Tracks Of The Damned

Well it took us several weeks but we're finally here. We've had decapitations and double impalements and 3D yo-yos and now we've reached the thrilling conclusion of the Friday the 13th series and, with it, our commentary tracks.

(Wait, they made HOW many more after this? Oh geez.)

Yes, on this episode of Tracks of the Damned, the horror film commentary track podcast, we take a look at the least accurately titled slasher movie since Jason took Vancouver. But even if it wasn't the end of the series it was probably the series' peak, a perfect cocktail of sleaze, outlandish special effects and bombast, the kind that tastes great and fucks up your liver.

Plus we ask the hard questions like: What's the first rule of film-making? Why is that weird sexy aerobics in so many movies? And how long would it take you to learn Crispin Glover's impeccable choreography?

Rip it up!

0:00 - 3:41 - Intro
3:42 - 1:36:49 - Commentary Track
1:36:50 - 1:38:52 - Outro

Once, twice, three times a dopey slasher series but how are you gonna get the kids coming back to pay to see the same movie they already paid to twice before? The real answer is "Twice? Wait til you realize we can do this 8 more times!" but it's 1982, they don't know what they're sitting on yet. Instead they find a solution fitting their respect for the franchise: stick a bunch of goofy 3D gimmick shit in it!

Yes, it's time to talk about Friday the 13th: Part 3, the film that launched the series into what it would become. This is where they get the mask, this is where they up the body count, this is where they looked at all the critics complaining about the depraved violence in the first two films and decided to produce something that no one could possibly take seriously. If you like the cartoonish tone of later films, if you like the elaborate kills, if you like that this series eventually became the kind of thing they could cross over with The Evil Dead (in comic books, anyway) then you have this movie to thank.

On this episode of Tracks of the Damned, the horror film commentary track podcast, Patrick is joined by Pandabearshape.com's Regina Linn to ask the really hard questions like: What do you do when your 3D paddle ball gag doesn't work out? Who the hell are Chuck and Chili? And how can you tell if a Friday the 13th fansite is pro-life?

Go back from whence you came, I have warned thee!

0:00 - 3:58 - Intro
3:59 - 1:41:51 - Commentary
1:41:52 - 1:42:50 - Outro

It's an age-old question. Why do we keep pushing on that bruise, tonguing that sore, why do we watch movies we know we hate, movies we know hate us? We don't know, but there are few more mainstream horror films more hateful than Rob Zombie's Halloween.

Yes, kids, it's time to gaze into the abyss. Patrick may not like Rob Zombie's divisive 2007 remake of the Carpenter classic, but that hasn't stopped him from trying to figure it out, like some kind of Film Crit Sam Loomis trying to see what lurks behind the blackest eyes, the devil's eyes. So back in 2017, armed with a six pack of beer, he decided to dive deep in and ask really hard questions like

Why does no one in Haddonfield think Michael is coming back? What exactly is motivating this Michael Myers anyway? And how did Dee Wallace manage to walk into the movie and pull off it's only really good performance? All that and more on this episode of Tracks of the Damned, the horror film commentary track podcast!

TIME STAMPS
0:00 - 2:20 - 2020 Intro
2:21 - 4:36 - 2017 Intro
4:37 - 2:09:37 - Commentary
2:09:38 - 2:10:44 - 2020 Outro

It's slower than we'd like but the days are finally getting warmer, the clouds are beginning to part and that first lonesome call of the loon cracking across the valley indicates the summer must soon be here. Time for camp!

Yes Tracks of the Damned, the horror film commentary track podcast, is returning with this bonus episode recorded in 2019 that goes deep into the heart of New Jersey to Camp Crystal Lake with the indeliable Friday the 13th: Part 2. We're here to ask the really hard questions, like: What else did this movie rip-off from The Town That Dreaded Sundown besides the mask? Just how big is Crystal Lake anyway? And how many slasher movies have a final girl who is canonically menstruating for it's entire runtime?

All this and more as we watch the scariest Jason movie of all. Just like a Shih Tzu this podcast mysteriously vanished, but now it's back!

0:00 - 3:04 - 2020 intro
3:05 - 5:07 - 2019 intro
5:08 - 1:32:45 - Commentary
1:32:46 - 1:34:17 - 2020 outro

Hey all, Jim here. I wish I could explain what you're about to hear, but I really can't. But Patrick is recovering in the hospital after 40% of his body was eaten away by insects, so all I can do is direct you to this sound file, which captures his final moments before he succumbed to a demonic force. So listen, but listen with caution, lest the same happen to you...

TRACKLIST
1. Skeletons in the Closet - Louis Armstrong
2. Everyday is Halloween - Ministry
3a. "Help Me!" from The Fly (1958)
3b. Human Fly - The Cramps
4a. Graveyard Sounds - corfen
4b. Screaming Skull trailer
4c. Rattlin Bones - Preservation Jazz Hall Band
5. Nightmare at 20,000 feet - Black Market
6a. Siskel & Ebert review of Friday the 13th Part 2
6b. Intro/Cabin theme to Friday the 13th NES game (strings remix) -
7a. Resident Evil zombie sound effects
7b. I Walked With A Zombie - Roky Erickson
8a. Media Home Entertainment's retailer promo for A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
8b. Freddy Krueger 900 Number Commercial
8c. Freddy's Nightmares Videotape commercial
8d. Freddy hosting MTV
8e. Do The Freddy - Elm Street Singers
9a. No More Room In Hell speech from Dawn of the Dead
9b. No More Room In Hell (Gervano DC remix) - The Darrow Chem Syndicate
10. Swan Lake - The Nebulas
11a. Clip from Intimate Conversations - Bela Lugosi
11b. Bela Lugosi's Dead - Electric Hellfire Club
12a. Spooky Forest and Ambience - Royalty Free Sounds
12b. I Was A Teenage Werewolf trailer
12c. Werewolf - Morgus and the Daringers
13a. Bloodbath - Escape
13b. The Bat - The Ventures
14a. Lights Out Intro
14b. Jerusalems Lot audiobook piece
14c. Dirge - Death in Vegas
15.  Tenebre - Goblin
16.  Mystic Stylez - Three 6 Mafia
17a. Stevie Wayne Radio Intro from The Fog
17b. Michael Myers - The Meteors
18a. Trial of the Dead radio spot - Something Weird
18b. Halloween - Siouxsie and the Banshees
19. Zombie - Fabio Frizzi
20. Bones of Baby Dolls - Acid Bath

I've spent the past 2 weeks making this special Halloween mix for you all to enjoy. Novelty songs, soundtrack cuts, horrorcore, horror-punk, horror surf, trailers, and other assorted bits and bobs. A creeptastic spooktacular!

1. Dark Dark Dark from "Spooky Scary Stories", read by Robert Dryden (1973)

2. Spooks! by Louis Armstrong and Gordon Jenkins (1954)

3a. The Graveyard Shift by Nature Sounds DJ (2013)

3b. Main Title from "Carnival of Souls" by Gene Moore (1962)

4a. Screams and Groans from "Disney's Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House" (1964)

4b. Living Dead Girl (Subliminal Seduction Mix) from "American Music To Strip By" by Rob Zombie (1999)

5a. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre trailer (1974)

5b. Chain Saw from "The Ramones" by The Ramones (1976)

6. Main Title from "House with The Laughing Windows" by Amedeo Tommasi (1976)

7a. Power Glove scene from Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

7b. Main Title from A Nightmare On Elm Street (NES) by David Wise (1990)

8a. Three On A Meathook trailer (1972)

8b. House On Haunted Hill by Frank De Vol (1959)

8c. "Supernatural, perhaps" from The Black Cat (1934)

9a. Witches from "Disney's Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House" (1964)

9b. Scorpio 6 from "Creature Feature" by Satan's Pilgrims (1998)

10a. Time Life's Enchanted World commercial with Vincent Price

10b. Mrs. Alves from "Halloween 2" by John Carpenter and Alan Howarth (1981)

10c. Horror Movie Rap from "The South Park Psycho" by Ganksta N-I-P (1992)

11a. The Dangers of Rock Music from The John Ankerberg Show (1990)

11b. Halloween from "Fatal Portrait" by King Diamond (1986)

11c. Halloween Spooks from "High Flying" by Lambert, Hendricks & Ross with The Ike Isaacs Trio (1962)

12a. "The most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life" from The Blob (1958)

12b. The Blob from "The Blob" by The Five Blobs (1958)

13a. Tentacles trailer (1977)

13b. Banshee Beach from "All Plastic Assembly Kit" by The Ghastly Ones (2005)

14a. Crypt of Dark Secrets trailer (1976)

14b. It's A B-Movie from "The Brave Little Toaster" by Van Dyke Parks (1987)

15a. Jason Voorhees introduction from The Arsenio Hall Show (1989)

15b. Satanic Verses from "U.S.A." by Flatlinerz feat. Headless Horseman (1994)

16a. "What's the greatest Halloween song?" Bruce Springsteen stage banter (2012)

16b. The Mummy by Bob McFadden & Dor (1959)

17a. Otherworldly Music from "Disney's Haunted Mansion" (1970)

17b. "Do you believe in humans?" from "Disney's Haunted Mansion" (1970)

18a. Spooky Romance from CTV news (2017)

18b. Dracula's Wedding from Speakerboxxx/The Love Below by Outkast feat. Kelis (2003)

19a. Dracula/Van Helsing showdown from "Dracula" (1931)

19b. Bloody Tears from "Castlevania II: Simon's Quest" by The Doramatic Orchestra (2017)

***MONSTER MASH-UP***

20a. Dick Clark intro of Bobby "Boris" Pickett on American Bandstand (1964)

20b. Monster Mash by Bobby "Boris" Pickett

20c. Monster Mash by Vincent Price

20d. Monster Mash by Zacherle

20e. Monster Mash by Bruce Springsteen

20f. Monster Mash by Bailey Pelkman

20g. Monster Mash by The Holophonics

20h. Monster Mash by Pink Skulls

20i. Monster Mash by The Misfits

20j. "Never play that again" from Spaceballs (1987)

21.   Vampira from "Walk Among Us" by The Misfits (1982)

22a. Robots at the Factory from "Halloween III: Season of the Witch" by John Carpenter and Alan Howarth

22b. The Conquerer Worm by Edgar Allan Poe, read by Tom O'Bedlam

23a. Intro to Lights Out radio program

23b. Main Title from "Bride of Frankenstein" by Franz Waxman, rerecorded by The Westminster Philharmonic Orchestra (1993)

24a. "To a new world of Gods and Monsters" from Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

24b. Forbidden Feelings from "Tornado" by Guest Villains (2011)

25a. "I have warned thee" from Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)

25b. He's Back, The Man Behind The Mask from "Exhumed Vol. 1" by STRVNGERS (2017) (Alice Cooper cover)

26. You Cannot Be Saved From The Grave from "Ghost Ballads" by Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks (2013)

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, so why does the past seem like such a nightmare? In the world of pre-Vatican Patterson, NJ the Catholic communities are trapped, shamed, guilty, frustrated, and unhappy. And that's before a maniac in a mask starts burying butcher knives into the tops of people's feet.

Alice, Sweet Alice is one of the greatest slashers of all-time and unforgivably forgotten by too many people, but on this episode of Tracks of the Damned, the horror film commentary track podcast, two lapsed Catholics from New Jersey (host Patrick Ripoll and Bill Ackerman of the Supporting Characters podcast) try to tackle what makes this film so deep, satisfying and scary.

In addition to the commentary Bill Ackerman brings with him an exclusive interview he did with Alice, Sweet Alice director Alfred Sole, getting into his career, the joys and pains of low-budget film-making, and what the hold up is on Alice, Sweet Alice coming out on blu-ray. Even if you know the story of Alice, Sweet Alice, this is not one to miss!

Hey folks, Jim here. We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Patrick's computer, now in a deep coma. I have used my skills as a part-time fortune teller and medium to contact it in The Great Beyond and can confirm that it may be quite some time before it returns, if it ever does. So we must announce that Tracks of the Damned is on an indefinite hiatus until this matter can be resolved.

However before Squinky The Wonder Laptop had her unfortunate accident, she did do one last noble deed. She recorded the Horror of Dracula (1958) episode of Tracks of the Damned, the horror film commentary track podcast! Lucky you!

On this episode Patrick is joined by Robert Reineke of Still Watching the Skies and Where The Long Tail Ends and in addition to talking about the classic adventure horror film they discuss Hammer studios, the profile of Christopher Lee, and the cultural importance of 1950's cleavage. They assure me the latter is very important indeed.

They also talk about the wide pantheon of Hammer's legendary genre films, and which Dracula movies are the worst. Exciting! Listen hard!  It may be your last chance for a while!

You will not be saved by iTunes.

But is that deer head you have hanging above the couch in your den really secure? Just how good are your cars brakes anyway? Did you know that 11 out of 10 people who use a ladder start a Rube Goldberg chain of events that ends with a bowling ball smashing someone's head?

Yep, it's a big dangerous world out there and in 2000 New Line Pictures saw all the dough Scream and it's derivatives were raking in and shouted into a phone "DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT." Thankfully, instead of another masked whodunnit high speed slasher, writer Jeffrey Reddick produced a Twilight Zone/Sole Survivor/Carnival of Souls kind of X-Files knock-off called Final Destination.

So we all know the stories. Spielberg was a wunderkind. He snuck onto the Universal lot as an 8 year-old with nothing more than a turtleneck, viewfinder and a suitcase full of candy bars and was immediately hired to design the Creature From the Black Lagoon and do re-writes on Magnificent Obsession. But the truth is that even The Beard started somewhere and anyone who's seen his episodes of Night Gallery knows that start was inauspicious at best.

What is behind that door? It's maybe the key question at the root of all horror. What is behind that door, what is in that shadow, what was that noise? It's a fact that RKO producer Val Lewton exploited better than anyone and one that Robert Wise, who was mentored by Lewton, used as the backbone of his 1963 psychological ghost story classic The Haunting.