Relating to Self

In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 26 November 2023, the wonderful Suvarchala (S02E15) comes back to ask me questions about how I relate to myself.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• The story of who I was 10 years ago and my first identity dissolution
• When I achieve my goals and I am not happy, what's next?
• The questions that drive me today
• The experiences that have defined me
• How these stories changed my relationship to myself and my romantic relationships
• Talking to my inner parts, what does that look like?
• The influence of parts work on the rest of my life
• The layer cake of "me" and the importance of compassion
• Attuning to aliveness and surrendering
• Healing the wounds of my lineage
• The healing modalities I have used or discovered
• My thoughts on love and romantic relationships (don't miss this!)
• The kind of lover I want to call in right now
• Being seen, poetry, love, compassion
• My process of relating and coming to truthfulness
• Healthy boundaries and consent (don't miss this either!)
• And a lot more...

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 25 September 2023, the amazing Bryan Kam (S03:E03) comes back to ask me questions about how I relate to myself.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• How I relate to myself now, as opposed to a year ago
• The power of collective practices
• The shift from the mind to the body when it comes to the question "what am I?"
• Doing relating to self work in held spaces for other practices
• Being a fully empowered being with agency
• Sex-positive events - consent culture - not judging my own desires
• What "spirituality" means to me
• Letting go of what doesn't serve me
• Relating to Self with others
• My intention of offering retreats - accepting that I am a guide and teacher
• "Becoming who I am"
• The mind as a hall of mirrors - letting the body do its thing
• The role of other living things in my neighborhood - meta-consciousness
• Resistance coming from the mind, not the body
• The need for new stories - mythmaking - how to speak about what I want to do
• Relating to Self - singing polyphony - entrepreneurship
• How can I help you? Write me an email: joachim@relatingtoself.com

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 27 April 2023, I have a conversation with Nathan Vanderpool, a father, a seeker, an artist. Someone who's striving to grow. who suffers. who gets petty. who feels overwhelmed. who relaxes. who opens. who connects.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• Embracing Despair: Finding Meaning in Difficult Emotions
• Internal Family Systems: Releasing Tensions in the Body
• The Impact of Meditation on Wellbeing
• Refraining from Labeling Experiences as Good or Bad
• Building Different Aspects of Oneself
• Surrender and Acceptance
• The Importance of Flexibility in Response
• Understanding Life through Experience
• The Practice of Self-Improvement
• The Self as a Collection of Parts
• Loneliness and Its Relation to Self
• Cultivating Range in Response to Situations

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 24 April 2023, I have a conversation with Richard, a consultant, Sandboxer, and improvisation-enthusiast. 

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• The Impact of Language on Perception
• Consistency of Social Interactions during COVID Lockdown
• Introspective Relationship with Oneself Influenced by Interactions with Others
• Altering Internal Dialogue to Promote Positivity
• Advocating for Precise Language to Enhance Emotional Experiences
• Transmitting Personal Meanings When Words Are Interpreted Differently
• Accepting Impermanence and Cherishing the Present
• Embracing Different Versions of Oneself Daily
• Using Improv as a Mirror for Self-Discovery
• Stepping Out of Default Behaviors
• Shifting Towards Appreciating One’s Current Situation
• Living a Resilient and Sustainable Life Through Self-Acceptance and Behavioral Change

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 23 April 2023, I have a conversation with Anne-Lorraine, who really likes to thoroughly enjoy food to the last corner of possible experience. And who is increasingly less shy to call herself a poet.

She is also the creator of Touchcards, a wonderful game to explore touch.

You can follow her on Twitter/X.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• The evolving nature of the self
• The impact of depression on self-perception
• Choosing the right posture for each moment
• Coping mechanisms for overwhelming emotions
• Intergenerational trauma
• Embracing intuition
• Surrendering into a different reality
• Experiencing the body through the senses
• Therapeutic modalities
• Balancing being and doing
• Skepticism about energy work
• Allowing creativity to arise naturally

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 17 April 2023, I have a conversation with Jessica, whose mission is to empower women as a purpose coach.

You can find Jessica on Instagram.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• Embracing the Self as a Community of Parts
• The Healing Power of Writing One’s Life Story
• Transformative Journeys Through Writing
• Inspiring Others Through Our Personal Story
• Commitment Despite Challenges
• Rewards of the Writing Process
• Self-Compassion and Personal Development
• The Cathartic Experience of Writing
• The Significance of Embracing Various Aspects of Self
• The Impact of Self-Compassion on Personal Growth
• Exploring the Concept of Internal Supportive Parts

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 17 April 2023, I have a conversation with Dave, a minimalist nomad who has built a journaling business.

You can find Dave on Instagram.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• vulnerability and following initial impulses
• learned behaviors, shame, and jealousy
• cravings and desires in life
• the connection between repressed aspects of oneself and shame
• gut bacteria and cravings
• internal family systems
• journaling as a reflective practice
• revisiting thoughts over time
• setting personal goals
• daily affirmations
• celebrating personal successes
• impact of AI advancements on understanding consciousness and impulses

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on April 12, 2023, I have a conversation with Steven Emery. Steven is an intuitive artist and product manager.

You can find Steven's website here, and you can follow him on X/Twitter.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• The self as a group of individuals
• Journaling for self-discovery
• Art as a reflection of identity
• Music’s tension and release mirroring self-acceptance
• Anxiety’s impact on creativity
• Embracing anxiety as a motivator
• Silence and nonverbal communication in art
• Establishing personal boundaries in relationships
• Responsibility for one’s experiences
• Meditative journaling for managing anxiety
• The journey to inner peace and its ongoing nature

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In this episode of Relating to Self, I have a conversation with Will Curran. Will wears many hats and seems to have grown up with a healthy sense of self. How will that translate to how he relates to himself?

You can find Will's website here.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• Embracing self-love and awareness
• The role of music as a personal sanctuary
• Childhood influences on appreciation for silence
• Church as a structure for meditation habits
• Spiritual practices shaped by inspirational figures
• Learning from the experience of school expulsion
• The impact of positive self-talk on mindset
• The power of vocalizing thoughts for change
• The art of being present in conversations
• Transitioning from introversion to extroversion
• Navigating the blend of personal and professional selves
• Adapting to remote work and self-reinvention

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 8 April 2023, I have a conversation with Imma, a sommelier who is inviting people to live in conversations.

You can connect with Imma through her linktree.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• Self as a Construct: Imma views the self as a construct defined through relationships with others and the environment.
• Sensory Experiences: the role of touch and other senses as essential for understanding and interacting with the world.
• Influence of Microorganisms: how gut bacteria and other organisms may influence our decisions and sense of self.
• Consciousness in Winemaking: yeast and its potential inherent intelligence in the winemaking process.
• Non-Human Intelligence: challenges in recognizing the consciousness and intelligence of plants and fungi.
• Childhood Curiosity: Imma’s early fascination with nature shaped her view of humans as part of an ecosystem.
• The Role of Attention: how attention shapes the relationship with the self and the perception of the environment.
• Children’s Perspectives: the value of the unfiltered perspectives children have on their sensory experiences.
• Importance of Place: Imma’s experience of living in one place for 13 years and how it formed her understanding of self.
• Subjective Labeling of Experiences: how the mind categorizes experiences as good or bad, including personal likes and dislikes.

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 17 January 2023, the wonderful Mary Bajorek (S03E05) comes back to ask me questions about how I relate to myself.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• How my understanding of Relating to Self keeps changing
• Relating to Self as being truly present to what is real in the moment
• Brutal honesty with the self as an act of kindness
• The gradual path of leaning into that honesty with oneself
• My light switch moment during his very first meditation retreat
• Practical thoughts on being more honest with oneself, how?
• Physical manifestations of not being entirely truthful
• Conversations in my mind with the parts of myself that represent others
• How do we improve our relationship with ourselves?
• Stories, tension, suffering, and compassion
• Self-compassion as a practice that improves compassion with others
• Giving protector parts new jobs, asking your demons what they need, the hero narrative of our parts, shadow work
• The biggest lies I've told myself over the years (juicy!)
• Tough love vs Brutal honesty
• Time as a relentless force for change
• The first time I set a boundary (spicy!)
• Boundaries with the self
• "We are processes", the boundaries exist to support us
• My desires for the next phase of my relationship with myself (juicy again!)

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Joachim's Musings

In these short-form solo podcast episodes, I share some of my thoughts, experiences, and insights.
This week, I speak about Story-based Desire vs. Erotic Aliveness and my experience at a temple night in Berlin.

I will also answer your questions. If you have any, just email me at joachim@relatingtoself.com

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 3 Feb 2023, I have a conversation with Max Stossel.

Max Stossel is an award-winning poet, filmmaker, and speaker, named by Forbes as one of the best storytellers of the year.
You can find him on his website: https://www.wordsthatmove.com/ and you can follow him on X/Twitter.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• The dangers of allowing rage to transform into control and manipulation
• The importance of accepting life's outcomes
• A contemplation of life after birth and the belief in reincarnation
• The impact of intense love and the perception of self-love
• Max's insights on self-discovery and self-acceptance
• The significance of trusting intuition
• Learning from past experiences
• Reflections on the impact of love in our lives
• Understanding the transformative power of love
• The importance of embracing life's uncertainties
• Exploring the role of self-love in personal growth and well-being

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 6 December 2022, I have a conversation with Renee.

Renee was a graphic designer and was burned out from that very high-status industry work. She then went into bodywork, spirituality, and coaching, and she became a polarity therapist. You can follow her on X/Twitter.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• Renee's journey of healing and self-discovery after burnout
• the significance of understanding yourself
• how our relationship with ourselves shapes our worldview and life
• how we treat ourselves affects how we allow others to treat us, and how we treat others
• redefining success
• Renee's pivotal spiritual experience and its impact
• the transformative power of a deeper connection with self and divine guidance
• the importance of introspection, meditation, and self-awareness
• accepting and understanding your emotions
• embracing struggle as part of personal growth

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 6 March 2023, I have a conversation with Theo.

Theo comes from a career in finance and has pivoted to exploring a path of self-healing and spirituality.
You can follow him on twitter/X and read more on his website untanglingself.com

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• Quitting a finance job to embark on a journey of self-discovery
• Emphasizing curiosity and wonder in exploring inner experiences
• Embracing discomfort as a catalyst for growth
• Cultural differences in mental health and their impact
• The role of the internet in self-exploration
• Significance of community and relationships in the healing process
• Importance of connecting with oneself and the world in a concrete way
• Mindfulness and communication in an embodied manner
• Journey of embodiment and letting go of thoughts
• Embracing emptiness as a concept from Buddhism
• Personal experience with IFS therapy and gratitude for support received
• Self-exploration as an ongoing process involving personal responsibility
• Benefits of exploring different parts of oneself during altered states

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 7 March 2023, I have a conversation with Victor.

Victor is in a transitional phase, learning more and more to follow his internal pull. He is also really into building a community of conscious creators, and hosts vibecafe.xyz. You can follow him on Twitter/X.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• Self-discovery as an evolving process
• Understanding mental processes and emotional triggers
• The importance of addressing conflicts and making changes
• Embracing uncertainty and following an internal compass
• Victor's journey of intentional and organic exploration
• Moving to Berlin and experiencing personal growth
• Resonance with certain people or concepts
• Exploring mindfulness and spaciousness
• Personal development arcs and choosing one's own path
• Questioning identities and narratives
• Embracing present-moment living
• Breaking societal expectations and redefining oneself
• Creating a supportive community and connecting with like-minded individuals

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 20 December 2022, I have a conversation with Andrew Rose.

Andrew builds social structures, co-living places, a university, and cities.
You can follow him on Twitter/X, and you can read his thoughts on Substack.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• Emotional resilience and the choice of feeling good
• Meta-questioning and self-reflection
• Identification with ego and its fluctuations
• Internal Family Systems (IFS) and parts work for self-navigation
• Writing practices for self-awareness and emotional processing
• Alexander Technique for bodily awareness and mindfulness
• The challenge of adult self-crafting and personal development
• The importance of examples and role models in personal growth
• Shadow work and the acceptance of unacknowledged self-part

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In this episode of Relating to Self, recorded on 9 Dec 2022, I have a conversation with Priya Rose.

Priya is a community organizer and co-founder of Fractal.
She's also an active contributor to tpot, so you can follow her on X/Twitter.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• Self-talk and personal growth.
• Influence of parental criticism on internal dialogue.
• Therapy and its role in developing a supportive internal voice.
• Internal Family Systems (IFS) as a concept.
• Importance of positive influences.
• Impact of co-living environments on authenticity and personal growth.
• Significance of honesty in building healthy relationships.
• Practices like gratitude, meditation, and introspection for self-improvement.
• Value of supportive communities during periods of depression.
• Forming deep friendships online.
• Caring and profound connections without knowledge of appearances or personal lives.
• Spiritual self-connection through practices like meditation, journaling, ecstatic dance, and weightlifting.

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In this episode of Relating to Self, I have a conversation with Tasshin.

Tasshin is a bodhisattva (one whose goal is awakening, in Buddhism) and an online pilgrim who strives to spread love, follow his curiosity, and empower others. You can follow him on X/Twitter.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• Spreading love and empowering others
• Significance of bodhisattva vows in Buddhism
• Telling a positive story about oneself and the world
• About death and the value of life
• Making a home out of moment-to-moment experiences
• Finding purpose versus creating identity
• Mathematics and its relevance
• Relationships with others
• Learning from people and stories
• Importance of being present and kind to oneself and others

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In this episode of Relating to Self, I have a conversation with Jessica Svenningson.

Jessica is an art + tech innovator, digital transformation designer, creative business + market strategist, digital heritage researcher, public speaker + educator, entrepreneur, and killer storyteller. And many other things. You can follow her on Twitter/X.

Topics mentioned in the episode:

• The importance of improving one's relationship with oneself.
• Self-connection, finding joy, and following intuition.
• Immersive artistic experiences and regenerative architecture and their influence on relating to self.
• The psychology and neurology of relating to self.
• Constant curiosity and love for trying new things.
• Eliminating what doesn't bring joy and self-discovery after leaving an unhealthy relationship.
• Embracing the "summer of yes" and engaging in diverse experiences to rediscover the self.
• Safety and the importance of having someone to rely on.
• Benefits of living in smaller cities with a sense of community.
• Challenges faced as a woman with autism and societal expectations.
• Art and being an artist as an expression of relating to self.

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