cohabitation agreement

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes - 

“Obstacles plus attraction equal desire.” - Ann quoting Ester Perel @ 9:52

“The other thing that’s equally as damaging that’s come out in the research is where there’s contemptuous coldness.” - Ann @ 11:14

“We don’t have a divorce problem, we have a marriage problem.” - Ann @ 13:12

“Marriage is the only place where we sign a contract for life.” - Ann @ 13:16

“Never take your husband for granted on a daily basis.” 13:43

“I would live for my kids.”  19:04

“Don’t lose track of the big picture.” 30:02

“There is no winning in divorce.” - Ann @ 36:49

“Trust, loyalty, respect.” 41:12

“I think fear holds us back from doing what we know is right for us.” 43:33

“Perspective is everything.” 43:42

“The light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train.” - Ann @ 46:16

Guest Bio - It wasn’t until Courtney experienced the divorce process herself, with her two children, that she became vigilant about easing future uncertainties for families going through divorce. Since then, Courtney has helped countless individuals make their divorces quick, easy, and efficient. Her ability to simplify the divorce process has proven invaluable to her clients and is one of the qualities that make her a Super Lawyer’s Rising Star.

Though she was born and raised in New York City, Courtney attended Whittier Law School, in Costa Mesa, CA where she earned her Juris Doctorate and graduated cum laude. She was an active member of the Whittier Law Review and was published in their national journal. Courtney received her bachelor’s degree in Philosophy from Tulane University in New Orleans.

After her admission to the California bar in 2013, Courtney served as the head of the Estate Planning Division for a family law firm. Courtney has experience in family law matters involving support issues, child custody, property division, modifications of judgments, and the preparation of premarital agreements.

Show Notes -

0:00 - Divorce Hacker Intro

0:33 - Introducing Guest, Courtney Glickman

0:56 - How Did You Become A Family Law Attorney?

2:46 - Pros & Cons of Prenuptial Agreements

4:17 - Marriage Statistics & the Concept of A Wed-Lease Agreement

16:50 - Operating As A Single Mom & A Co-Parent

20:52 - Living Alone Together Discussion

24:02 - The Fake Marriage

26:42 - Cohabitation Agreements

28:10 - The Art of Co-Parenting 

30:45 - Understanding Power Imbalance & Learning to See the Big Picture

38:27 - Three Stages of Being Married

40:47 - What Did You Learn About Relationships from Your Divorce?

42:10 - Would You Get Married Again?

42:56 - Advice for Women Contemplating or Going Through Divorce with Children

46:01 - Thank You & Divorce Hacker Closing

For more about Ann Grant and MB Family Law, please visit: https://www.mbfamilylawyers.com/

Links & Where to Find Courtney - 

https://www.mbfamilylawyers.com/courtney-glickman

S2 Episode 3: What is an Exit Strategy and Why You Need One 

Episode Summary

For many people, ending a romantic relationship is one of the most difficult things they can imagine and so they often make choices that are unintentionally hurtful, damaging, and disrespectful to their former partner.  Whether it is very early in a relationship or a couple is married, how you end a relationship can have serious emotional, physical and financial consequences if it is not done correctly or in a respectful manner.  Hence the importance of an exit strategy.

Once you have identified your wants and needs, it becomes obvious in a relationship if the other person is meeting your expectations.  If the person you initially selected is no longer fulfilling your emotional or physical needs, then you should move on.  By entering every relationship armed with the knowledge that there will be an expiration date, you should have an exit strategy in the back of your mind as you make life-altering decisions.

Practicing self-preservation is not only healthy for you, it is a respectful act towards your partner.  By setting appropriate boundaries and not allowing another person to pressure you into making a more serious commitment than you want or are ready for, you are protecting each person from making costly mistakes.  If the two of you are in a healthy relationship that satisfies both of your needs and wants, the exit strategy is nothing more than an insurance policy.  You hope you never have to use it, but if something happens, you are prepared to walk away minimizing the damage to you and the person you once cared for.

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how disrespectful it is when a partner agrees with you just to shut you up.

Show Notes

Do you have a relationship exist strategy? We always talk about starting and maintaining a relationship, but rarely do we discuss the proper ways of ending a relationship. An exit strategy is a plan you keep in the back of your mind to end the relationship in a way that minimizes damage to yourself and damage to the other person.

Your exit strategy is like an insurance policy. You don’t want the bad thing to happen, but you’re covering yourself in case it does. It never hurts to be prepared. Communicating your intention to end the relationship because it is not a good match should be done in a clear, respectful manner so that everyone can preserve their dignity.

It helps to think ahead. The more complicated and involved the relationship becomes, the more complicated and involved your exit strategy will have to be.

The intention of an exit strategy is to give you peace of mind. You’re able to make decisions about the future when you’re in a clear state of mind, as opposed to being caught up in the emotions of the moment. Being prepared for what could happen in your relationship is never a bad idea.

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When your partner agrees with you just so you’ll shut up. This is passive-aggressive behavior and leaves no satisfaction on either end. It’s also dismissive and counterproductive. It indicates the individual who always agrees has zero interest in understanding your wants and needs.

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Visit us at www.romancipation.com

Here's a peek at just a few of the issues that can be included in a cohabitation agreement presented in this episode:

• Clearly state that you’re not married
• Define the boundaries and issues of home ownership, taxes and improvements
• What happens in the event of a split or death?
• Defining the financial framework for the relationship
• Dealing with your debts, loans and gifts
• What about the kids…and the pets?

Cindy Hide introduces you to issues and solutions that are part of creating your cohabitation agreement, such as:

• What should be included in the financial obligations of your partnership?
• What about a stay at home partner’s financial needs?
• What happens is one of you suddenly dies?
• What happens if you split?
• How courts consider children and their issues as part of your agreement
• How courts view cohabitation agreements
• Questions to ask yourself before drafting your agreement
• Under what circumstances you have no legal rights without an agreement

Cindy Hide includes the following points in her narrative:

• Why a cohabitation agreement is especially important in states where common law marriage is recognized
• What consideration is needed for a cohabitation agreement?
• Why you may need a cohabitation agreement, including points about gifting, reimbursement rights, financial support, payment of debts, and children
• What states in the United States of America recognize these agreements
• Types of cohabitation agreements
• What a cohabitation agreement is NOT

The latest stats reflect that about 60% - 70% of couples live together before marriage. Listen to why living together without marriage may or may not affect a relationship long term. Psychotherapist Tobie Oidtmann includes information for adults of all ages, as well as, the effects cohabitation has on children who are a part of these modern unions. You'll also get a peak into how genders differ with respect to their expectations for the arrangement. It's a do not miss episode if this includes you or someone you love!

In this episode many unforeseen, surprising issues are revealed that lurked inside a long term relationship that had not included financial safeguards. Sandra's trusting nature and expectancy of a mutually beneficial investment, ended up costing her not only a heartbreak, but significant financial loss. Join us as we explore the multifaceted aspects of living together without the benefits of marriage and ways to protect yourself in the event you decide this is the choice for you.

Here’s what we talk about …

1. The circumstances and issues around money that began to erode their relationship.
2. What happened after Sandra’s partner encouraged her to stop working.
3. Why she and her partner felt they didn’t “need” to get married were the same reasons that ultimately led to the end of their relationship.
4. The illusion of financial security through jointly held real estate or being the beneficiary of a will or life insurance policy.
5. The risks of moving to another country without the benefit of marriage.
6. The differences between the convenience of cohabitation and the commitment of marriage.
7. The consequences of cheating while cohabitating versus marriage.
8. Why a cohabitation agreement could have saved their relationship!