Why It’s So Hard to Leave an Abusive Relationship; Reflections on Surviving Kidnapping and Escaping the Clutches of a Narcissistic Sociopath with Kristi Christensen
Ever wonder why victims of abuse often remain with their abusers? The answer may lie in an insidious psychological phenomenon known as trauma bonds. We discuss research and Patrick Carnes' book, "Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships." These unhealthy emotional ties, forged in fear and a primal need to survive, can be incredibly difficult to break. Join us as we shed light on their chilling formation, from the manipulative love-bombing stage to the point where the bond solidifies. Explore the primitive parts of our nervous system at play and delve into the compelling dynamics that drive victims of abuse deeper into these bonds.
This episode also brings the abuse cycle, cognitive dissonance, and the concept of intermittent positive reinforcement under the microscope. Armed with insights from Lundy Bancroft's enlightening book 'Why Does He Do That?', we navigate the baffling mood changes of the abuser and the consequent emotional turmoil faced by the victim. From feelings of low self-esteem to fear of retribution, we examine the daunting barriers that make breaking free a Herculean task. Look out for signs that might indicate you or someone you know is caught in a trauma bond and understand the abuse of power that often lurks within these relationships.
But there's always a way out. In the final leg of this episode, we focus on strategies to shatter these toxic bonds. Through establishing a safety plan, setting boundaries, and seeking support, victims can reclaim their lives from the clutches of abuse. Listen to the heartening story of Christy Christensen, who bravely managed to sever her trauma bond. Remember, it is possible to break free and start anew - tune in, find hope, and heal with us on the Hero Within podcast.
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Wishing you lots of love on your own hero’s journey,
xoxo, Karen
Thanks so much for listening! Please share this episode with your loved ones and spread the love to bless others!
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Connect with Kristi Christensen
Kristi states, "I was born to an empath and a narcissist/sociopath, and my mother tried to kill my dad and he had my mom committed. They both lost custody and I lived in a foster home for a year. Then my mother won custody and was going to move to Japan so my dad kidnapped me and my brother for 6 years. The FBI found us in the Ozarks in 1995 in a survivalist situation and returned us to our mother. Eight years later, the cops removed me from the home when my mom attacked me viciously and I was homeless for a year. I married and divorced 4 times from age 18-24 and the last marriage was super abusive. He is a super rich rancher in a small town in Utah." She divorced and is in the middle of legal battles for custody of her 2 children.
Instagram: @fairybrowmother