.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usJanuary 23, 2024

    192 - Kamikaze Detroit feat. Adrian DeLaTorre

    192 - Kamikaze Detroit feat. Adrian DeLaTorre

    Jay Leno and Pat Morita starred in a moving picture called Collision Course and we somehow decided to watch it and talk through our many complex feelings about it. We're joined by Adrian DeLaTorre from the Never Seen It podcast and take a look at this barely-existant artifact of late 1980s Hollywood, racism, and economic-based, lizard-brained fear. Is Jay Leno too nice/square to even believably pretend to be a jerk and/or drunk? Wait, w-w-w-what did Pat Morita nickname himself in the 60s and 70s?!? Why so many cookies for sale at a crime scene? How much better was Tom Noonan's revised version of the script? Bazookas, factory jobs, 'Merican can-do-it-ness, Biker From Hell (slash Raising Arizona), inexplicable lines and their delivery, etc. Detroit was fine until the Japanese ruined all the fun. What did we ever do to deserve this?? Oh, right.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usJanuary 08, 2024

    191 - How Many Years Can Dance on the Head of a Pin?

    191 - How Many Years Can Dance on the Head of a Pin?

    Part meta-/accidental-Year-in-Review, part anhedonic spiraling, part analysis of predictions made 100 years ago about the Year of Our Lord 2024, part the world's sloppy lattice-worked and splatter-painted miscellania and detritus, part Pancake Party.

    What year is this?

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usJanuary 04, 2024

    190 - Oh Well Whatever Never Mind: The Barack Obama Mandela Esquire Story

    190 - Oh Well Whatever Never Mind: The Barack Obama Mandela Esquire Story

    In no particular order: classic Floridian manatee molestation; continued highlighting of author, lawyer, voice of a generation, and former IDF member Barack Obama Mandela, Esq; Gaza should aspire to become like post-War Auschwitz; rabbinical scholars teaching the IDF about permissible rape, righteous ethnic cleansing, and about how Hitler was just a little misunderstood, if you, like, really think about it; public school teacher threatens to behead a student due to a distaste for the symbolic representation of tHe OnLy dEmoCrAcY iN tHe MidDLe EaSt in the classroom; quiet-part-LOUD: "I am for war crimes, I don't care if I'm criticized, I am unable to sleep without watching homes in Gaza being destroyed, more houses, more buildings, I don't want them to have anything to go back to"; of course Mike Johnson took is daughter the local purity ball to pledge her hymen's allegiance to her Lord-appointed daddy-figure; TPUSA's AmericaFest keeps up the good work; Michelle Bachman tries to exist again; Rosanne embarresses herself in front of the  TPUSA set; is Nirvana's iconic album so good it should be illegal?; etc.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usJanuary 02, 2024

    189 - An Immense and Complex Quantity of Brain Fog Protocol

    189 - An Immense and Complex Quantity of Brain Fog Protocol

    Trump's new humble, playfully self-effacing persona sells us pieces of his mugshot suit. Biden remains senile as ever, 65 years on the kibbutz, all compressed down to a 2.5 month timespan, will do that to a feller. TERRORISM-FENTANYL SCREAMS ACROSS OUR SKIES. Slick Willy Clints uses language-violence to make fun of Hilldawg. Satanists will troll to make a valid point, and weirdos will take it too seriously. Bryan Johnson still thinks he'll escape the eternal icy claws of nothingness forever, but no amount of grass- juicing, erection-counting, or bowel-prioritizing will ever let you truly evade the tireless grind of the Universe. You will die, Bryan Johnson, just like all of us. Josh will soon enter the ThunderDome of Florida and hurl various footwear at Meatball/wad Ron's target of a forehead. Argentinian Arby's will be the legacy of totally normal, non-sister-fucking Javier Milei, especially after completely gutting the Argentinian government.  Biden accuses Israel of literal warcrimes, but knows not what he does, Lord. John Kirby is the most evil ventriloquist dummy cursed to experience the world and wander it forever. The blessed Hasbara Machine keeps on churning out hits. The surgically-precise "dumb bombs" keep falling. Soldiers get diap'd up. No hospital, home, school, UN safezone or Palestinian "life" can withstand all this mega-flexing right-to-self-defense death rained down from the anti-Amalekite skies.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usDecember 17, 2023

    188 - Kobe-Lebron Goebbles Conquers America's Cursed Evolutionary Misstep of Consciousness

    188 - Kobe-Lebron Goebbles Conquers America's Cursed Evolutionary Misstep of Consciousness

    Does Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" matter even just a little bit? Are Taylor Swift and George Santos truly folk heroes? Joe Biden gets debriefed on the dangers of AI by watching a blockbuster action movie while deeply sundowning, is mystified by his own deepfake memes, and was gripped by near-total confusion while people chanted the word "Genocide!" at him in Nantucket, surrounded by holiday cheer and flash photography. Poor little guy's had a hard couple of months. No one's had it tougher, really. The Onion lists all the terms being used in lieu of "children" to decribe non-adult Palestinians and it's funny and upsettlingly accurate. Israel uses AI tech literally called 'Gospel' to help intentionally target more civilians. No one's even pretending about this anymore, accept for that ventriloquest dummy from hell, John Kirby. Pentagon scientists held a conference on creating supersoldiers, that will be "flooded with pain-numbing stimulants," tactically assess and eliminate their programmed targets until they're disposed of likewise. The DeSantis v. Newsome debate symbolizes the abysmal state of the union and its half-assed culture wars. Only the outsider politician/author of "the most important book since Adolf Hitler's MEIN KAMPF" (Black Hitler: Kobe-Lebron Goebbels Conquers America), Barack Obama Mandela (legal name) can pull us back from the brink. He must shove aside the demonic creature in human skin suit, Adam Schiff, and ascend to (the late and likewise demonic creature) Diane Feinstein's empty Congressional seat. Finally, some planes were seen behaving badly and Rust Cohle tells us about the curse of consciousness as a bedtime story before we sign off.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usDecember 10, 2023

    187 - How Do I Get Through to These Kids?! feat. Adrian DeLaTorre

    187 - How Do I Get Through to These Kids?! feat. Adrian DeLaTorre

    Alright, we did it, you got us. Just like every other podcast in the world  we decided to celebrate our 187th mainline episode with a viewing of the classic 1997 film, One Eight Seven. We're joined by Adrian DeLaTorre from the Never Seen It podcast to discuss and do a little postmortum examination in a longer-than-the-run-time-of-the-movie episode. We talk about the teacher-in-tha-hood subgenre, mid-90s errata, the inability of Samuel L. Jackson to be bad in even the worst movies, the peculiar fun of incoherent screenplays, sucking on crucifixes, Pyrrhic victories, and much more.

    Very Unfortunate Note: The first hour and twenty minutes of the raw recording of Adrian's track was lost to a rare Zoom recording error. Luckily the remaining two hours and four minutes of raw recording is intact. So the opening will have some odd moments where you're encouraged to imagine the funny and interesting things Adrian said. For example we had a good sidebar on the legacy of Waterworld (also directed by 187's director), Henry Kissinger vampiric-romantic fan fiction, the nature of the guys-talking-about-whatever genre of podcasts, and more. I've tried to insert as many director commentary-like alerts where these moments occured but went horribly unsaved by the our Skynet overlords, the ghost in the Zoom machine.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usDecember 04, 2023

    186 - The Podcast Equivalent of John Cage's 4'33" Turned Up to the Max

    186 - The Podcast Equivalent of John Cage's 4'33" Turned Up to the Max

    In the most pressing news of the day, Snoop Dogg (formerly known as Snoop Lion) reveals what giving up smoke means to him, and totally isn't just reading copy, gets candid as hell. "Ceasefire," hostage swapping, proportionality, Dr. Eli's Hasbara Outlet Black Friday Sale (don't forget your DSA Cyber Monday sale either!).  J Robinette B sundowns harder than ever and will, in fact, save that kid with the psychic abililties (sniffs hair in order to read minds). Argentina goes full accelerationist with President Milei, his cloned dog advisors, his sister-wife, his chainsaw, his pro-children-for-sale stance, and his *shocking* full-fledged allegience to dollarization  and all things true blue anarcho-capitalistic. Hey, remember Ron Paul? We do, too, against our wishes. An impassioned aside in defense of LA public transit. Stuart Seldowitz gives everyone laughs, the creeps. Children are recruited to sing a song that says the loud part even louder about the annihilation of Gaza. There's a funny AI artwork about parting the sea with the strength of Zionism. More and more bad news. But at least Swedish labor unions are giving Elon Musk some backtalk.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usNovember 28, 2023

    185 - Who Needs Food, Water, Medicine and Electricity When You've Got This Abundance of Hasbara?

    185 - Who Needs Food, Water, Medicine and Electricity When You've Got This Abundance of Hasbara?

    We spent a lot of time reflecting and discussing with our families how to never forget 99% Hitler Voter Guy. Salon dot com seems to be writing satirical articles now...or are they? Nikki Haley wants us all to use our real names online, exempting herself, Nimarata Randhawa, from this data collection. She also thinks we ought to work until we give up the ghost, 65's way too young for retirement. Biden is certain of the location of TerrorCity but forgot when he was scared by Tony Blinken's death glare at the moment J Robinette B causually called Xi a dictator. We barely skim the surface of the vast and deep ocean of hasbara just from the past week alone.  Plus, learn how to 'displace' and 'cleanse' the pounds away using the genocide stress diet! 

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usNovember 20, 2023

    Maximum Entropy Theater Presents "RoseBudGarden59 or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the #PsakiBomb"

    Maximum Entropy Theater Presents "RoseBudGarden59 or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the #PsakiBomb"
    The inaugural episode of what will likely turn into a regular type of series of shorter, scripted-ish bonus episodes.

    Some background, per our Discord:

    "Karine Jean-Pierre said some typically awful bullshit recently. So that got us talking about Psaki by comparison. Then I found a Psaki simp in her comments on twitter. I began imagining the hell that must exist in the mind of this man who lives for Monday nights with Jen and Maddow. This naturally led to the idea of Psaki erotic fanfiction. Couldn't find any worthwhile, so I decided to write some myself, which is more about the mental state of this pathetic shit lib guy fantasizing (mentally writing erotic fanfic) strangely, impeded by his desire to be Woke to the Max, but still drawn back to his "lovely Jen" again and again. Kind of like an MSNBC/NPR loyalist liberal version of an 8Chan incel troll type. Anyway, we might make this a semi-regular segment and will try it out on the next episode."

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usNovember 15, 2023

    184 - Courtroom Sketches Against Humanity

    184 - Courtroom Sketches Against Humanity

    Various GOP bullshit. The Monarchy is too funny to exist. Zelensky doing the geopolitical equivalent of panhandling now. It's about time Homer Simpson stops physically terrorizing his son, says supposed "person" at the Guardian.

    P.S. Stay tuned for a short bonus episode later this week about a DNC/#resistance simp's struggle to wokely honor and simultaneously jack off to Jen Psaki.

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usNovember 13, 2023

    183 - An Ambulance as a Hornless Unicorn, Exploded

    183 - An Ambulance as a Hornless Unicorn, Exploded

    Things get a little freeform and loopy. The abandonment of Zelensky. Tony Blinken dressing his son up as Zelesky and daughter as a Ukrainian flag for Halloween. More ghastly atrocities pile up overwhelmingly in 21st century Judaea. Try and pull out of the deathspiral of the topic into lighter climes: We put Biden's two Press Secretaries on the binary scale, this leads to satirical erotic fanfiction being written by yours truly, and then we dish about Ronnie DeSant's height-enhancing boots. [Note: I started talking about the existence of the Jenin Horse statue, made from exploded car and ambulance pieces and meant to be a symbol of hope for those in the Jenin refugee camp, and Palestinians more broadly. I get sidetracked from finishing the point of bringing it up which was that even the statue made from war crime remnants has been ripped away, stolen and destroyed by the IOF.]

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    Heat Death of the Universe
    en-usNovember 06, 2023
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