The Catalyst for Courage Podcast- Igniting Hope in the Midst of Infertility & Pregnancy Loss

This week we are sharing part 2 of my interview with Carolyn Robistow, a Licensed Professional Counselor, coach, and certified Brain Spotting Practitioner. 

If you haven’t listened to part 1 of this conversation (Episode #009- you can find it here) I highly encourage you to stop right now and go back and listen to that one first. In part 1, Carolyn shared her personal journey of experiencing infertility to now embracing and thriving in her amazing childfree life, and she so beautifully explains the amazing science of brainspotting, how you can start doing it right now,  and how brainspotting can be used to manage triggers, emotions, and unhealthy thought and behavior patterns specifically for those of us who have experienced infertility or loss. 

In this episode, Carolyn and I pick up right where we left off and dive into discussing the 3 pillars of change and how brainspotting can also be helpful to use in any type of habit change- whether that’s an unhealthy thought pattern or reaction we continue to find ourselves stuck in or a behavioral habit that we recognize isn’t serving us or empowering us to be our best self. I know for a lot of us on this journey, there is so much we wish we could change. While we can’t usually change our circumstances or the outcomes, we can change our thoughts, our behaviors, our routines, our habits, and the way we respond to stressors in our lives. Carolyn explains the science behind habit change and how we can use it to our advantage to get “unstuck” when we feel like what is working for everyone else isn’t working for us. 

I know this is one conversation that I plan to personally listen to again and again as I find myself in a place of wanting to create change in my own life. As always, I hope this episode sparks courage and ignites hope for you in the week ahead. 

This week I had the pleasure of interviewing Carolyn Robistow, a Licensed Professional Counselor, coach, and certified Brain Spotting Practitioner. 

I heard Carolyn as a guest on another podcast I listen to and she immediately stood out to me as someone I knew I wanted to connect with and learn more from. I later discovered she has her own podcast, Brain Unblocked: The Brainspotting Podcast, and I was just so intrigued with learning more about brainspotting, especially the practice of self-brainspotting (which I had NEVER heard of!) and I couldn’t help but think about all of you, our listeners, and just imagining all the ways this incredible tool of brainspotting could be so incredibly practical and helpful to you in your journey of navigating life in the midst of  infertility and/or loss. 

After connecting with Carolyn on Instagram, I knew she would know better than ANYONE exactly how brainspotting could be beneficial to someone in our community, because not only is she a certified brain spotting practitioner, but she has also walked through her own personal journey of infertility- and it’s a journey of incredible strength and resilience. Carolyn’s story includes receiving an unexpected infertility diagnosis as a newlywed, two unsuccessful rounds of IVF, and an abruptly unexpected ending to her journey to adopt due to a heartbreaking paperwork snafu between two states that refused to work together. 

In this episode, which is part one of a two-part series, Carolyn shares her personal story and experience of infertility to where she is now- thriving and living an amazing childfree life, and she so beautifully explains what brainspotting is, how you can start using it RIGHT NOW, and how it can be helpful to manage triggers, emotions, and unhealthy thought and behavior patterns specifically for those of us who have experienced infertility or loss.

Links and references made in this episode:

Brain Unblocked Podcast:

• Episode 1: What is Brainspotting?
• Episode 2: How to Start a Self Brainspotting Practice
•  All Other Podcast Episodes

Carolyn’s website: https://CarolynRobistow.net 

The Body Keeps the Score book by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk 

Carolyn’s Private Practice Site: https://joyeffectcounseling.com

Anyone who has been through infertility or pregnancy or infant loss knows that holidays can be hard. When I was in the middle of my 7-year journey with infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, I dreaded the holidays. I remember really investing a lot of emotional energy in preparing for Christmas and Thanksgiving, Mothers Day and Fathers Day, my Birthday and our anniversary, but one holiday that always seemed to catch me off guard was Halloween.

We don’t always think of Halloween as an especially triggering or difficult holiday, but Halloween can be ridiculously hard for anyone who is grieving.

In this episode, we’ll talk about why Halloween can be especially difficult for those of us who are grieving, and I’ll share a few ideas and tips with you to identify some ways you can really care for yourself not only today, but throughout the holiday season. 

This week I was able to finally meet with Rachel Lewis, grief coach, published author, and founder of Brava Mamas.  I have felt drawn to Rachel ever since I found her book last year, and I am so excited to have finally been able to connect with her after taking a break from the podcast over the summer. Rachel has such a gift with words and connecting with others on a genuine and personal level and I love her candor and passion for sharing her story and the legacy of her babies in heaven in a way that is inspiring, encouraging, honest and authentic. In this episode, Rachel and I talk about the reality of the experience of “unexpecting” and what that shift and process looks like  when you go from “expecting” a baby to “unexpecting”. Rachel shares practical tips to help listeners prepare for and navigate triggers after experiencing a loss, how to move forward “with” your life alongside your grief, and how loss, lament, love, and legacy can all intertwine in a really beautiful and authentic way throughout this lifelong healing process. I hope this episode sparks courage and ignites hope for you in the week ahead. Let’s dive in.

Hi friends, this week I invite my friend and Licensed Professional Counselor, Molly Dalva back on the show. Molly joined us for episode 3 and talked about all things trauma and the way we may experience trauma through our journey with infertility or pregnancy & infant loss. This week, we are talking about the process of therapy and how we truly believe EVERYONE can benefit from therapy. Molly explains what the therapy process is like from start to finish and identifies different types of therapy and how they each might benefit you, and she also shares some really practical information on  what to look for in a therapist and ways to know if your therapist is the right fit for you. Molly also shares with us a little bit of inside scoop on what your therapist may be thinking, and how your therapist can partner with you when you face barriers in therapy. I hope this episode sparks courage and ignites hope for you in the week ahead. Let’s dive in.

With Father’s Day weekend coming up this week, I wanted to focus this week’s episode on Dads. Dads who have lost a baby and Dads who are still in waiting. Joining us this week is my husband, David Blair. 

In this episode, David shares what his grieving process was like over our 7 year journey of recurrent pregnancy loss and we discuss the ways that his grief differed from mine, and how that impacted our marriage.  He also shares how we grew to support and provide space for each other over the years, what we wish we could go back and tell ourselves in the very beginning, and how others can support a grieving Dad. David shares candidly and vulnerably and offers an honest perspective and insight on the ways our partner’s often experience and grieve in infertility & loss.

This week I have the pleasure of interviewing my infertility doctor, Dr. Creighton E. Likes, III, MS, MD. Dr. Likes is a double-board certified Reproductive Endocrinologist and the Medical Director of the Fertility Center of the Carolinas where he has been practicing reproductive medicine for 12 years. Dr. Likes completed medical school at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston, SC, completed OB/Gyn Residency in Greenville, SC, and completed his REI Fellowship at Duke University. Dr. Likes is passionate about providing hope and support to individuals and couples who desire grow their families. 

In this episode, Dr. Likes shares what the process of working with an infertility specialist is like, what you expect, and when individuals and couples should consider seeing a specialist. He tells us what his thought process is like when working with a new patient and what he does when he has been working with a patient for a while who has not yet had success. Dr. Likes and I talk candidly about what it looks like to have difficult conversations with your doctor, when or how to ask for a second opinion, what to do next when a treatment cycle is unsuccessful, and how patients can find emotional support for the roller coaster journey of infertility. 

Dr. Likes shared so much wisdom and hope, but I think my favorite thing he said was, “Any patient is allowed to feel what they feel and it is completely valid and understandable. This process is both emotional and physical. Having rapport with your physician and knowing that you can open up and express your feelings is really important. ” Thank you for being here, friend. I hope this episode sparks courage and ignites hope for you in the week ahead. 

This week I have the pleasure of interviewing one of my closest friends- who also happens to be a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert on all things trauma- Molly Dalva.  Molly is the owner of Resilience LLC, a healing space offering compassionate and connected psychotherapy to those overcoming chronic stress and trauma. Molly has held designation as a certified clinical trauma professional, a certified clinical trauma specialist in the area of sexual exploitation and trafficking and has completed advanced trainings in somatic and attachment focused trauma therapies. Molly is passionate about being with clients who have experienced trauma, and I think one thing that makes her so great at what she does is her ability to provide a human-to-human connection in which clients can come to experience safety within themselves and in relationship with others. In this episode, Molly breaks down the difference between traumatic stress and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), how trauma relates to infertility and pregnancy loss and what how different people may respond to this type of trauma (think fight, flight, or freeze.. plus a fourth response you may not have heard of!). Molly also shares what is happening in our brains and bodies when we experience trauma and when we are triggered, provides steps we can take to begin the healing process, and helps those of us who may love someone who has experienced trauma better understand their experience and know how to support them. Molly shared so much wisdom and hope, but I think my favorite thing she said was, “Your pain matters, your story matters, and you are deserving of support no matter what stage of healing you’re in.” Thank you for being here, friend. I hope this episode sparks courage and ignites hope for you in the week ahead. 

This week I have the pleasure of interviewing Kristin Dillensnyder-  IVF coach and 3 time IVF warrior that experienced 3 different outcomes… one cycle that worked, one cycle that didn’t and one cycle that ended in a miscarriage. As a certified life coach, Kristin became the person she needed during the hardest parts of infertility so other women who need IVF to grow their families will not be as consumed by their infertility as she was. In this episode, we talk about what it looks like to make the decision to move forward with IVF or to try again after an unsuccessful cycle and how to “fill you cup”  after feeling depleted and consumed by your infertility journey. Kristin shares with us what she would go back and tell herself as she was going through IVF for the first time, and also shares so many practical tips and tools you can implement in your own life- right now- wherever you are in your journey. Kristin shared so much wisdom and hope, but I think my favorite thing she said was, “It’s really important to believe that just because it hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it can’t happen.” Thank you for being here, friend. I hope this episode sparks courage and ignites hope for you in the week ahead. 

In this episode, you will hear the story behind Catalyst for Courage. While this podcast isn't about Lindsay, her 9 babies in heaven, or her miracle twins here on earth, this story is what started Catalyst for Courage and inspired Lindsay to want to support others who are walking through infertility, pregnancy & infant loss, or life after infertility & loss. Lindsay's story includes an unplanned pregnancy, many miscarriages, 2 ectopic pregnancies that both ended in emergency surgery, the loss of both of her falloppian tubes, IVF, failed embryo transfers, embryo loss, trauma, anxiety, and questioning her faith, a successful embryo transfer, the loss of a triplet in a multiples pregnancy, and a twin pregnancy after loss that resulted in a healthy, full-term delivery of her miracle babies.

For show notes and more information about this podcast, visit catalystforcourage.com/podcast

In this special Mothers Day bonus episode, find courage and hope for you to help you navigate and prepare for Mothers Day this week. My hope is that you will not only survive this week, but will do so while honoring your story and your journey of motherhood and holding onto hope. I’ll share 5 tips to help you prepare for Mothers Day and the emotional hangover you may feel afterwards,  and also  talk about ways you can care for yourself this week and honor your journey. You will also hear words of hope and encouragement from other real and very special women in this community who have also walked through the difficulties of infertility and pregnancy & infant loss. 

Whether you are still in a season of waiting to be a mother or if you are a bereaved mother, I hope this episode sparks courage and ignites hope for you in the week ahead and allows you to feel seen, valued, and supported, and also let’s you know that you aren’t alone. 

Catalyst for Courage was founded to be able to provide individualized support, resources, tools, knowledge, and a whole lot of encouragement and hope for those who have experienced infertility, pregnancy or infant loss, or are navigating life after infertility and loss. 

I'm your host, Lindsay Blair. I am a certified trauma specialist, infertility coach, and birth and bereavement doula with a passion to support others with stories like mine. When I experienced my first miscarriage in May of 2014, I didn’t know a single person who had gone through what I was going through. When I was referred to a fertility specialist in 2015 for recurrent pregnancy loss, I had no idea what to expect. When I started my first round of IVF in 2017, I had no one to help me prepare for the roller coaster of hormones and emotional ups and downs I was about to embark on. When I was pregnant for the 9th time after so many years of infertility trauma and repeated losses, I didn’t know how I would ever be able to manage my anxiety I felt or the triggers I faced on a near-daily basis. Catalyst for Courage was born out of a desire to be able to give others the support, knowledge, tools, and community I wish I had when I was going through the darkest, hardest, and loneliest parts of my story. 

I hope this podcast can ignite even just a spark of courage or a flicker of hope for you. You are not alone in your pain. You are not alone in your anger. You are not alone in your doubt. You are not alone in your waiting. You are not alone in your suffering. You are not alone in your grief.

Wherever you are in your journey, you are welcome here just as you are. Your anger, your fear, your doubt, your confusion, your questions, your weariness, your anxiety, your trauma, your pain, and your suffering are all welcome here. I have no expectations for you and I’ll never put a timeline on your healing. I’ll just be right here, holding space for you and holding onto to hope for you- I’m believing that your story isn’t over and that this won’t always feel as hard as it feels right now.

Thank you for letting me share the heart behind this podcast with you. I hope this podcast will be a place where you can come each week to find support, ignite hope, and take courage. You are not alone, friend. 

For show notes and more information about this podcast, visit catalystforcourage.com/podcast