Wholehearted: Love, Life + Intimacy

My love,

Breaking up is never easy.

We experience all kinds of emotions – grief, anger, sadness, guilt, shame. 

We sometimes begin to doubt ourselves and question our abilities. Perhaps wondering if we’re truly lovable. Or if we are capable of the kind of loving, satisfying, long-term relationship that we want.

I know I experienced all of these responses. 

Especially after I’d become a therapist, I felt that perhaps I’d failed for having my relationship end.

Of course, that’s not how it works. No relationship is ever a ‘failure’, they’re all an opportunity for us to learn and grow.

I’ve also agonised over whether I was making the right decision.

Last week, we shared the questions you need to ask yourself before you decide to break up with someone. If you’re still in the process of deciding whether breaking up is the right thing for you, I highly recommend you listen to this episode.

We wanted to follow on this week with how you nurture, love and support yourself if that’s what ends up happening.

If you’re going through a break up right now, or have recently been through one, we want you to know, we see you and we feel you.  We’ve been there too.

And we know it’s one of the most painful journeys you can go through.

It doesn’t matter how long you were with someone, sometimes break up affects us deeply.

In this episode, Bec and I share our own personal stories and the things that we know can get you through.

You’ll hear:

• The 3 things that got me through the hardest break up of my life
• Why the pain you might feel isn’t just in your head
• How long it ‘should’ take you to recover
• The vital role forgiveness plays in moving forward
• How to tell when it’s the right time to start dating again

Trust us when we say that something even more perfect for you is ahead.

You deserve great love.

And remember, that it’s okay to get support too. If you need someone to talk to about your break up, reach out to me here.

Sending love to your precious heart,

Isiah. x x

It took me months to decide to leave my last relationship.

There was so much good in it.

For a long time, I had thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. 

I’d spent many phone calls with girlfriends discussing the situation, sessions with my therapist becoming clear and many attempts at conversation with my partner.

But clearly, there were things that weren’t working. 

I thought if perhaps I tried harder… Or asked for what I needed in a different way… Or maybe if I just came to terms with him not being ‘perfect’… it might work.

But eventually I had to make the decision I’d known in my guts for months.

Our relationship was never going to be what I wanted it to be. And there were things missing that I couldn’t do without. 

It still wasn’t easy.

If you’ve ever been sitting on the fence of leaving a relationship, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

No one gets into a relationship wanting it to end.

You invest so much, you wonder if you should just stay.

And then there’s other things…

Shame, not wanting to tell people it’s over, the hope that if you just try a little bit harder… and the practical things like the house, finances, the kids.

Last week Bec and I shared the 4 things that determine with 90% accuracy whether a relationship will succeed or fail and the 6 behaviours a happy, healthy relationship needs to survive.

So when the positive signs are missing… but the negatives are there in spades… How do you tell when it’s time to call it a day? 

It’s a major myth that couples come to couples therapy to work on their relationship.

Many couples I begin working with in therapy don’t know whether they want to stay together when they first come to see me.

I help them through the process of determining whether they want to try to overcome the challenges and distance they’re facing.

In this episode, I’m sharing the questions and suggestions that I share with my clients who are making this decision… And the hard questions that we’ve had to ask ourselves too.

If you’re in the process of making this decision at the moment, our hearts are with you. We know it’s tough.

Should you make this decision, tune in again for next week’s episode, when we'll be talking about how you recover and begin to move forward with your life again.

Love & Light,

Isiah & Bec

I have to be honest… I feel a bit embarrassed about the degree to which I totally nerded out in this week’s podcast.

We wanted to bring you an episode sharing relationship tips that were totally grounded in facts and some of the best relationship research we have available.

It’s based on over 40 years of research by therapists who studied couples in a ‘love lab’. This research forms a large basis of my work with couples. It can predict with 90% accuracy which relationships will fail and which will succeed - without making changes or getting support through therapy.

But, I might have gone a bit far.

I’m not quite sure my co-host, Bec knew how to respond!

Not only will you get the facts and statistics, you’ll also get proven, practical strategies for avoiding these mistakes and learn what to do instead so you can have a rocking, thriving, lasting relationship.

In this episode of Wholehearted Love, S-x + Intimacy, you’ll discover:

• Which 4 communication strategies determine with 90% accuracy whether a relationship will succeed or fail
• This 1 thing that men do that means their relationship has an 81% chance of self-destructing
• What small trick happy couples do 86% of the time and couples destined for break-up do only 33% of the time
• 6 behaviours happy, healthy relationships need to survive

We need skills and love for our relationships to thrive.

I quite honestly believe they need to teach this stuff in schools. It can make such a powerful difference to our lives.

This is our most personal episode so far…

We get raw, we get open…we get vulnerable.

• If you’ve been hurt in a past relationship
• If you have difficulty trusting
• If you know you struggle to open up
• Or if you want closer connections in your life…

Know that you’re not alone. This episode is for you.

Brene Brown’s research has shown that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together.

But we completely understand that being vulnerable is hard, REALLY hard.

We’ve had a long journey to being vulnerable too and we still need to remind ourselves to practice vulnerability, to allow our walls to come down and our hearts to open.

We don’t always get it right.

Being vulnerable opens you up to pain, but it also opens you up to greater joy, to greater love and more meaningful relationships.

We quite simply can’t have intimacy without vulnerability.

So how do you tear down your walls and let more love in?

Join us for this intimate conversation as we share:

• What led us to want to protect ourselves (and you’ll hear us both cry as we do)
• The moment that changed Isiah’s life and relationships
• What Bec’s friend said that made her realise she’s not as open and vulnerable as she thought
• The consequences of shutting down your vulnerability and what can be gained by embracing it.
• How you can take down the walls (that we all build to protect ourselves) and let more love in

Connection is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.

You are worthy of love and belonging.

We hope this episode helps break down those walls you may have built up.

We hope it helps you remember to always be kind to yourself, embrace your imperfections and embrace them in others.

Be authentically you… it leads to deeper connections.

And practice vulnerability - the irony is that is actually feels good when we’re vulnerable.

The more you practice anything, the better you get. Pretty soon, you’ll be a boss of vulnerability and master of your whole-hearted life! 

With deep love and gratitude,

Isiah + Bec.xx

Links related to this episode:

We recommend checking out Brene Brown's TedX Talk - The Power of Vulnerability. 

We’d love to hear from you:

How do you feel about vulnerability?

Was there a moment in your life that led you to put your walls up?

I remember the first time I kissed a woman.

It’s actually not the kiss that I remember most - it’s how I felt afterwards. 

Confused.

Worried.

Embarrassed.

Excited.

Because, to borrow from Katie Perry:  I kissed a girl. And I liked it.

I liked it a lot, you guys.

But I had always - and still do - consider myself heterosexual.

So how does that work?

We recently received a question from a woman who shared similar feelings about her sexual fantasies involving other women. She’s always considered herself heterosexual and only been in relationships with men, but she’s now wondering what these fantasies about women mean.

So in this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we wanted to address her concerns, which are really common.

If you’ve also found yourself sexually attracted to the same sex, maybe watching lesbian porn and wondered ‘what does this mean???’ We’re answering it all;

We’ll talk about:

• How common it is…
• Why it happens
• Why more for women than for men?
• Is it normal?
• Does it mean I’m a lesbian?
• How do I feel okay with these fantasies or attractions?
• How societal conditioning has influenced how we see these desires?

I open up about my own experiences of being with women - and what it means for my own relationships.

Enjoy this episode, knowing you are DEFINITELY NOT ALONE!

It’s becoming a bit of a theme on the podcast, but our take home message is that we believe:

• Love who you love
• It’s time to break down the rigid labels and boxes we’ve been given
• Find what brings you pleasure, joy and love and give yourself permission to explore it wholeheartedly!

We think this quote from Kesha sums it up perfectly:

“I love people. It’s not about a gender. It’s just about the spirit that exudes from that other person you’re with.”

Have a topic you’d like us to cover? Let us know in the comments.

Am I in a Sex Rut and how do I get out of it?

Can you relate to the story of so many couples that have walked through my door?

Sex started out fun and exciting (and on a regular basis), but then life happened…

You got busy, tired and very familiar with each other. And you’ve now found yourself feeling a little lack-lustre in the bedroom.

Perhaps, like many of the couples I work with, you’ve noticed: 

• Sex doesn’t happen very often any more
• You’re tired or lacking enthusiasm when you do have it
• If you’re honest, it’s not very exciting
• When you do have sex, it tends to happen in exactly the same way each time
• You’d like to find ways to bring the PASSION and PLAYFULNESS back

You, my friend, may be experiencing what we call a ‘sex rut’.

It’s common and you’re normal.

Sex ruts can even happen for happy couples and couples who once considered themselves pretty ‘adventurous’ in this area.

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we’re talking about signs you’re in a sex rut - but most importantly, how you can get out.

Helping couples rediscover fun, playfulness and lasting desire in the bedroom is something Isiah does every day (with incredible results!).

We’ll be sharing 10 ways to get out of a Sex Rut and rediscover playful, loving, satisfying sex. Yes, it’s possible!

We also share:

• The first step you must take if you want to get out of a sex rut
• The science of adding fun and playfulness back to your bedroom
• The simple step that helps you increase your chance of reaching orgasm
• One of Isiah’s favourite practical exercises to help you discover what you enjoy sexually (her coaching clients love this exercise!)

Listen in as Isiah shares 10 WAYS TO GET YOURSELF OUT OF THE SEX RUT.

For a copy of her FREE Resource check out this episode on her website's blog page.

Is there anyone who hasn’t argued with their spouse about chores? I need to know your secret!

It’s one of the top issues couples argue about and it comes up all the time in therapy.

This week on Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy, I answer a question from a woman who says her partner STILL expects so much of her around the house, even though she earns more money.

I shared some helpful statistics with her that every relationship can benefit from.

I also answer questions from:

• A husband wishing his wife wanted more foreplay
• A woman who thinks her new partner might be gay

We all have questions about relationships and intimacy. We’ve all felt stuck and we all benefit from support sometimes.

If there’s something you would like to ask me, submit your question anonymously here and I’ll do my best to answer it in our next monthly Q&A.

Over the last few weeks on Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast we’ve been talking about self-love and body image, because we know what a huge impact this can have on a woman’s confidence, mental health, her relationships and intimacy.

I’m really passionate about women loving and accepting ALL of themselves and because, for me, that includes ALL of their bodies as well, we are going to talk about Vulvas and Vaginas today.

And this area - women’s genitals - is an area that we don’t really talk about – but they can really impact upon a woman’s confidence and pleasure.

So, we’re going to go there ...

We’ll talk terminology, because it is really empowering when we know the correct names and parts of ourselves.

We also talk labiaplasty and its rise in popularity.

We talk to some amazing women and men and find out how they feel about Vulvas and Vaginas and I hope after listening to this episode you feel more confident, more appreciative and more in love with your Vulva and your Vagina… after all they are part of you, and you are simply magnificent and perfect as you are.

In this episode:

We talk to some ladies (thanks to Rebecca, Karenna, Em, Richelle, Sarah, Trudi and Nathalie for being so open and willing to share) and ask;

- How do you feel about your vulva/vagina? 

- Has this changed over time?

- What are some of the worries/concerns you’ve had about your vulva/vagina? 

We get a man’s perspective on things; 

- What are men's real thoughts about going down on a lady? Do they find it gross or a turn on?

- Do you care how a vulva looks, tastes and smells? 

- How well do you think you know these parts of a woman's body, really?

And we also get a Professional Opinion asking:

- What is ‘normal’?

- Do our genitals change as we age?

- How does childbirth impact a woman’s vagina?

- What do you want women to know about their genitals?

Want more?

Follow our Podcast and Blog

Follow me - Isiah McKimmie - Couple Therapist + Sexologist

Join the conversation in our Facebook Group - Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

Our favourite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is:

Question: What’s one word you’d use to describe your vagina?

Explore these Resources

Here’s the video we promised explaining all the terms and anatomy of vulvas – this is out of Isiah’s online course for women Epic Os.

https://vimeo.com/258917126

We also recommend these empowering resources:

The Labia Library – a photo gallery of vulvas

The Vulva Gallery – an incredible Instagram celebrating the diversity of women’s vulvas

101 Vagina  – A coffee table book showing the variety of vulvas

Betty Dodson explaining the internal structures of the clitoris

A big thanks

We want to thank the following professionals for sharing their time and wisdom:

Anna Scammell M.Clin Physio (Continence & Women’s Health): The Whole Mother

Kathy Fray

Jeremy Lee Shrub

Kayleen Maree

Richelle Menzies

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you.  Please visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

For decades I hated my body and struggled with self confidence.

You might not know this about me, but I have a skin disease called Vitiligo. It leaves big white patches on my skin – all over my arms, legs and body.

For most of my life, I never thought of myself as beautiful.

I felt like the ugly duckling and wondered how anyone would ever truly love or be attracted to me.

It impacted my confidence, my relationships - and intimacy.

Because, let’s face it - self love is the foundation of ALL our other relationships.

 ***

I believe that every woman deserves to feel comfortable, confident and sexy in her own skin.

And I believe it is possible for every woman - regardless of our size, shape, colour or age.

Self-love and confidence aren’t things that we have or don’t have - they're things we can CULTIVATE. 

***

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy we get personal…

Podcast Producer, Bec Dent, and I share the insights we gathered during this Self Love Series and walk you through our journeys to loving ourselves and our bodies.

Every woman is on a journey to fall in love with themselves.

Our goal from this episode, is to share our own stories and remind you, you are not alone. 

You’re not necessarily born loving your body, or loving yourself.

And your relationship with yourself can change throughout your life. But it’s not the changes that matter- it’s how you feel about yourself through them.

Our aim is to remind you of how amazing you are and help you find ways to practice radical self love and remember your ‘enoughness’ in every moment… in this moment, just as you are.

We hope you enjoy this episode and can learn to love yourself even more after hearing it.

Want more?

Follow our Podcast and Blog

Follow me - Isiah McKimmie - Couple Therapist + Sexologist

Join the conversation in our Facebook Group - Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

Our favourite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is: What's the one thing you'll do today to cultivate your confidence and self love?

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we continue our self love and body love series.

Joining me today is Elysia Anketell who has dedicated her life to authentic expression, creativity, connection and owning and loving herself in all of her shades, shadows and colours. Raw vulnerability and openness encapsulate all that Elysia does, advocating for women to increase their self confidence, quieten their negative self talk and be more authentically themselves - all through her program and community; The Body Love Collective.

Today she's sharing her journey from body loathing to body love and how we have the ability to be our most full powered selves. Join us as we aim to help you remember your worthiness and beauty…exactly as you are in this moment.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What is beauty?
• Where we get the belief that we’re not beautiful or that our body isn’t ok the way it is?
• How societal body standards and how we see ourselves can be destructive to our relationships
• Social media - not exposing yourself to the things that make you feel like crap
• How the messages we get, not just from the media, but our mothers and friends affect us 
• How letting an ‘active inner critic’ can lead to us making decisions that can hold us back 
• How you can become the ‘CEO of your own needs'
• How altering our language and conversations in our daily lives can improve our body confidence and love
• Building your sisterhood connections 
• How to cultivate compassion, love and admiration for yourself
• How you can help your partner who is struggling with their own body love
• How you can learn to receive your partner's love and appreciation for your body

Want more?

Follow our Podcast and Blog

Follow our Host - Isiah McKimmie - Couple Therapist + Sexologist

Join the conversation in our Facebook Group - Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is:

Starting with just one thing - what about your body do you love??

Explore these Resources

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

Instagram: @thebodylove_co

Personal: @_thisiselysia

www.thebodylovecollective.com

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you. Please visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, Gina Swire, a truly inspiring self love expert, speaker, author, mentor and manifesting queen joins me to share her journey to loving herself one million percent and shares her tips on how you can too!

Gina is on a global mission to help a billion women fall madly in love with themselves. After struggling with her own self-worth and image issues, Gina quit her career as a plus-sized model at the height of her fame in order to embark on her own journey of transformation.

Today she travels the world leading live workshops, hosting retreats, coaching private clients, and speaking on stages from Burning Man to Bali Spirit festival, as she inspires women everywhere to love themselves, love their lives and use it all to do good for the planet.  

 This episode explores:

• What Self-Love is
• The simplicity of self love and how you can practice it whilst you go about your busy life
• Why it’s important to be kinder to ourselves
• That voice in your head… is it effective or ineffective for your life?
• Body image and the shame categories we have for our appearance
• Gina’s experience modelling and the way women don’t feel enough
• The importance of taking compliments
• How to play the ‘Appreciation Game’
• Tips for how to realise your ‘enoughness’ just as you are
• Remembering ‘should-ing’ yourself (saying the word should about you/ your behaviour) is giving yourself a hard time. And you need to be kinder to yourself.

We hope you enjoy this episode and can learn to love yourself even more after hearing it.

Want more?

Follow our Podcast and Blog

Follow our Host - Isiah McKimmie - Couple Therapist + Sexologist

Join the conversation in our Facebook Group - Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is: Who in your life would you want to share this message with?

Explore these Resources

Gina’s work has been featured in Vogue Magazine, Elephant Journal, Yoga Guide Magazine, Psychologies magazine, The love challenge. You can learn more about Gina and become a part of this self love movement at www.ginaswire.com or follow her on socials.

Gina Swire | gina@ginaswire.com

IG @ginaswire

FB @ginaswire and https://www.facebook.com/groups/infiniteselflovesociety/

Tips to Realise Your ‘Enoughness’:

• Give yourself Time and Space- just for you.
• Have a mindset shift… that you are ALREADY
• Spend time with people that lift you up and that model the changes you want to make in yourself.
• Have a social media clear out or detox; look at the accounts you see the most...and just ask yourself ‘do I feel good?’ And if it doesn’t – lovingly get rid (unfollow). And follow positive pages/ people that make you feel good/positive and show up as the kind of person that you want to show up as.
• Gratitude Journal and/ or daily forgiveness practice.
• Practice ‘Bliss-ipline’- do things daily that actually make you feel good.
• Give yourself 15 minutes a day (at least) to practice self-love. You inspire people in the process.
• Give yourself permission and let yourself celebrate the things you are good at – you give other people permission to do the same!

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you.

Please visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we are joined by the wonderful Susana Frioni.

Susana has been vocal in the space of sex, intimacy and desire for so long starting the ‘Love, Sex, Desire’ podcast five years ago.  We've been on each others' podcasts before - sharing similar views on the need for us all to be more open when it comes to talking about relationships, sex and intimacy.

Susana is a podcaster, personal coach and embodiment teacher igniting women through erotic empowerment via her brand LOVE SEX DESIRE. With an audience in over 190 countries, Susana produces and hosts a weekly podcast series alongside her Sacred Dance events and online program, Dance Yourself Free.

She joins me for this podcast to discuss how you can reconnect to your sexuality, innate wisdom and learn how to prioritise yourself to fuel all areas of your life.

In this episode, we discuss:

- How people reacted to Susana starting her podcast and being so open about talking about Love, Sex and Desire. And how Susana’s journey evolved to get to this point.

- The need for all of us to be more open about these topics.

- How intimacy with self, intimacy with others and intimacy with life are core.

- Dance as a modality to intimacy and connection to your sexuality and innate wisdom.

- Seeing sex and relationships as skills that you need to learn, you’re not just born with the ability to be a master of them. Give yourself a break and time to develop these skills.

- You as a ‘Woman, Lover, Mother’ and how by prioritising yourself, filling your own cup, taking care of yourself and cultivating yourself as an individual without all the other labels or roles that you play.

Want to learn more?

Follow our Podcast and Blog

Follow our Host - Isiah McKimmie - Couple Therapist + Sexologist

Join the conversation in our Facebook Group - Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week's question:

What do you wish you'd be told about sex and relationships when you were growing up?  What would you tell your younger self now?

Explore these Resources

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

Susana’s Website

The Love Sex Desire Podcast Series

E: susana@susanafrioni.com

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we open the floor to you, our amazing listeners, and answer the burning questions you've submitted on the website or through our Facebook page.

We can’t get to them all in this episode, but there will be many more Q & A episodes to come. So if there is something you would like to ask me (+ it can be anonymous) click this link. 

Today, we discuss:

• how you can take more control in the bedroom,
• how you can increase your desire for sex when the feeling fades and (a big one)…
• "Do I stay quiet to keep the peace or voice my concerns with my partner?"!

Thanks for listening, we hope you enjoy it.

Isiah + Bec. x

Our favourite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section. So be sure to connect on our blog page, facebook group or on Insta.

This week's question:

What would you like to ask me? Click here to ask.

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you. Please visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, I asked one of my team members, Bec Dent, to ask the burning questions the average person has around open relationships and how to navigate them. 

Our guests, Richelle and Jeremy are relationship experts, but have been in numerous open relationships themselves.

They offer a very candid insight into their transition into open relationships. They explain how they first knew this was the type of alternative relationship they would like to pursue and they share the pleasure and pitfalls of this choice.

We also get their top tips for making an open relationship work well and ask:

• How do you take care of everyone’s needs in this kind of relationship?
• How do you keep emotion separate? Can it really be JUST sex?
• What is ethical non-monogamy?
• How were your relationships affected by introducing other people into them?

Listen in and enjoy!

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section. So be sure to connect on our blog page, facebook group or on Insta and answer me this: 

This week’s question is:

Question: Do you think an open relationship can just be sex with no emotional connection?

Thanks to Richelle and Jeremy for being so incredibly open. If you'd like to know more about them and the work they do check out the following resources:

Jeremy's website

Richelle's website

And a special thank you to Bec Dent for being a great co-host.

How would you feel if the person you loved wanted a relationship with someone else?

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, Victoria Redbard joins me to discuss open relationships and polyamory. 

Victoria is a coach, counsellor, speaker, author, open relating expert and self pleasure activist. 

She has studied Tantra and Sexuality and helps people have relationships that make them feel free and expansive.

She believes that by integrating our sexuality with our spiritual practices we can achieve anything in life.

She advocates for a new paradigm (and way of being) that creates space for us to move away from the expectations and traditions society had built up over time to move into a state of thriving.

Victoria’s message: how can we start to claim our desires and start to voice these things to the people that mean the most to us? 

Join us as we delve into:

• What is an open relationship? and what's the difference between Polyamory and Open Relating
• How social conditioning influences our views to this form of relationship
• How can we claim our desires and voice them with the people that mean the most to us?
• Jealousy and Envy … where those emotions come from and how to handle them when they arise in your relationship
• Tips on how to approach the subject of open relating with your partner.

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is:

Have you tried an open relationship? Is it for you?

Resources related to this episode:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

www.victoriaredbard.com

Instagram: tantric.witch

Facebook: Victoria Redbard Tantric Witch

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you - leave us a rating or review or visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, Janet McGeever joins me to discuss Tantra and Menopause and how to continue to have a thriving sex live as we age.

Despite popular belief our sex lives are not over once we reach a certain age, they just change and, as Janet explains, they can change for the better.

No matter what your age, Janet shares some amazing advice for women on how to have more fulfilling sex, how to trust your body, leave the mind and come back ‘home’ into your body.

Janet discusses how, when you learn how to relax and leave behind tension to become more receptive and relaxed in love making; you are able to connect with yourself more fully, which allows you in turn to connect more fully with someone else.

"I've become more liberated, more sensual, more interiorly alive, personally".

The conditioning of our modern world and society places a lot of shame on women’s cycles and worships the young and the beautiful.

This podcast aims to hold you and help you embrace whatever stage of life you may be in and leave you feeling your value as a woman and the meaningful way you can connect to the World and your relationships regardless of age. 

Not only will you learn about the changes that can happen to you and your sex life as you age and during Menopause, but how you can embrace those changes to have even better sex.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Menopause and Tantra/ Sex and Aging as one of the most confronting things for women.
• How we can maintain our sex lives as we age and what changes happen when we get to menopause
• Debunking the belief our sex lives are over when we get to a certain age.
• How our sex lives change throughout our lives and how we can keep them thriving and passionate.
• That it isn’t just about sex, it’s not just about intercourse, but that there’s a part of ourselves that we can be in touch with. There’s an energy we can be in touch with, there’s a way of being in the World that is sensual and alive and connected that is really life affirming and life enhancing. And sex can be a part of that, but it isn’t the full picture.
• How women need to, and can learn to, trust their bodies.
• Menopause and some of the things that can happen with the onset of menopause.
• The gifts of menopause- yes there are gifts!
• How Tantra can hep you transition with this stage of your life
• How your breasts and nipples are your dynamic energy and how your sex life can be enhanced by focusing on them.
• How women of all ages need to learn to be gentle and give back to our bodies instead of constantly pushing them.

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Join our women only facebook Group and join in the conversation: Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is:

Let's bust those myths - What have you been told about menopause that you're most worried about?

And for those already experiencing menopause - what have you found to be the best thing about menopause?

Explore these Resources

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

Email: info@janetmcgeever.com

Website: www.janetmcgeever.com

Website (Retreats): www.makingloveretreat.com.au

Book: Tantric Sex and Menopause- Practices for Spiritual and Sexual Renewal by Diana Richardson and Janet McGeever

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you.

Please visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today! 

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, Amy Towle joins me to explain Yoni Massage/Mapping, sexuality as part of our spirituality, self-love and the cultural conditioning that women get taught around their sexuality.

Yoni is a sanskrit word (pronounced yo-nee ) and refers to the female genitals as a sacred temple and source of life. 

Amy believes that becoming a sexual being is a full-bodied experience and if you aren’t open and accepting of who you are as a sexual being, you’re never going to be able to fully embrace and step into that with another person.

Join us as we discuss how you can connect with the divine feminine within us, that is housed in our female reproductive organs.

Learn how Yoni Massage assists in this connection and how you can be more fearless with your sexuality and step into your power as a women to empower your entire life.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Sexuality as Spirituality
• What is Yoni Mapping/ Massage?
• The disconnection women often feel from their genitals
• How society and cultural conditioning has affected how we see sexuality and ourselves as sexual beings
• How women can connect with this part of their body (your yoni)
• How you can love yourself completely and feel empowered around sex
• Tips to help you learn to love this part of yourself even more

Follow our Podcast and Blog

Follow our Host - Isiah McKimmie - Couples Therapist + Sexologist

Join our Group (and the conversation) - Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is:

Tell me which of Amy’s tips on connecting to your divine feminine you’re going to try this week?

Explore these Resources

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

Amy Towle’s Website: www.templeofshe.com.au

Or find Amy on Facebook and Instagram

Amy is a Certified Intuitive Guide, Registered Midwife and Yoni Massage Practitioner and Trainer.  Amy founded Temple Of She, offering willing women services to explore the relationship between their spirituality and sexuality.  She supports women as they permanently shift subconscious fears and negative self beliefs, while they explore who they are sexually, to a deeper connection with their sexual self and power. 

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you.

Please visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, Kate Toon joins me to dive into the art of talking dirty with your partner.

When Kate reached out to me and said she gave 'great pod' - and had worked on a sex chat line, I knew I had to have her on the show.

Talking about sex and what we want can feel uncomfortable and just downright weird when we’re not used to it.

This podcast episode aims to empower you with some tips to get the sexy conversation started with your partner without it feeling forced or unnatural.

We all have the ability to ‘talk sexy’, you just need to find what works for you and ultimately your relationship.

In this episode, we discuss: 

- Kate Toon’s experience working on a phone sex line.

- Something I talk a lot about on this show and in my work are the ways women hold themselves back during sex. We are given so many cultural messages that it’s not okay to be a woman who enjoys or feels comfortable with sex. And we’re not taught how to do it. This episode offers advice on how to become more comfortable with sex.

- Kate’s a copywriter and therefore master of words with some great tips or talking dirty and words that work/ don’t work to get you in the mood. HOT TIP: it doesn’t need to sound unnatural or over-the-top to be sexy.

- Sexting is also something women ask me about a lot! I did a survey as part of some research I was doing last year and I was overwhelmed with women telling me they would love to sext their partner but feel like they don’t know how. Kate and I discuss some great sexting tips.

- How ‘good sexual communication helps improve our sexual satisfaction.’

Learn to:

Ask for what we want / don’t want in the bedroom

Share appreciation or tell your partner what you like.

- Getting out of the ‘functional sex’ rut – how can you reignite the flame after having kids / being in a long term relationship?

- Kate’s experience at a Fellatio workshop. Learn how to making fellatio work for you and your partner.

- Shift your mindset of fellatio ‘as a gift for him or a reward or chore’ to ‘learn how to get pleasure out of doing it for yourself.’

- We’ve grown up in a society where we’re not given the skills or the right attitude towards sex. How can we move past that for ourselves and a healthier relationship?

Follow our Podcast

Follow our Host - Isiah McKimmie - Couples Therapist + Sexologist

Join our Group and the conversation - Wholehearted: Love , Sex + Intimacy

Explore these Resources

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

Tips for talking dirty with your Partner :

• It doesn’t need to sound unnatural or over-the-top.
• Good sexual communication helps improve our sexual satisfaction – learn to:
  • Ask for what we want/ don’t want
  • Share appreciation or tell your partner what you like.
• An easy place to start is giving compliments to your partner. Positive feedback i.e. How much you’re enjoying it and how they make you feel, how great they look etc.
• Even start after sex, because it’s harder in the moment. Remember: to tell your partner what you enjoyed NOT what you didn’t enjoy.
• Start by sending messages, because it’s less confronting and gives you more time to think.
• Read for inspiration - discover what you like. How? ‘Do a bit of googling and find some ‘sexy articles/ tips’ i.e ‘5 new sex positions to try’ and send those articles to your partner. There’s a lot of good content out there that you can share. If you don’t have the words yourself- use someone else’s’ –Kate Toon's!
• Do your research- read a sexy novel- choose the parts that turn you on and put it in a text message to your partner. Or tell them this is something you want to try.
• Send a voicemail to your partner.
• It gets unsexy when you get analytical about it.

Some tips to help you in the sexting department from Kate Toon

https://www.katetooncopywriter.com.au/how-to-write-sexy-copy-six-sensual-tips/

1:  Use unexpected and sensual words to describe everyday objects.

 'How about the gentle curve of the bath tap, or the soft undulating feel of that doona?'

2:  Appeal to the senses

‘Describe the touch, smell and even taste. Sound can also be useful.’

3:  Don’t overdo it

‘I have a three adjective rule, which means I never use more than three in a row.’

4:  Avoid the Mills & Boon effect

‘choosing the right sexy words can be tough…’

‘Here’s some help in choosing the right ones:’

Phrases we loved

Phrases we hated

‘Copy that tries too hard to be sexy just causes a snigger rather than an emotional or sensual response. So if in doubt, don’t.’

Check out more about Kate at her website: https://www.katetoon.com

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you. 

Please visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

Sarah Marie Liddle has been a Pleasure Coach for over a decade and today I’m speaking with her not only about sexual pleasure but being open to all of life's pleasures.

Pleasure can seem quite selfish– but Sarah Marie suggests we re-frame our beliefs around that – and by letting go of our association with “guilty pleasures” we allow ourselves to take pleasure in its entirety.

We live in such a fast paced world now but by slowing down, being present and mindful, living with intention and attention your energy changes - you see things, feel things, experience things differently.

When we can learn to let go of the ego and can step fully into ourselves, our relationship with the world changes –

- we show up differently

- life flows

- we experience things from a place of love, and

- we give the best version of ourselves – in life and in the bedroom.

We discuss the steps we can take

Let’s have fun and explore … all about pleasure.

Sarah Marie Liddle, Pleasure Coach & Host of the Pleasure Rising Podcast is an Aussie-Kiwi obsessed with pleasure – a former lawyer turned pleasure coach. She shows you how to bring pleasure back into your life, relationships & business. Sarah has written for Thought Catalogue, Huffington Post, Elephant Journal, YFS Magazine and more. Learn more on Sarah Marie's website or follow her on Insta.

In today’s episode I’m speaking with fellow sexologist, Lauren White.

And we’re talking about something near and dear to both our hearts - women giving themselves permission to be sexual as they are - rather than trying to be something that they're not.

Lauren recently published her first book, Permission, that speaks to this topic.

She’s here to lift the veil on what sex can be, other than just what we see in the media, in movies or on television. She’s a big advocate of vanilla as her favourite flavour and encourages us all to own what it is we like - rather than striving for something we're not and feeling that we are falling short in sex and intimacy.

She questions what would happen if we could drop all of the pressure, expectation and judgment. Just turn up in sex as we are and see what happens! Drop all pretence, be in the moment and see what beautiful things can happen – like feeling open, luscious and orgasmic!

We talk about:

• what to do when you’re not in the mood
• how to build connection with a partner
• what to consider before experimenting sexually
• the roles we take on in life and sexually
• the importance of a reset button

And one quote I love from Lauren “There is liberation in being satisfied with connected, loving sex that is pleasurable.  I love vanilla!”  Nothing wrong with vanilla!  Let’s take a listen …

LAUREN WHITE is a qualified sexologist, but also describes herself as a "devoted mama, balanced Libran and lounge room dancer extraordinaire". She assists her many satisfied clients to drop the anxiety and reinvigorate their sexual power in their intimate lives. Through her one-on-one sessions, writing and events, she helps women to release their physical and psychological blocks so that they can liberate their libidos for intimacy, sex and life.

Check out her website or  follow her on facebook or Insta @laurenwhiteau.