Really Useful Conversations

I make no secret of my journey to and from the bottom of the narrow, dark tunnel and have never hidden the work I tried to do around that time to keep myself safe, or forgotten the people that kept me alive - but if I had known then what I know NOW, I reckon my life would have been sooooo much better and easier! I might not even have got to the desperate point of intending to end my life and maybe even physically AND financially would be in a much better place! Hindsight is a wonderful thing ... But how about if you could learn from my experience, avoid that deep. dark hole, help your partner, spouse, mate, team member or colleague be more aware, more informed, more able to avoid the pitfalls that I tumbled into? This week's episode is definitely worth listening to AND visit the website to find out even more, for free! Hindsight is wonderful, but can also be a harsh task master - learn from MY lack of knowledge and don't go there yourself!

Menopause isn’t just hot flushes and night sweats - in fact the majority of women report that the cognitive, emotional and psychological symptoms are often far more debilitating. Anxiety, depression, lingering sadness and even an increased risk of suicidal thoughts.   This is a Really Useful Conversation we need to be having and information that needs to be better known and understood. If you’re a Well-being Champion or First Aider for Mental Health, or an MHFA trained person, this is an episode you really do need to tune into and perhaps consider the add-on learning module too.

In a world where everything moves at pace and where twists and turns are around each corner, organisations who take care of their people and truly value and invest in wellbeing will triumph in this competitive labour market. Whether they are upskilling their managers to have conversations that matter about subjects such as mental health, wellbeing, menopause or investing in appointed persons as Wellbeing Champions or First Aiders for Mental Health, it is easy to understand why such organisations will be more attractive to potential employees and how they will retain talent and expertise from within. This week we have had menopause awareness day here in the UK and it's great to see organisations engaging in this - but will it be "business as usual" next week once the date on the calendar has passed?

Pam Brown works in the very male dominated financial services industry and when menopausal symptoms began she started avoiding meetings, questioning her confidence, declining invitations and felt like sitting in the corner with a bucket on her head, literally crying over spilt milk. She’s since been nominated for Women’s Industry Recognition Awards, climbed Ben Nevis and is in training for a half marathon! Tune in to listen to our very casual but Really Useful Conversation as we do our bit to promote Menopause Awareness Day in the UK this week.      Contact Pam through if you want to find out more about free well-being advice through certain life protection policies too.

This month is a busy month for me and my business. World Mental Health Day and Menopause Awareness Month are two initiatives designed to keep the conversations going about these two very important topics. The theme for WMHD is around mental health and wellbeing for all as a GLOBAL priority - but before we go global, let's check out our own back yard first and as for the menopause, we need to push past the limited stereotypical view of hot flushes and night sweats and understand more about the debilitating symptoms, be that emotional, psychological or physical that 80% of women will experience. Continuing the conversation is the theme - and I've started so I'll finish! Lots to think about this month!

So often people are familiar with the issue of the number of men who take their own lives - particularly middle aged men and the fact that 75% of deaths by suicide in the UK are male. However, not everyone is as aware of the significant increase over recent years in young female suicide. During a recent workshop I ran, a lot of people were curious as to what reason there could be for this and we chatted about various potential contributing factors. The question stuck in my head though and I started to explore the factors that might make life more challenging, more overwhelming for young females in the UK and suggest what a few of those things might be in this episode. By no means scientific or evidence based but certainly some food for thought. Although the overall message I want you to take away is - nobody is immune, suicide does not discriminate - look out for those around you. Take care x

One of the common myths around the sensitive subject of suicide is that people who attempt suicide or die by suicide are all mentally ill. Now mental illness can indeed play a part, it can be a risk factor, but not everyone who is mentally ill will die by suicide, just as not everyone who dies by suicide is mentally ill! There are a whole host of factors which often create a complex combination of issues that bring a person to that state of feeling hopeless and desperate about life - join me in this week's podcast to find out more and by better understanding these issues, make a positive difference in your community.

I never intended to be away from podcast land for so long but projects, work, life got in the way - but I am delighted to be back, bringing more opportunities for people to get comfortable with the uncomfortable and have conversations that matter. I believe there are Seven Significant Conversations that all managers, leaders and business owners need to be able to have yet we sometimes shy away from them, avoid difficult or challenging conversations, sweep sensitive subjects under the carpet - and this series is all about putting your big girl pants on and saying what needs to be said! In a way that is appropriate and achieves the desired outcome, of course!

After 30 episodes of what I am told is excellent content, Season One comes to a close and I am taking a breather. Chance to pause, reflect and see what we need to have a Really Useful Conversation about next. What do you think??

After 30 episodes of what I am told is excellent content, Season One comes to a close and I am taking a breather. Chance to pause, reflect and see what we need to have a Really Useful Conversation about next. What do you think??

For the last 22 years I have been helping managers across every sector to have difficult conversations in the workplace. Whether around poor performance, absence, conduct or capability, managers need to be able to have Crucial Conversations that matter. To celebrate my 22nd Anniversary in business, this episode is all about how to have those conversations - starting from it's original Tough Talk workshop and how it has developed to Crucial Conversations for today's clients. Everyone needs to be capable of saying what needs to be said, but in a way that maintains positive relationships so I hope this helps! https://confidentconversations.co.uk

Conversations can change organisations; develop relationships, improve standards, increase results – conversations can even save lives and this week in the UK, on Thursday 3rd Feb, it is Time to Talk Day. Run by Mind and Rethink Mental Illness,  is the nation’s biggest mental health conversation so I thought it only right that this weeks Really Useful Conversations podcast episode should be encouraging more of us to get involved, to get more comfortable with the uncomfortable and contribute to communities, whether in the workplace or socially, where people feel they can talk openly about stuff that is bothering them and feel empowered to get any help they might need and I hope you get lots of value from this podcast. There are conversations that we all need to be having more of.

Covid and the instruction to “work from home” thrust a lot of companies into hybrid working for the first time, with little chance to prepare or set good foundations in place and as hybrid seems to be now much more popular with people, I had a Really Useful Conversation with Gary Cook, author of HR for Hybrid Working, and we talked about what organisations might need to now do differently, how their people policies might need to change and what advice Gary would offer from his extensive research to HR professionals over the next 12 months. I hope you will find the conversation as useful as I did! Please do share with other HR folk if you think they would benefit too and find out more about Gary here www.epichr.co.uk

There is NO science to support the claim that the third Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year HOWEVER there is a LOT of science behind the suggestion that conversations and human connection matter. Can I suggest that you ignore the media hype for Blue Monday, and focus on making it BREW Monday - an excellent opportunity to check in with your team and colleagues and have conversations that matter. If you find that someone is struggling, there is a FREE download on my website that you will find helpful and if you need advice on topping up the resilience and well-being tank, then you will find this episode really useful. Learn about the Pillars of Wellbeing and how, even if we can't change issues that are affecting us, we can build our resilience levels to cope with them.

Lots of organisations right now are dealing with high levels of absence due to the ongoing challenge with Covid, and many are establishing policies and approaches for dealing with that. The UK Government warned employers to prepare for as much as a 25% absence rate, but whether during a pandemic or otherwise, how should we be managing absence? What conversations should we be having? Why do those conversations matter? Tune in to this week’s episode for a useful overview of what the process should be and why it matters, as well as some thoughts about bringing people back to work safely and successfully. Even without the Coronavirus pandemic, we should be skilled and confident to have conversations that matter.

When we struggle with something we often try to hide it, relating struggle with failure and not wanting to accept it, admit it or acknowledge it! If I am struggling am I not coping? Should you not trust me if I am struggling? How comfortable are you at letting me struggle, or do you need to fix it? At the start of a brand new year when people are often focussing on New Year Resolutions and setting goals for the year ahead, what a perfect time to talk to Productivity Ninja Grace Marshall, who is a big advocate of struggling, so much so that she wrote a book about it! Grace suggests that Struggle is the place where the treasure and golden nuggets can be found and that by shying away from it or avoiding it, we are missing the opportunities that really matter. You can find out more about Grace and why struggle matters at – I hope you enjoy our conversation and it gives you some food for thought as we face into a brand new year.

Something of my personal story today, as I had my own period of living with the very uncomfortable and not talking about it.  I make no secret of my very unhappy marriage, where I felt trapped, stuck, controlled and couldn’t see a way out – someone who told me that I would never survive without them, couldn’t cope, my son would suffer too and so I stayed put for ALL the wrong reasons. And this week is the anniversary of the time when I finally said “Actually no – it’s done” …. Reflecting on how things were, how things now are and how things might be – if only we had the courage to say what needs to be said and lead the life that makes us truly happy! Conversations can change and even save lives – Really Useful ones especially. I hope my Twixtmas episode gives you the clarity for 2022 and what needs to be said. Really Useful Resources are available on the website if you feel you need professional help in dealing with unsatisfactory stuff. Take good care x

Our often stereotypical view of someone with a drink problem is the dishevelled homeless man on the park bench with a can of beer in his hand at 10am – we rarely conjure up the image of the nicely presented, manicured and coiffed HR professional who is actually a high functioning alcoholic underneath it all. In this episode I talk to Janet Gourand, founder and leader at Tribe Sober, an international community of people who are enjoying the benefits of a sober life. Janet was indeed once that HR professional – suited and booted and succeeding in the corporate world, yet hiding a drink problem that would cause issues such as almost drowning, being rescued naked by the fire service and completely forgetting episodes of her life. She shares how, as a high functioning alcoholic, a glass of wine every night was the norm, and in fact became much more, and how eventually she had to make a choice. We also talk about how to have a Really Useful Conversation with someone if you are concerned about their drinking habits and how to help them get the help they need; also how to get the help YOU might need if that person is you. For more details about Janet and the work she does, and to get help yourself, please visit

Menopause is so much more than hot flushes and night sweats and if we consider the number of women who struggle with increased risk of stress, anxiety, depression and even thoughts of suicide, we need to be more aware and supportive within the workplace. We need to be aware of the increase in employment tribunals citing menopause as a contributing factor, the number of women who consider quitting their role, and those who struggle with lack of self confidence, inability to focus and concentrate and those who start to doubt their ability to do their job.  The number of women dying by suicide who are of menopausal age has increased, as has the number of employment tribunals - as our awareness and understanding improves, so should the way that employers handle this critical life stage.  We will be hosting an online seminar on this important subject in January and you can find out more details at https://confidentconversations.co.uk/mmh

According to recent research, over half the employees surveyed said they would welcome a two week lockdown over Christmas to help them deal with their feelings of overwhelm and burnout, caused by the return to the workplace since July 2021. With absence figures running high, employer expectations high, customer expectations higher, 73% of respondents said they were really struggling with "returnism", following a long period away from the workplace due to the Coronavirus global pandemic.  What is causing this? What do we need to be doing about it? Is a two week festive lockdown the answer? Tune in to this week's episode to learn more as we have a Really Useful Conversation about this issue and visit to access free resources to help if this is the case for you.