The Parenting Reframe

What we talk about with Andra: 

• The connection between allergies of all kinds and eczema.
• How gut flora can trigger eczema in individuals. 
• Changing nutrition options for more digestible and seasonal foods.
• Methods of treating the skin in a holistic way to provide relief.
• Identifying what triggers eczema flare ups within your environment and how to make changes.
• Practicing moderation to keep eczema flare ups to a minimum.
• Things to avoid and stop using in your home to help prevent eczema flare ups.
• Inflammatory responses to foods and drinks.
• Advice about parenting picky eaters when it comes to nutritious foods.

You can find Andra on her website https://eczemakids.com/

You can also check out her podcast, Eczema Kids: https://eczemakids.com/podcast

Sign up for my Emotion Regulation Workshop here: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/emotion-regulation-essentials

Check out the Team Supercrew book set: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZZ1938R/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

In this episode, I have a conversation with Robin Hilmantel, the senior director of editorial strategy at BabyCenter, focused on the gaps in postpartum care, the child care crisis, and how mothers are still carrying the load of parenting. BabyCenter is a website and app focused on providing answers and creating community around pregnancy, baby concerns, and childhood needs. They conduct research within their millions of members to be your partner in parenting well beyond the baby years. As a mother of three, she has insight into how moms face unique challenges each day.

What we go over with Robin: 

• The ways mothers usually feel the shift from pregnancy being all about supporting mom to all about baby after birth.
• How many moms feel unprepared to bring a baby home and care for themselves in the weeks following giving birth.
• The disparities in maternal care for different demographics and the variety of ways health care providers pass along mothers who voice their concerns to other providers.
• The difference in anxiety levels mothers experience depending on their maternity or parental leave from their jobs.
• How the United States differs from other countries in terms of maternity leave and parental leave.
• What to look and ask for when it comes to employment and maternity leave and how to advocate for yourself and your rights.
• Where moms can find connection with other moms for support and resources.
• Ways the child care crisis is affecting moms as they carry the burden of finding care for their children.
• The “Childcare Cliff” and how it has affected child care centers when funding is removed.
• Ways you can advocate for the change you want to see in regards to affordable child care and other systemic issues.
• New and changing social trends with pregnancy and motherhood.

You can download the BabyCenter App from the App Store on both iOS and Google or visit the BabyCenter website at https://www.babycenter.com 

Resources: 

Postpartum Support Survey: https://www.babycenter.com/presscenter/babycenter-emily-oster-postpartum-support-survey-press-release_41001496

Chamber of Mothers - https://www.chamberofmothers.com/

Check out the Team Supercrew book set: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZZ1938R/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

In this episode, I sat down to talk with Mikki Gardner, author of the book The People Pleasers Guide to Co-Parenting Well. Mikki is a certified life, and conscious parenting coach committed to walking alongside moms post-divorce and separation. She wants to help moms parent their children in a calm, clear, and confident way regardless of what their co-parent is or is not doing. She uses tools and strategies to navigate this process that come from her own personal experiences. Mikki firmly believes that every parent has the opportunity to create a harmonious environment for their child. 

What we go over with Mikki: 

• Moving out of the role as a fix-it parent and being able to sit in your own discomfort when it comes to challenges.
• Using the 3 A’s (Awareness, Agency, and Aligned Action) to help put a stop to the blame game when dealing with an ex.
• Stepping out of reactivity and stepping into response-ability to settle in and learn how to deal with feeling triggered.
• Not “should-ing” the situation to avoid assumptions or expectations from ourselves or others including our kids and co-parents.
• How to reframe our beliefs that our way is the right way to do things, especially in the context of co-parenting.
• The focus of many co-parents on what they have to do in comparison to what their co-parent does or does not do and shifting to what you want your home and relationship with your children to look like.
• Recognizing patterns to create a plan for a more peaceful co-parenting.
• Realizing divorce has a grief process attached to it that requires compassion, time, and reflection.
• Ways to calm your nervous system down in times of heightened stress or conflict.
• How over- or under-functioning can occur because of a lack of trust in ourselves and how to build back that confidence in ourselves.

You can find Mikki on Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/mikkigardner

And on her website https://www.mikkigardner.com/

You can also check out her podcast, Co-Parenting With Confidence: https://www.mikkigardner.com/podcast

Check out the Team Supercrew book set: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZZ1938R/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

Happy 2024! This is the first episode of the new year and I’m so excited to be back with you. In this episode, I am talking all about raising strong willed kids. I feel so passionately about this topic that I am doing a group coaching program starting this month all about how to raise strong willed kids more effectively. The reality of the situation is conventional parenting advice just isn’t that effective when it comes to parenting a strong willed kid. Parents of strong willed kids seek out advice or methods to make their lives better and more manageable. However, the results of trying these conventional tactics leave them feeling defeated or scrambling for other ideas of what to do next. Here are just some of the topics related to raising strong willed kids that you won’t want to miss:

Giving Choices

• There’s nothing wrong with giving choices but the advice is over-given to the point where it isn’t useful anymore. 
• Too many choices is the opposite of what a strong willed child wants. 
• Strong willed kids want to feel like they’re the ones in charge. 
• When there are too many options, they begin to feel scared, out of control, and everything feels overwhelming. 
• Who is the safe person? Where is the boundary? 
• They are looking for stability and for someone else to be in power with them. 
• Strong willed kids value power over approval. 

Setting Boundaries

• With strong willed kids, boundaries have to be clear with clear actions or consequences when the boundary is broken. 
• We cannot rely on a lot of language or explanations because strong willed kids are smart. Explanations won’t change the outcome or the behavior. 
• You must hold the boundary for an extended period of time. On average, we give up trying after three attempts at a new method without a “positive” result.
• We associate dysregulation with something not working in our parenting and change our method or use fear-based tactics. 

Staying Calm

• A dysregulated child will not calm down with a dysregulated adult. The biggest thing you can do is stay calm when your child is struggling or having a big outburst. 
• A calm parent will help a child calm down ten times faster than a dysregulated parent.
• When the parent is dysregulated, the strong willed child’s negative emotions are either rewarded or completely shut down and do not learn how to process hard emotions. 
• We want to help our kids be able to sit with their emotions. 

Here are the details on January Group Coaching: 

• Group coaching is limited to a small group of only 10 people to help build connection and lean on one another. The goal is to grow a community where you feel supported and connected to other parents going through the same things as you. 
• I’ll give you real tools to implement in your home. It’s a hands-on approach to help you learn new methods for parenting your strong willed child.  
• There will be four sessions that meet once a week for one month. 

Resources: 

Sign up for the January Group Coaching waitlist: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe

Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf

If you would like to do my 2 month 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

This is the last episode of 2023 (can you even believe it?!) and I am so completely filled with gratitude for every single one of you who have grown my community this year. In this episode, I am talking all about coaching. I get a lot of questions in my social media DMs and my email inbox about what I offer as a coach and how the process works. I didn’t plan on becoming a parenting coach but once I started leaning into it and taking on one-to-one clients, my passion for coaching really expanded.

What one-on-one coaching looks like:

• Over a two-month period, you receive 5, one hour calls over Zoom.
• Calls are every other week so you have the opportunity to practice the tools we talk about. 
• You have full texting access to me in real time over the course of 2 months. I can walk you through scenarios that come up between calls in real time. 
• This process is very hands-on. I want you to be fully supported throughout our two months together. 
• This is a completely judgment-free zone. It’s a safe space; don’t hold back on your thoughts and feelings. 

Some of the things we cover in one-on-one coaching:

• Unpacking the root causes and looking at the strategies we will put in place. 
• How do we move from a reactive place to a responsive place? 
• How to meet our kids' needs while working on ourselves. 
• Things you don’t find in a parenting book like reparenting tools and mindfulness.
• Working on dismantling societal and cultural expectations to make the best choices for yourself and your family. 

Group coaching is returning in January! Here are some of the benefits of group coaching:

• More affordable pricing
• Meets once a week for a month - four sessions total.
• Themed sessions like gaining cooperation while simultaneously gaining connection.
• You’re surrounded by other parents who are in your shoes.
• Groups are capped at 10 people to create a small, well-connected group where I can offer the most support.

Coming up in 2024:

• Group coaching for parents of teens and tweens. How to connect, how to parent, and how to reparent yourself if you’re struggling with your teen or tween. 
• More webinars coming in 2024 as well! 

As always, I offer a free 20-minute discovery call to see if coaching is right for you. If you’re not quite ready to sign up for a group or one-on-one coaching, set up a time to talk with me about your needs and find out how I can help you. 

Resources: 

Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

Check out my free PARR Workshop download with tons of great tools and resources: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-parr-workshop-download

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe

This is a mini-episode where we talk all about helping our kids feel comfortable with making mistakes. Many of us have kids that are absolutely terrified of making even small mistakes in all kinds of situations. Tasks without a clear outcome, the possibility of there being a wrong answer, or simply being incorrect might lead your child to feel terribly, lash out, or become combative. When we take a wider look, we need to examine how we as parents feel about making mistakes. In this short episode, I go over the three pillars of how fear of making mistakes is created in kids and ways to help them get over these fears. 

The 3 Pillars for Combatting The Fear of Making Mistakes: 

1. How do you as an adult feel when you make a mistake? 

• Kids sense and feel more than they see and hear. 
• Think of the way your energy changes when you hear you’ve done something incorrectly. 
• Kids pick up on this and are tuned into your energy - tone of voice changes, lack of excitement, etc. This is especially true when they are a deeply feeling or highly empathetic child.
• Talk through it out loud with your child to see the positive end to the mistake and walk them through the process of how you’re feeling in the moment and how to feel better. 
• Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t have all the answers in the moment! 

2. How much space do you leave for your kids to make a mistake? 

• This is really important for kids who don’t like making mistakes and have an adverse reaction to it. 
• We as parents try to save our kids from making mistakes because we don’t like to see our kids struggling. 
• When you see the struggle happening, let it happen even though it’s hard. 
• Your kids need the experience of making mistakes. By doing this, they will be able to feel what it’s like to make the mistake, learn how to work through it, and ultimately learn that it’s okay to make mistakes. 
• Consider this: where is the perception of being right all the time getting in the way? Do you feel your child always has to be correct at school, a sport, etc.?

3. You want to be cognizant of how you treat other people when they make mistakes. 

• The way you behave in public situations like at a store or restaurant when someone makes a mistake is incredibly important. Your kids are perceiving the way you react to people making mistakes. 
• Many times it happens the most between couples with everyday tasks. Sighing, rolling your eyes, and how we communicate between each other when mistakes happen can signal to your child how they might be treated when they make a mistake. 
• You are their safety net and where they learn morals and values. Even in the safest environment, what does it look like when mistakes happen and how does the reaction come out? 
• It’s in the subtle ways we react that kids notice the most. 

It won’t happen overnight, but with small changes over time to the way you perceive and make mistakes as the parent, you will see sustainable and lasting change with your kids in the way they view mistakes as well.

Resources: 

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, I sat down to chat with Kelsey Murphy, a dear friend of mine. She is a business coach who helps people start their own coaching/consulting businesses. She teaches coaches how to discover their passions and positively impact people’s lives. When I first considered coaching parents, I reached out to Kelsey Murphy for more insight because I loved her energy. She has so many great tips and information about how to get started on your own business ventures as a mom.

What we talk about with Kelsey: 

• Balancing motherhood with your personal and/or career interests.
• Reflecting on your own expectations and comparing them to what you want and need in your present season of life. 
• How to get over the hurdle of deciding how to start a business while managing the mental load of motherhood.
• Shifting your mindset from “I can’t” to “I can.”
• Holding boundaries and being intentional about your time. 
• Leaning into the excitement you feel for certain ideas and building it into your long-term future and values. 
• Managing feelings of mom guilt in the midst of working towards your own goals and fostering excitement for things you want to do.
• Reframing our ideas of what motherhood looks like for ourselves in the present moment as compared to how we were parented. 

Where to find Kelsey: 

Her website: www.Kelseymurphy.com

Or on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kelseymurphy/

Resources mentioned in this episode:

To Be Magnetic by Lacy Phillips - https://tobemagnetic.com/

For more parenting advice, check out my website www.theparentingreframe.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe

and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

In this episode, I had the pleasure to chat with Faten Saad, a social worker, mom of three, and my personal friend. Faten is the founder of Authentically at Peace, a social media platform, where she is dedicated to helping women through mental health issues and parenting struggles. She shares her insights about reframing parenting, how multigenerational trauma can affect the way we parent, and how she uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help her clients and all moms reconsider the way they parent today.  

What we go over with Faten: 

• The overwhelm of parenting and how it’s attributed to nervous system dysregulation.
• How trauma presents in a parent’s journey and how to reframe those thoughts. 
• Reflecting on the way we were parented and how generational trauma can be passed down and affect the way we parent today. 
• Creating awareness around intergenerational trauma and realizing smaller events may have caused trauma. 
• Having compassion for yourself when you’re reparenting yourself.
• Taking feelings of blame and shame and looking at them from a place of curiosity rather than judgment in order to feel validation for your emotions.  
• Grounding yourself as a parent when your child’s behaviors or emotions make you uncomfortable and allowing them the space and support to work through those feelings.
• Labeling children’s attributes limits the ways we can parent them “terrible twos” 
• What setting boundaries look like for different types of parents and finding a middle ground.
• Common cognitive behavioral therapy tools parents can use in their everyday lives.

Faten’s resources: 

• Dr. Gabor Matte - https://drgabormate.com/
• Dr. Nicole LePera - https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/?hl=en
• Dr. Shefali - The Conscious Parent - https://www.drshefali.com/the-conscious-parent/
• Patrick Teahan Therapy - https://www.instagram.com/patrickteahantherapy/?hl=en

You can find Faten on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@authenticallyatpeace

and on Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/authentically_atpeace/ 

She provides resources to positively impact moms through their parenting journey.

For more information about reframing parenting, check out my free PARR Webinar https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-parr-workshop-download

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

In this episode we discuss her book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good. It was a dream come true for me to interview New York Times Bestselling Author Elise Loehnen. In this episode we discuss her book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good. Elise discusses how her childhood, interactions in her professional and personal life as an adult, and working with her therapist inspired the idea for this book. We take a look at the ways women police themselves and others in order to be perceived as good and nice rather than mad, mean, or angry. This insightful and thought-provoking episode will leave you asking questions about the way you interact with the world around you. You won’t want to miss this one! 

What we talk about with Elise Loehnen on On Our Best Behavior:

• The reasons why women are coded for niceness and men are coded for power.
• How women use high achievement to try and attain a place of security.
• Patriarchy and how it shows up depending on gender in different ways.
• What are the codes of goodness? 
• Why the seven deadly sins cause women to conform to the societal requirement for niceness.
• How envy comes up in subtle ways when talking about other women and is the gateway to all of the other sins. 
• The ties between the different sins and how they can compound issues or feelings towards others. 
• Scarcity and the feelings of anxiety when others have or do what we want.
• Denying our wants and desires instead of owning them.
• What goodness looks like as a mom and how many moms get in their own way as a parent while trying to reach an unattainable goal.
• How we parent kids is affecting their ability to be creative, imaginative, manage being lonely or bored
• Why girls are more likely to mask and conform at young ages compared to boys of the same age.
• Raising daughters with the duality of good work ethic and being gentle and kind with yourself. 

Learn more about Elise Loehnen - https://www.eliseloehnen.com/

Get the book - On Our Best Behavior by Elise Loehnen

Follow Elise on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/eliseloehnen/

Subscribe to Elise’s newsletter, Pulling the Thread, on Substack - https://eliseloehnen.substack.com/

Pulling the Thread Podcast - https://chartable.com/podcasts/pulling-the-thread-with-elise-loehnen

About Elise: 

Elise Loehnen Fissmer is a writer and editor living in Los Angeles with her husband, Rob, and their sons, Max and Sam. She is the host of Pulling the Thread podcast, where she interviews cultural luminaries on the big questions of the day. She’s co-written 12 books, including five New York Times Best Sellers. Her first book under her own name, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good, was also an instant New York Times bestseller. She’s held many other titles including the chief content officer of goop, editorial projects director of Condé Nast Travelereditor, and deputy editor of Lucky Magazine. These days, she spends her time writing, reading, consulting, doing board work, and fundraising for causes and politicians focused on environmental action, social justice, women and children’s health, and a more equitable world.

Resources:

I hope you found this episode insightful. For more conversations about motherhood and parenting, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter: https://albiona.substack.com/

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok: @theparentingreframe

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

Separation anxiety is a normal part of childhood, but it can be difficult for both parents and children to handle. It's important to reframe separation anxiety as an opportunity to teach your child important life skills, such as how to manage their emotions and cope with change. When you approach separation anxiety with compassion and understanding, you're helping your child to develop a strong sense of security and trust.

Ways to Help Separation Anxiety

• Create a goodbye ritual. This could be something as simple as giving your child a hug, kiss, and telling them you'll be back soon.
• Practice short separations. Start by leaving your child for a few minutes at a time and gradually increase the length of the separations.
• Talk to your child about their fears. Let them know that it's okay to feel anxious, and that you'll be there for them when they need you.
• Reassure your child that you'll always come back.
• Make sure your child has a trusted caregiver when you're away.
• Be patient and understanding. Separation anxiety can be difficult for both parents and children. It's important to remember that your child is not trying to be difficult. They are simply expressing their love for you and their fear of being away from you.
• Be consistent. Try to stick to the same goodbye ritual and separation schedule each day. This will help your child to feel more secure and predictable.
• Be positive. Try to focus on the positive aspects of separation, such as the fun things your child will do while you're away.
• This is a way to teach your children that you, as a parent, have a life of your own as well. You shouldn’t feel guilty for this.

Resources:

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, I am had the pleasure to have Ana Lorena Fabrega, the author of the book "The Learning Game" on and talk about how she is reframing education. Ana is an edupreneur and writer who is passionate about rethinking education. She shares her insights on the current state of education, the skills kids need for the future, and how parents can help their kids thrive in school.

What we go over with Ana on Reframing Education:

• The traditional school system is not preparing kids for the future.
• Kids need to learn how to think critically, solve problems, and be creative.
• Parents can help their kids learn by providing them with opportunities to explore their interests and by being their biggest cheerleaders.
• There are many alternative educational options available, such as homeschooling, online learning, and microschools.
• Talk to your kids about their interests and how you can help them learn.
• Find an alternative educational option that is right for your family.

Bio:

Ana Lorena Fabrega is an  edupreneur, writer, and Chief Evangelist at Synthesis. Growing up, she attended ten schools in seven different countries. She then earned her BS in Childhood Education and Special Education from New York University and taught elementary school in New York, Boston, and Panama. Today, Ana Lorena, known by her students as Ms. Fab, writes online to over 200,000 readers about the promise of alternative education. You can follow her on Twitter at @anafabrega11

Read Ana's book "The Learning Game" https://afabrega.com/

Visit the Synthesis website to learn more about their online school.

https://www.synthesis

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

In the latest episode, we are are going over parenting tools to be a better parent. I’m talking to reactive parents who are looking for a better way to navigate their day. My 4-step process PARR (pause, acknowledge, respond, reflect) is what I taught myself and ultimately other parents to move from reactive to responsive. I share personal examples and use this minisode to highlight the important aspects to PARR.

What I cover on the parenting tools to be a better parent

- The importance of recognizing why you’re reactive
- Identifying your triggers will help you to stay calm
- The first step of PARR, pausing, will look different depending on the phase of parenting you’re in
- How to decide the best way to pause
- Pausing and then acknowledging your state will shift the way you respond
- Reflecting is critical and you want to do it when you’ve had time away from the event
- PARR is effective with all communication partners not just your kids
- It can help you to become a better listener and more thoughtful in the way you show up not just for your kids but others

Link’s mentioned in the show:
You can book a free call here to learn more about coaching and how PARR can help you
The Free PARR download
Other Parenting Resources
Subscribe to my Substack Newsletter

This is a mini-episode. We are going over tips to help alleviate the stress that comes during the back to school season. We know this can be a stressful time for our kids, which in turns makes it stressful for the parents. Our kids feel our emotions, so if we are stressed, they are feeling this. Practical tips on how to handle this will be shared. We also discuss getting back to a school schedule after the summer and how to handle being overwhelmed, knowing when to say no and why it’s important to break some of the rules during this time. I’m wishing everyone a great school year and if you need some extra help, you can book a call with me.

Back-school-tips to help parents and kids

#1 Tip: Take some time to check in with yourself and acknowledge your stress during this chaotic time of year. Your kids sense and feel your emotions. 

• When you have the kid that doesn’t like school, you tend to be more reactive. Instead learn ways to listen to your kids using empathy.
• Try to think of times when you have to do things you really don’t want to do so you can understand how your child is feeling.
• Give yourself a few moments a day to really see what’s coming up for you and how you are feeling.
• Use storytelling to help. Let your kids know how it felt when you went through it as a kid or how you feel when you’re starting something new. It’s a great way to connect.
• Talk to your kids about how they feel in general about going back to school.

#2 Tip:  Get back on your sleep schedule

• If you can, start 10 days before the first day of school and start shifting their bed time back in small increments so it’s not detected by your kiddos.
• If you weren’t able to do the shift, adjust your mindset to know that the first week back is going to be a little rough.
• Be prepared for big emotions until they adjust to their new sleep schedule. Use PARR, Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect to help with this.

# 3 Tip: Letting Go when you are feeling overwhelmed

• Going back to school can be a stressful time for both parents and children. Dealing with all the emails and meet the teachers, and buying all the supplies can be so overwhelming.
• I wrote an article for Detroit that goes over how to let go when life gets overwhelming, linked below. Here are some tips from it.
  • Really get clear on your priorities.
  • Do a rear view mirror test, Author Light Watkins has a test where you envision yourself 10 years from now and ask yourself what do you really want to remember about right now in this day.
  • This helps to really ask what do I need, which most mothers don’t sit with or ask themselves. It is so important for mothers to do this.
• Give yourself permission to break the rules when routines change, it’s hard for everyone.
• Don’t make it the week to set rules about screentime, it’s ok to break some rules for this week.
• Plan check-ins with yourself on how things are going. Go over what worked and what didn’t, what is really important.
• Take the time to see what is really a priority in your week, and say no when things don’t work with your schedule.
• When you do this and become really intentional about your time, you will really show up for what you commit to.
• I hope everyone adjusts quickly to going back to school and also has a great school year!

Resources:

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

My article referenced in the podcast. https://www.hourdetroit.com/fitness-wellness/learn-to-let-go-when-life-is-overwhelming/

Here is the link to Light Watkins site to check out his challenge that I talked about. https://www.lightwatkins.com/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

This is a mini-episode where I went over questions from my audience to ask me anything about parenting. We go over how to handle breaks when your child wants to run away and how to help your 18-month-old understand the consequence even though they don’t understand language yet. We also go over how to handle sibling fighting and much more. This was a fun episode, and I will be doing more of these. If you have any questions, please reach out to me!  

What we go over on ask me anything about parenting:

How to help with your child when they run away when you try to do a “break,” per Joe Newman’s process in helping strong-willed kids to help correct or improve a behavior.  

A break is a way to help your child reset - it is not a punishment. This is to help teach self-regulation.  

How to stop the fighting between siblings.  

We go over my view on sibling battles and how it is very triggering to parents.  

How we have to teach siblings to disagree calmly and correctly.  

Why you don’t want to blame anyone and have questions to ask to help to understand why the fighting is happening.  

How to stop an inappropriate behavior immediately when they are not listening.  

Why whining is so triggering to parents, it can bring up thoughts of bad parenting.  

How to explain behaviors to my 18-month-old when they don’t have the language skills yet to understand it?  

Why explanations are not consequences  

How children learn through actions and experiences

We review an example of how to handle a tantrum without a lengthy explanation.  

Redirecting an 18-month-old is a helpful tool, and staying calm will help with these situations.  

How to get your child to stop headbanging or other behaviors when they are having a tantrum.

This is a normal behavior for children and does mean that something is always wrong.  

3 must-dos when they are in the middle of this behavior to help.  

Using PARR, Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect is essential in these situations to help your child regulate their emotions and yours.

My favorite Proteins for my smoothies: Be Well by Kelly & Garden of Life  

I was asked if I watch tv, and I love to watch tv! The Bear is my new favorite. Make sure to check it out.

My favorite Podcasts: Pulling the Thread, Raising Good Humans, Cathy Heller, We Can Do Hard Things  

Resources:  

We go over breaks from episode 29  with Joe Newman. Make sure to check it out if you haven’t. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-lions-with-joe-newman/id1608790325?i=1000612430664

Podcasts that I reference:

Pulling the Thread https://www.eliseloehnen.com/episodes

Raising Good Humans https://draliza.com/

Cathy Heller https://www.cathyheller.com/blog/

We Can Do Hard Things https://wecandohardthingspodcast.com/

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

We are talking about balancing being a mom and an entrepreneur in this episode with my friend Emily, another Detroit mom. This was such an exciting episode to hear Emily’s journey of the early start of social media management and where she ended up. We go over the positive and negative of social media,and safety for your children. We go over how Emily balances her life and work with baby #4 on the way, all while writing a fiction book. This is a great conversation to hear a success story from a mother doing it all, we need more of this to keep inspiring other moms to go after what they love to do. 

What we go over on:

• Emily’s exciting journey to where she is now.
• The high expectations we put on ourselves as mothers.
• What balance really looks like as a mother. 
• We discuss the book ‘On Our Best Behaviour’ by Elise Loehnen - she goes over how are value is rooted in our productivity.
• How to handle the writing without letting your head get in the way.
• Just keep doing what you are passionate about and you will get better as you go.
• You have to have a lot of courage and heart, there will always be critics but you just show up and keep doing what you are doing. 
• The only way to get better is to get comfortable with being green at one point and know that you will get better. 
• We need more mothers doing what they love with work and having a family to pave th way for other mothers to do the same. 
• The good of one is the good of the whole, every mother has their own personal story and there is room for everyone. Women need to get out of the competition and envious mindset of each other.
• Emily talks about the positives and negatives of Social media, especially after being a part of the original team with Social media management and ads. 
• We go over about sharing your children on social media. 
• Finding your balance on what works for you when using social media and which platform works best for you and your niche. 
• How having one main hub for your content is important. 
• Elizabeth Gilbert book ‘Big Magic’ - she believes that ideas are a living breathing thing.
• How mothers are the unsung heroes with the work they do every day.
• Emily’s journey of writing her fiction book. 

More about Emily Kay 

Emily Kay is a creative consultant who specializes in digital marketing and content creation for brands, and is also a professional writer who is currently working on her debut novel. 

She currently lives in metro Detroit with her husband and their three children, with their 4th and final baby due in October. 

LINKS:

Website: http://isntthatcharming.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isntthatcharming/

Resources:

Here is the link to find out more about the book we discuss by Elise Loehnen https://www.eliseloehnen.com/onourbestbehavior

Here is the link to find out more about what we discussed on Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic. https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

We are talking about tips for parents of strong-willed kids in this mini-episode. Some kids want approval, while others want power. As a parent, it can be very challenging to know how to help your child navigate their big feelings. Having strong boundaries for your strong-willed child is vital in helping them, even though this may be challenging for you as the parent. We will go over some ways to help. 

What we go over on tips for parents of strong-willed kids:

• Strong-willed kids don’t value approval; they value power. This really stood out to me from my talks with Joe Newman.
• A strong-willed child may be having significant behaviors, tantrums, and meltdowns. This means they need even stronger boundaries.
• When you have a first child who seeks approval and then a second child who wants power, you have to approach each child differently, which can be challenging.
• Most parenting models are based on the child who seeks approval, not power.
• When your child is acting up, they are asking you to help them anchor and calm down.
• Don’t talk in the moment. Set the boundary, show empathy, and then let them regulate their emotions.
• The longer you wait to set boundaries for strong-willed children, the harder it will be.
• Teach self-regulation practices when a child is calm.
• Joe Newman teaches breaks, where you let your child take a break for a minute so they can calm down. This helps teach them how to regulate their emotions.
• Coaching can be so helpful in navigating strong-willed children to get all the pieces of the puzzle to help your child and you out.

Resources:

Check out Episode 29 to hear the whole conversation with Joe Newman. This is not an episode to miss if you have a strong-willed kiddo! https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-29-raising-lions-with-joe-newman/

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

We are talking on this mini-episode about how to respond to rude behavior from your children. This is a very popular subject, and I got a lot of questions and comments on this one. We will go into more detail on how to respond when your child is talking back rudely and why this can be so triggering to parents. We will also discuss how you should handle this differently with a child who is strong-willed and children who are seeking approval. 

What we go over on how to respond to rude behaviour:

• How rude talk is very triggering as a parent.
• If you don’t have a process to stay calm as a parent, this can lead to energy matching from your child.
• Why my method PARR is such an important practice to help stay calm in these situations. See below for the free training.
• Using PARR does not mean not holding boundaries; it is there to help you respond with a more positive response.
• Your kids are not in trouble for the way they feel. Having feelings doesn’t yield punishments. But there are consequences for their actions.
• We want to have consequences for our children, not punishments that feel punitive in nature.
• Dr. Becky says when you say your child is not respecting me, what you are really saying is my child doesn’t fear me.
• Using fear will work in the short term but has consequences in the long term.
• How using fear affects the child who is seeking approval.
• If you have a strong-willed child, fear-based methods will not work.
• Why over-explaining to your children does not help.
• 9 out of 10 times, when a parent says they didn’t get an explanation, you really needed to be seen and not ashamed.
• Make sure to sign up for my  webinar on how to help with your strong willed child, link below.

Resources:

You can grab the free recording here and learn what PARR is, how it can be implemented in your home, and what tools you need to transform from yelling, overwhelmed, and exhausted to responsive, connected and joyful.

My webinar on How to respond to strong willed kids will be on June 29th, at 5 pm EST/ 2 pm PST. Make sure you are signed up for my newsletter for all the information and here is the link to sign up for it. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/live-webinar-raising-a-strongwilled-child.  

I reference Dr. Becky’s quote in this podcast, make sure to check out her Website, IG page and book for more helpful information on parenting. https://www.goodinside.com/

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

We are talking on this episode about how to help regulate your child’s emotions. This is not a skill children are born with it develops. We will go over some tips and tools on how to help your child navigate their emotions, and we also go over some ways to help you the parent stay calm. Please excuse my dog, every time I do an episode about tantrums, he has one too! 

What we go over on how to regulate your child’s emotions:

• What is self-regulation for a child?
• What are signs that a child has good or bad self-regulations skills.
• The core of why most children are having tantrums and issues is that they are needing to gain the ability to regulate their emotions.
• Joe Newman talks about how when a child has too much power, they don’t know what to do with it. They are really reaching their hand out to their parent when they have too much power and asking who is going to meet my hand, by enforcing a firm boundary and staying consistent. Check out Episode 29 for more about this. 
• Why children need strong boundaries. 
• How the different ways parents grew up affect parenting styles. 
• How suppressed emotions affect your parenting. 
• How being inconsistent with your child confuses your child.
• Why explaining during a tantrum is not helpful. 
• Make sure to validate and show empathy when your child is having big emotions. 
• If you are feeling anxious when you know a tantrum is coming, your child will feel this as well. This is when you have to stay calm and anchored. 
• What to do when your child is hitting you. 
• Know that the tantrums will get bigger when you start to let them regulate and be prepared to be calm to help them through it. 
• It is ok to walk away during a tantrum, as long as it’s not a punishment. 
• Why using my method PARR is so important to help stay calm when handling tantrums and hard emotions. PARR is Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect
• Really pinpoint what is coming up for you so you can navigate stressful situations more effectively. 
• It does get easier when your child learns to self-regulate, I promise you. 
• You have to let your child do the hard part, let them go through the emotions. 
• I am opening up more spots for my 8-week 1:1 coaching so make sure to book your free call, link in the resources below. 

Resources:

I reference Episode 29 - Raising Lion with Joe Newman, make sure to check out this episode for tips on how to set boundaries for your strong-willed child. https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-29-raising-lions-with-joe-newman/

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

We are talking with Dr. Derek Daniels about stuttering in children. He focuses on public perceptions of stuttering and factors that influence the psychosocial experiences of individuals who stutter. We will review some excellent tips on how to help your child navigate this journey. 

What we go over about stuttering:

• How stuttering is misunderstood in our society with so much misinformation
• The definition of stuttering.
• There are some kids outgrow it, and some don’t.
• What is the best course if your child is stuttering?
• Why making space for the child to talk is so important.
• Don’t correct your child’s speech and let them enjoy talking.
• Watch how you are handling the stress and reactions in front of your child.
• Stuttering is not brain damage when we talk about neurological. Nothing is wrong. The brain is just more vulnerable.
• The aspects of stuttering that Dr. Daniels works on are stigma, acceptance, and advocacy.
• There are common microaggressions where people who stutter feel they need to defend themselves.
• Dr. Daniels tells his story of stuttering and what brought him to do his incredible work.
• Hiding and concealing were a big part of his life.
• The biggest takeaway from a child to an adult, it’s going to be ok.
• Just having conversations about stuttering is so essential to help break down the stigmas around stuttering.

Resources:

Learn more about Dr. Derek Daniels and resource for stuttering

Derek E. Daniels, Ph.D., CCC-SLP (he/him/his) dedaniels@wayne.edu

https://clasprofiles.wayne.edu/profile/dx5074

Associate Professor and Director of Graduate Studies (Graduate Officer)

Department of Communication Sciences and Disorders

Wayne State University

Vice President (V.P.) for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

Michigan Speech-Language-Hearing Association (MSHA)

Links of interest

American Speech-Language-Hearing Association-http://www.asha.org/

National Black Association for Speech-Language and Hearing (NBASLH)-http://www.nbaslh.org/

National Stuttering Association - http://www.westutter.org/

Camp Shout Out for Youth Who Stutter- http://www.campshoutout.org/

FRIENDS: The National Association for Young People Who Stutter-https://www.friendswhostutter.org/

MySpeech- https://myspeechapp.org/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

This was such a special episode for me to interview Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions. Joe tells us his story of growing up with ADHD and how he came to write his book. We discuss the importance of understanding connection and power. Joe discusses why boundaries are so important and how our past childhood experiences affect how we parent. We go over so much more in this jam-packed episode. This is not one you want to miss. I know there is so much you will take away from this episode.  

What we go over with Joe Newman on Raising Lions:

• Joe’s story about how he wrote his book Raising Lions and the work he does.
• Why it is so important to understand connection and power with your child.
• Why eggshell parenting isn’t helping with behavior - when the parent backs away from challenges and does anything not to have a tantrum.
• The reason why strong-willed children need stronger boundaries.
• Why you need to take parts of old school and new school parenting to actually make it work.
• How giving too many choices is not helpful.
• Why doing less is more helpful.
• How Joe reframed timeouts to breaks.
• Breaks - what they really are and how and when to use them.
• Why no doesn’t mean no when you don’t set boundaries.
• How to get kids to take breaks when they aren’t listening.
• It takes time to undo children’s behaviors. It can sometimes take multiple experiences.
• It’s always us, as parents, it’s so critical to understand the dynamic of how you are dealing with your child.
• We are still at the beginning of understanding children. This requires stepping out of old paradigms and looking for what works for you and your child.
• Ask yourself, is what you are currently doing working? And if not, what can you do to shift the lens on what you are doing?
• Why ADHD children usually have sleep struggles.
• Kids need different things, some need approval, and others need power.
• Your child is not always seeking attention from you.
• Look at your behavior and past experiences as a parent. This affects your child.
• Children don’t learn cognitively first. They learn from experiences.

Learn more about Joe Newman - Raising Lions https://www.raisinglions.com/

Youtube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/@raising_lions

Bio - Joe Newman likes kids with attitude because he was one. In 1970 he was diagnosed with ADHD & medicated.  His book, Raising Lions, is the culmination of a 30-year journey working with the most difficult kids and a desire to bring a new, more effective perspective to our educational institutions and families.  He teaches parents and teachers simple, practical methods to understand and motivate all our children.  In 2018 UCSB conducted a year-long study on how his method improved student behavior, motivation, and engagement in Pre-K through 6th-grade classrooms.  He’s been a guest on Radio Andy (Andy Cohen), goop podcast, The Tools with Barry Michels, and many other podcasts.  He’s spoken to audiences across the U.S., in Canada, Europe, Hong Kong, Bahrain, and Saudi Arabia. In 2020, Raising Lions reached number one in its category on Amazon. 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/