So, Is He Captain America?

Hold on to your necks kids, its time for, Blade: Trinity.
And sadly, this isn't an episode of Buffy, The Vampire Slayer.  Think "The Matrix" with bloodsuckers. 

How did Parker Posey track down "Dracula"?

Where is this movie located?

What is Blade a hybrid of?

Where is our Stan Lee cameo?

How did they get to the blood bank?

Was Triple H a stunt coordinator?

Where does this movie fall in the timeline of Wesley Snipe's movie vs jail career?

Ryan Reynolds was born with those abs, amiright?

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Someone please tell us what happened to The New Mutants?  When will/did it release?

Welcome to Jess's plot flow chart.  Hold on to your capes kids as we tackle a movie from the bucket.

So many Harvey Dent questions.... 

We can all agree this well scene makes no sense, right?  How does a lateral jump get you out?

How much money does Bane have?

How big are our sewers?

What is Robin's real name?

And most importantly, what is the timeline of this movie?

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For your subway listening pleasure - it's book report time!

For this podcast we need a writer, a cape steamer, a director, and a stage manager.

How old is Zendaya?  How does she managed to look 14 as well as 35?

How old are the people who blip-ed?  So how old is Peter Parker?

Jess's knowledge is power!

What is the Daily Bugle?

deepfakes, use it for good people.

We are all in love with Aunt May, Happy.

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It has been way to long friends.... 

So many questions, so many X-Men.

Who is the blue smoke guy....  and the speedy blonde guy... and Gambit?   And don't get us started on the Fantastic 4...  Four??

Did seatbelts exist in 1975?  More importantly, did people use them?

How are they breathing in space?  Where is the zero gravity?  Duct tapes works in space???  How??

Remember when Kelsey Grammer was an X-Men?

Did the X-Men story line change?  Did they go rogue?  Is that another X-Men?

Space glitter for everyone!

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Much like everything else we get wrong in this podcast, this is in fact Episode 24, not 23.

We don't think we need to tell you there are spoilers in this episode, right?  Spoiler - We loved it.

#DontSpoilTheEndgame

It's Hellboy!  Hellboy!  Brandy is so excited.... and then she realizes she is watching the new Hellboy and becomes sad.  Jess has just remained angry through the evening.

How Hellboy is a descendant of King Arthur and that makes him the king of England, we are calling all kinds of bullshit and a big WTF?

Lobster guy - this cannot be a real character, right?

These vampires do not sparkle and the movie lacks because of it.

Abe Sapien is NOT the same guy in Shape of Water. 

What is Daniel Dae Kim?  A were-jaguar?  and what was that accent?

The best thing about this movie is the soundtrack, according to Brandy.  Jess votes for nothing.

On a scale from Darkman to Wonder Woman, where are you guys placing it?  We voted low.  Very low.

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It's time for the version of Big you have all been waiting for - Shazam!  Sorry kids, no Tom Hanks in this one.

How tall is Zachary Levi?  And are those muscles real..??  You know, just asking for a friend.

Who are all of his foster siblings?  And how on earth do they all go to the same school?  Those bullies, they have to be like 20, right?

Why doesn't Grandpa allow toys at his house at Christmas?  This movie is basically all his fault.

When do we get Freddie's Origin Story?

Go, go Shazam Power Rangers!

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What makes International Women's day even better - Captain Marvel! 

Hitting you over the head with the 1990's! 

Brandy should really take notes.

Nick Fury has TWO eyes!

In case you weren't aware, Jude Law is attractive.

But is he human?  Is Captain Marvel a human?

Seriously, what is a Tesseract? 

Everyone thinks they are the good guy, most of them are wrong. 

Goose forever.

I know I have seen it, I have no idea what happens.

That pretty much sums up The Avengers, friends.

On a scale from WW to Judge Dredd, this falls somewhere in the middle.

You are welcome for the worst plot summary ever.

Is there a Nick Fury Origin Story?

Have we already seen this movie?

What is Phase 2?

Stop using machine guns on non humans, good guys.

You should have left it in the ocean.

Shawarma for everyone. 

It's finally time for Jason Momoa.... I mean, Aquaman!!

This podcast should just be renamed "Many Things Wrong"

On a scale of Judge Dredd to Wonder Woman, we give Aquaman something in the middle.

Raise of hands please, who is still unclear about the Steppenwolf incident?  Did this happen at Woodstock?

So many EXTREME close ups!

Why are seahorses dicks in this world?

Why does Patrick Wilson's mask move?  #unsubscribe

Why are they all wearing shoes?

You may call us Jess & Brandy, but we prefer Ocean Masters. 

New mics, who dis?

Bear with us friends, we are working out some kinks.

* SPOILERS **SPOLIERS ** SPOILERS **SPOLIERS *

Brandy does an epic book read to a very amused Jess as we hit a screening (!!) this time to see Spider-Man: Into The Spider-verse!

The biggest spoiler of them all - we liked this one.

Watch Spider Ben Affleck, Ballerina Spider-Woman, Grafitti Spider-Man, Darkman Spider-Man, Spider Anime, and Spider-Pig take on the evil King Pin to get them all back to their own time zones! 

Is Uncle Aaron is Spider Person, or just a henchman?  What was his name?

Where did that pesky spider come from anyway?

Can King Pin actually fit in the car that is driving him around?

Yeah for TWO female Post Supervisors!

Thanks Producer's Guild of America! 

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That's all folks!

We have gone back to the bucket!

Gather around everyone - it is time for Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol2.

How can anyone resist Baby Groot?

This movie has an amazing weapon in the form of an arrow,  weird yellow sex mannequins, Howard the Duck, sexy 80's Kurt Russell, fighting sisters, valuable batteries, a Sovereign fleet, and the greatest movie title sequence of all time.  (According to Brandy)

Come for the one liners, stay for all of the feels. 

Who is going to start sponsoring our movie viewing?

Or invite us to all of the premiers? 

You can't argue with Looking Glass.... Brandy, You are a Fine Girl

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Once upon a time... a fable about steroids and 'roid rage.

Venom - We paid real movie prices for this one friends, and we want our money back.

Just like Michelle Williams, we all deserve better than this movie.

So many logic holes!

How long has that little lady been walking?

Who's is funnier Hulk or Venom?

How are there NO cameras in that lab?

Jenny Slate's character is the dumbest doctor ever.

Is Eddie a hero?

Venom gets a heart like the scarecrow?

F U lifeforms.

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Where was your September edition of SIHCA?  Everyone blame Brandy.  And Germany.  And Amsterdam. 

Hold on to your hats, it's Captain America: Civil War!

How long IS this movie?

What is the time line in this universe?

Who is Scarlett Johansson's character?  She can only punch?  REALLY?

What came first Vision or the stone?

Is anyone going to hook up in this movie?

Every planet should have a Jeff Goldblum. 

We still hate you Darkman.

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It's time to go back to the Bucket, and no one is happy about it.

It's time for Lucky Episode 13! 

Break out the bug spray as we sit down and tackle #AntMan and the #Wasp.  Where is a scientist when you need one?

Clearly a lot happened in the first Ant-Man movie.  It's no surprise, we have no idea what it was.

How much Ant knowledge does anyone have anyway?

What does SHIELD even stand for?  spoiler alert, our guesses are wrong.

Are the ants really big or is the lab really small?

How does Michelle Pfeiffer never age?  (in real life and in particle land)

We blame Thanos for everything.

quantum. quantum. science, science, quantum.

At this point do we need to say spoilers??  You have all seen it by now, right?

Turn up the amazing soundtrack, we are watching Deadpool 2 with all of it's smugness.

Jess has a surprise for Brandy that almost kills her.

Questions:

Why can't Deadpool die?

Where did not Jonah Hex come from?  Is he Magnetic - or is that the name of an Xmen character?

We love kiwis!

When is a Domino spin off?

Why can Jess recognize Taylor Swifts cats?

Thanks for putting Ryan Reynolds in wet tshirt, Marvel.

Get well Stan Lee!

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So many Avengers, so many failed Star Wars characters, so much time in this movie.

With one gauntlet to rule them all, Jess & Brandy tackle the mammoth that is Avengers Infinity War and try to figure out who everyone is.

Who is the non Olsen twin?

How many people are in this movie?

Is everyone really dead?

Is Samuel L Jackson only featured in end credit scenes?

Stop damaging Thor's face Marvel, it's bad for business.

Let's all use our made up names from here on out.

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What is a Jonah Hex, Brandy may have asked last time?  Sadly, we found out.  Break out your imaginary map of Washington DC, friends - it is time for Jonah Hex!

Jess's heads explodes when she finds out a woman directed Punisher: War Zone.

Brandy learns "The Aughts" is not a comedy troupe.

What are these military grade cannon balls exactly?

WTF Red Clay?  and crows?

He sees dead people?  Is this an early version of Sixth Sense?  

Brandy is still missing her Dukes of Hazzard lunch box.

Seriously Josh Brolin - how do you eat?

Get lost or get dead, everyone.  Horse machine guns for the win.

Comment, questions, concerns - find us here:   Twitter   Facebook Instagram  Email

What is a Jonah Hex, Brandy may have asked last time?  Sadly, we found out.  Break out your imaginary map of Washington DC, friends - it is time for Jonah Hex!

Jess's heads explodes when she finds out a woman directed Punisher: War Zone.

Brandy learns "The Aughts" is not a comedy troupe.

What are these military grade cannon balls exactly?

WTF Red Clay?  and crows?

He sees dead people?  Is this an early version of Sixth Sense?  

Brandy is still missing her Dukes of Hazzard lunch box.

Seriously Josh Brolin - how do you eat?

Get lost or get dead, everyone.  Horse machine guns for the win.

Comment, questions, concerns - find us here:   Twitter   Facebook Instagram  Email