Sex for Saints

Sexual desire is much more complex than many of us are led to believe. Desire is multifaceted and must be examined from a biological, psychological, and sociological standpoint. Why do I talk about desire so often? Because a lack of desire is the number one thing that women come to me for help with. They tell me that their desire has just disappeared and they have no idea where it’s gone. So, let’s dive into what goes into desire and maybe how to get it back.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what we all want in our relationships and what that means to our relationships. So, today I’m going to share with you the four things that we all want in our sexual relationships. We may call them different things, but everyone wants essentially the same thing. I am also going to talk about what happens when these things we want aren’t happening in our sexual relationships. And what you can do about that. You see, the absence of these foundational values can lead to a host of challenges that impact both the marital and sexual aspects of a relationship. Let’s see what we can do about that!

I am so excited for you to hear this interview with Dr. Kelly Casperson. We talk about what you and your partner need to know about women’s hormones. We as women don’t get a lot of information about hormones in general but especially during perimenopause and menopause. Even if you’re not quite there yet, you are going to want to listen to what Dr. Kelly has to say because we will all go through this! This is an episode you are going to want to share with all of the women in your life.

Dr. Kelly Casperson is a urologic surgeon, author, sex educator, and top international podcaster whose mission is empowering women to live their best love lives. She combines education, humor, and candor in her podcast, You Are Not Broken, where she dismantles the myths people have learned and normalizes healthy, enjoyable sex worth desiring. For more information, follow Dr. Kelly on Instagram (@kellycaspersonmd), or visit kellycaspersonmd.com.

I know that some of us, both men and women, feel that female-centric sex is selfish. But it absolutely is not! Let’s talk about why women may not want to transition to a female-centric approach to sex and why men might not want to as well. But when it comes down to it, a female-centric approach to sex can be a transformative journey for couples, deepening their intimacy, connection, and satisfaction. Want to learn how? Listen in!

At first thought, money and sex may not seem to have a lot in common. But if you think about it, when you improve something about your relationship, it often extends to all of your relationship. That’s why I asked Ruth Liebel to join me on the podcast to talk about money. Ruth is an amazing financial coach that will help you see that we often come into our marriages with different ideas of what it means to be “good” with money. Listen to get some clarity about how you manage your money in your marriage, and how improving that part of your relationship will improve your sexual relationship as well.

Ruth Liebel (Lee-bull) is a financial coach who teaches Christians how to make decisions with their resources that improve their quality of life and support their values. She specializes in helping couples get on the same page, and in creating healthy boundaries around money. Too many lives, marriages, and families are short-changed, even destroyed, by financial chaos. The solutions to so many financial problems are simple and can become commonplace in our homes.

Ruth got her bachelor’s degree in family finance (debt free) and did her practicum in financial counseling. She has worked with domestic violence shelters, HUD, Head Start, churches, and non-profit organizations. She is a certified YNAB Budget Coach, completed Ramsey Solutions Master.

Coach Training, and was a Ramsey Preferred Coach the first two years of her coaching business. Ruth is madly in love with her husband of 17 years, and the biggest fan of her four kids. Her husband came from a very different financial culture than her, and it has been a long, diligent process to create a financial theology and plan that satisfies them both. She knows "good debt" does NOT feel good; vulnerability is scary; healthy boundaries are the difference between joy and

hell; and having somewhere safe to process your thoughts and options is a total game-changer. She absolutely loves her life now, and loves helping people create a life they love as well.

You can find her:

At her website: www.ruthliebelcoaching.com

On Instagram: @ruthliebel

And by emailing her: ruth@ruthliebelcoaching.com

Sex, intimacy, and personal growth are all tied together. And when your partner doesn’t want to grow sexually, but you do, it can cause a lot of conflict. It’s not uncommon to find yourself in a situation like this, so in this episode, I’m going to share with you three steps to take to understand the situation completely. I’ll even share with you what to say that may help the situation.

I recently was a guest on the Live Your Why podcast with Tammy Hill. I thought the episode was so good, I asked Tammy if I could share it with you as well. She was excited to share what we talked about with you too! So listen in as I share some parts of my story that you may not have heard yet, along with talking about what mature feminine sexuality is. And no, we’re not talking about seniors, but all of us. So, let’s talk about why we need mature feminine sexuality and how it actually helps us get closer to our Heavenly Parents. You’re going to love this episode!

Wow! Episode 300! I can hardly believe it! I remember nearly six years ago when I started this podcast that I could hardly imagine what 100 episodes would look like, let alone 300. So today's episode is a little different. I asked people to call or write in about an episode that was impactful for them. Join me as I share with you what they had to say. 

Have you ever been on a road trip and heard the words, “Are we there yet?” That person is just focused on the destination, not the journey itself. The same thing happens in our sexual relationships when we just focus on climax. Our world places so much emphasis on instant gratification that it is easy to let that thought into the bedroom. Are we relishing in all of the minute details and interactions that can lay claim on our body and our heart or are we like the kids in the backseat who ask over and over “are we there yet?” In this episode, let’s take a look at how we focus on our sexual journey, rather than just the destination. I will share with you seven key elements that are crucial for every relationship and contribute to a fulfilling and meaningful experience.

I have had a lot of questions lately about how to safely have anal sex so I’m going to answer those questions here. Anal sex is often intriguing for many couples, and while there seems to be quite a bit of desire to do it from one or both partners, there’s often a reluctance, which is understandable. So whether you’re a curious individual or a couple looking to add something new to your repertoire, this episode will guide you through the ins and outs of anal pleasure, focusing on safety and enjoyment. Join me for this step by step guide.

We are almost at episode 300 and I would love to do something a little bit different and special for this episode.  I would love it if you were willing to call in and leave me a voice message with something that was particularly impactful for you.  My goal is to have a few that I can air with Episode 300.

Call 385-424-1032

This is a number that goes straight to voicemail, so you won’t be bothering me and can call anytime.

You can leave your name or do it anonymously.

Just share something that has been particularly impactful for you and if you can what Episode # and the title it was. It can be really short or a couple of minutes long.  This would mean so much to me, so thank you!  The deadline to submit this is Monday, January 15, 2024.

I want you to prioritize sex in the new year. I hear from clients all the time that they just don’t have time to have sex. That’s because you’re not making it a priority. Why have more sex? Because it helps you have a healthier and more fulfilling connection with your partner. Here are my practical tips on how to make sex a priority in the new year! You are going to LOVE number 7!

We are almost at episode 300 and I would love to do something a little bit different and special for this episode.  I would love it if you were willing to call in and leave me a voice message with something that was particularly impactful for you.  My goal is to have a few that I can air with Episode 300.

Call 385-424-1032

This is a number that goes straight to voicemail, so you won’t be bothering me and can call anytime.

You can leave your name or do it anonymously.

Just share something that has been particularly impactful for you and if you can what Episode # and the title it was. It can be really short or a couple of minutes long.  This would mean so much to me, so thank you!  The deadline to submit this is Monday, January 15, 2024.

We have often talked about spontaneous desire vs responsive desire on my podcast. But today, I want to go a little deeper into the responsibility you have if you happen to have responsive desire. Often women, and some men, have responsive desire, but that doesn’t mean that their partner is always in charge of initiating. You can have a high sex drive and even be the higher desire partner with responsive desire. Let me show you how!

Clients will often tell me that they don’t need to use lube because there isn’t anything wrong with them. This could not be further from the truth! There are many things that will affect your natural lubrication, including stress or dehydration, so having some lube you love at your fingertips will only make sex better. In this episode, we’re going to talk about why we use lube, how to choose the right lube and what lubes I like the best. You should be using lube! Here’s why.

Some of my favorites:

Coconu carries my favorite water-based and oil-based lube.  Their hemp infused oil-based is a favorite of mine and can enhance orgasms.  Use the code Amanda at checkout for 15% off.

Uberlube is another favorite of mine.  This one is silicone based.  It has vitamin E, is so silky and soft, feels good on my skin, and is long lasting.  It is also flavorless.

Sutil is recommended if you have had a decrease in estrogen levels, either with menopause or breastfeeding.  

Other brands I’ve either tried or heard good things about: Sliquid, Aloe Cadabra, Waterslide, YES, and The Butters.

This holiday season, can I suggest a new tradition? Giving, and receiving, sexy holiday gifts! When we’re thinking about gifts for our spouse, we often think about what they need or want, and while that’s great, I think as a couple, it’s important to use this time to give each other something that helps turn up the heat and the desire in the bedroom. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It can be as simple as a sexy playlist. Join me as I share with you 6 ideas on how to have a sexy holiday this year!

I have a friend who has 7 kids, all born in September. That means that they were all conceived around Christmas. We’ve often joked about this with her, but it turns out that they aren’t the only ones who get especially horny during the holiday season. In fact, more babies are conceived in December than any other month! Why is this? That’s what we’re talking about in the episode. There are some biological factors, some psychological factors, as well as some social and environmental factors that are playing a role in this, but whatever the reason, it’s a great time of year to connect sexually with your spouse!

I’m speaking with therapist Jeff Lundgren, again, today about internal family systems. It’s a therapeutic modality that he uses in his practice that I find fascinating. If you’ve ever seen the movie Inside Out, you’ve had an introduction to this type of therapy. So, in this episode, we talk about where the internal family systems came from, and most importantly, how it can help us in our sexual lives. I invite you to join us for this fascinating look into our minds.

Jeff Lundgren is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and holds a certificate as a Psychedelic-Assisted Therapist Provider. Jeff is a member of the Mormon Mental Health Association and the owner of a private group practice in Millcreek - Oak Branch Counseling. Jeff lives in Salt Lake City. He has a passion for the outdoors, music, autocross, and the joys of fatherhood.

At times in my coaching career, I’ve been asked by clients about the use of psychedelics in sex therapy. I know that this may be a controversial topic, but I think it’s important to be given all of the information so you can make the decision for yourself. I am excited to have Jeff Lundgren on the podcast today to talk about it. This interview is fascinating! We talk about the history of psychedelics and their use in therapy. And Jeff shares some success stories he has witnessed in clients who used psychedelics to heal sexual dysfunction. Even if you’ve never been curious, I would still encourage you to listen to this episode to learn more about how to heal dysfunction in your life.

Jeff Lundgren is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and holds a certificate as a Psychedelic-Assisted Therapist Provider. Jeff is a member of the Mormon Mental Health Association and the owner of a private group practice in Millcreek - Oak Branch Counseling. Jeff lives in Salt Lake City. He has a passion for the outdoors, music, autocross, and the joys of fatherhood.

Most of us will say that our marriage is our most important relationship.  Yet we often let things get in the way of making it great and our marriage gets put on the back burner.  Whether that is kids, work, hobbies, or church callings, we don’t put enough into our relationship.  And that relationship is barely surviving instead of thriving.  And when our relationship suffers, often so does our sexual relationship. So in this episode, let’s talk about 11 ways to make a marriage thrive. We’ll discuss how these strategies can help both your marriage relationship and your sexual relationship because we often talk of sex as a need, but it’s not a need like air, food or water is a need. But it is a need for the thriving marriage that we want.

I think we all want to have an intimate marriage, but we often miss one important step in achieving that. To have an intimate marriage, we must understand and make room for both partners’ wants and desires, without judgment or shame. But what I often see happening is that one partner thinks their wants and desires matter more than the other partner and they expect their partner to accommodate them. Or, I also see that one partner suppresses their wants and desires or preferences to accommodate their partners. This can create resentment, anxiety, and guilt. So, why do we do this and what can we do about it? That’s what we’re talking about in this episode.

Have you ever thought about how food can affect your sex life? That’s what I’m discussing today with my guest and fellow life coach Lisa Salisbury. Thinking about what you put in your body and what you want from your body are important. But, let me be clear, we’re not talking about counting calories or macros or anything like that. We’re talking about listening to your body and knowing that if you’d like to have sex tonight, it might be better to not finish your meal and be overly full. I’m so excited for you to hear this interview. It is a great one!

Lisa Salisbury is a life coach for health and weight loss for women who want to lose weight without counting and calculating their food. As a former chronic dieter, Lisa knows what it’s like to  be all-consumed with everything that goes into your mouth. It was only when she learned the tools and skills through coaching that she was able to drop the dieting obsession and drop her weight! 

Lisa is a certified Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition and a certified Life Coach and Weight Loss Coach through The Life Coach School.  She also has a BS from Brigham Young University in Health and Human Performance.  

She takes her clients through a 12 week program designed to help them eat well, think well and live well. When you learn the skill of paying attention to your body and losing weight, you’ll be surprised at how it translates into other areas of life. Craving chocolate & craving more instagram? Same solutions. Avoiding vegetables/protein & avoiding your to-do list? Same solutions. You can hear many of these tools on her podcast Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well. 

You can find Lisa on:

Her website: wellwithlisa.com

Instagram: @well_with_lisa

Her podcast: Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well

And download her go to meals guide at: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/625f1d3d96808aece7b0ee33