The Anxious Love Coach

My most "meta" episode yet...

If your suffering about your relationship is caused by comparisons to illusions (rose-colored memories of your ex, Disney, Tiktok), then can we flip the dynamic on its head and re-invigorate the relationship by using illusion to our advantage?

Warning: I'm about to ruin attraction for you in this episode.

**Upcoming: Sex Anxiety Clinic with Shayna Hiller - A virtual masterclass to awaken pleasure, and release shame and dread in the bedroom: March 14, 2024 at 2pm PST/5pm EST. Register here.

Ask me anything on Wisio: www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

4:55 - Falling for the illusion of your partner

13:00 - Finding a partner that challenges your unconsciousness

16:35 - Two ways to improve your sex life

22:55 - Our sex anxiety clinic

If you've ever experienced dread around making love due to the "ick," pain, anxiety, shame, or being too tired, this episode is for you! I'm excited to introduce a dear friend and mentor of mine, who is also a trained Tao Tantric Priestess, Integrative Nutrition Coach, and Yoga Teacher. Her name is Shayna Hiller. In this episode, we will discuss the causes of dread around sex, as well as what you can do to start looking forward to sex especially if it's gotten stale in the bedroom. You're not alone; No, you're not broken, and no, you're not necessarily with the wrong partner if you're not feeling turned on by their mere presence!

Register for the Sex Anxiety Clinic: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/sexanxietyclinic

To apply for Shayna's retreat and/or training: www.embodiedwisdomretreat.com or Shayna's website www.shaynahiller.com

Next ALC Patreon community call: Saturday, March 2nd at 9am PST/12pm EST: www.patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach.com

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Shayna Hiller @Shaynahiller

Time Stamps:

6:52 Shayna’s long-term celibacy in her twenties

12:43  Clearing sexual trauma through the tantric arts

19:51  Inspiring your partner to be their best selves

26:34  Deciding that you don’t like sex, when the reality is that you dislike the sex you are having

30:21  How stress leads to anxiety in the bedroom

37:10  Normalizing the ebbs and flows in your relationship and your sex life

38:30  Scheduling sex

46:15  What to do when you dread having sex with your healthy, loving partner

1:05:00 Sex Anxiety Masterclass on March 14th 2pm PST

1:11:12 You are wired for pleasure

1:14:43 Shayna’s Embodied Wisdom Retreat

An underrated skill in the path of overcoming relationship anxiety: reclaiming softness, befriending anxiety, and learning to trust and follow glimmers of joy. This episode was so tender and beautiful it made me weepy. I am very grateful to present to you this episode with Jessica Fawn, yoga and tantra teacher. We spoke about seeing anxiety as a profound messenger for healing, and learning to nurture it— and what that can look like in the context of partnership.

Also, I will be joining her Temple membership, so see you there 🙂

Temple is Jessica Fawn's online school for women's softness & sensuality. Memberships start at 15$ per month. Doors open March 25-28th.

The daily schedule includes goddess tantra, art therapy, archetypal work, moon rituals, sensual dance, and self-love cultivation.

To read more about Temple: www.intothetemple.com/temple-school

Special gift for Anxious Love Coach Podcast listeners: receive 10% OFF on all plans: use the coupon code SISTERLOVE

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Jessica Fawn @jessicafawn_

Time Stamps:

4:00 - Jessica’s journey through anxiety and depression

8:40 - The power of embracing your anxiety

15:20 - What does “softness” mean in the feminine context?

19:00 - Working with a dysregulated nervous system from an embodiment perspective

30:45 - Jessica’s Temple program

If you've experienced profound healing and liberation from relationship anxiety, you may have felt the desire to pass this transformation on to others. If that's you, you're going to want to give this a listen and hear what it's like to be on the other side as a practitioner, and what it takes to hold outstanding healing space for others. Also, my dearest friend is hosting the first practitioner program of its kind that I've seen. I highly endorse this and recommend you join.

Wisio (my "Ask Nat" service): www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach - use the code LOVE2024 for 10% off through 2/20/24

Patreon: www.patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach - Next group meditation + coaching call Saturday, March 2nd 9am PST/12pm EST

For the practitioner program:

Waitlist link: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/practitioner-training

You can also email Chelsea - chelsea@healingembodied.com

Upcoming free event for those interested: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/hangout

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Chelsea Joy Horton @Healingembodied

Time Stamps:

8:00  Chelsea and Natalie’s paths into relationship anxiety and embodiment work

12:05 Downsides of working in the world of therapy

18:30 How Chelsea’s current work differs from traditional therapy

38:15 Creating a “human first” business

45:00 Chelsea’s practitioner training program

Two things are true: 1) I am unqualified to speak on ERP and OCD and 2) I am sharing my thoughts about ERP for those that still want to hear them even though I am unqualified.

What is ERP (Exposure & Response Prevention)? How helpful is it for those with relationship anxiety? What are its strengths and limitations? In this episode, I'll share my thoughts on this treatment.

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is Sunday, February 11th at 8am PST/11am EST.

https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

5:04 What is ERP (exposure response therapy)?

9:34  The dangers of disassociating

13:00  What is polarity work?

20:00 Compassionate self-inquiry

My beloved Aunt Diane sent me some tips and I don't gatekeep. Listen up!

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged starting January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Hey! I'm testing out a new mic, so bear with me. 😉

If you tend to compare your partner to other people in real life or online, this episode is for you! I used to struggle with this a lot, but these tools have become second nature to me now and both my husband and I are much happier and more in love than ever.

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged starting January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

3:50 Grieving the lives that you were unable to live

4:40 Tips to stop comparing your relationship to those of others

13:40 Both Feet In - Abridged

So many clients of mine feel ashamed when they experience a crush while in partnership. It’s a highly charged, delicate topic! You’re not alone, and you’re not a bad partner. If you’ve experienced this, I’d like to give you some tools to navigate it ethically while also honoring your humanness. I’ll be covering 5 tips to get you from freaking out, to getting under the surface of your crush, to using it to enhance your relationship with yourself and maybe even your loved one.

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged starting January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

3:50 Allowing the fantasy of the crush

5:30 What happens in your mind is private

6:40 Who we perceive ourselves to be in the fantasy

9:15 Grieving your unlived lives

12:10 Working with the tension between opposites

15:20 Acknowledging what is going right in your relationship

Trigger warning: this episode is a story. It is chock-full of triggers, pain, grief, mentions of death, blood, and gore. If you've experienced miscarriage and there are some sore spots and tenderness, I might wait until you've gotten enough support to grieve before listening to this. In this episode, I share a recent loss, and how I've coped with it through ritual, embodiment, and dark humor. I'll also share the incredible things it taught me about love, loss, and letting go...

This may not be a "relationship anxiety" episode, but for those of you who are willing to traverse with me to a darker, messier place, I'm hopeful you'll gain metaphorical, transferable lessons on self-trust from a story where I go deeper than I've ever been able to go before... you may find it applies to you deeply still if you have ever loved.

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged staring January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

8:15 - Finding out that I was pregnant

13:15 - Dealing with my miscarriage

30:04 - Surrendering to and trusting the universe in the midst of fear

48:00 - My feelings after the miscarriage

1:00:01 - Gratitude as a response to adversity

I entered my relationship "knowing" Preston was the one... but then, years in, I stopped knowing anymore! In this episode, I speak to the younger version of myself that was struggling horribly with relationship anxiety. Some of you are in this place and I want to remind you that A) you're not alone, and B) you don't need to suffer with this forever. There are tools to give you clarity and support you with your doubts and fears.

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

P.S. Thanks so much for your support after my last episode... I am feeling much better. I plan to speak on my experience more in a separate episode. But for now... I'm so grateful for my life and want to keep going.

Also, I tried to make a shorter episode and failed 😄 OH WELL

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

In this episode, I'm sharing a vulnerable story and a recent personal loss... and what it has taught me. I want to share how loss, pain, grief, and disappointment are portals to the divine... if you will let them be so.

Patreon next call December 9 @ 11am PST: patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Get a personalized video response: wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Both Feet In - Abridged: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged use the code BLACKFRIDAY20 for 20% off until 12/10/23 11:59 pm PST

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

4:15 Relationship anxiety as a spiritual calling

7:25 If you want to be comfortable with anxiety, you must be comfortable with loss and feeling “naked”

16:00 The myth of “when you know, you’ll know”

29:00  Being free of anxiety means you just say “yes'“ to what is

30:25  How to be with disappointment

38:15 Both Feet In - Abridged

Are you feeling an intense urge to break up right before Thanksgiving or winter break? You're not alone. It's actually very common! In this episode, I outline some common reasons behind holiday break-up urges and what you can do instead.

Patreon: patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Get a personalized video response: wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Email me to get on the waiting list for early bird BFI rate at natalie@anxiouslovecoach.com

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

3:00 Breaking up and coming back to my partner during the holidays

7:40 How the holidays can bring up difficult feelings about your relationship

13:00 Wanting control over your life

19:40 What to do when you have breakup urges during the holidays

28:04 Earlybird discount for the upcoming Both Feet In coaching program

If you:

-are with someone struggling with relationship anxiety/ROCD and want to do your part...

-were broken up with because of someone's RA...

-are struggling with RA, but want to see what your partner's "work" is...

-want to look at your RA from an outsider's perspective...

... then this episode is for you!

Links:

Submit a Wisio here

Next Irvine, CA donations class - movement, breath, discussion, lunch

Irvine Oct 29 10am PST

NEXT PATREON CALL:

Nov 5 @ 11am PST Exclusive content + monthly coaching (my husband is jumping on at 150 patrons and we are SO CLOSE.)

Time Stamps:

4:26 Being the most attracted to my partner when he was more selfish

7:51  Your partner’s relationship anxiety is not your fault/this person is wounded and trying to resolve their issues through you

12:40  Tools for a person whose partner has relationship anxiety

15:14  Keep focusing on yourself

20:00  Become ok with them leaving

24:10 Let control and let your partner be without trying to fix them

28:15 There is always the option to leave

31:12 You can still stay out of their inner process while still staying in the relationship

36:50 Don’t try to control your ex-partner if they break up with you by telling them they have relationship anxiety

39:23  My upcoming Both Feet In program in January

In this episode, my friend and other relationship anxiety practitioner, Chelsea Horton over at Healing Embodied, and I share our counter-cultural relationship beliefs that have served us well and brought us deep peace in our long-term partnerships.

This episode was recorded as a joint effort - meaning it showed up on both our podcasts, and there is no formal host. Enjoy 🙂

Links:

Ask me anything and receive a 10 min video response:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Join my Patreon! We host monthly meetings on Zoom

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

7:00  Taking a non-entitled perspective on relationships

12:00 Creating a culture of gratitude in your relationship

14:30  #1 saying thank you to your partner even if you deserve what he/she gives

16:00 #2 I receive what I am given (say yes to what is

25:05  #3 I don’t need my partner to have similar interests to me in order to be happy

40:15  #4 I “settled” and I am deeply fulfilled (redefine what settling means to you)

46:55  #5 Trying to make my partner what I think they should be is not love, it is control

50:55  #6 I am 100% responsible for my own aliveness and pleasure

1:01:00 #7 I am okay with my partner not being perfect and fully evolved

I really should have titled this, "10 ways Natalie is controlling." Ha! I hope you enjoy this episode. If you want to practice trusting your partner more, I give you 10 examples of ways to do this based on mistakes I've made. Listen to this episode, save your energy and breath and grant yourself relational/marital peace.

Links:

Wisio is hosting a sale! Ask me anything for 10% off: Code: FALL23

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Next Patreon group coaching call at Oct 8th, 11am PST/2pm EST

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

2:45 Thinking of my unsolicited feedback as helpful

5:00 The difference between letting go of control and tolerating disrespect

7:56 Trying to control my partner’s bedtime and waking time

16:06  Policing my partner’s food choices

18:01  Coaching my partner when we are out having fun

20:01  Undoing what my partner does and redoing it

21:40  Sending my partner relationship advice

24:00  Making sure that my partner did what his mother asked of him

25:20  Telling my partner how to act towards his friends

26:45  Controlling how my partner cooks

29:00  Trying to have my partner open up and have a deep conversation against his will

31:55  Trying to get my partner to be more present with me

39:30  Hosting a mindful movement class in Orange County

In this episode, I share how the lack of sisterhood/brotherhood/community can contribute to relationship anxiety and dissatisfaction, and how to cultivate it.

Links:

Ask me a question:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Next Patreon group coaching call at Oct 8th, 11am PST/2pm EST

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

5:00  Losing the passion in your relationship

8:10  The importance of a brotherhood and sisterhood

11:00  Attempts to fill the relationship void with outside sources

15:59 Unworthiness wounds and how they prevent us from accepting love

17:30 Your man will never understand what it’s like to be a woman and you will never understand what it’s like to be a man

20:30  How a lack of sisterhood can lead to nitpicking

24:30 The Anxious Love Coach Patreon

In this episode, I share a simple question that will help you ground yourself in reality, and actually move forward with life, if you're stuck on the fence over your relationship.

Links:

Ask me a question:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Next Patreon group coaching call - September 20th @ 9am: 

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

2:48  Wanting to control or change my partner in order to continue in the relationship

3:58  Disclaimers about abusive relationships

7:56  Dealing with resentment in your relationship by “being on the fence”

9:45  Reasons we feel like we need to be in control of our partners

10:25  What to do when you’re on the fence

13:05  A question you can ask yourself if you’re on the fence

In this episode, I talk about the curvature of expectations held in marriage/partnership over the centuries, and how in this day and age, it is beneficial, in some ways, to lower your expectations. I also address the "alpha male" and "high value man" conversation, and why we ought to be cautious and discerning about it. If you wish your partner was more spiritual or brought home more money, this episode will bring you some perspective, and how lowering your expectations will paradoxically open you up to receive MORE than you ever dreamed of in your partnership.

Links:

Also, it’s my birthday! Take 31% off all my courses with the code BIRTHDAY31 until August 31: 

Conscious Communication Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/consciouscommunication

Both Feet In Relationship Anxiety Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Quit Comparing Your Relationship Challenge:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

Ask me a question:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Join my Patreon here for more content and live monthly calls:

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

3:00  Being happy with a loving, nonabusive, stable partner

5:25  Having both masculine and feminine sides to yourself

7:23 Ways I would “test” my partner in the past

16:00 Wanting your partner to “be more masculine”

18:12 The dangers of seeing your relationship as a competition

25:25 My thoughts on the new Barbie film

32:00 Social messages telling us to be extraordinary

33:23 Holding a desire for the life that you want vs. having expectations of your partner

36:50 The feminine will always want more

39:45 Don’t compare your nuanced relationship to a polarizing fantasy

What makes a partner "good enough" to settle down with?

It's common knowledge (especially if you listen to my podcast often) that "perfect" isn't a realistic standard to search for when choosing a long-term partner. While your choice of partner is one of the most important choices you'll ever make, it doesn't mean you're settling if you chose "good enough." The question is, where is the line between "good enough" and "settling?" In this episode, I didn't necessarily draw that line for you, but gave you some different things to think about. I am hopeful that it will bring you some clarity and material for discussing with your partner when deciding whether or not to move forward.

[I recorded this on a hot delirium of a day with no AC. I went on a tangent a couple of times. Forgive me!... or maybe you'll love them. Lol.]

Links:

Also, it’s my birthday! Take 31% off all my courses with the code BIRTHDAY31 until August 31: 

Conscious Communication Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/consciouscommunication

Both Feet In Relationship Anxiety Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Quit Comparing Your Relationship Challenge:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

Ask me a question:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Join my Patreon here for more content and live monthly calls:

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

1:45  Good enough versus perfect

4:00  Wanting contradictory things out of our partner

9:00  Having a “boring”/socially awkward partner

12:03  Going through different seasons of your life with your partner

16:12  Dating in your 20s vs your 30s+

19:34  Looks are important but the men who want to build a life with you will look for substance

21:00  Not knowing what you want in your 20s

24:18  Questions to ask yourself if you’re trying to figure out if your partner is “good enough” to settle down with

32:45  Women often mature more quickly than men

37:19  Dealing with incompatibilities

43:40  Being lead in your relationship in a nonabusive context 

In this episode, I share how polarizing, black-and-white content on social media is pinning people against each other. I will also admit that I fell prey to this and started a fight with my husband before recording this episode. I also share what I learned from it and how I plan to do better.

Links:

Also, it’s my birthday! Take 31% off all my courses with the code BIRTHDAY31: 

Conscious Communication Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/consciouscommunication

Both Feet In Relationship Anxiety Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Quit Comparing Your Relationship Challenge:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

Ask me a question:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Join my Patreon here for more content and live monthly calls:

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

6:50 The fights that my husband and I have had

10:25 Some of the messages I’ve received about men from social media

15:59  The fight that we had today

22:45  How your pain can activate your partner’s pain

24:00 The importance of taking space when needed during arguments

31:50  The overwhelming fear of getting the short end of the stick in relationships

34:00  Nuanced content does not get attention on social media

36:55 Keeping the assumption that your partner loves you more than anything

41:00  Learning how to better have arguments