When it comes to Elon Musk, I’m mesmerized. He stammers and is not exceptionally charismatic, yet it’s refreshing to witness his sincere vision toward a better world. Others react vehemently against him and all I see is the fear behind their actions. They see him as a threat, but doesn’t he exhibit the best qualities?
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During a panic attack, the body is held hostage in fight or flight mode. Only there’s nothing externally triggering this survival response. My experience with anxiety began in the late 90s and opened my eyes to the subconscious, yet hyper-focused negative thoughts.
What we focus on expands. Our lives are a constant balancing act between intense focus and an expanded point of view.
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FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and YOLO (You Only Live Once) are buzz-words in our society today. They are also bastard cousins of one another who silently poison our lives. FOMO feeds into the mindset of YOLO, which often leads to rationalizing impulsive decisions and choices. Both of these perspectives also prevent our experiencing any happiness in the present moment. They are the thieves of joy and appreciation.
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I believed from a young age that religions are simply stories. Stories created by humans. The badge of honor that many fiercely religious people wear about fearing any particular version of a god just didn’t seem logical to me.
While religion does seem to be a helpful moral framework for many people, what horrifies me the most is the sense that there is zero room for reflection or questions. Blind faith is dangerous.
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The 4% Rule, otherwise known as the "safe withdrawal rate", is a fantastic concept based on historical data, and provides us a simple guideline for our retirement savings.
Similarly, the financial tracking app, Personal Capital is amazing - from the connectivity and ease of access to the consolidated amount of information and detail provided - and intended to provide us a snapshot of our financial life in order to increase our awareness and sense of security.
However, I found the complete opposite. Even as a financial advisor, with all the knowledge and experience 20 years can provide, I encountered obsession, anxiety, and fear. A purely internal mental and emotional roller coaster can be fabricated from any amount of information, guideline, or goal - if you so allow.
As a young 20-something striving to learn to support myself, I turned to Tony Robbins’ books in search of confidence with hopes that would help me through the desperation I felt. The amped-up, macho motivation only furthered feelings of empty inspiration and led to self-loathing.
This is a particularly harmful hamster-wheel for a 20 something who actually needed a Brene Brown-type figure. It took a few years and some life experience, but I learned that I react much more positively to encouragement, understanding, and the real, raw, vulnerability of truth.
The young generations of today need that too, but there are new Tony Robbins’ types out there, sweeping up handfuls of unaware young people daily. No matter the age, status, or desired lifestyle, success comes from slow, consistent effort and from forming relationships with people.
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Our thoughts and mindset are powerful and impact how we experience our physical reality. Healing back pain and recovering from bad investment decisions may not seem initially related but both are influenced by our beliefs.
From a life of chaos, broken relationships, high stress, and me desperately trying to hold it all together through the power of yoga, to discovering the impressive power of the mind-body connection and using such to re-wire the pain loops in my mind, I personally conquered back pain with my mental strength.
We are all susceptible to allowing false thoughts, opinions, or beliefs as truth, yet we’re also blind to our own bias. Much like my physical pain was a response to the emotional anguish I was holding onto, investors tend to allow physical pain in their lives through knee-jerk reactions to the market fluctuations.
Mindset matters more than any of us realize. The beliefs we hold so tightly are usually the ones we need to question the most.
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The mass-produced FIRE financial advice to use low or no-fee index funds and to ditch fees ignores the invisible value of an advisor.
Even if, in a single conversation, an advisor can talk someone off the ledge and calm an emotionally charged situation, they’ve provided value beyond the 1% fee.
All is well while we experience and upward market trend, but some of the loudest and most prevalent FI advocates may lack the support they’ll need if and when a storm hits.
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Welcome to Confessions of a Financial Advisor where you'll discover the importance of focusing more on mindset and the beliefs that influence financial behavior, rather than all the numbers and strategy discussed endlessly on the other FI shows.
I’ve witnessed, first hand, the commonly held beliefs, thought processes, and the emotional components that can truly make or break financial goals.
It’s been easy to get sucked into the hype during the past 10 years of stock market growth, but it’s immensely more important that we examine the core emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that are a direct result of our intrapersonal beliefs. Any elaborate financial plan can be rendered useless from one impulse decision.
You’ll be encouraged to examine your beliefs, where those beliefs came from, how you’ve been influenced, and what evidence you’d need to alter those beliefs. I intend for you to question the stories in your mind, if they’re beneficial, and how those stories affect your reaction in stressful situations.
It’s time to re-evaluate what “everyone else” is saying, tune into your core values, and decide ahead of time how you’re going to truly find contentment despite the inevitable pitfalls and bumps in the road.
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