The Terri Cole Show

Have you ever wondered how to set boundaries without guilt?

Do you second-guess yourself when setting boundaries?

Or are you unsure of what boundaries you even need?

Then read on, my friend, because in this episode, I am answering the eight most common questions I get asked about boundaries.

Visit boundarybossworkbook.com to pre-order the Boundary Boss Workbook! By pre-ordering, you will get exclusive bonuses and send bookstores the message that boundaries matter!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/552

I am thrilled to welcome my favorite menopause doctor to the show: Dr. Mary Claire Haver. 

I have been obsessed with following her on Instagram because she shares so much helpful information for free. I know menopause is a topic you wanted to see more of and I couldn't be more excited to have Dr. Mary Claire here to set the record straight. 

For those who don't know, Dr. Mary Claire is a board-certified OBGYN who, after experiencing menopause and not being able to lose weight, went back to school at Tulane University to become a Certified Culinary Medicine Specialist. She went on to create The Galveston Diet, a three-pronged lifestyle plan that encourages fuel refocusing, intermittent fasting, and anti-inflammatory nutrition to manage hormonal symptoms, stabilize weight, and revitalize the body as it ages to provide benefits that will last a lifetime.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/551

Have you ever said, “I’ll start working out/meditating/eating better/going to bed earlier…” and didn’t follow through?

Where next week comes, and you’ve either forgotten about it or no longer feel like making the change?

If you experience this type of resistance and struggle to keep your word (to yourself and others), you are not alone. I was there in my 20s. 

But it is a sign of disordered internal boundaries, which could be robbing you of potential. 

In this episode, I break down the symptoms of having crappy internal boundaries and give you a 7-step process to kick resistance to the curb. Follow this process, and in time, you will reach your goals, feel better about yourself, and follow through on what you say you will do.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/550

I am psyched to welcome one of my nearest and dearest, master coach Josselyne Herman-Saccio. I met Josselyne during my talent agent days, and she has had a profound impact on my life. 

Growing up, Josselyn's parents separated. After attending transformational workshops, they got back together. Josselyn noticed they were completely changed by the experience, and attended her first transformational workshop at age 11. It was at her nudging that I attended mine, which led to me leaving my talent agent career behind to become a psychotherapist. 

Josselyn has taken the principles she learned in those transformational workshops to change people's lives. Her focus is on living the life you want NOW rather than a mysterious "someday" in the future. 

I hope you find our conversation as fascinating as I did.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/549

When someone comes to you with negative feedback, do you get defensive? 

Do you automatically come up with reasons why you did something, building a case for the way you did it?

Do you shift the blame onto someone else? 

Or does your heart start racing?

If this resonates, you are not alone. It is human to want to defend your choices, actions, and beliefs. 

But defensiveness damages our relationships, which is why this episode is all about becoming more aware of defensive behavior and what you can do instead.

I am covering the signs and symptoms of defensiveness, why we get defensive in the first place, and strategies you can use to become less defensive.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/548

I am so excited to welcome my pal, Dr. Alexandra Solomon, on the show to talk about her new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow and Thrive.

This conversation is all about love: how we can keep our love strong, what to do if it's not going so well, daily practices you can start doing today, and so much more. Dr. Alexandra Solomon and I discuss relational self-awareness, family of origin issues, and the difficulties of dating in a modern world.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/547

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode/blog contains a story about (gun) violence which may be triggering to survivors.

Many years ago, my husband and I were held up at gunpoint. 

I have mentioned it before, but I have never shared the full story because it was traumatic. 

When one of you asked me to share this experience, how it impacted my life, and how I recovered from it, I thought it might be time to share. 

By sharing my story of trauma and recovery, I hope to help others who have experienced a traumatic event.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/546

I am so excited to welcome my friend, Emily Fletcher, to the show to talk about Sacred sexuality, meditation, pleasure, and manifestation. Emily has been teaching meditation for the past 13+ years and recently started exploring how we can tap into our Sacred sexuality to manifest our dreams and desires. Don't worry- Emily breaks all of this down in a practical way and offers tips on how to get started during our conversation. Emily's perspective resonated so much, and for those of you who don't prioritize pleasure, I got you covered because I asked Emily about that, too. Enjoy!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/545

Is it difficult for you to say “no” to your parents, draw a boundary with a sibling, or set a limit with a cousin, aunt, or uncle?

Do you struggle to share your preferences, limits, desires, or deal-breakers with some of the people in your family?

If the answer is “yes,” this episode is for you. I am talking about the different kinds of disordered boundaries we often have in our families of origin and giving you ideas on how to get proactive so you can release yourself from these frustrating situations.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/544

Best-selling author Kris Carr is one of my nearest and dearest. We go way back to my talent agent days (I represented her).

Kris's newest book, I'm Not A Mourning Person:  Braving Loss, Grief, and the Big Messy Emotions That Happen When Life Falls Apart, is a beautiful read. I could not put it down, and I lived a lot of this book with Kris as it was happening. 

If you are experiencing grief of any kind, whether due to the loss of a loved one, the loss of your former self, or the loss of a job, I think you'll enjoy this heartfelt conversation.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/543

When should you stop trying to make it work with a partner who is seemingly uninterested in self-improvement?

What do you do when the love between you and your partner is no longer enough?

How can you keep yourself from falling back into old roles within your family of origin when visiting home, especially if you’ve grown and changed?

And when is it time to consider moving into independent living when you are a full-time caregiver for your spouse?

I answer all of these questions in this Q&A episode, which is all about relationship dynamics. Let’s dive in.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/542

Have you ever wondered, "Who am I, and why am I here?" If so, this interview is for you, my friend.

I am beyond excited to have Dr. Sara Kuburic, better known as The Millennial Therapist on Instagram, on the show to talk about her new book, It's On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life.

Sarah is an existential therapist and has had a lifelong interest in psychology. This book was inspired by a loss of self she experienced in her twenties, which she also saw in her therapy clients. If you've felt meaningless or purposeless, like you don't know yourself, then I invite you to tune in as Sara offers many tips on how to discover your sense of self.

I've loved her work for a while and I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/541

Do you assume everyone has the same values and moral compass as you? Do you assume everyone has good intentions?

Or do you assume other people are untrustworthy, even though you have no way of knowing?

Whether you are too trusting or more distrustful, this episode is for you. I am giving you questions to gain a deeper understanding of your downloaded trust blueprint, as well as tips to become more discerning about whom to trust.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/540

I am thrilled to welcome world-renowned Peloton instructor, Dr. Chelsea Jackson Roberts, to the show. We chat about Chelsea's yoga journey, what inspires her, the tragedy she endured in college, the rewards and challenges of motherhood, and so much more.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/539

Have you ever wondered what makes people vulnerable to trauma bonding?

Or how to tell if you are in a trauma-bonded relationship versus one based on mutuality or true love?

From the questions I've received, I know many of you want a deeper understanding of trauma-bonded relationships: What are the signs and symptoms, and what does it mean?

Listen for everything you need to know to protect yourself and your relationships.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/538

Our guest today excels in so many fields: He’s a former pro athlete, podcast host, published author, and father of nine kids. He’s also a respected personal development guide who helps people elevate their experiences and improve the ways that they show up for others. 

Today, we’re taking a deep dive into motivation– Both healthy and unhealthy. Kevin shares lessons from his own life, past and present, and we also touch on being mindfully driven rather than recklessly impulsive.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/537

A few weeks ago, Jonah Hill’s ex-girlfriend, Sarah Brady, shared a bunch of text messages he sent her when they were dating. Among them was the above list of “boundaries.” As you can imagine, this stirred up a lot of discussion online. 

I fell into a Reddit hole about it and was stunned by the amount of misinformation out there about boundaries. People are truly unaware of the differences between coercion, abuse, effective boundaries, and control, which is what this episode is about. 

I also talk about the signs of coercive control to watch for and why the Jonah Hill situation is more manipulative than it may seem.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/536

I am excited to share this conversation I had with fascia expert and Pilates Pro, Lauren Roxburgh.

My sister and I were turned onto Lauren's work at the beginning of the pandemic, and I intuitively knew fascia health was the missing link in my wellness. I love stalking Lauren's Instagram page to see what new practices I can integrate into my routine. 

This conversation was fascinating as Lauren shares the newest fascia research with us and explains how it has the potential to impact every aspect of our lives. (and bodies!)

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/535

Have you ever wondered when it is appropriate to cut your parents out of your life?

Do you feel like you missed out on life because you spent more time focusing on others than yourself?

Have you experienced multiple losses and feel overwhelmed with grief?

Or have you experienced unacknowledged sibling abuse? 

In this Q&A episode, I answer four questions from the community on these topics. Let’s dive in.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/534

I am so happy to have my pal and design expert, Sabrina Soto, back on the show. This conversation is more like a girlfriend jam as Sabrina and I talk about the effect of decluttering on your mental health, past relationship experiences, codependency, boundaries, manifesting, getting out of your comfort zone, and so much more. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/533