The Apparently Parent Podcast

Welcome to the 50th episode of The Apparently Parent Podcast! Yay! I'm so happy you're here, celebrating this with me. When I started working on this podcast, I didn't think we're going to go through a global pandemic, lockdowns, and all that stuff, but we did, and I think that working on this podcast, putting out a weekly episode even with all that was happening, was one of the things that really helped me manage those tougher times.

To celebrate this achievement, I put up a special episode, in which I invite you to travel back in time.

You see, in the podcast, I sometimes talk with interesting guests who have something to say about children, parenting, and the in-between. And I have started to ask each guest one specific question at the end of the conversation. And this question goes a little bit like this:

If you could go back in time, and meet your younger self, right before you became a parent, what would you like to tell that younger self?

I really like this question, because as a therapist, I think this mental time travel can be really powerful. Whether we are moving backward or forward in time, as long as we keep the perspective, we can actually learn a lot and help ourselves in the process.

By going back in time and "talking" with your younger self, you can find a new place of compassion, understanding, and wisdom within yourself. You might also see how much you have progressed and grown through the years.

In this episode, I invite you to listen to the answers that my wonderful guests have provided to this question. I hope you'd take the time and listen because I'm sure you might find yourself in one or more of the answers.

And after you listen, I invite you to think about this question yourself and answer it on your own. Maybe take a piece of paper, or open a fresh page in your journal and write it down. There are no wrong answers here. And, if you want, share it on your social media, who knows, you might inspire someone else (if you do share it, please tag me on Instagram @apparentlyparent or the Apparently Parent Facebook page).

As America is stepping into a new presidency, at the end of a tumultuous couple of weeks, I wanted to re-publish an older episode. This was originally published in the wake of the Black Lives Matter movement after the murder of George Floyd. Back then I wanted to talk about how we, as parents, have a responsibility to address those issues with our children, and proposed some ways to do so.

I think it's a good moment in history to address these issues again. Whether you live in the US or not, it's good to be able to talk with your children about what is going on in the political and social spheres of our lives. By creating an open dialogue, you can help your children become more aware and conscious. And I am one who believes that this is important if we want to create a better world.

How do you know if you parent the "right" way?
Is there a right way? What do you do in order to keep up with what is important to you?

It all depends on your ability to identify your parenting values and pursue them. In this episode, I'll show you what parenting values are, and how you can start to identify what they are.

Check out my free training on finding your values using the Bull's Eye exercise - https://www.apparentlyparent.com/values

Have you ever set a new year's resolution and failed to achieve it? Well, there's a reason for that, and it has to do with how connected you are to your values.

In this episode, I will show you what values really mean, and why it is so important to be connected to your real values.  You'll see how it will help you be a better parent and weather emotional storms, and basically build a richer and more meaningful life.

If you want my free training on finding your values and building an action plan to achieve them, click here.

Congratulations! We have officially got to the end of 2020. Who would have thought that this year would turn this way, huh?
But it had, and now it's over, and we can start a fresh new year, full of hopes and dreams!

But before we make a run into 2021, I believe we should stop for a couple of moments and say goodbye to 2020 by actually looking at the things that it brought us. No, not necessarily the lockdowns, anxiety, and uncertainty. I'm talking about the good stuff.

What good stuff? In this episode, I share my own. The things I have learned about myself and my family, and what I want to take with me to the next year.

And I want to hear from you as well. What have you learned from 2020? Let me know after you listen to this episode by going to my Instagram account and sharing with me.

Have a wonderful 2021!

What does it mean to be a dad in the 21 century? What are the differences between being a dad or a mom, if there are any differences at all?

These are just some of the questions that I discuss in today's episode with my guest Stephen Dypiangco. Steve is the co-founder of Dadventures (hellodadventures.com), an early stage startup helping parents find fun things to do with their kids, and he shares his story and the story of how his company is helping parents and children create wonderful experiences, covid or not.

While the world holds its breath, waiting for the covid-19 vaccinations, it's time to talk about a different kind of immunity - psychological immunity. In this episode, I share with you what does psychological immunity is and why it's so important for your children's lives. You will also learn how to help your children develop psychological immunity.

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Want to learn more about helping your children develop psychological immunity? Join my new workshop: 3 Secrets of Confident Parenting

Montessori. Until a couple of years ago, whenever I heard that word I thought it was some Italian dish that I HAD to try.
But then I had children and started to learn about different educational methods and systems, but I never really learned what Montessori really is.

But today, my friends, you and I are going deep into the Montessori world, with the help of Charlotte Peck, my guest in this episode. Charlotte is a Montessori educator and consultant helping parents navigate Montessori learning at home, and she's helping us understand what Montessori is (and isn't), what does it look like, and how you can implement some of its child-focused principles in your daily lives.

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Join my Facebook group - Navigating Parenting - Raising Secure and Confident Children

This episode was originally aired in March 2020, when the covid just started to show its face around the world. Now, as it is Thanksgiving of 2020, which means we are about to close off this year, I thought it's a good time to go back to this talk. Why? Because as crazy, unprecedented, and unpredictable this year had been, we would be wise to see the good alongside the bad.

In the episode, I explain why gratitude is such an important trait to cultivate for both our mental and physical well-being and how you can start bringing more gratitude into your lives starting today.

ANGER. It's time we talk about anger, which is one of the universal, fundamental emotions we have. Anger is perhaps the most scrutinized emotions we have, and parents all over the world teach their children to avoid anger. But, is that wise? Should you teach your children to avoid anger? And what do you do with your own anger?

In this episode we'll talk about why anger is such an important emotion, but more importantly, I'll teach you a couple of ways to have more control over your anger. Because while we may not want to disavow and delete the anger from our system (and we really can't do that), we do want to use anger in a positive way (it's possible!) and avoid hurting our loved ones.

You'll Learn

• The importance of anger
• How to use your body to control your anger
• What laughter has to do with it

Emotions! You can't live with'em, but ya can't get rid of'em. Am I right?!

Nah, I'm just kidding, of course. Emotions are one of the most important things in our lives. Emotions make us who we are. And they have a big role in our development and everyday lives.

But emotions can also be hard on us. The so-called "negative" emotions such as sadness, anger, or fear can wreak havoc in our days and nights, making our lives miserable. And if you're parents, who have to take care not only of your emotions but those of your kids as well.

Well, what if there was a tool that could really help you make sense of your emotions and cope with them when they get a little bit too much?

In this episode of The Apparently Parent Podcast, I want to tell you about such a tool. It's called The Change Triangle and it was developed by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, who is a guest in this episode. In the episode, Hilary and I talk about the change triangle and how it can play a role in your lives as parents (and also as just human beings with emotions, kids or no kids).

It's an important topic that most people don't want to think about. Bullying.

Most parents don't want to think of their children as potential bullying victims. But it can happen to everyone. And bullying can take many different forms: physical abuse, verbal abuse, or shunning which is isolating a child from everybody else.

Being bullied or shunned like that can take a huge toll on the mental and physical well being of a child. It usually makes a child feel lonely and children may develop what is known as learned helplessness. Children may manifest their stress through physical symptoms such as headaches or tummy aches, and more.

In this episode, you will learn what does it feel like to be bullied and shunned, so that you can connect better to the experience of your child, should they ever be in that place.

You will also learn the three red flags that could help you realize that something may be wrong, and if that is the case, how to start helping your child.

Welcome to this special US Elections Episode. At the time this post is published, we are a couple of days before the 2020 elections, and I thought this is a wonderful time to talk about the connection between family and government.

When we think about the way parents lead their families, we can see some equivalences with several types of government. So what kind of family do you have? Is it a democracy? Or maybe it's a dictatorship?

You'll Learn

• How parenting styles shape the relationship with your children?
• What does it mean to have a democracy vs. a dictatorship in your family?

Can you learn better parenting skills from an app?
Matt Larson thinks so, and he created such an app.
Matt is one of the founders of The Human Improvement Project, a non-profit organization that created two apps that help learn the foundations of the child-parent relationship.

In this episode, I'm talking to Matt about his mission to help parents improve their skills and how a tech-wiz turned out to be the founder of a parenting knowledge app.

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Continue the conversation in my free community: Navigating Parenting - Raising Secure and Confident Children

You are not mistaken. I called this episode "Let Your Children Fail", because that's actually one of the best gifts you can give your children. How so? Well, I don't mean that you should let your children really "fail" all the time, and don't help them. I do mean that you can teach them to appreciate their mistakes and learn from them.

Because if you teach your children that they can either succeed or learn something new (as opposed to failing), you will give them a gift for life.

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Continue the conversation in my free community - join the Facebook group today by clicking here.

There's a question that I see coming up a lot in parenting groups and forums, which I wanted to address in this episode. It's all about feeling like a bad parent because you get mad and yell. The question can look like this:

I want to know the best way to parent. I want to be the best that I can be. But right now I’m feeling like I’m failing. That’s because I shout too much. I have a short fuse and is always leads to feeling huge waves of guilt.

Sounds familiar?

In this episode, we're talking about what can you do with those feelings of mom-guilt or dad-guilt. And especially, we will explore the power of compassion and self-compassion. You will learn how a couple of simple exercises can enhance your self-worth, reduce negative thinking, and eventually make you feel better about your parenting and be able to better show up with your child.

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Never parent alone, and continue the conversation. Join my Facebook group Navigating Parenting - Raising Secure and Confident Children

Bethany Saltman is an author, zen-practitioner, writing coach, and a mother. In this episode, I had the pleasure of talking to her about her new book: Strange Situation - A Mother’s Journey into the Science of Attachment.

In this wonderful tale of becoming a parent, Bethany tells her own story, as well as that of Mary Ainsworth, who is responsible for the vast research of the Attachment Theory as we know it. Together, we discuss her own story of becoming a mom and moving from feeling ashamed and guilty into a more present and accepting place, the difference between "attachment parenting" and the real attachment theory, and more.

*** WIN A FREE COPY OF THE BOOK ***
Join my free Facebook group today to be eligible to win a free copy of "Strange Situation". The winner will be chosen on October 10th, 2020, so be sure to be a member before that time. Invite your friends for an even better chance of winning the book. All the details are in the group.

When your children have to face changes, there's one simple thing you can do to help them. And that is to prepare them for that change using the power of stories.

In this episode, I will walk you through a simple process that will help you write - yes yes, write - a simple story that will help your child prepare for that change. And believe me, you don't need to be Shakespear.

After you listen to the episode, go to the show notes on www.apparentlyparent.com/33 to download a free guide and template for creating such stories.

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You don't have to parent alone! Join my free community for positive-minded parents. Just click here and join the vibe.

As many countries are still in lockdown or entering a second lockdown, many parents find that staying home with their kids is not an easy job, to say the least. And that's especially true if you're trying to set boundaries all they long. So, naturally, some parents tend to get more and more chill with those boundaries, sometimes to the point of giving them up.

But, is that even a problem? Maybe fewer boundaries are the sane way to go? What's so wrong about being your child's best friend and eliminating the hierarchy?

That's the topic of this episode, as we explore the negative effects of what is known as permissive parenting.

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Feeling alone? In need of support? Please join my Facebook community today and be a part of a growing group of like-minded parents who believe in the power of positive, connected parenting - click here to join

Are you struggling with how your kids use screens? Do you find yourself fighting with them over how many hours of screen they are allowed to use each day? Or what they do online? Well, tune in to today's episode where I'm having a conversation with Lisa Honold.

Lisa is a certified Positive Discipline parent educator and an expert on cyber safety. Her work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal and the “Empowered Parenting Summit 2020”. As the Director for the Center for Online Safety, she helps families stop fighting over screen time so they can get back to having fun together.

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Continue the conversation in my Facebook group Navigating Parenting - click here to join the group