Where Do We Go From Here?

This episode is for any Christian who wonders how many more ministry leaders we have to see fall from grace in the headlines. Katelyn Beaty uncovers the love for celebrity at the heart of our churches and ministry, and she has thoughts about how to overcome it.

We discuss:

• why Christians love celebrities
• the difference between how men and women use celebrity power
• Bill Hybels and Carl Lentz 
• why we shouldn't rush to put leaders back into positions of spiritual authority

Katelyn Beaty joins us to talk about what Christians should watch out for next (her answer may surprise you), and it's available for partners only. Get it here along with a Purity Culture News episode about Andrew Thorburn's resignation as CEO of the Essendon football club in Melbourne. 

Full show notes

Katelyn Beaty is a writer, journalist, editor, and keen observer of trends in the American church. She has written for the New York Times, the New Yorker, the Washington Post, Religion News Service, Religion & Politics, and The Atlantic and has commented on faith and culture for CNN, ABC, NPR, the Associated Press, and the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. She also cohosts the Saved by the City podcast (Religion News Service). Beaty previously served as print managing editor at Christianity Today and is the author of Celebrities for Jesus: How Personas, Platforms, and Profits are Hurting the Church and A Woman’s Place: A Christian Vision for Your Calling in the Office, the Home, and the World. Connect with Katelyn on Twitter and Instagram. 

What does it mean to have a congruent life after purity culture? Therapy can help us get there, and Dr. Camden Morgante joins us to talk about how. We discuss:

• the impact of black and white thinking
• the benefits of mindfulness
• the long road of recovery

Plus listen all the way to the end for a special high-dollar giveaway for those of you who want purity culture coaching from Dr. Camden. Giveaway deadline is October 7, 2022, it's open world wide, and all you have to do is send an email to wheredowegofromherepodcast@gmail.com. 

The Green Room is this week! Join us on Zoom on Thursday September 29 at 10pm EST/ September 30 Friday at noon in Australia by becoming a partner today for $3/USD. 

Full show notes here

Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist and former college professor.  She writes and speaks about relationships, sexuality, and faith and is a regular contributor to Christians for Biblical Equality’s blog Mutuality. She is currently writing a book on the myths of purity culture. Camden also provides Coaching services for purity culture recovery, egalitarianism, and faith reconstruction. Camden lives in Knoxville, TN with her husband, their daughter and son, and two rescue dogs. Connect with her on:
Instagram
Facebook
Twitter

• the impact of rigid thinking on our minds
• what happens when our bodies feel unsafe in religious spaces
• how to spot dysfunctional relationship patterns
• trauma re-enactments in dating
• EMDR and future templating

On Instagram and Twitter this week, we'll be sharing tips as well.

What do you wish you could say out loud about abortion? We get into it in this huge episode. There's a lot of yelling on both sides of the abortion conversation; we try to cut through the noise and double down on the parts of the abortion topic that Christians tend to ignore. 

• What abortion and purity culture have to do with each other
• Christians and abortion: What are the realities?
• Historical, Medical, Legal, Global: What's going on?
• Interrogating the solutions proposed by those against abortion and for abortion

Full show notes here (over 15 links)

Our partners got to hear a one-hour conversation with Dr. Olamide Ayoade-Alawi who is an economist researching the research about abortion. She gets into the data with us - what reduces abortions? What happens when abortion is restricted? We promise no one gets to feel comfortable after this conversation. Join us for $3/month to hear it and other weekly episodes about sexuality, faith, and pop culture.

Purity Culture was full of pseudo-theologies, and we get into one of them here: the Soul Tie. The idea that premarital sex forms a connection in the heavenlies, one that maybe can be broken, but also maybe not. Candice Marie Benbow joins us to talk Red Lip Theology, soul ties, sexuality, why she doesn't use the Bible to form her sexual ethics, and racism in purity culture. This is a provocative conversation that will give you lots to discuss with your friends. 

Full show notes here

Partner with us to hear two new episodes this month: a romcom recap of How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days (with Jess!) and a Purity Culture News episode about  happenings in the LGBTQ+ space inside the Anglican communion and the CRC denomination in the US. Join us for $3/month (USD) to hear exclusive content no one else gets to hear. 

Candice Marie Benbow is a theologian, essayist, columnist, baker, and educator whose work gives voice to Black women’s shared experiences of faith, healing, and wholeness. Named by Sojourners as one of “10 Christian Women Shaping the Church in 2020,” she has written for Essence, Glamour, The Root, and VICE. Candice holds degrees from Tennessee State University, North Carolina Central University, and Duke Divinity School. She is the author of the recently published Red Lip Theology. Connect with Candice on Instagram and Twitter

After #MeToo exploded on to the scene, it seemed like the dating landscape for women changed. Consent is a necessary floor, but what is the ceiling for our relationships? Is consent enough to provide the meaning sex might have in our lives? This is the provocative territory Christine Emba's new book Rethinking Sex invites us into. Listen in to see where we go.

:00 - Get to know Kelly Wolfe
:15 - interview with Christine Emba
:52 - Kelly & Devi debrief

Full show notes

We talk to Christine Emba about privacy and accountability, but it's only for our partners. Join us on the inside to get this and other exclusive episodes when you partner with us for $3/month (USD). 

Instagram

Twitter

Christine Emba is a columnist for The Washington Post writing about ideas and society. Prior, she was the Hilton Kramer Fellow in Criticism at the New Criterion and a deputy editor at the Economist Intelligence Unit, focusing on technology and innovation. Connect with her on Twitter

Jess sits down with a 30-something single friend, Emily, who is a convert to the world of app dating. Together, they share from their experiences dating via a variety of dating apps, talk red flags and share some advise. They look at 5 myths of app dating... is it safe? Are people lying to you? Lastly, how has COVID changed how app dating looks? Emily shares her thoughts on that too. If you're at all curious about online/app dating or already an app user, you won't want to miss this episode!

Full show notes

Instagram
Twitter

Partner with us for $3/month (USD) to hear our romcom recaps, Purity Culture News, uncut episodes from our guests, and get a ticket to the Green Room.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains references to grooming and sexual assault. 

Purity Culture is part of the reason why our secular and religious culture's still don't know what to do with abuse. We are so many years out from #MeToo and #ChurchToo but current events tell us we are not learning our lessons. Today we look at the grooming in the best selling novel The Time Traveller's Wife, recently adapted into a series for HBO, and the ongoing comeback of John Crist. We cover:

• Jess going on maternity leave
• The Time Traveller's Wife HBO series (spoiler alerts!)
• is what happens in this story grooming?
• What does purity culture have to do with John Crist?
• Crist's past two years in a three act structure
• What hope is there for alleged abusers?

Partner with us for $3/month to hear our romcom recap of 27 Dresses! You also get purity culture news, uncut interviews from guests, and a ticket here to the Green Room.

Instagram

Twitter

Full show notes here

If you believed your body was unsafe, the source of sin, what caused others to stumble, this episode is for you. With kindness and clarity, KJ Ramsey leads us back to a God who made us for safety. In this episode we learn that:

• there is no division between our minds and our bodies
• your body is the place where God personally resides
• it is impossible to trust without a felt sense of safety
• practices that help us regulate
• how to cue safety

Partner with us for $3/month to get a ticket to the Green Room! We meet on Friday July 1 (US, 10pm EST) and Saturday July 2 (Australia, 12pm AEDT) to talk all things purity culture recovery. Get a ticket here.

Full show notes here (including resources about tapping)

Instagram

Twitter

K.J. Ramsey is a trauma-informed licensed professional counselor and writer whose work offers space to see every part of our souls and stories as sacred. She holds degrees from Covenant College and Denver Seminary and is the author of This Too Shall Last. Her writing has been published in Christianity Today, RELEVANT, The Huffington Post, Health Central, Catalyst, and Fathom Magazine on the integration of theology, psychology, and spiritual formation. She and her husband, Ryan, live near Denver, Colorado. Connect with K.J. online at kjramsey.com and across social media @kjramseywrites. 

• the cost - emotional and financial
• should you say yes to every wedding invite?
• navigating friend grief
• YOUR tips and stories about dealing with wedding season

The founders of Big Kids Table join us to talk about "faith-inspired sex education and conversation." Is this even possible in the church or in Christian schools? Georgia and Lauren convince us that it's not just possible; it is necessary.

Full show notes

We recap the movie-musical Chicago from 2002 and talk about the parallels between it and the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard trial by social media. Get this episode and so much more when you partner with us for $3/month (USD). 

Instagram

Twitter

Big Kids Table  seeks to liberate, educate, empower, and reveal the heart of God within sex, sexual desire, and relationships. They offer workshops and consultations in Melbourne, Australia and have an upcoming ecourse. Subscribe here and connect with BKT on Instagram.

One hundred episodes in, and we are just getting started! Jess and Devi talk about the beginnings of this show, what it means to us, and what it means to YOU. We also discuss the report about how the SBC's Executive Committee harrassed and intimidated sexual abuse survivors and colluded to hide information about abusive pastors in the SBC.

Full show notes here

Join us in The Green Room to talk about the events of the past month with other partners of the show. It's $3/month (USD) plus you get all the episodes of the Jess & Devi Show. 

Instagram

Twitter

Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

Watch our episodes on YouTube

Kaya Oakes is the author of five books, most recently including The Defiant Middle: How Women Claim Life’s In Betweens to Remake the World and The Nones Are Alright (Bookshop,Amazon, Indiebound).

Kaya’s essays and journalism have appeared in The New Republic, Slate, Foreign Policy, The Guardian, The Washington Post, and many other publications. She writes a column for NYU's The Revealer on forgiveness, and was Religion News Association's 2021 winner for best commentary writing. She teaches nonfiction writing at UC Berkeley.

Follow Kaya on Twitter and Instagram 

Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

We can’t go a week without hearing about another Christian leader or ministry accused of abusive leadership. Is this a uniquely evangelical problem? We talk today about gaslighting, the tactic undergirding most forms of abuse in intimate relationships and institutions.

Full show notes here

Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

Watch on YouTube 

Chuck De Groat is a Professor of Counseling and Christian Spirituality and Interim D.Min. Director at Western Theological Seminary .  He's also a faculty member for the Soul Care Institute.

He is a licensed therapist, a spiritual director, author, and speaker and  a Minister of Word and Sacrament in the Reformed Church in America. Chuck pastored in Orlando and San Francisco before transitioning to training and forming pastors. His experience includes training clergy in issues of abuse and trauma, pastor and planter assessments, church consultations, and investigations of abuse among pastors and within congregations. Follow Chuck on Twitter and Instagram 

We are talking all about new motherhood - can a friendship between people without kids and people with kids survive the early days of a newborn? We talk about what not to say to a new mama, what TO say, and the ever-changing nature of friendships. Special guest noises made by Devi's 16-day-old baby!

Full show notes here 
Instagram
Twitter

Partners get bonus content from us every week! Join us on the inside for $3/month for rom com recaps, Purity Culture News & Views, and uncut interviews with our guests. 

This week Jessica is joined by a guest co-host to discuss Greta Gerwig’s recent adaptation of Louise May Alcott’s beloved novel Little Women.

We revisit our own childhood’s looking back on the 1994 version of Little Women we all remember watching growing up and consider what strives have been made in how Alcott’s characters are explored in her updated retelling of the classic.

No typical show notes this week but below you’ll find the resources Jessica leveraged in preparation for this episode.

Special thanks to our honorary co-host today from Louise May Alcott’s home state of Massachusetts.

Devi will be back next episode.

“A New Generation of Little Women” from iTunes Extras with purchase of movie
“Making a Modern Classic” from iTunes Extras with purchase of movie
The Compromises of Greta Gerwig’s “Little Women by Richard Brody https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-front-row/the-compromises-of-greta-gerwigs-little-women

Greta Gerwig’s “Little Women” is Awesome. Here is Why by Rebecca DeWolf https://outofthetower-rebeccadewolf.com/?p=950

How Faithful Is the New Little Women Movie to Louisa May Alcott’s Beloved Novel? BY MARISSA MARTINELLI https://slate.com/culture/2019/12/little-women-movie-book-comparison-differences.html

Why Greta Gerwig's Little Women Movie Radically Changed the Book's Ending BY ELENA NICOLAOU https://www.oprahdaily.com/entertainment/a30186941/little-women-ending/

Artwork from: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/making-little-women-greta-gerwig-gives-modern-take-1868-novel-big-screen-1256879/

Full show notes here

Partner with us to hear a feisty debate we had with Eric about "porneia," and get all our excusive content. 

Eric Demeter is currently a full-time missionary with Youth With A Mission in Greece, where he disciples young people from the Middle East. He’s a relationship and conflict resolution specialist who teaches YWAM staff and missionary students. Eric is passionate about what makes relationships tick and has used his skills as pastor, missionary, speaker, and adjunct professor at Bethel University. Connect with Eric on Twitter and Instagram

The new mini series documenting the beginning of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee's tumultuous marriage is out. But is this a "feminist statement" as actor Nick Offerman and others suggested or a violation of Anderson's consent? 

We deep dive the history of internet's first sex tape and Pamela Anderson's story and give you all the thoughts

Full show notes here (lots of links!!)
Instagram
Twitter

Watch on Youtube

Partners get bonus content from us every week! Join us on the inside for $3/month for rom com recaps, Purity Culture News & Views, and uncut interviews with our guests. 

Want more? Our partners got a mini-masterclass on shame from Dr. Thompson. Join us here for weekly bonus episodes. 

Full show notes here

Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

Watch episode on Youtube

Dr. Curt Thompson is a board-certified psychiatrist and the founder of Being Known, an organization that develops resources for hope and healing at the intersection of neuroscience and Christian spiritual formation. He is also the author of The Soul of Shame, The Soul of Desire, and Anatomy of the Soul. Connect with Curt on Instagram: @CurtThompsonMD