Tell Me About Your Kids

Is your child’s behavior more than just annoying? Is it a mystery with seemingly no clues? Are you worried his development is off track? Is she having difficulty performing at the level of her peers? Do think he needs more support than you can give? Do you get angry when she “never listens”? Tune in to hear clinical psychologist Dr. Lara Kroodsma break down the various tests available to us now to learn how your child’s brain works and understand his unique development. Behavior is usually the child’s effort to solve a problem. Testing can help the child learn how to make that problem easier, and a diagnosis, if given, can be a guide to help children strategize their challenges using their strengths. 

 
Questions for Dr. Lara? Go to her website - https://morningstarpsych.com

 A good follow-up to this podcast with Dr. Kroodsma is episode #120 aired 11/10/22 — Community Pieces # 7: How getting an evaluation for your child can boost self-esteem.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook on Audible

When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

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Earth Mama Organics
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Camilla is mother to four children ranging from 18 to 25. She has raised her children with a connected approach and is here to tell the results at the stage of launching into adulthood. Here’s what it means to raise kids with no punishment (that includes unnatural consequences) but only kindness, respect, firmness and focus on relationship above all else. If your fear is—How do they learn to do what you want? They’ll be entitled, disrespectful people. They won’t learn that real life has consequences—then this is the listen for you. Camilla has begged the question over and over: What’s more important being right or being connected?

 You can reach Camilla at:

Myparentingsolutions.com

Camilla@myparentingsolutions.com

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook on Audible

When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=

Kate’s 2 yr. (her third child) needs to wear glasses. Ever tried to get a toddler to do what she must but what she hates? This is a problem that goes on throughout development—when you have to insure your child does something she refuses. Finding the balance between motivating and loosening up is the only way to stay out of power struggles and the only hope of gaining cooperation. Listen in to learn how to say no without saying no and to empower your child to begin to take responsibility for herself.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook on Audible

When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=

 Anne is the mother of two tween boys 11 and 12. Being an Integrity kid, Brooks, the younger, is reacting to years of blame and punishments from parents who wish he was more like his brother. His defenses arise when he perceives that his brother James has an easier, happier life. His natural aggression has turned angry and violent. He wants to punish back. Gratitude is out of his reach. Listen in to learn what is underneath Brooks’ retribution and how empathy can change everything.

Other podcasts about Integrity and Harmony kids:

Episode 12 – Oct. 6, ’20 The Orchid Child and the Dandelion Child Pt. 2

Episode 13 - Oct. 13, ’20 Stubborn Kid, Frustrated Parents

Episode 34 – March 18, 21 The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Most but Wrong Kind of Attention

Episode 40 – April 29, 21 Controlling the Fight

Episode 49 – July 1, ’21 “Parenting him is like a full-time job”

Episode 73 – Dec. 16, ’21 “This behavior has got to stop!”

Episode 89 – April 7, 22 Dealing with Emotion Explosions

Episode 99 – June 16, ’22 “Why don’t I ever get to decide?” Helping an Integrity Kid Feel Heard

Episode 124 – Dec. 15, ’23 When It Feels Like You’ve Lost Control without Punishment

Also

Community Pieces: Episode #25, Jan. 7, 2021 – When Conflict between Parents Needs the Big Conversation


Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook on Audible
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=

For 5 yr. old Aiko, “everything goes in really big and comes out really big”, says his mom, Janneke. Part of that ‘really big’ comes out at his 10 yr. old brother when Aiko’s jealousy rears up. Calling Noa a dummy over and over has become a habit for Aiko, and sensitive Noa takes it as fact. Breaking the habit requires a new frame for Aiko—instead being told again and again that it’s not ok. Listen through to hear Bonnie’s Gremlin exercise which can help that reframing process—that, and no more blame.

Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=

 Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It

We're ending 2022 with an episode from the archives. We figured it's always a good time to get a lesson on relationship. Tracy’s children are not too young to begin this important process. Most parents naturally get hung up on what is important to teach and get stuck in the minutia of daily life and chaos with young kids. We forget that the main thing we want our children to learn is to be respectful and considerate. Tracy gets a reminder of this important aspect of parenting and how her issue with getting toys picked up blocks her needed focus on developing a mutually respectful relationship.

Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=

After my interview on Safe Home Podcast with Beth Syverson, I decided it would make a perfect puzzle piece, because it turned out to be a great overview of connected parenting. I discuss the principles of connective parenting and how they were developed thru learning about myself. The primary focus is on the relationship between parent and child and the responsibilities of the parent. There is also a great description of the Integrity and Harmony children, terms we use a lot on this podcast and the work of Dr. Thomas Boyce on the Orchid and Dandelion children from which my terms evolved. I also define behavior, where it comes from, and the iceberg model which illustrates how one’s emotions provoke the behavior.

Safe Home Podcast with Beth Syverson is for struggling teens and their families finding their healing path. 18yo Joey and his moms Beth and Jan share from the heart their experiences and struggles with addiction and mental health.


Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

🚨 Great offers for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=

From backtalk to “drive-by hitting”, to stepping on his baby brother, four year old Pacey is trying to tell his parents, Lauren and Matt, about his very complicated feelings. Having been brought up by authoritarian parents who used physical punishment, Lauren and Matt are working hard to shift their mindset to a connective approach but still see Pacey as intentionally trying to get their negative attention. Listen in and learn how to interpret the information provided by a child’s behavior and the messages parents unintentionally send with punitive tactics. 

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents.


Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

• Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

• Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=

Amy and Rick have two children, 7 and 4 ½. While Rick is quite laid back, Amy is the one dealing with an often debilitating amount of stress and overwhelm when the kids are demanding. She either withdraws or gives in to avoid having to deal with the situation at hand. Her go-to is, “I don’t have time for this,” which really means she can’t deal with the pain that their behavior triggers from her childhood experiences.


Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=

James and Shan have four kids from 15 to 7. Their 15 yo has gotten quite far off track and their 13 yo Harmony son is experiencing the fallout. He tries to take the reins when his parents don’t stop the madness and chaos with his sister that causes him distress. They try to tell him it’s not his responsibility, but he has to do something to help himself. Listen in to hear some ways they can honor his frustration and help him deal in the moment.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=

Betrayal, isolation, anger, and dismissal plague Carly, mother of three children, after discovering the family secret everyone else was in on but her. At 39, Carly accidentally learned that her father was not her biological father. Her mother’s attempts to get Carly to get over it and move on, along with her refusal to get the help she needs, leave Carly hanging off the cliff feeling uncared for and alone.

Trust has been decimated. Their relationship, once thought to be close, is in peril. How do everyone’s roles readjust? How does Carly keep her children’s beloved grandmother in the picture when forgiveness is not in the cards? How do you bring in a new grandfather the children never knew? How does Carly find what she needs?

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
 https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=

We all want our children to be able to reach their potential. Along with a connected relationship, many, many children have neuro-diverse needs that affect their daily learning. When your child is identified with a learning difference, the question of evaluating may be raised. What then? As scary as it can be to get a diagnosis for your child, what’s best for the long-haul development is awareness of strengths and weaknesses so success is assured. Educational consultant, Shannon McNamara, helps parents understand and implement evaluations of their child’s specific differences so the child finds the best fit for their capabilities. Shannon helps answer all your questions about finding an evaluator, the benefits of an evaluation, and what she can add to the process to help find ways for your child to shine alongside any challenges.

 Shannon can be found at: 

Curiouskidseducational.com

And contacted personally at:

shannon@curiouskidseducational.com

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

April has had a long and close relationship with her now 16-year-old. Yet, for the past year, since he has been in a significant relationship, he doesn’t want to hear one word from his mother about it. He tells her to stop “inserting herself where she shouldn’t”, that he doesn’t need parenting, among other edgy remarks that have left her hurting. Listen in while Bonnie and April pull apart what is possible to understand where he might be coming from and determine the best route to follow now.

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount
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Here’s the link for Earth Mama Organics - 
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

Meltdowns in kids any age are tough. We think they’re bad and must end and that children need to learn to control themselves, certainly after five or six, and not be subject to meltdowns. A meltdown is your signal of your child’s pent-up unexpressed emotions that need to come out. Ever had a “good cry”? You feel better afterwards, right? Listen in to hear why meltdowns should be allowed at any age, how to approach them and see them as a good thing.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Kristen, mom to boys 8 and 11, gets triggered by what she considers stupid and unnecessary squabbles. Her anger erupts when the boys’ bickering disrupts the harmony she expects in her family. But it’s not about the bickering, it’s about Kristen’s fears about the bickering. Kristen takes full responsibility for the family dynamics and believes it is her responsibility to get to harmony. The family disruption she imagines is her problem, not the boys’. Roots into her past shed light on her sister’s disruption to their family. Learn how Kristen finds what she needs to drop her unrealistic expectation and to defuse her button.

🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 

Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 
 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

Rachel is in turmoil over the negative energy from her 6 year old. When he’s not screaming at his sister, Ben admits he feels like nobody loves him. It all started when his sister was born four years ago. He immediately showed signs of aggression toward her. He still dumps his deep resentment on her with harsh name-calling. “Did I birth a sociopath?” Rachel feared when her reasoning with him didn’t work. Listen in for lots of Bonnie’s suggestions with tools to help Rachel help her son feel heard and more important in their family.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

Bonnie and Adam have an in-depth discussion about the ins and outs (pun intended) of “the sex talk”—the optimal time to have it with your kids, and why honesty is always the best policy. The talk can be really tough for parents who feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. Too often parents wait until embarrassment is high on both sides, so it never happens. Enter the internet. Embarrassment gets in the way of providing good, healthy, honest information about perfectly normal things that happen to our bodies. When we normalize the whole experience, chances are children will be far more responsible when the time comes. 

A few books to help you initiate talking to your kids about sex:

Where Did I Come From by Peter Mayle

A Child is Born and How Was I Born, both by Lennart Nilsson

Happy Birthday!, It’s Perfectly Normal, and It’s So Amazing by Robie Harris, Michael Emberley

Mommy Laid an Egg by Babette Cole

What’s the Big Secret: Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys by Laurie Krasny Brown and Mark Brown

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

Frannie and her husband have four children 7 and under. Frannie is getting a handle on not pushing her food values onto her kids but sometimes she feels like she’s “dying on the inside” while biting her tongue. She fears the influence from outside the bubble of her kitchen, where she can control, which leads her to feeling out of control of her children in many areas. Bonnie discusses the important difference between influencing our children as opposed to controlling them.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

For links to all Bonnie's material

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

Kelly and Kory have been hard at work to recognize, acknowledge, and stop the trauma they experienced as children. The messages they learned about themselves dug in and led to the kneejerk, in the heat of the moment, reactions they hate with their three children. They are learning that connection is the path forward.

 The terms Integrity and Harmony are used often in this podcast by regular listeners. To learn more about what these terms mean, listen to some of these other episodes:

Episode 12 – Oct. 6, ’20 The Orchid Child and the Dandelion Child Pt. 2

Episode 13 - Oct. 13, ’20 Stubborn Kid, Frustrated Parents

Episode 34 – March 18, 21 The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Most but Wrong Kind of Attention

Episode 40 – April 29, 21 Controlling the Fight

Episode 49 – July 1, ’21 “Parenting him is like a full-time job”

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com

Kat has had it with her two rambunctious boys interrupting, taking charge, and monopolizing conversations. As well as many tips for interrupting kids, Bonnie shows Kat why she needs to hold onto her energy and stop expecting her boys to “give her the room”. Instead of thinking they are taking her energy, Kat can take responsibility for herself and be better able to set limits. Her childhood plays a big part in how much she deserves her energy.

 Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com