Polyamory Weekly

Kevin Patterson discusses his soon-to-be-released new book, Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamory

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Announcements

• Solo Poly Con is in Seattle in April with early bird pricing until January 31 #sopoco18
• Take the Relations Decisions Lab survey and click Participants>Open Relationship survey if you are currently monogamous and looking to open up your relationship
• Lush’s Polyamory bath bomb

5:15 Interview: Kevin Patterson

• Poly Role Models blog
• Love’s not color blind: race and representation in poly and other alternative communities
• New York Times Magazine article
• Poly Role Models Facebook page with all the book tour events
• He’ll be at Poly Living Philadelphia, Playground Conference in Toronto, CatalystCon, Poly Dallas Millennium and have stops in Portland, Olympia, Seattle, Vancouver
• IndieGoGo to get the book early and support the book tour!
• Enter to win your advance copy of Love’s Not Color Blind! Click on the Love’s Not Color Blind book tour, click the Share button to share it as a public post, and write a post to share it with your friends to enter!
• Find Kevin on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

27:25 Feedback

A listener calls in response to episode 517 to share a rare but serious danger of HSV

31:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Educator, business owner, and burlesque performer Iris Muscarella discusses the importance of nurturing sisterhood in polyamory

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Interview: Iris Muscarella on sisterhood in polyamory

• New insights on relationship anarchy
• Andie Nordren on relationship anarchy
• what is sisterhood exactly, and what does that look like in polyamory?
• What advice would you give to women who feel they aren’t good at making female friends?
• Iris reaches out to her metamours to introduce herself and to show respect for the existing relationship
• How to set up metamour group time if you’re an introvert
• How to let people play to their strengths

26:15 Feedback

• Maria calls in to ask why we don’t use our real names—wouldn’t it be more powerful?
• Alan recommended a few Christian poly-friendly churches: the Metro Community Church, Unitarian Universalist church, and the Christian New Thought church

32:30 Happy poly moment

Ann writes in to say that her young triad is happy

33:30 Thanks!

Thanks to Theresa for sending in $100 donation this week!

34:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Highlights from the best episodes of 2017

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:15 Erich Viege presents a Poly Weekly year in review

• The author of original comic series Wonder Woman William Marston was in a polyamorous triad, and a movie based on his life was released in 2017. Episode 536
• Response to Mayim Bialik’s rant on polyamory
• Ethical Slut 20th anniversary update
• 43 episodes, 17 listener questions (approximately 1/3); cohosts Lusty Guy, Kevin Patterson, Koe Creation, Erich Viedge
• Minx and LG published No Dick Pics: How to Opimize Your Online Dating Profile
• Dan Savage was our biggest celebrity
• Also Pepper Mint, Kitty Chambliss, Cooper Beckett, Isabelle Broué, Dedeker Winston, Page Turner, and AggieSez
• And as we strove for inclusion, Poly Dallas Millennium organizer Ruby Bouie Johnson and Chris Smith, a doctoral student, about his paper called Open to Love; Poly and the Black American. Also Ignacio Rivera spoke on consensual sex education and Iris Muscarella on egalitarian solo poly.
• Then there was the New York Times piece (not) featuring Kevin Patterson
• And how to love someone who was abused (503) , how to love someone whom you love more than he loves you (506), and how to tell a partner no (514), can poly fix my husband—(no, you have to own your shit (523)

23:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Is it OK to use your veto power if your metamour is a drama queen to the point that your needs aren't being met?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Intro and host chat

Lusty Guy cohosts, and we talk over how our polycule handled the holidays this year.

Also, Threadfinder writes in to let us know the Baton Rouge Open and Poly (BROP) group is doing well, and they are also hosting Drums in the Swamp.

9:00 My partner is dating a drama queen

Kathy has been dating for a year a guy who started dating X four months ago. Kathy didn’t get along with the metamour X and feels her own needs were not being met by her partner when he was with the metamour. Kathy feels that Guy would shower X with support, and Kathy would do the emotional labor of supporting Guy through events/breakups with X. But when Kathy needed Guy’s emotional support when she lost her grandmother, she says that Guy couldn’t, and she felt it was because he was always supporting X. Guy and X break up, Kathy supports Guy. He wants to get back together with X, and Kathy feels awful that she just can’t bring herself to back this plan and exercises her veto power. She asks:

So besides sharing my story, I have a question: How do you deal in an ethical way with these situations? How can give my partner the time, space and support he needs while my needs to spend quality time with him and to have a relationship conversation aren't being fulfilled?

• Lusty Guy recommends limiting your interactions and vulnerability with Guy if you feel that you and your relationship are being negatively affected by X
• He also recommends considering owning your shit and determining what you have contributed to the situation
• Minx references the Relationship Bill of Rights and the point that you have the right “to seek balance between what you give to the relationship and what is given back to you.”
• Also, be specific—maybe Guy has been thinking he’s been giving you “emotional support,” but it doesn’t look like the support you want. Say what “emotional support” looks like to you when you ask for it—being physically present for a hug, arranging to spend an uninterrupted hour of listening, or maybe just a kind text message or two. What exactly does good “emotional support” look like? Ask for it, and acknowledge when he does it!

19:00 Feedback

D responds to the question on episode 486 about having a partner newly identify as a heteroromantic grey asexual.

21:00 Happy Poly Moment

Scott wrote in to share that he celebrated his 46th birthday by buying himself a ring with his three lovers’ names on it.

21:50 Thank you!

Thanks to Heidi for the pi donation and to Nicholas and Eric for joining as PW Playmates!

23:20 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Erich Viedge interviews French poly filmmaker Isa Lutine, a.k.a. Isabelle Broué, about her latest poly film.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Intro and host chat

 Nurse, counselor and poly educator Kathy Labriola shares her poly holiday survival guide tips in a guest blog post.

2:45 Poly in the news

• Sudden abundance of black and poly web series and films
• Polyamory is one of the most popular relationship search terms of 2017
• You, me and polyamory: Inside Philadelphia’s growing nonmonogamous community featuring our own Kevin Patterson and Antoinette Crumby’s poly relationship! And their pastor’s response blog post was awesomely compassionate and loving.

11:00 Interview: Erich Viege interviews filmmaker Isa Lutine, a.k.a Isabelle Broué

Broué is the director of the 2004 film Tout le plaisir est pour moi — all the pleasure is for me — about a radio journalist who realises one day she’s lost her clitoris.

In 2016, She made a feature film about polyamory which won the Best Screenplay AND Best feature at the Vancouver women in Film festival in 2017. Her latest project is called Lutine le Film. You can find it at www.lutinelefilm.com and on Facebook Lutine le Film. Broué herself is on Facebook as Isa Lutine. (“Lutine” is the French word for elf or imp and broadly means something like “polyamorous person.”)

If you would like to arrange a screening, you can contact Broué through her website lutinelefilm.com

31:20 Happy Poly Moment

Angel shares the best possible outcome of coming out to a human resource person at work!

32:50 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Kitty Chambliss shares her insights on jealousy and the Jealousy Survival Guide

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Intro and host chat

We’re on Spotify!

1:50 Poly in the news

Polyamory in Sicilon Valley

4:10 Interview: Kitty Chambliss, author of the Jealousy Survival Guide

Kitty Chambliss is a #1 Amazon best selling author, relationship coach, polyamorous and sex-positive speaker, activist, and founder of Loving Without Boundaries (LWB). Since 2012 LWB has over 200 blog posts and 70 podcasts to date. Kitty’s work has been featured in Stories From the Polycule, Multiamory, Swingtowns, PostModern Woman, the upcoming book It’s Called Polyamory: Coming Out About Your Nonmonogamous Relationships, and other publications around the globe.

Kitty is a professional dual-certified (CPC and ELI-MP) relationship coach. Lastly Kitty is thrilled to be bringing her first book: Jealousy Survival Guide: How to feel safe, happy, and secure in an open relationship out to the world. Kitty has made it her life’s mission to make thriving relationships – even unconventional ones – attainable to everyone. Find her on her website.

33:40 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Pepper Mint discusses his new book, Playing Fair: Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men Into Women

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Intro and host chat

Minx apologizes for not publishing the last two weeks due to work and family obligations, but yay, we have an interview with Pepper this week!

2:00 Interview: Pepper Mint

Pepper Mint is an activist, educator, and community organizer in the polyamory and BDSM communities in San Francisco.  Over the years, he has been responsible for many fun adventures, including Poly Speed Dating and the OpenSF conference.  You can find his writings at freaksexual.com and pepperminty.com, and you can buy his new book Playing Fair: a Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men Into Women on Amazon here or at Thorntree Press here.

24:30 Feedback

Nick writes in about how the episode 535 on asexuality was a revelation for him.

28:40 Happy Poly Moment

Catharina shares a happy poly moment about being an awesome partner and metamour!

31:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

South African correspondent Erich Viedge interviews sex educator Casey Blake for tips on how to talk about your poly relationships and your general polyamory with your kids:

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Intro and host chat

So excited to bring you another piece out of South Africa. The audio line wasn’t the best, but we hope the great interview shines through!

2:30 Interview: Casey Blake

Casey Blake is a South African sex educator who helps parents to break the silent taboo of speaking about our lives in ways that can make a difference for our children. She founded What Now Counselling in 2013 to provide a variety of services to help people cope with the life, when the first words that come to mind are "What Now?" and runs workshops on how to have “the talks” about sex and relationship with kids.

South African correspondent Erich Viedge interviews Casey Blake to ask about how to come out to his own kids, and she recommends a few things:

• Don’t insist on being the source of all correct information—be willing to say you don’t know or to ask them what they think.
• Ask them what do relationships mean to you?
• If your kid discovers you have a date outside your marriage, ask them what they think about that? What does “date” mean to you?
• When we are silent about things, it teaches our children that they can’t talk to us. Bring stuff up, even out of the blue—it teaches them that they can also bring up unspoken things or ask questions after a while.
• It’s OK to teach that sex is nice/pleasurable, and that’s why the door is closed.
• An easy answer is to ask what do you think. For example, if your kid asks what you do on your date with your girlfriend, ask them, “what do you think?” Don’t let your internalized shame get in the way of communication with your kid.
• Ask the children for the information they’ve got in a conversational manner: where did you hear that? What do you think? (Listen, breathe and try not to laugh!) Pixelate what needs pixelating.
• Being ignorant makes your kids susceptible to danger.
• You can’t talk with your children about something you are ashamed they know you’re doing.

You can find her on Facebook at Tools for Having The Talks - with Casey Blake or on Facebook at Body-Positive Parenting - with Casey Blake

24:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Ignacio Rivera shares their latest work on a variety of topics, including consensual sex education

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Sponsorship: Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents!

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

2:30 Poly in the news

• Spike Lee’s new poly, pansexual Netflix series, She’s Gotta Have It
• Professor Bob reviews Professor Marston and the wonder Women

6:30 Interview: Ignacio Rivera

Ignacio Rivera aka Papí Coxxx who prefers the gender-neutral pronoun “they” is a Two-Spirit, Black Boricua Taíno New Yorker currently living in Baltimore. Ignacio has spoken at home and abroad on various topics including but not limited to sexuality, racism, sexism, transgender issues, anti-oppression, anti-violence, sexual liberation and multi-issue organizing. Ignacio’s work has manifested itself through skits, one-person shows, poetry, lectures, workshops and experimental film.

Ignacio identifies as an independent polyamorist, kinky, switch and sex worker who is on a sexually liberating life-long path. They are the founder of Poly Patao Productions (P3), The HEAL Project and Re(Nude) Sex(uality) Coaching. They can be seen in Pink and White Productions, “The Wild Search " Morty Diamond’s “Tranny Fags” on a “Trans Entity: The Nasty Love of Papí and Wil” and Cheryl Dunye's "Mommy is Coming."

We talk about their consensual sex education projects, their Pure Love talk show with their daughter about what her sex education was like (and the results thereof), and how they came to be poly before the internet. They started Shades of Poly, a nonmonogamous support group for poly people of color.

Re(Nude) Sex(uality) Coaching

Pure Love talk show with their daughter

HEAL project coverage

30:45 Feedback

Kim in Liverpool writes in to say how useful the solo poly conversation with Iris Muscarella was helpful.

33:30 Happy Poly Moment

J shares a first happy poly moment of finally being comfortable with a metamour.

37:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

We review this stellar poly romantic comedy with sociologist Mimi Schippers.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:15 Poly in the news

• Marston movie wins more poly plaudits, sinks at box office; director and angry granddaughter face off in print
• Professor Marston’s opening weekend
• All coverage

6:45 Sponsorship: Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents!

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

8:00 Interview: Sociologist Mimi Schippers on the Wonder Women movie

Mimi Schippers is Professor of Sociology and Gender and Sexuality Studies at Tulane University and teaches courses on gender, sexuality, and feminist and queer theory. She also developed one of the first college courses on the sociology of monogamy and polyamory. Her book Beyond Monogamy: Polyamory and the Future Of Polyqueer Sexualities was published in August 2016 and focuses on the feminist, queer, and anti-racist potential of polyamory, multi-adult intimate relationships, and group sex.

Her website is mimischippers.com, and she blogs at marxindrag.com. Find her on Twitter and Facebook.

• Why this movie is awesome
• Angela Robinson centered the story on Elizabeth and Olive rather than on Marston and male-dominant polygyny
• The ultimatum and the six-hour walk
• A poly-centered view of the stories of historical figures such as Emma Goldman and e e cummings

Her blog post reviewing the movie is here.

36:15 Movie review: Joreth on Professor Marston and the Wonder Women

Her full 25-minute review and conversation with Alan from the Poly in the News blog is available at www.polyishmoviereviews.com

40:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Justine of asexuality.org busts asexual myths and shares her experiences

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat and announcements

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

3:00 Interview: Asexuality

Justine/Heart is a physicist by day who volunteers at www.asexuality.org and spoke to us about what asexuality is and how to find resources to learn more.

https://asexualoutreach.org/ for live meetups in North America

To reach Justine, go to the asexuality.org forums and message her.

24:15 Feedback

Andy from Ann Arbor called in to let us know about polyamory in a science fiction book by Nora Jemisin, The Fifth Season. The second book in the series has a poly triad seamlessly worked into the book, and the first two books in the trilogy won the Hugo award two years in a row.

25:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Janet Hardy on the last 20 years of polyamory and the latest edition of the Ethical Slut.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat and announcements

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

2:45 Interview: Janet Hardy on her life and The Ethical Slut’s third edition

Janet Hardy, author of over a dozen books on sexuality, BDSM and polyamory, joins us for a life and editorial update. She’s sharpening her illustration skills for a brand-new, fully-illustrated edition of The Sexually Dominant Woman and working with her grown sons on their early poly lives, working title “Slut and Sons.”

We talk about that great write up in Rolling Stone, the first headline about geeks making the best lovers that opened the door to talking about poly in the 90s and how that has changed. And we talk about what is new in ES3—consent culture, more inclusiveness and more. Plus, Janet’s favorite musical!

Buy the book from Janet’s Facebook page or book Janet through her website

26:15 Happy poly moment

New listener Sarah shares a happy poly moment about her partners collaborating to make her day.

27:45 Thank you!

Welcome Meiyi to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

28:15 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

A listener asks how to reduce friction and awkwardness in first-time metamour meetings; LustyGuy and Minx respond, and correspondent Erich Viedge offers a relevant interview with and letter from Wilrieke Sophia.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat and announcements

• Remember my response to Mayim Bialik’s clueless video about open relationships? She did a correction video here in which she corrected her assumptions about open relationships and polyamory. Huzzah for Mayim!
• In personal news, Minx and her kitty moved in with LustyGuy and L to form a blended household.
• If you want to have us speak at your event outside the US and are willing to host a fundraiser to finance our travel, we are happy to donate classes, signed books and even relationship coaching to help you out! Interested? Email lustyguy@polyweekly.com

9:30 Topic: reducing friction in first-time metamour meetups

Claire in Portland has three partners with some being long-distance, and she is arranging for everyone to meet for the first time. How can she reduce the awkwardness of this first meeting and make sure everyone is comfortable?

• You can’t make anyone do anything
• Think of it as a party: set up channels of communication beforehand, introduce people and conversational topics, have favorite foods and drinks at hand, diminish expectations and pressure, have icebreaker activities set up
• Model the behavior you want to see: calm and vulnerable
• Let everyone know that nothing rides on this—you can flub everything up, and it will still be OK
• Ask everyone involved what they would need to be comfy and their ideas for helping to make everyone else comfy
• Thanks to Erich Viedge for interviewing poly activist and educator Wilrieke Sophia on a similar topic and having her read her “Letter to the Women Who Sleep with My Man” for us!

27:10 Feedback

A listener wrote in to comment on a response to herpes we discussed on episode 517, pointing out that, while most people experience herpes as a minor inconvenience at most, herpes can be quite painful for some outlier cases.

29:00 Happy poly moment

A listener writes in to share how she and her husband overcame the obstacles to enable her to ask for what she wanted and to be truly happy for her husband and their new lover!

33:35 Book review: Erich Viege interviews Paige Turner

Our correspondent Erich Viedge interviews Paige Turner, author of Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory. Paige Turner is an educator and author living in Cleveland, Ohio and blogs daily at http://www.poly.land, Tweets at @polydotland and has a Facebook group.

42:00 Thank you!

Welcome Theodore and Mallory as new Poly Weekly Playmates! And thanks to Katherine and Craig for your donations!

42:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Sex therapist Ruby Bouie Johnson addresses a listener question about premature ejaculation.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Poly in the news

• The Ethical Slut is in Rolling Stone!
• Poly in the news coverage of the Rolling Stone piece
• The coverage of the Marston/Wonder Woman poly movie in the Poly in the News blog

7:45 Topic: Can I be poly if I come too quickly?

Sexpert and sex therapist Ruby Bouie Johnson joins us to give advice to a listener who reports suffering from premature ejaculation and wonders if he can be poly with this issue? Does he need to find a partner who also comes quickly?

Ruby ponders a few questions: how quickly is too quickly? Does this happen all the time, even when masturbating?

Video hub of instruction

The Guide to Getting It On

List ?

Urban Tantra

www.sextherapistruby.com www.blacksexgeek.net

www.polydallasmillennium.com

How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Iris Muscarella, burlesque performer, jazz singer and new poly educator, shares insights on solo and egalitarian polyamory.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Poly in the news

• Professor Marsten and the Wonder Women, the bio pic about William Moulton Marsten, the polyamorous creator of Wonder Woman, comes out October 13
• It’s time for the church to talk about polyamory

7:05 Interview: Iris Muscarella on solo and egalitarian polyamory

Iris Muscarella, business owner, burlesque performer and jazz singer, host of Dallas-area poly women’s sleepovers and new poly educator, shares thoughts on solo and egalitarian polyamory.

Solo egalitarian poly is the love language of the individual. “I don’t wanna be your whole world; I just wanna be a part of your world.”

How Iris defines solo and egalitarian; relationship anarchy; how solo poly differs from “just dating”; how do you show the importance of your relationship(s) in the absence of typical relationship escalator benchmarks; what do solo poly people need to have in their toolkits; how can people be better allies to people of color in the poly community—listen to hear, not to respond

33:30 Feedback

• Herbalwise shares a bit of everyday poly in the podcasting world
• Friggin’ Limey calls in to let us hear his accent!

36:00 Happy Poly Moment

A listener writes in to share a sexy and erotic happy poly moment—and breakfast afterwards!

38:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Listener AJ asks what are the political struggles of the poly movement today.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

• LustyGuy and Kevin Patterson cohost
• We were listed as one of the Eight Most Inventive, Informative and Titillating Sex Podcasts by Indie Wire!

3:30 Topic: What are the real political struggles of the poly movement today, and what should they be?

Listener AJ writes in to ask if being considered a target by marketers and being included in the legal system should really be the goals of the poly movement. “Do we really desire inclusion in the system we already have?” they question, along with questioning what are the real struggles of the poly movement today and what we can learn from the LGBTQ resistance movements.

Find Kevin as Poly Role Models on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

Tumblr blog

Support Kevin at http://patreon.com/polyrolemodels

He’ll be at CatalystCon speaking on race and sex-positive parenting

How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

There is a growing demand for poly plot lines in science fiction novels. Guest host Erich Viege interviews Alisia Gus of Curiosity Quills publishing.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

Erich Viege is hosting this week

2:15 Poly in the News

Amanda Palmer on her open marriage with Neil Gaiman, now.

3:30 Interview: Curiosity Quills publisher Alisia Gus on polyamory

There is a growing demand for sci fi books with poly in background. And they are accepting submissions, if you’re a writer! Gus wants to partner with other publishers telling more stories of non-mono relationships. And she is offering a subscription box, like book box of the month.

To submit, email curiosity@curiosityquills.com

Current poly sci fi novels from Curiosity Quills:

Kiya: Hope of the Pharaoh

Survival Kit’s Apocalypse

Ruth Fox Sinclair The White Pavilion

Links:

https://curiosityquills.com/

Alisa Gus

Alisa’s Twitter, Curiosity Quills Twitter

18:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Chris Smith on polyamory and the Black American

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Poly in the News

A Yoplait ad campaign builds on the idea of polyamory

4:20 Interview: Chris Smith

Chris Smith is a PhD student at Howard University studying higher education and a relationship researcher focused on non-monogamy within the Black demographic.

Open to Love; Poly and the Black American

• People raise sex and put it on a pedestal. And that’s OK, but raise communication and flexibility to that same level.
• Polyamory as a possible method of strengthening Black economic power
• Medical Apartheid: The Dark History of Medical Experimentation on Black Americans from Colonial Times to the Present
• Blacks are already ostracized; it can be difficult to add polyamory to the mix. As a Black male, it’s already hard to fight the aggressive and overly sexualized stereotypes; polyamory can appear to reinforce those
• Link for the Black and poly survey Let’s get to 3,000!
• Black polyamorous anthology description and consent forms to participate email mrtenability@gmail.com
• Find Chris Smith on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter as MrTenability

35:50 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

What behavioral patterns do you establish at the beginning of your relationships, and why does that matter?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

If you want to have us speak at your event outside the US and are willing to host a fundraiser to finance our travel, we are happy to donate classes, signed books and even relationship coaching to help you out! Interested? Email lustyguy@polyweekly.com

5:10 Poly in the News

The third edition of their seminal book, The Ethical Slut!

6:20 Topic: behavioral patterns in your relationships (and how to establish them)

Sarah from Australia asked for Lusty Guy to elaborate on his comment about patterns at the start of relationship establishing what will happen later on in the relationship. What patterns do you establish when you start dating? Any red flag behaviors? What the hell is Lusty Guy talking about?

• A pattern is the behavior you adopt in the face of differing styles or approaches to stuff in relationships
• The way you establish a pattern is to ask yourself how you ideally want to respond to conflicts or conflicting patterns (such as who plans a date)—and those will often persist throughout the duration of the relationship
• What do you want your partner to learn?
• LG likes to look for ways to be his very best self in the first relationship conflict. “Whenever you want to reach someone, you have to be reachable.” Be vulnerable!
• Red flags: pay attention to the nature of the stories people tell about themselves. Are they the avenging hero? Martyr? Berserker? Affable buffoon? And look for the differences between the behavior you observe and the stories they tell
  • Also, do they share?
  • How do they talk about their past relationships? Are they respectful of past partners and relationships?
  • What comments do they make about strangers?

24:25 Feedback

Thanks for having Goody Howard on the show!

26:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

What is a "comet," and why are they valuable?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

Koe Creation cohosts

1:00 Announcements

Poly Dallas Millennium got a great write up in the Dallas Observer!

2:45 Poly in the News

Polish ethicist addresses polyamory—because his grandfather was poly

Poly comedian in the U.K. describes her polyamory as feminist and liberating

Koe mentions Sex at Dawn

7:30 Topic: let’s talk about poly comets!

A listener calls in to ask more about poly comets. Rough definition of a comet: An occasional lover who passes through one’s life semi-regularly, but without an expectation of continuity or a romantic relationship. For more poly terms, check out More Than Two’s excellent poly glossary.

Koe shares their ideas on long-term comets and short-term comets

18:45 Feedback

The chairperson of Poly Denmark writes in to let us know that poly is alive and well in Scandinavia and has been for over 10 years!

Polydan; includes e-mail list.

Polyamory.dk (note the interesting version of the infinity-heart logo).

23:15 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”