Your Encore Life

A life plan is a short written document that is written by you for you.  The life plan we will be discussing starts with the end in mind, how do you want to be remembered, the legacy you leave.  The second part details your life priorities, the who’s and what’s that are most important to you.  The third part details specific actions you will make to reach where you want to be.  This is where you can plug in your goals.

A life plan is a living document that needs to be reviewed often and can be modified as you move forward and/or into different seasons of life.

In this episode we will talk about beginning with the end in mind.  Think about how you would want each of these relationships to eulogize you and talk about you once you were gone from this earth.  These are just examples but this list is not exhaustive:

• God (well done good and faithful servant)
• Spouse
• Children
• Grandchildren
• Closest Friends
• Casual Acquaintances
• Those you worked with, your colleagues
• Those who were in organizations you were part of
• Teammates
• Clients you served
• Your Church

The example I will provide is from my co-workers from the school district I just retired from:

“Those that I worked with will recall how I always made them feel valued and appreciated.  They will talk about how I always made clear to all my faith, and that I was an example by being His hands and feet in serving those in need.  They will recall my desire for them to grow into leaders that focused on adding value to the lives of others.  They will talk about my honesty and integrity in all things that I did.”

In the book “Living Forward” by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy, they state that writing your eulogy as part of your life plan will “engage both the head and the heart”.  The book also states that if you can imagine you are attending your own funeral, what conversations would you hear:

What would those closest to your life?

• What stories would they tell one another?
• Would those stories make them laugh, cry, sigh, or all three?
• How would they summarize what your life meant to them?

Leaving a legacy is inevitable. Leaving a legacy that you want is not, and requires planning and intention.

Hyatt and Harkavy go on to write:

“Our legacy comprises the spiritual, intellectual, relational, vocational, and social capital we pass on. It’s the sum total of the beliefs you embrace, the values you live by, the love you express, and the service you render to others.”

What do you want your legacy to look like with each of the relationships we talked about earlier?

Action item:  Write out a list of relationships similar to the ones we discussed and write compelling legacy statements that say how you would want each relationship to remember you.

Next week we will talk about listing our priorities and charting the course to live our best encore life by avoiding drifting and charting a course of action for our lives.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12 | NIV |

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9 | NIV |

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1 | NIV

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.                 2 Timothy 4:7-8 | NIV 

References:

• “Living Forward” by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy
• Contact Craig

Follow-up about gratitude post Thanksgiving:

Thanksgiving and all the thoughts of gratitude become overshadowed by the shopping frenzy and preparing for the holiday season.  Being inundated by ads can lead us to become dissatisfied with what we do have because it isn’t the newest and best, or we feel we “need” something that never occurred to us before.  We feel stress over preparing for the upcoming Christmas season. Our attitude of gratitude can slide into discontentment for lacking time or stuff.  In an attempt to satisfy our discontentment, we make purchases we can’t afford, which leads to a bigger dissatisfaction of going into debt and losing financial margin. 

Being discontented isn’t necessarily bad depending on the source.  Being discontented because you lack financial margin can lead to planning a budget to get out of debt. Being discontented because of a career that is going nowhere can lead to seeking new opportunities.  Great results have come about because someone was discontented over things like lack of food and clean water available for people.  Discontentment can be good if it leads to action for improvement. This is where E + R = O from episode 7 is key. This is where being intentional with how you live your life from episodes 2-4 become foundational. Keep your focus on what you do have to be grateful for and experience the physical and mental health benefits we discussed in last weeks episode.

Getting from where you are to where you need to be requires you to have a vision, a purpose, and a mission and follow through.  How do you make sure you aren’t drifting through life?  We will talk about that today and in the next few weeks as we begin our series “20/20 vision for 2020”.

Vision:  Image of the future that you hold. Legacy of what your are, who you are.  A mural of you.  What you will leave behind.

• “The value of life is always determined by how much of your life is given away, not by what you accumulated or hoarded”.  -Andy Stanley

Purpose:  This is a brief statement that captures who you are and your part in bringing your vision to life. You're calling, you're being.  What are your strengths and passions? Your answer to the question “Why am I here on earth?”

Mission:  Doing. The particular ways you choose to fulfill your purpose in any given season. Author and career coach Dan Miller says a good mission statement should include three things:

1. Your skills and abilities (what you like to do)
2. Your personality traits (how you operate)
3. Your values, dreams and passions (why you want to excel

Your vision, purpose, and mission must lead to planning and following through to mean anything.

GOALS: Tasks that make up your mission

What specific tasks need to be done and when they need to be done to actually accomplish your mission(s) in real life? Must be compatible with and contained within the mission, purpose, and vision.

Don’t accept drifting through life, which is what will happen if you don’t know you're why (episode 4), and put together a life plan with associated goals to guide you.  This does not pigeon hole you, as missions, life plans, and goals can and will likely change or need modification in different seasons of our lives. This is particularly important in your encore stage of life, where you won’t necessarily be driven by your place in a particular organization and will have more control over your time.  Don’t let it slip away.  These are living and breathing documents and need to be reviewed regularly.  We will be working on this over the next few weeks so you can begin the year 2020 with 20/20 vision.

Action Item:  Think about what your vision, purpose, and mission is or might be in any stage of life. Write it down and keep it handy as we talk about our life plans and goals over the next several weeks leading up to the new year.

Resources:

• Dan Miller: 48 Days to the Work You Love
• Your Move With Andy Stanley Podcast
• Contact Craig
• Listen on Apple Podcast
• Listen on Spotify
• Listen on Stitcher
• Listen on iHeart Radio

Improve your health and well-being by having an Attitude of Gratitude

Now is the season to think about what makes you most thankful, but research supports making it a year-round habit. Many studies have found there are benefits of gratitude — both mental and physical — and all it takes to enjoy them is a little bit of introspection.

Here are 7 scientifically proven benefits according to an article appearing in Psychology Today Magazine:

Gratitude opens the door to more relationships. Not only does saying “thank you” constitute good manners, but showing appreciation can help you win new friends, according to a 2014 study published in Emotion. The study found that thanking a new acquaintance makes them more likely to seek an ongoing relationship. So whether you thank a stranger for holding the door or send a thank-you note to that colleague who helped you with a project, acknowledging other people’s contributions can lead to new opportunities.
 

1. Gratitude improves physical health. Grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and report feeling healthier than other people, according to a 2012 study published in Personality and Individual Differences. Not surprisingly, grateful people are also more likely to take care of their health. They exercise more often and are more likely to attend regular check-ups, which is likely to contribute to further longevity.
    
2. Gratitude improves psychological health. Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Robert Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher, has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.
    
3. Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression. Grateful people are more likely to behave in a prosocial manner, even when others behave less kindly, according to a 2012 study by the University of Kentucky. Study participants who ranked higher on gratitude scales were less likely to retaliate against others, even when given negative feedback. They experienced more sensitivity and empathy toward other people and a decreased desire to seek revenge.
    
4. Grateful people sleep better. Writing in a gratitude journal improves sleep, according to a 2011 study published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being. Spend just 15 minutes jotting down a few grateful sentiments before bed, and you may sleep better and longer.
    
5. Gratitude improves self-esteem. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology found that gratitude increased athletes’ self-esteem, an essential component to optimal performance. Other studies have shown that gratitude reduces social comparisons. Rather than becoming resentful toward people who have more money or better jobs—a major factor in reduced self-esteem—grateful people are able to appreciate other people’s accomplishments.
    
6. Gratitude increases mental strength. For years, research has shown gratitude not only reduces stress, but it may also play a major role in overcoming trauma. A 2006 study published in Behavior Research and Therapy found that Vietnam War veterans with higher levels of gratitude experienced lower rates of post-traumatic stress disorder. A 2003 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that gratitude was a major contributor to resilience following the terrorist attacks on September 11. Recognizing all that you have to be thankful for —even during the worst times—fosters resilience.

Another study appearing in Time Magazine gave the following benefits of having at attitude of gratitude:

• Gratitude can make you more patient
• Gratitude might improve your relationship
• Gratitude improves self-care
• Gratitude can help you sleep
• Gratitude may stop you from overeating

Destination Disease always looks to the future for happiness.  I’ll be happy when I get married, when I graduate, when I retire………

“Sooner or later we must realize there is no [ideal destination], no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life outdistances us. So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more, and cry less. Life must be lived as we go along. ‘Relish the moment’ is a good motto.”  -Robert J. Hastings

“Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.” —Henri Frederic Amiel

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” —William Arthur Ward

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” —Charles Dickens

“None is more impoverished than the one who has no gratitude. Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.” —Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7 | NIV

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 | NIV

References:

• 7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude - Psychology Today
• 7 Surprising Health Benefits of Gratitude - Time Magazine
• Contact Craig

What if you could have an impact on the outcome of every event that happened in your life.  We will find out the formula for impacting the outcome of any event in this episode of “Your Encore Life”.

You have heard about living your encore life, but you are frustrated or discouraged about whether you will ever get to a point where you can enjoy the freedom and satisfaction of being able to spend your time doing what you see is most valuable. You think:

• There are too many obstacles
• My current job or career won’t provide the flexibility I need
• My spouse, family, or friends would not be supportive…maybe they would think I’m crazy
• I won’t have the financial capability to do anything else
• Things keep happening unexpectedly that get in the way of progress
• I don’t have the time

Excuses can make you feel better about you, but how is making them moving you toward your goals.

I became frustrated with my career years ago, feeling I wasn’t doing what I was meant to do.  I made excuses about not having the time or the financial means to do anything about it.  That attitude effected my entire outlook and bled over into my personal life.  I didn’t feel like I had any control over my situation. But I was wrong.

We may not have control over situations or events, but we do always have control over how we respond to them.  This all made sense when I heard a podcast by Kent Julian, where he talked about the formula E + R = O. He give credit for the formula to Dr. Jack Canfield.

Events + Response = Outcome:  We may or may not have any control over the events or situations that arise, but we always have control over our response to those events, leading to the ability to have some impact on the outcome.

Back to my story.  When I realized I that I needed to do something to start moving forward and stop feeling like a victim, I began reading great books and listening to podcasts and reading articles by thought leaders like John Maxwell, Michael Hyatt, John Ramstead, Seth Godin, and others. I realized that only by taking control of what I could….my response, would I be able to begin a trajectory toward where I knew I needed to be.

How I turned a scary situation/event (prostate cancer) that I had no control over to something positive that has had a lasting impact, and how being in community impacted my response.

• Don’t Waste Your Cancer - John Piper
• Small Group Prayer
• Focus on being grateful for the blessings God has provided that I took for granted

When you don’t take control of your response, the formula becomes E = O = V, the V being what I said I felt like I had become a minute ago, a VICTIM. Most people function this way by blaming the situation on other people or other factors. Blaming something or someone else may be valid, but is never productive.

You can control your mindset or thinking, the way you communicate, the people you spend time with, the way you spend your free time.  You have control over that.

You can control how you respond to any event.  Often you can impact the outcome significantly by pausing briefly before responding and asking yourself:

• Will my initial response ultimately impact the outcome positively or negatively. (ie. a situation where you feel you have been wronged, how might the way I respond out of anger make the situation worse, cause unintended collateral damage to others, or delay the healing process?)  Proverbs 29:11 says “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end”.
• How can I respond or turn what appears to be a negative event into an opportunity to bless others and myself by growing from the experience?
• How can I respond to this positive event to magnify it so the joy and growth from the event spreads over others and results in long term growth and gratitude?

Remember, stop and think before you respond. The best way I can ensure that my response to an event is thought out and appropriate it to take it to the Lord in prayer and ask Him for wisdom.  James 1:5 says “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Dr. Canfield says in an article that I reference in the show notes:

“You have to gain control of your thoughts, your images, your dreams, daydreams, and your behavior. Everything you think, say, and do need to become intentional and aligned with your purpose, your values, and your goals. If you don’t like your outcomes, change your responses.”

He goes on to say “Carefully choose how you respond to events – how you choose to interpret events, how you choose to think about and talk about what happened, how you choose to act — If you want to achieve better outcomes. Remember, you control your destiny … so make it a fantastic one!”

You can control what you do once you finish this episode.  You can dismiss it and continue as you were, or you can follow this action item:

Action Item:  As we prepare to begin our series on 20/20 vision for 2020, write down three situations or events that make you feel stuck or out of control, and write for each one how you can respond or change the way you already responded to change the outcome so you can move forward to leading your best encore life.

Resource:

• Kent Julian - Live it Forward
• The Success Formula that Puts You in Control of Your Destiny - Dr. Jack Canfield
• Don’t Waste Your Cancer - John Piper
• Contact Craig

Learn what you can expect prior to or during a time of transition considering what's next from one who lived it. In this episode Mark talks about the transition from a long career to the next chapter of life, your encore life. He discusses the mix of emotions that comes with this transition along with strategies to move forward.

Mark Ross is owner of Next Thing Group, which helps midlife professionals transition into a new season of life and work.  He specializes in serving those who want to explore, launch or advance their Encore Career so they can enjoy the time freedom to pursue what matters most in their second half. Prior to this, Mark served in progressive leadership roles during his 30 year career with the City of Houston, culminating as the Assistant Parks and Recreation Director.  During his tenure he influenced and helped orchestrate the expansion and improvement ofthe developmental and operational systems to deliver services for the City of Houston’s park system. In his earlier career as an entrepreneur, Mark established a niche business to serve the architectural design market by providing custom design and fabrication of interior and exterior furnishings. He is a native Houstonian, holds an MBA from Texas Woman’s University, a Bachelor of Science in Landscape Architecture from Texas A&M University and is a registered Landscape Architect in Texas. He is also a certified Professional Life and Leadership Coach from the Professional Christian Coaching Institute and credentialed with the International Coaching Federation. 

Resources:

• Mark Ross - Next Thing Group
• Mark’s Linkedin Profile
• Mark’s Facebook Page
• Dan Miller - 48 days.com
• Don’t Retire, REWIRE - Jeri Sedlar, Rick Miners
• The Encore Career Handbook Marci Alboher

Join me as we have a conversation with Mark Ross, professional coach, artist, and encorepreneur. He brings to the table experience and wisdom that will benefit people in all stages of life, but particularly if you are at or near the “encore” stage of your life. Mark talks with us about his college and career path, the “smoldering discontent” that he felt in his early 50’s, and his journey to move from his 30 year career with a large municipality to becoming an “encorepreneur”.

Mark Ross is owner of Next Thing Group, which helps midlife professionals transition into a new season of life and work.  He specializes in serving those who want to explore, launch or advance their Encore Career so they can enjoy the time freedom to pursue what matters most in their second half. Prior to this, Mark served in progressive leadership roles during his 30 year career with the City of Houston, culminating as the Assistant Parks and Recreation Director.  During his tenure he influenced and helped orchestrate the expansion and improvement ofthe developmental and operational systems to deliver services for the City of Houston’s park system. In his earlier career as an entrepreneur, Mark established a niche business to serve the architectural design market by providing custom design and fabrication of interior and exterior furnishings. He is a native Houstonian, holds an MBA from Texas Woman’s University, a Bachelor of Science in Landscape Architecture from Texas A&M University and is a registered Landscape Architect in Texas. He is also a certified Professional Life and Leadership Coach from the Professional Christian Coaching Institute and credentialed with the International Coaching Federation. 

Mark has enjoyed being married for over 34 years to Jeannie from Jackson Mississippi and is the proud father of two grown daughters. He is active in his local church, is a native Houstonian, an artist, an avid walker, follows professional surfing, and loves pretty much anything that is process oriented.

Resources:

• Mark Ross - Next Thing Group
• Mark’s Linkedin Profile
• Mark’s Facebook Page
• Dan Miller - 48 days.com
• Don’t Retire, REWIRE - Jeri Sedlar, Rick Miners
• The Encore Career Handbook Marci Alboher
• Contact Craig
• Listen on Apple Podcast
  Listen on Spotify
  Listen on Stitcher
  Listen on iHeart Radio

Tap into your why.  Think about your purpose.  Your why is the lifeblood of intentional living. Everything becomes more meaningful.  Why is your purpose, Way is your path. The why before the way your ability to make a difference comes more quickly. Do 

Make small steps

Knowing your why helps you know what to do and how to follow through.

1. Allows you to focus more on others and less on yourself.
2. gives you a confidence that is attractive to others.  Gives you security and sense of purpose.
3. The more you live your why, the more you layer it. Strengths and purpose are connected. Your why is fuel for your strengths, and your strengths are the way to fulfill your why.
4. The more you layer your why, the more impact is has on others.  Significance from knowing your why is like a snowball rolling down hill, it compounds. Your impact will keep increasing over time.
5. Keeps you in the game longer.  Could it be that people retire and lose their purpose, their why, their reason to live.

Don’t stay stuck until you figure out your why.  Sometimes your why will become clear as you move forward.

Questions to help find your why:

1. What do you cry about, what breaks your heart?
2. What do you sing about, make you happy, jump for joy, feeds your soul?
3. What do you dream about?  What if……?  Don’t be long on dreams and short on action.

Simon Sinek:

Golden Circle  Why…How….What - backwards from typical What…How…Why

Why:  What is your purpose, your call, your belief…why do you exist?

“People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.”

Personal Story: Men at church coming together to be there for me as a young teenager who just lost his father. What do I remember, what do others remember about my dad who I lost 46 years ago.  Not his status, money, cars, or other worldly things.  I remember him as one who loved and cared for his family, one who cared for his church and community and served both well.  People loved him because of his relationships, that’s it.  How will people remember you?

1. What do you cry about, what breaks your heart?
2. What do you sing about, make you happy, jump for joy, feeds your soul?
3. What do you dream about?

Action Item:  Answer the 3 questions.  Use the writing process to discover your answers and go with it.  It can be a messy process and there is no right or wrong.  Just write away.

• John Maxwell - “Intentional Living: Choosing a Life That Matters”
• Ted Talks with Simon Sinek: How Great Leaders Inspire Action
• Contact Craig
• Listen on Apple Podcast
• Listen on Spotify
• Listen on Stitcher
• Listen on iHeart Radio

What will the next chapter of your story be? What do you need to do to make sure you are the author of the story? What do you need to do to make your story one of significance? As we continue our discussion about intentional living from our last episode, Let's talk about those questions as we continue our journey to our best encore life. Welcome to episode 3 of “Your Encore Life’ with Craig Coile.

Change your mindset

1. Put yourself in the story…take action (Here’s to the crazy ones)
2. Put significance in your story…Do things out of comfort zone, take action. Start where you are.
3. Put strengths in story.
4. Stop trying and start doing.

Act on what you value, find your voice.  What makes your heart sing, what brings tears to your eyes?  Actions aligned with who you are.

Significance isn’t easy, it can be messy.

Invite others to be part of your story.

All stories include wins and losses, joys and sorrows.

From an Apple Computer commercial in 1997:

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

Good intentions aren’t enough. It must be followed with intentional living.  Move from wanting to doing.

Living intentionally is the bridge to significance.

Seven Benefits of Intentional Living

1. Asking questions and prioritizing “What is significant in my life”?  Adding value to people.
2. Motivates us to take immediate action to move toward significance. “Do it now” Get into the game.
3. Challenges us to find creative ways to achieve significance.
4. Energizes us to give our best effort to accomplish significance.  Aim too high and miss, but aim too low and hit.  Unintentional is not aiming at all and never hit or miss.  Golfing w/o a hole.
5. Unleashes the power of significance within us.
6. Inspires us to make every day count.  John Wooden “Make every day your masterpiece”. Secret of success is to live every day accomplishing a step toward significance.
7. Encourages us to finish well.  Legacy

Each journey will be different.

Start no matter who you are, where you are, or what you have.

1. Begin by doing ordinary things extraordinarily. Take that first step.

Mother Theresa said “some of the greatest works ever done have been performed from sick beds and prison cell. Be significant from wherever you are

2. Start with your one thing.  What do you do better than everybody else?  What are your strengths?

3. Watch your words.  Embrace words that encourage you, like I can, I will, yes.  Eliminate me, I can’t, I quit.

4. Start by making small changes.  Embrace incremental change.

5. Believe big…in:

-yourself

-your mission/dream

-your people

-Your God

Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV) 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Ephesians 3:20 New International Version (NIV) 20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Start small and believe big.

Action Item:  Write out what you want to accomplish in your encore life. Does it give you a sense of significance?  What single small action could you take today, this week to start rewriting your own story. Write it down.  Remember to believe big enough to excite you, to make your heart sing, and big enough to realize you need others to come alongside.  Big enough to need God to carry you to your dream.

Resources:

• John Maxwell - “Intentional Living: Choosing a Life That Matters”
• Here’s to the Crazy Ones
• Bible Gateway
• Contact Craig
• Brian Dixon: “Start With Your People

002- What will the next chapter of your story be? What do you need to do to make sure you are the author of the story? What do you need to do to make your story one of significance and avoid having regrets? Let’s talk about those questions as we continue our journey to our best encore life. Welcome to episode 2 of “Your Encore Life’ with Craig Coile.

For show notes  and to leave a comment, go to http://craigcoilecoaching.com/encore/2

Welcome to the very first episode of "Your Encore Life". I’m Craig Coile, an entrepreneur, or more specifically a solopreneur podcaster, coach, speaker, and trainer who is creating, living, and loving his encore life.  Your “life’s encore” can occur at any point where significance becomes more important than success.  Topics this show will cover are designed to help you discover your talents and strengths, passion and calling, and live your life intentionally to create your life’s best encore.