The Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast

Episode 130 - Withdrawing from a Relationship

The fifth Losing Relationship Strategy in this series is – Withdrawal.

When we withdraw from a relationship, we are disinvesting in it. When we are criticizing and fighting, we are still invested in the relationship. Withdrawal is a sign that we’ve given up and are no longer giving our energy to the relationship. 

Here’s a question you can ask yourself: Have I ever withdrawn from a relationship? How did I get to the point of withdrawing?

If you want to begin learning some winning relationship strategies, register for my upcoming class:

Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out

March 21, 11:00am MDT

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

If you don’t want to wait for the class, schedule a Strategy Call with me. This is a one-time introductory coaching call, not a sales call. We’ll spend about an hour discussing your issue and you’ll leave with at least one, probably two or three strategies to begin using in your relationship

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 129 - Punishment and Retaliation – Losing Strategy #4

The fourth losing relationship strategy is Punishment and retaliation. This can show up in covert and overt ways, but at its core, we turn ourselves into a victim of the other person and we are then feeling justified in withholding approval and affection, or even punishing in a physically harmful way. 

We are designed for human connection, and we are designed to want our independence and agency. The problem is we don’t know how to get both of those things at the same time. We either give up our independence or we cut ourselves off from others. 

To begin working on correcting this losing strategy, ask yourself the following questions:

1.       When was the last time I withheld affection or approval from someone I love? 

2.       How did I feel after I did that? 

3.       What was I trying to get? 

4.       Did I get what I wanted?

If you want to begin learning some winning relationship strategies, register for my upcoming class:

Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out

March 21, 11:00am MDT

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

If you don’t want to wait for the class, schedule a Strategy Call with me. This is a one-time introductory coaching call, not a sales call. We’ll spend about an hour discussing your issue and you’ll leave with at least one, probably two or three strategies to begin using in your relationship

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 128 Unbridled Self-expression

The third Losing Relationship Strategy in this series is – Unbridled Self-expression. When you were growing up, was there someone in your home who ruled the atmosphere of the home with the way their words or emotions came spilling out? What was that like for you?

When we allow ourselves to let words and emotions come spilling out onto the people around us, it drives people away, and it gets us the opposite of what we want. Unbridled self-expression is an attempt to get control in a relationship, but if we end up with any control at all, it is a surface level control, not a more connected relationship. 

If you want to begin learning some winning relationship strategies, register for my upcoming class:

Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out

March 21, 11:00am MDT

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

If you don’t want to wait for the class, schedule a Strategy Call with me. This is a one-time introductory coaching call, not a sales call. We’ll spend about an hour discussing your issue and you’ll leave with at least one, probably two or three strategies to begin using in your relationship

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 127 - The Sneaky Ways You Are Trying to Control Other People

Part 2 of Losing Relationship Strategies is all about how we try to control the way other people think of us, the way we try to control what other people do, and how we are trying to control situations in our lives because we can’t handle our own anxieties about things not going the way we want them to. 

If you want to begin learning some winning relationship strategies, register for my upcoming class:

Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out

March 21, 11:00am MDT

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

If you don’t want to wait for the class, schedule a Strategy Call with me. This is a one-time introductory coaching call, not a sales call. We’ll spend about an hour discussing your issue and you’ll leave with at least one, probably two or three strategies to begin using in your relationship. 

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

126 - Needing to be Right

Our brains have a natural need to be right, and that comes from the way we take in our experiences and make meaning of them. We each have a different way of taking in experiences and how we make meaning of them, and that works directly against forming strong relationship connections with others when we fight for our view of the world and refuse to see an alternative view. 

Needing to be right and fighting for that right is one of the losing relationship strategies I’ll be covering the next few weeks. This is part 1 of a 7-part series on Losing Relationship Strategies. 

I’ll be teaching a class on what to do instead of using these losing strategies. The link to register for this class is coming next week.
 

Strategy Call

If you don’t want to wait for the class, set up a Strategy call with me. Use this call to try out coaching and see if it’s a good fit for you, or to work on one relationship problem you’re having. We’ll work for about an hour and you’ll walk away from this call with at least one, but probably two or three different strategies to begin using. I’ll help you to begin moving from transactional thinking to relational thinking. The price for this call will be going up April 2024. Schedule yours right now at the current low price of $25. 

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 125 Finding the Progress in Your Life

This is part 4 in a 4-part series on setting relationship goals.

You can accomplish less than you think you’re supposed to in the short-term and much more than you think you can in the long-term.

Relationships are not sprints; they are marathons. Let time work on your side but show yourself how you are progressing along the way. This episode will show you how to do that. 

Want some help with what you’re learning in this 4-part series?

Download: The Step-by-Step Guide to Setting a Relationship Goal

I’ll walk you through each of the steps in this podcast series and I’ll give you a system for intentionally creating your day that only takes 5 minutes each day. 

Need some help in using this system? Set up a Strategy Call with me. I’m offering 24, 60-minute strategy calls in the first quarter of 2024. The current price is $25, but this price will increase in April 2024. 

CLICK HERE to schedule your Strategy Call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 124 The What, How, and Why of Setting a Relationship Goal

This is part 3 in a 4-part series on setting relationship goals.

This episode gets down to the nitty-gritty of what to focus on, how to create a system that works, and how to stay focused on what you want to create and why. 

James Clear, author of “Atomic Habits” says:

“Focus on systems, not on goals. You will not rise to achieve your goals; you will fall to the level of your systems.”

When you focus on the system, your goal becomes an action item and feels more tangible. 

Want some help with what you’re learning in this 4-part series?

Download: The Step-by-Step Guide to Setting a Relationship Goal

I’ll walk you through each of the steps in this podcast series and I’ll give you a system for intentionally creating your day that only takes 5 minutes each day. 

Need some help in using this system? Set up a Strategy Call with me. I’m offering 24, 60-minute strategy calls in the first quarter of 2024. The current price is $25, but this price will increase in April 2024. 

CLICK HERE to schedule your Strategy Call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 123 Who You Think You Are Determines What You Do

This is part 2 in a 4-part series on setting relationship goals.

This episode is all about using your identity – who you believe you are – to help you make the changes you want vs. trying to force yourself to behave differently than you have in the past. 

Working to change who you believe you are takes more work upfront, but the effects are much longer lasting than behavior changes.

Want some help with what you’re learning in this 4-part series?

Download: The Step-by-Step Guide to Setting a Relationship Goal

I’ll walk you through each of the steps in this podcast series and I’ll give you a system for intentionally creating your day that only takes 5 minutes each day. 

Need some help in using this goal-setting  system? Set up a Strategy Call with me. I’m offering 24, 60-minute strategy calls in the first quarter of 2024. The current price is $25, but this price will increase in April 2024. 

CLICK HERE to schedule your Strategy Call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 122 - Setting a Relationship Goal with a Healthy Mindset

This is part 1 of a 4 part series on setting relationship goals. We often set goals from a place of lack or of feeling like we are not enough just as we are. This makes the journey to achieving the goal feel terrible, and we often get discouraged, give up, and then feel worse about ourselves.
In this episode, you'll learn what a healthy mindset looks like when you are setting goals.

Do you need help setting your relationship goal this year?
Download A Step by Step Guide to Setting Relationship Goals
I'll walk you through setting a goal, identifying what will be difficult in achieving the goal, and creating a strategy to overcome the obstacles.

Set up a Strategy Call with me and see what coaching is all about. We'll work on whatever you need help with and you'll leave this call with a clear plan about how to move forward. I'm offering 24 of these calls at the current price of $25. The price will go up in April 2024 or when all 24 calls are gone. Schedule yours today with the link below!

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=19366620&appointmentType=15222184

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Finding Joy Through Generosity - Most popular episodes of 2023

This is a rebroadcast of an episode recorded earlier this year in the "Finding Joy" series, which aired in April and May 2023.

This episode came in as the most popular episode of 2023 – Finding Joy through Generosity.

Want more balance and peace in your life? Want help managing your emotions? Sleeping better at night? Having more energy in the morning? Then you need to take my class – Breathing For Life! You can grab the class this month for only $29 (usually $49).

CLICK HERE to purchase the class

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Finding Joy Through Compassion - Most popular episodes of 2023

This is a rebroadcast of an episode recorded earlier this year in the "Finding Joy" series, which aired in April and May 2023.

This episode came in 2nd in the most popular episodes of 2023 – Finding Joy through Compassion.

Want more balance and peace in your life? Want help managing your emotions? Sleeping better at night? Having more energy in the morning? Then you need to take my class – Breathing For Life! You can grab the class this month for only $29 (usually $49).

CLICK HERE to purchase the class

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 119

This is a rebroadcast of an episode recorded earlier this year with Clarice Paulson and Caleb Price. It was part of the Know, Love, Grow series that aired January, February, March 2023.

This episode came in 3rd in the most popular episodes of 2023 – Knowing your Young Adult, with Caleb Price and Clarice Paulson. Caleb and Clarice are two very honest young adults (who also happen to be coaches) and they are very vulnerable as they open up to a very specific question I asked them. 

Want more balance and peace in your life? Want help managing your emotions? Sleeping better at night? Having more energy in the morning? Then you need to take my class – Breathing For Life! You can grab the class this month for only $29 (usually $49).

CLICK HERE to purchase the class

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 118

This is a rebroadcast of an episode recorded earlier this year with Leah Davidson. It was part of the Know, Love, Grow series that aired January, February, March 2023. 

This episode came in 4th in the most popular episodes of 2023 – Expectations and Your Family Members, with Leah Davidson

Want more balance and peace in your life? Want help managing your emotions? Sleeping better at night? Having more energy in the morning? Then you need to take my class – Breathing For Life! You can grab the class this month for only $29 (usually $49).

CLICK HERE to purchase the class

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 117

This is a rebroadcast of an episode recorded earlier this year with Aimee Gianni. It was part of the Know, Love, Grow series that aired January, February, March 2023. 

This episode came in 5th in the most popular episodes of 2023 – Finding Love for Who You Are, with Aimee Gianni

Want more balance and peace in your life? Want help managing your emotions? Sleeping better at night? Having more energy in the morning? Then you need to take my class – Breathing For Life! You can grab the class this month for only $29 (usually $49).

CLICK HERE to purchase the class

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 116: How to stop yelling; When other people are offended; My mother is mean – Ask Me Anything Series

Another “Ask Me Anything” podcast where listeners send in their questions to be answered on the podcast. 

Here are the questions asked and answered this week:

Question 1:

You talk a lot about slowing down and I’m having trouble doing that. I have 3 kids under the age of 12. Probably once each day, something happens and I get really upset with them and start yelling, and once I get that out of my system, I feel better, but I also feel worse for how I acted. I think it’s a cycle I don’t know how to break, but I really want to break it. It’s my family that gets most of my anger and I don’t want to keep doing this to them. I can see that they’re afraid of me, but I literally don’t know how to stop. How do I slow down and not yell? 

Question 2:

I am a “tell it how it is” kind of person. I don’t sugar coat anything, I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad, but recently I had a situation where I was in charge of an event at church and I heard that some of the people I was working with were offended. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t want people to be offended, but this is just how I am. 

Question 3:

My mother is so mean. She says the meanest things to me and then tells me I’m too sensitive when I get upset and tell her she’s hurt my feelings. She tells me I just need to get over it and move on. It’s gotten to the point where I think I need to limit the time I spend with her, or maybe even not see her for awhile. I just can’t take it when she gets to say whatever she wants to and then chalk it up to “This is just the way I am.” And then I feel terrible and am told there’s something wrong with me and I should stop feeling what I’m feeling. I want to have a good relationship with her, but if this keeps happening, I can’t see a future that we can keep going on this way.

Links mentioned in this podcast:

Breathing for Life class

Learn to deal with overwhelm, stress, and anxiety as well as process your emotions by establishing a daily breathing practice in just ten minutes each day. 

How 2 Love Your Marriage, with Aimee Gianni

Attend this in-person, 2-day workshop in January, 2024. It will be the best gift you can give your relationship this year!

CLICK HERE for more information

Want to submit a question to be answered on the podcast? CLICK HERE

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 115 - Improving Your Relationship with Your Spouse, Being Afraid for Your Kids - Part 3 of the Ask Me Anything Series

Today’s questions:

Question 1:

What does “Clean up your own side of the street” mean. You say this a lot and I’m not sure what you mean or how to do it. 

Question 2: 

If I were going to do one thing that would help me have a better relationship with my partner, what would it be?

Question 3:

I have 3 kids who are 10, 15, and 17, and I am so afraid for them. I’m watching what is happening with our youth right now and how so many of them are leaving their family’s religion. I know I have good kids and I can’t imagine they would decide to leave, but I’ve seen other kids that I know are really good kids that are leaving, so I feel like there are no guarantees. What can I do to help them?

Links I referenced in this episode:

How 2 Love Your Marriage with Aimee Gianni

CLICK HERE

Episode 81 “Know Yourself Through Self-confrontation”

To submit your question to be answered on the podcast:

CLICK HERE

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode #114 - Parenting Problems and Cleaning Up Your Own Side of the Street, Ask Me Anything Series

Today’s podcast consists of questions sent in by listeners. I answer 2 parenting questions:

Question #1

My son is 18 and has challenges with alcohol and nicotine. He is masking his challenges and feelings by checking out of life with both of those. My daughter is 16 and is questioning her faith. She has stopped going to church. I need some help recognizing how to build a better relationship with both of them. They’ve built up many walls and we don’t really communicate much at all. I don’t know what to do next. 

Question #2

I need some help rebuilding the relationship with my adult son. He’s created perceptions in his mind about who I am, and they are not correct. It’s damaging our relationship. I’ve already tried asking more questions, being less judgmental, and showing more love, but it’s not working. I think I need help in finding acceptance for myself and him. 

Links I referenced in the podcast:

Submit a question to be answered on the podcast:

Link for questions

Episode 74: The Pyramid of Influence with Brent Bartel

Episode #18 Parents Hardest Questions Answered

Episode #63 Processing Emotions

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Episode 113 – Expectation Frustration and Processing Emotions

In today’s podcast, I’ll be answering the following questions:

1.       I’m so disappointed in my wife. She is so disorganized and I feel like I’m picking up the slack when I get home from work. If she would be better about having the stuff like the laundry done, picking up the kids toys, having dinner made before I get home, I wouldn’t be so mad. I get so frustrated when I come home every day and it’s the same thing over and over again. This has been going on for years now and it’s just getting worse. What should I do to get her more organized?

2.       I have 5 kids and 3 of them don’t go to church anymore. The other 2 are on the fence and honestly I’m not sure where they will end up. We have a daughter that is gay and she has a partner we love. I’m not struggling with my kids not going to church or having a gay daughter. I still go to church and it’s so hard for me to listen to how other people talk about LGBTQ people. They say the most judgmental things and the worst part of it is that they don’t even hear the words that are coming out of their own mouth and how judgmental and mean they sound. I leave church in tears most of the time. I get emotional when I speak up, and I know if I said something back to the people making rude comments, that I would just cry the whole way through. I don’t know what to do. I feel like the church is my spiritual home, but I don’t feel welcome in my home anymore. It’s a painful place to be. I’m not sure what my question is, but I just want to feel better.

I’ll be running this “Ask Me Anything” series for the month of November 2023. To submit your question and get an answer on the podcast, CLICK HERE

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

112: Boundaries – When, What, How?

Boundaries are tricky. We are afraid to make them because we don’t want to risk the relationship, but we’re so angry, resentful, fearful, that we’re doing damage to the relationship by not setting them. Listen to this episode for the when, what, and how of boundaries to help you out. 

Do you have a relationship problem you don’t know how to fix? I’ll be running a new series on this podcast in November, which is the “Ask Me Anything” series. Click below to submit a question and get an answer on the podcast. And (of course) you can remain completely anonymous. 

Ask Me Anything

Boundaries:

Take aways:

1.       Use boundaries sparingly. Usually what you want is for someone else to be different. Unless this is threatening your physical, emotional, mental, spiritual health in some way, it’s probably not a boundary issue.

2.       The strongest, most secure relationships have strong boundaries because boundaries require taking responsibility for yourself, and inviting the other person to take responsibility for themselves. It might be difficult at first to put those in place, but in the long run, you’re strengthening a relationship, not weakening it. 

Challenge:

If you want to practice setting a boundary, start with setting one for yourself. If you’re like most people I coach, you have an inner narrator who is not very nice to you. In fact, that narrator can be downright mean. 

Ask yourself, “Would I let someone else talk to me this way?” I hope your answer is NO. You can say to yourself, “When I hear the mean inner narrator say something not nice, I will tell them, “When you talk to me like that, I will tell myself 3 reasons what you are saying is not true.” Or “When you say mean things to me, I’m going to take 3 deep breaths and remind you that I don’t listen to that anymore.” 

This is the inside-out approach and this is the best place to start!

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

111 - Five Things to Focus on When Your Child Leaves the LDS Church

When your child leaves the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it is easy to get caught up in the emotions of fear, worry, sadness, or even anger. None of these emotions will be helpful for you to build and nurture your relationship with your child. Listen to this episode to know where to put your focus instead. 

Listen to the podcast: Processing Emotions

Upcoming Breathing Workshop:

If you are very reactive to the situations and people in your world, if you’re feeling a lot of stress, overwhelm, anxiety, fear, then this workshop will be very helpful for you. 

We’ll be working on how to have more control over your emotional responses to life, how to establish a breathing routine every day in just 10 minutes, how to manage stress and anxiety.

One of the reasons we think the way that we do is because we aren’t managing our emotional responses to our lives, and then our brain is going crazy with those thought tornados, which then leads us to feel more stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and then that affects our thoughts, and the cycle continues. 

A few minutes of breathing every day can really help. 

There are very few body functions we can directly control in order to change how we are feeling. Changing the way we are breathing is one of those. It’s huge. Don’t miss out on this workshop!

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

The Five Things to Focus on When Your Child Leaves the LDS Church:

5. Be a safe place

4. Move in closer

3. Stay at the tree

2. Focus on the good fruit

1. Deal with yourself first

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information