Humanity's Values

What is happening when we have "feelings" about someone? What should we do about them? Do they require anything of us or of the other person? These questions do not have to generate the angst they so often do. A reminder that our humanity is always looking for what is important to us.

Exploring the so-called "replication problem" in psychological research, in particular focusing on "the Marshmallow Test." Looking at issues about replication, definition and the nature of complexity in studying people.

The struggle between the individualistic and collectivist pressures of our humanity, as seen through reading C.G. Jung’s “The Undiscovered Self” and how the subsuming of a whole person to one or another label, one or another characteristic, however powerful that label may have in its desired meaning, is to set that person up as an impossibly perfect standard and lead to dismissal in the pursuit of purity.

Exploring the nature of self-control, the connection it has to empathy and the picture we have of our ideal self. Reading from The Atlantic article “Self-Control is Just Empathy with Your Future Self” by Ed Yong. Just as we get trapped in the present of a narrow perspective, so our future can become similarly limited.

Further exploration of Sharon Martin’s article looking at: How Codependents Can Stop Enabling and Controlling. Focusing on the habits that enable the behavior of others and learning how enabling is often about the stories we tell ourselves to avoid the uncertainty of deeper questions and keep us from exploring our lives. We are so much more than what we often let ourselves believe.

Exploring an article by Sharon Martin looking at: How Codependents Can Stop Enabling and Controlling. Asking questions of these characteristics are in all relationships, how boundaries work and whether we’re as separate from one another as we think.

A discussion with Heather McPherson, AASECT certified sex therapist, licensed marriage and family therapist, therapist supervisor and founder and CEO of the Sexual Health Alliance. What is the role of a sex therapist? What are common misunderstandings of human sexuality? What leads to a fulfilling sexual relationship?

We are more than any single behavior, yet often define the whole of who we are by a perceived negative act. Our self-labels hide as much as they reveal in an attempt at making the vision of our lives simple and coherent. Exploring the variables contributing to addiction helps us see how the way we look at ourselves can lead to limited understanding of our decisions.

We often create stories to address one problem, only to have it take on a life of its own. More difficult is when such a story is religion and the tendency towards absolutism is a strong psychological pull. Jung’s “The Undiscovered Self” helps us see where when dealing with fanaticism we may unwittingly pull similar tendencies from within ourselves.

Exploring C.G. Jung’s collection of essays “The Undiscovered Self.” The struggle between individual responsibility and the pull of collective identities where responsibility for standing for what one believes is give away. Why do you believe what you do?

Working through “concept creep” and how our mental system of association can expand what is included in ideas and exclude a more nuanced and expansive understanding of experience. No single perspective holds all of reality, we progress in personal growth within our shared humanity through the exploration of varying visions identifying what is important. Mentions: Psychology Today, Mad in America

Viewing emotions from a place of acceptance and acknowledgment of our humanity. Removing the false fight between emotions and reason. Identifying where unhelpful assumptions of our emotional lives trap us into destructive self-talk. Mentions: Daniel Siegel, Steven Hayes, Kelly Wilson

Mindfulness, what it is, the benefits from its practice, and a common misunderstanding. Learn to not get trapped in the lie of a single thought or story being all of who you are. Reality and our potential is bigger than any singular narrow vision. Mentions: Daniel Siegel, Michael Puett, Dr. Jennifer Huggins

On the nature of triggers and how they are an indication of both what we care about and how we see the world. They are not to be scared of or ridiculed for they are part of our humanity. To stop being triggered is to stop caring about how people are treated and how the world looks. Full engagement with the world is being vulnerable and seeking ways to explore how we expand our actions within it. Referencing Martha Nussbaum’s “Upheavals of Thought.”

Valentine’s Day exploration of love through the lens of meaning and emotions at the core of our mental lives. We are not celebrating a particular form of love, but the human capacity to connect and build purposeful stories within our relational reality. We are here to love, to explore the many bridges within and between our shared humanity.

Discussing anger, exploring why we get angry and its connection to our Values. Covering an article from Psychology Today on strategies to work through anger and resentment, with a focus on acceptance, mindful appraisal and learning to escape from the narrow vision of our immediate judgments.

Covering “identity politics” and the “post-truth” world we’re supposedly living in, seen through the lens of understanding our need for creating manageable and coherent personal narratives. Encouragement offered through the words of Martin Luther King Jr.

Covering the last couple chapters of “The Four Agreements,” focusing on how to identify old and unhealthy agreements to replace them with new ones. Explore how to accept the whole of our lives, including the suffering, and learn to forgive by not being trapped by the stories and agreements that are limiting our vision of a more expansive and growth-oriented life.

Exploring the fourth agreement from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book “the 4 Agreements”: Always Do Your Best. Contemplation of what it means to live in the present, to mindfully reflect on the entirety of our existence being open for exploration so long as we’re not trapped in the past or future. With some help from Carl Sagan and star stuff, we can move forward into the new habit of knowing our best is always what are doing, without judgment.

Reading from “The Four Agreements” and exploring the third agreement of “Don’t Make Assumptions.” I discuss the nature of communication, how so often we think we’re listening we’re merely assuming we know everything we need to know and therefore limiting our understanding of the other person and of ourselves. The difficulty of digital communication is touched on, as well as how assumptions play havoc in our personal relationships and in society through politics.