dave markel

Sexual assault is a deeply personal and often traumatic experience that affects millions of individuals worldwide. For survivors, the decision to share their stories with the public is one fraught with complexities and potential consequences. In this episode I’ll help examine and explain the pros and cons of someone telling their sexual assault story to the public, or anyone for that matter, considering both the individual's perspective and the broader societal implications. Here's some of the highlights: Cons of Sharing: 1. Re-Victimization and Trauma 2. Loss of Privacy and Control 3. Impact on Relationships and Careers 4. Secondary Trauma for Loved Ones Pros of Sharing: 1. Empowerment and Healing 2. Raising Awareness and Breaking Stigma 3. Holding Perpetrators Accountable 4. Inspiring Change and Advocacy The decision to share a sexual assault story publicly is deeply personal and complex. While speaking out can expose survivors to potential re-victimization, loss of privacy, and negative consequences for their relationships and well-being, research shows that there are some overwhelmingly important benefits to disclosure that should be strongly considered, including empowering oneself and other survivors, raising awareness, and holding perpetrators accountable. Ultimately what I think is most essential is to support survivors in making informed choices about sharing their stories, respecting their autonomy, and providing them with the resources and support they need to navigate the complexities of disclosure. Creating a culture that values survivors' voices, believes their stories, and prioritizes their healing as we do here at Sexual Assault Survivor Stories is crucial in addressing the pervasive issue of sexual violence and the rape culture that exists in our society. Hopefully this episode helps some of you who are victims or survivors of rape or sexual assault and are struggling with the decision of whether to disclose your experience (to anyone!) or not. I hope you find some answers in listening to this episode! It would be great to hear your thoughts and input on this subject…and whether you found this episode informative and helpful. Please rate this episode and leave me your comments! Your input is appreciated! Please remember to do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; the best way for you to do that is to Start By Believing. Because, we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. In addition, here are some links you might find informative, helpful, and resourceful. Please learn about these people and organizations and support them financially if at all possible. They are there for you! Instagram: @coopscw Instagram: @plcnowhere

Several months ago I started noticing on my Instagram feed, several posts and reels that were initiated by an organization called Callisto. I was not particularly paying attention to these posts until one day I noticed one that was entitled “Sexual Assault Prevention,” and had the phrases, “Holding perpetrators accountable,” “Consent education,” “Changing the culture,” and “Bystander intervention.” All of these were principles and subjects that I hold dear to my heart and have taught in my many years as a sexual assault investigation trainer and consultant, and still do. I was then and there, suddenly, very interested in Callisto and what they were all about. Throughout the following year I learned more and more about Callisto and knew that eventually I would reach out to them and find out if there was someone on their staff who might be willing to be a guest on this show and tell the world all about the organization so that my audience could become educated about Callisto, and what they had to offer. But also wanted them on my show as a way to help spread the word about Callisto Vault, and how this organization could gain more attention and support, and therefore more participants in the confidential Callisto Vault Matching System. This system allows survivors of rape or sexual assault to safely and confidentially determine whether others have been harmed by the same perpetrator without having to publicly disclose or report their assault to authorities. I reached out to Callisto with my request for someone to be a representative of their organization to be a guest with me on SASS. To my very pleasant surprise, I was set up for an appointment with the CEO of Callisto, Tracy DeTomasi. The greetings and formalities were attended to, and Tracy agreed to be on the show. And what an episode this is…Tracy is the consummate professional, and as I learned, the exceptional choice of the organization to be the CEO of Callisto. (Your opportunity to read the official announcement of Tracy’s 2022 appointment as CEO of Callisto and learn more about her amazing qualifications and past achievements can be found ) This episode will not disappoint! To learn more about Callisto and the phenomenal work they are doing to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault, check out their website at: Other sites I hope you will check out include:

Activation and discretion warning: This episode contains explicit and graphic descriptions of physical assault, animal abuse, sexual assault, and rape. Caution and discretionary action are required. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme self-care in listening to this episode and if you are activated or triggered and need help, call the national sexual assault telephone hotline at 1-800.656.hope; that’s 1-800-656-4673. A little bit about my guest this week, Merle Yost: Merle Yost is a psychotherapist, author of six books, and teacher. His last book is , and he is here promoting his new workshop series, Seven Steps to Powerful Boundaries. He has been a private practice therapist for over 30 years and specializes in trauma, particularly for men sexually abused as children. He is an Approved Consultant in EMDR, a San Francisco Gestalt Institute graduate, has a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology: Transpersonal Specialization, and a B.A. in Management. Merle loves to discuss the positive changes that his workshop series makes in many people's lives. This is one of those “hold-on-to-your-hat!” episodes…on several levels! Merle Yost is my guest this week, and he ranks up there as one of the most accomplished professionals I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing and getting to know about his truly mind-blowing life-story. First just let me tell you that Merle dedicated his adult life to becoming educated and skilled at learning the intricate understandings of the human mind and behaviors. The amazing aspect of this achievement is that he did so despite what many people would have considered a future-ending childhood filled with a tremendous amount of physical, emotional, and sexual pain and assault from his father… despite enduring a cult-like childhood of emotional turmoil and abuse from his mother…despite the emotional turmoil of spending much of his youth and young adulthood in a dissociative state. And all the while, suffering from the confusing and embarrassing condition of gynecomastia, which he knew nothing about; only that it brought on an immense amount of teasing and physical abuse.  After hearing Merle’s story, you would think that the chances of succeeding in life and accomplishing the dream of becoming a psychotherapist and a marriage and family therapist, as well as an expert in gynecomastia who could help others through their own confusion and shame, would be next to nil. But Merle faced the horror and pain of his childhood and young adulthood, and persevered. He went on to open a psychotherapy practice which became full, almost immediately. He wrote 6 books, several of which became best-sellers. He’s writing his seventh book now. And he wrote, produced, and launched an online video workshop entitled “Seven Steps to Powerful Boundaries.” And he’s now writing his seventh book—a memoire. There’s nothing about Merle that won’t impress and astound you. He’s amazing. And I’m honored to call him friend, and honored that he agreed to be on this show! I hope you’ll listen to this episode, and then that you’ll tell everyone you know that they should listen to it, too! I’m very convinced you won’t be disappointed or sorry that you did! There’s healing in his story for everyone! Here are some ways to learn more about Merle, to subscribe to his video workshop series, and to buy his books:  Business Name: Merle Yost, LMFT/Unspoken Boundaries Website:  Link to Book on Amazon, Facing the Truth of Your Life:  LinkedIn:  Instagram: Additional Website: Additional links I hope you’ll check out:  https://startbybelieving.org #unspokenboundaries #merleyost #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #retireddetective #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed#safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #ericbarreras #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #baylor #ashforduniversity #uofaglobalcampus #psychologymajor #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

In the grand scheme of this podcast, my goal has always been to provide a platform for victims and survivors to tell their stories of rape or sexual assault in a safe environment, to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape or sexual assault, and to provide my listeners with insights, education, and guidance to help survivors on their healing journey. Additionally, I’ve endeavored to help others, in all walks of life, better understand the dynamics of rape and sexual assault and to bring trauma-informed education to everyone. Caroline Markel Hammond is one of those rare people who comes to this show with a survivor story of a horrific series of rapes and sexual assaults, a phenomenal story of healing, and loads of education and experience on all types of interpersonal violence and trauma. She is also trauma-informed and provides help, guidance, and truly relevant tips and ideas on mitigating post-traumatic stress and prospering on the healing path. On top of all of that, she is the CEO of two non-profit organizations: “Safe in Harm’s Way,” designed to provide immediate assistance and resources for victims and survivors of interpersonal violence, and “Epizon Strategy Solutions,” designed to provide businesses with all sorts of organizational and profit solutions with an emphasis on preventing and handling interpersonal violence in the workplace. The opportunity of having Caroline on this show is a true treasure. So much so, that I asked her if she would be willing to be a monthly guest on SASS. Caroline agreed to the plan, as her schedule allows, and to provide a monthly update on what is happening within Safe In Harm’s Way, and to share with us her progress on her own healing path. I am honored to have Caroline as this week’s guest. You can find out more about Caroline’s non-profit organizations and her work at: https://safeinharmsway.org https://carolinemarkelhammond.com/ Other websites I would appreciate you visiting: https://markel-consulting.com https://placesnowhere.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawi.org   #createpeacefulsolutions #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #retireddetective #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed#safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #ericbarreras #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #baylor

Activation and discretion warning: These notes and this episode contain explicit and graphic descriptions of kidnapping, physical assault, and rape. Caution and action are required. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme discretion in listening to this episode and if you are activated or triggered and need help, call the national sexual assault telephone hotline at1-800.656.hope; that’s 1-800-656-4673.   Imagine being a teenaged gay person living with a father who thinks homosexuals should be killed. And then, when you try to make a connection with another gay 15-year-old, you find out he’s not really 15…he’s closer to 50, and he kidnaps you, beats you, then rapes you. Afterwards, you have no one to report the crime to, and no one to confide in because if you do, your father will know you’re gay. It’s a devastating life, living with this torment for the next 7 years. It is a situation that would cause most people to want to not be alive. That’s what Plamen Draganov thought: that not being on earth any longer would be better than living with his memories and feeling the way he felt. But it wasn’t the end for Plamen. In his early twenties, he found solace in learning Tai Chi. And then he found a mentor to help him in learning how to teach Tai Chi, including the mental processes necessary for practicing Tai Chi correctly…learning how to control one’s mind to control one’s body. Things started to change for Plamen; he started learning about psychology on his own, too. The healing had begun. But healing can be as devastating as the assault…until it’s not. When milestones are reached, and the realizations of shame and guilt are manifested, life can start to get better. It did for Plamen. And it still is; while meeting the qualifications to be a life coach, Plamen also learned that his healing must continue. Listen to Plamen’s episode. You’ll hear him reveal his healing process in a tremendously raw, transparent, and brutally honest way. This is truth in one of the most healing manifestations that I’ve encountered. Plamen offers to help others in several ways: telling his story of being kidnapped, beaten, and raped is one way. Another is through teaching Tai Chi. And he also is a practicing life coach. Here is the bio Plamen provided: “From a degree in Marketing and Management to a profound journey in psychology, Plamen's career is a narrative of transformative change. Choosing to pivot from a conventional career to follow his passion for understanding the human psyche, he has emerged as a guiding light in trauma coaching, blending professional knowledge with his personal victory over life's adversities. Adept in Tai Chi and Chinese martial arts, trained under world-renowned masters, Plamen has earned numerous national and European gold medals. His skill in Tai Chi complements his certification in mindset coaching, specializing in trauma and self-sabotage. This combination offers a comprehensive approach to healing and personal growth. Plamen's life story is integral to his professional identity. Tai Chi was his refuge during challenging times, leading him to his vocation as a trauma coach. He is driven by a mission to ensure that no one feels compelled to live in the shadows of their traumatic past. Client’s praise Plamen for creating an environment of tranquility and understanding. Known for his calm demeanor and insightful questions, he helps clients see new possibilities and paths forward. As a client once said, Plamen helps you find hope and alternative perspectives, making you feel understood and never alone. Currently writing a book, Plamen aspires to share his insights on a global scale. His ultimate goal is to speak on international stages, impacting millions with his story of resilience and hope. Plamen’s mantra, born from his trials, is a message of empowerment: "I’ve been pushed to the edge so many times, I’ve learned to fly." His journey is an invitation for others to discover their inner strength and soar." How to get in touch -  Additional links I hope you’ll check out. #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #retireddetective #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed#safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #ericbarreras #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #baylor

If someone is serious about attempting to fulfil a significant, meaningful, and overwhelmingly difficult objective, the effort can often-times feel ineffective, even pointless. Having this type of purpose-filled lifegoal can be exhausting and often will end in frustration long before even a small dent can be made in the predicament. Especially if that objective is being fueled by a large accumulation of the populace who carry long-held misunderstandings of the scope of the problem, confusion on what the definition of the problem is, and/or is blatantly apathetic to the scourge. The measure of frustration is exacerbated if the plague seems to be supported, even if unwittingly, by an under-educated and seemingly indifferent social norm. When that menace is child, adolescent, or adult rape and sexual assault, the individuals striving to combat it must navigate a complex landscape of societal attitudes, legal intricacies, and deeply rooted misconceptions. Addressing such a pervasive and complex issue requires a multifaceted approach that includes education, advocacy, and legislative reforms. It becomes crucial to dismantle the prevailing myths surrounding rape and sexual assault, fostering a culture of empathy and awareness of the impact of trauma. As these dedicated efforts persist, it is imperative to emphasize the importance of community involvement, encouraging conversations that challenge harmful norms and empower survivors. By fostering a collective commitment to change, progress can be achieved, and the fight against sexual violence can evolve into a transformative force for societal well-being. Someone who is focused, intentional, and resolute on finding a corrective pathway to accomplishing such a tremendous and overwhelming mission can easily become exhausted and needs consistent and constant support, both emotionally and practically, to sustain their commitment. The journey towards achieving such a formidable mission demands not only inner strength but also a reliable network of allies, resources, and encouragement. In the face of persistent challenges and setbacks, having a robust support system becomes indispensable, offering the necessary motivation and reassurance to navigate the complexities of the endeavor. In my experiences of investigating the horrific and devastating crimes of rape and sexual assault, on persons of any age, as well as in my work as a trainer/consultant in this field, and now as the host of this podcast, which is dedicated to awareness and healing from these crimes, I have had the pleasure and honor of working with a multitude of both individuals and organizations whose efforts are directly involved in this very goal…reducing the prevalence, and increasing the awareness and positive societal responses, to rape and sexual assault. In fact, I have strived to highlight many of those individuals and organizations on this show. One of those individuals, who has in fact been a guest before, is back this week: Jan Broberg is here. I brought her back again to update us on what she is doing to further all those difficult, yet meaningful efforts to accomplish that which needs to be done to fight rape, sexual assault, and the apathetic societal norms that are pervasive all around us. I brought Jan back on the show as my way of providing an avenue of helping replenish her, even if in a small degree…to provide that very consistent and constant support that I just mentioned; to provide a measure of emotional and practical encouragement to help sustain her and her commitment to victims and survivors of all ages, as she had done for me in agreeing to be on my show and allowing me to be the co-host on her podcast. And to provide you, my listeners, with her ongoing sense of focus, intention, and resolution that this work takes. She’s got it. As do all the people that work with her in her non-profit foundation, and those who are members of her Thrivivors On-line Community. Jan is one of those impressive people who are doing the hard work, like many others in this small-but-mighty force of people around the globe who are striving toward the same ends. Jan won’t quit. She as much as says so in this episode. It’s powerful and it’s meaningful. I hope you listen to this, and that you Start by Believing; because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. Here are some critically important links I would appreciate you looking into: #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Activation warning: this episode contains explicit and graphic descriptions of attempted suicide, physical assault, sexual assault, and rape. Discretionary caution is strongly advised. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme self-care in listening to this episode and seek immediate help through the national suicide hotline by dialing 988 if you are emotionally activated or triggered by the content of this episode. Or if you are activated and need help from the national sexual assault telephone hotline, call 1-800.656.hope (4673). One of the most revealing signs of hidden abuse, torture, and shame would be attempting to eat your way out of feeling attractive. Gaining hundreds of pounds in an attempt to alter your appearance, to hide any perceived attraction you might unwittingly draw, and risking your health and even your life in the process, is undeniably a profound cry for help. When this method fails, perhaps an actual outcry will suffice...resorting to an all-out tantrum, screaming and cursing-out your perpetrator, refusing to perform the obscene acts demanded, pounding fists and feet into the floor while lamenting the ongoing sexual assaults. Yet, this horrific scene only escalates in to more of a catastrophe as you receive a slap across your face and a beating with a belt, leaving you barely able to stand. However, the gravity of the situation compounds further: adding to the hurt, shame, and anguish, the perpetrator is your pastor, and the person administering your punishment for swearing, while at the same time disbelieving your disclosure of sexual assault, is your own mother—who, incidentally, is your pastor's lover. This is an intense story. Is it difficult to listen to? Perhaps. However, it's a story that MUST be told. I am immensely grateful that Cheryl has the courage, fortitude, and strength to share it. But that's not all—wait until you hear about her healing journey. It's a process, not an event, and Cheryl embraces this journey wholeheartedly. Just listen. #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Last week’s episode featured a series of guests who, during their episode interviews, chose to recognize and celebrate the SASS format, its purposes and successes, and the healing benefits of being part of this podcast. I took clips of those episodes and compiled them into a succession of the comments that they made about the show. The episode was such a hit, and I received some great feedback and comments about the show, that I decided this week, as my first episode of this new year, to compile the remaining comments that the rest of my 2023 guests had made and put together a Part 2 as my first episode of 2024! As I mentioned last week, I couldn’t be more thrilled and appreciative of the comments these guests made because it shows that my goals and purposes for this podcast are being met. And I also want to repeat that it is a blessing for me to be able to provide this platform for victims and survivors who willing to share their stories of rape and sexual assault. These narratives not only help the guests but also offer healing and growth to the listener. This week's clips are from the episodes of the following guests, in this order: Cashaye Barrera; Jessica Pride; Caroline Markel Hammond (Part 2); Emily Stroia; Abigail Alvarado; Bailie; Scarlett Robinson; Lee Cooper; Ruthie Uhl; Ashleyann Garcia; and Yri Stafylaki. For me, as the host and producer of this SASS, I am elated at the success and growth of this show. 2023 truly was a year of growth beyond my wildest dreams. And because of the accomplishments that have been attained, I am looking forward to even more opportunities for not only growth, but an expansion of what this podcast will be providing in the coming months. 2024 is going to be an incredible year for exciting collaborations and alliances that will further the growth of community and camaraderie for both past and future guests, as well as for my entire listening community. You can be a part of the growth by subscribing to this show, giving the show a rating, and by telling everyone you know about the amazing healing that is taking place. As always, please remember to Start by Believing in order to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. And please remember to subscribe and rate Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on the platform you use. So, all of this helps the show to grow and reach more people; thank you! davemarkel@gmail.com #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

64. Dave Markel: The 2023 Year-end Episode of Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. 2023 has been an amazing year of growth for Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. It’s terribly sad that there is a need for this podcast to exist in our world. Yet, it’s a blessing to provide this platform for victims and survivors who willing to share their stories of rape and sexual assault. These narratives not only help the guests but also offer healing and growth to the listener. I’m also grateful to have professional guests who bring tremendous insights and education on trauma-informed approaches, teach us various tactics to stay safe, and how to thrive despite the horrors of rape and sexual assault. This week's list of clips are from the episodes of the following guests, in this order:  Nicole Florisi; Von Kleam; Arci Grey; Haley Roma; Caroline Markel Hammond; Anne Winslow; Tracy Matheson; Amanda Coleman; Julien Jones; Alan Manwaring; Leanne Cameron; Donnell Cameron; Tim Cocanougher; McCall Allen; Katie Stewart; Cassie Nicholas; Nicole Snell; Mallory Tingey; and Joshua White. The growth of this podcast this year has been beyond my wildest dreams. And I truly hope it continues to grow and to bring help and healing to all my listeners, regardless of your reason for listening in. I hope you’re more than just a casual listener though. I hope you’re a regular listener/subscriber who is growing and healing, or growing in your knowledge and understanding of what it means to be trauma-informed, as well as provide trauma-informed responses and services to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. As always, please remember to Start by Believing, in order to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. And please remember to hit the subscribe button on the platform provider page that you use to listen to Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. davemarkel@gmail.com #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

This is the concluding episode of Yri Stafylaki. It’s her continuing story of how her bad situation with an abusive boyfriend got worse. Worse because the fallout of what it means to be in an abusive, narcissistic relationship is often extremely messy. Yri had been living her athletic dream of being on a basketball team that meant the world to her. She wasn’t a shining star player, but she had worked hard enough to make the team, and even harder to realize her dream of becoming a player who had become instrumental in scoring points and helping bring wins to the team. Being a part of this organization was a big deal to Yri. But the problem became the fact that her once loving boyfriend, who was an athlete colleague on a men’s basketball team in the mutual league setting as her own women’s league, became abusive, even to the point that a rape resulted, Yri’s place on her team was brought to a traumatic culmination. When she let her coach know about the rape, he ignored the seriousness of the situation and continued to allow Yri’s boyfriend to be in the gym at the same time as Yri, against the agreement he had made with her. During an important game, when her boyfriend showed up in the audience, Yri became distraught, even to the point of tears during halftime in the locker room. Yri was kicked out of the locker room by her coach for being disruptive. Afterward, Yri made the difficult, but necessary, decision to quit the team in order to not have to see her rapist any longer. Then, things got even worse. You’ll have to listen to the episode to get the full story. There are no happily-ever-after endings in a rape story. But there can be healing and victories; such is the case with Yri. While she doesn’t play organizational basketball any longer, she is dancing, and drawing, and writing…and she discovered the Sexual Assault Survivor Stories podcast when she was looking for some reprieve from the rape experience. And because of others on the podcast who’ve been brave enough to tell their survival story, Yri reached out to me and asked if she could be on the podcast also. And you’re the fortunate listener who gets to hear Yri share her story here, in order to help bring justice to other victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. If you’re ready to tell your story, you can reach me at , and we can talk about the possibility of you being on the show. And there are other ways to also help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; one of the best ways is to Start By Believing. Learn more about the campaign at the Start By Believing website, published below. Do it for the victims and survivors, and do it for yourself…because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. And if you’re a victim or survivor who needs resources and help, find out what may be available for you at Safe In Harm’s Way website, also listed below. You can help this podcast by becoming a subscriber wherever you get your podcasts. It also helps if you’ll leave a rating, a comment, and tell others about the show! Thank you!!   #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Activation and discretion warning: this episode contains explicit and graphic descriptions of sexual assault and rape. Caution and action are required. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme discretion in listening to this episode and if you are activated or triggered and need help, call the national sexual assault telephone hotline at  1-800.656.hope; that’s 1-800-656-4673. When you’re ten years old, and you wake up to having your genitals fondled by your own father, your childhood is demolished, and your life is instantly and forever changed. The hell of being the sexual and physical assault target of someone who is supposed to love and care for you, and who you thought you were able to trust, has devastating effects that impact every area of a child’s everyday life…and the devastation lasts until there is a healing catalyst. Even then, the devastation doesn’t go away overnight…sometimes, not at all. For Lee, his healing finally started twenty years after his sexual victimization ended, when he read Dr. Bessel van der Kolk’s book, The Body Keeps the Score. But even now, ten years after Lee began his healing journey, Lee still feels the score that his body holds from the malevolent and torturous assault his father inflicted on him. And the impact is multifaceted, too. From horrific memories, to devastating personal relationships with girlfriends, his mother, and others, to financial impacts, and even feelings of anxiety and fear now, while sitting in his own bedroom. It will most likely impact Lee for the rest of his life. But it’s not all horrific. Lee has his friends, his dreams and goals, and his photography business, all of which help Lee focus on the beauty of life. His picture taking is a particularly strong aspect of his healing. It takes him to glamorous, interesting, and challenging locations all over the world, provides him with new and fascinating friends, amazing photography targets, and the potential of financial opportunity. And his picture-taking abilities are exquisite. So much so in fact, that he has been invited to display his work at a prestigious, solo, three-month exhibit starting on December 9th of this year, and going through March 9th of 2024.  The Oldham Gallery will feature Lee’s work. In a recent publication, the gallery boasted of Lee’s work this way: Oldham-born Lee Cooper has travelled the world capturing the mundane snippets of life in all their glory and wonder, through his photography. From Blackpool to Las Vegas, his work focuses on the moments of existential loneliness in the humdrum moments of life in a societal system that appears to be crumbling away. If you’re anywhere near Oldham, England Dec. 9th thru March 9th, make the well-worth-it effort to go see Lee’s exhibit. Be sure to tune in next week for Part 2 of Lee’s story. It’s the inspirational conclusion to this powerful, meaningful expression of Lee’s ability to overcome the horrors he endured. Until then, please remember to “like,” rate, and subscribe to Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. It will contribute to you doing your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. You can also do this when you Start By Believing, because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. Please visit these links: Instagram: @coopscw Instagram: @plcnowhere #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #retireddetective #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed#safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #ericbarreras #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #baylor #ashforduniversity #uofaglobalcampus #psychologymajor #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

WARNING: This episode is explicit and detailed in the descriptions of attempted suicide, self-harm, rape, and sexual assault. It is not appropriate for children, and extreme discretion is advised in keeping the listening audience restricted to only appropriately aged and emotionally capable persons. If you are activated and are having thoughts of suicide and need immediate help, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 988. Or, if you are activated and need immediate help regarding a past rape or sexual assault, call the National Sexual Assault telephone hotline, at 1-800.656.hope (4673). Bailie’s horrendous story of childhood sexual assault and rape is only the beginning of a life filled with confusion, pain, and despair. In this gripping Part I episode, Bailie and I go deep into Bailie's harrowing past, where she faced unimaginable injury and trauma, and grappled with multiple suicide attempts. Yet, against all odds, Bailie found the strength to rise from the cinders of her darkest moments, emerging as a resilient advocate for sexual assault survivors and a beacon of hope, on multiple levels, for the LGBTQ community. Bailie uncovers the raw, unfiltered story of her transformation and the vital work she does at an LGBTQ resource center, shedding a bright, powerful light on her remarkable journey towards empowerment and healing. Let’s all do our part in bringing justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. Start by Believing. Stop victim blaming. Because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Suicide is a major public health concern and a leading cause of death in the U.S. Please help the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) raise awareness by sharing resources that help others recognize the warning signs for suicide and know how to get help. #suicideprevention #SPM23 #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergfoundation #thrivivors #sassyselfdefenseguide #ericbarreras #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #baylor #ashforduniversity #uofaglobalcampus #psychologymajor #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #gettraumainformed #forcescience https://linktr.ee/coachbailie

In June of this year, I was contacted by true-crime author, Jamie Collins, who sent me a press release about a new book she was publishing, I am Abigail. The press release was extensive, but for an explanation about the book, here is just a portion of the release that I received: Written in the first person from Abby’s perspective, I AM ABIGAIL is the result of an intense creative collaboration, a memoir striking for its unflinching honesty and emotional intimacy. Abby tells her story, starting with her earliest memories at age eight, when she was Abigail Rodriguez and living with her single mother, older (by two years) sister, and younger (by one year) brother in a house filled with people laughing, dancing, kissing, drinking, and smoking all day and night. As a girl, Abby had no idea that her home was a crack house. She remembers her mom urging her to stand up on the coffee table in their living room and dance for the men. And she remembers the day in May of 1988 when a caseworker from Child Protective Services (CPS) knocked on the door of their home and took Abby and her siblings away.      After a brief stay in a shelter, Abby learns that she and her sister and brother will be flying on an airplane to Hawaii. That’s where her Uncle Chevo lives, and he and his wife, Laura, have agreed to assume care of his half-sister’s three children. Sad about leaving Texas and her mom forever but also excited about living on an island, Abby begins to wonder, Is there a big yard to play in? Will I have my own room? On their last night sleeping at the shelter, Abby keeps tossing and turning in her bed. Suddenly, she has a memory of the last time she saw her uncle. She was five or six, and her whole family was having fun together, swimming in a pool at a hotel in El Paso. After her mom left to walk her brother and sister back to their hotel room, Abby and her uncle remained in the water, alone together. Uncle Chevo looked directly at Abby and said, “One day, I am going to marry you.” Even then, Abby felt confused and unsettled. She had no inkling of the evil that would soon be making its way to her.      By way of publicity for the book, Jamie offered the opportunity for me to record an interview of Abigail and Jamie for my podcast. It sounded like an offer I shouldn’t refuse, so…I didn’t. This decision would prove to be an opportunity that I am truly grateful for! I cannot recommend for you to listen to this episode enough; it is intriguing, informative, sad...but mostly immensely critical and important to get this information out to you, my listeners.  This story is important on many levels: educationally about the dynamics of child familial sexual abuse; the sometimes-lacking response of agencies whose job it is to protect children; and the ease of which society can neglect to see a huge problem for what it is. Listen to this episode. Then buy I am Abigail on Amazon. Then tell everyone you know about this episode. Please rate and subscribe to this podcast. And as always…Start by Believing. Because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. A great big thank you to Abigail Alvarado and Jamie Collins for the interview!  Here are some important links I hope you will utilize:

This episode is an edited version of the most recent Thrivivors Online Community, of The Jan Broberg Foundation, and features a presentation hosted by me. My presentation topic was "The Imposed Shame of Rape/Sexual Assault: what do we do with it?" and the members of the online community participated in a discussion and Q & A session on of the impact of shame on the lives of victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. It was an honor to be asked to be a guest presenter of the Thrivivors Community, and even more of an honor that Austen Tanner and Jan Broberg gave me their permission to use this presentation on this week’s SASS episode!   We discussed how shame is often imposed on victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault by society, the media, and even their own families and friends. This imposed shame can lead to a number of negative consequences, including: Self-blame: Victims and survivors may blame themselves for what happened, even though they are not to blame. Isolation: Victims and survivors may withdraw from friends and family, or avoid social situations, out of fear of being judged or rejected. Depression: Victims and survivors may experience depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Victims and survivors may develop PTSD, which can cause flashbacks, nightmares, and other symptoms. The presentation was concluded by discussing how to cope with the imposed shame of rape and sexual assault. He emphasized the importance of self-compassion, self-talk, exercise, seeking counseling, meditating, and dwelling on gratitude. We also discussed the importance of victims and survivors to speak out about their experiences, in order to break the silence and raise awareness about this important issue.   If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape or sexual assault, it is important to seek help. There are many resources available, including The Jan Broberg Foundation’s Thrivivors Community, your local rape crisis center, and counseling. I encourage you to do whatever you can to seek help and support if you are struggling with the impacts of rape or sexual assault. Here are some links to help you in your healing journey: Cite for research paper discussed by Dave: Bhuptani, P. H., & Messman, T. L. (2022). Self-compassion and shame among rape survivors. Journal of interpersonal violence, 37(17-18), NP16575-NP16595.

46. Emily Stroia: Healing from Trauma and Finding Meaningful Purpose Emily Stroia is a life coach, spiritual counselor, military veteran, author and mom. She has mentored thousands of clients from all over the world on healing from loss, trauma, and finding purpose again. Currently Emily is working to obtain her master's degree in clinical psychology with a specialization in trauma at Antioch University Los Angeles. Knowing what you know now about her being a student, and a life coach, and a spiritual counselor, and most importantly a mom, you know that Emily doesn’t have much free time, so for her to agree to be a guest on this show was a huge honor and privilege for me! In what little free time Emily has, she loves to spend time with her son, and her friends, and when possible, she loves to travel, hike, try new restaurants, and write. You would not likely guess, based on Emily’s current life, that she would have had a horrific, terrifying, and painful childhood. But as is the case in so many childhood sexual assault and physical abuse stories, it isn’t uncommon to find that some victims thrive in doing whatever they can to cover up their pain with successes and growth in other areas…such is the story with Emily. She was a model student, then went on to have a successful military stint. But after the service she provided to our country, Emily took a wild trip to New York, just to see what it was like. That didn’t go so well for Emily and she wound up in a VA hospital, trying to find herself. Eventually, it was on to therapy. But when you’re a victim of child abuse and sexual assault, facing the past can be an extremely scary and daunting prospect.  Emily found her way through the pain of working on her past…and continues to do so even now. It’s a success story…and it continues as she raises her son, goes to school, and works on her memoir; her plans are to release the memoir on healing from childhood sexual abuse and trauma in 2025. It’s something to look forward to! In the meantime, listen to this episode. And share it with everyone you know! Then rate and subscribe to the podcast, and leave a review, if you would please! I’d truly appreciate hearing from you! And don’t forget to Start By Believing. Because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. Here is some really important information about Emily that I want you to read: Website:  Emily’s book of poetry on healing from trauma:  And, here is some other important stuff I would like you to look at!:

45. Caroline Markel Hammond: Getting Caught Up & Hearing the Exciting Latest News! After my first episode with Caroline (Episode 19, Feb. '23), she and I became very good friends and we keep in touch frequently: checking in on each other, reminding each other of how important our respective work responsibilities are for the victim/survivor community, and making sure that we are both doing what we should to assure that we are each taking steps toward self-care and rest. This past week, when Caroline texted, she suggested that we should call to talk and get caught up, and I suggested that we should turn that call into a SASS episode. Caroline graciously agreed, and that is exactly what happened! Listen in to this conversation and get caught up on what’s going on with Caroline, her organizations, and her collaborations and big plans for Safe in Harm’s Way!  This is an enjoyable episode, with new collaborative news that has occurred between SIHW and OhanaLink Purple, perspective on SIHW growth, laughs, and the excitement of some yet to be disclosed changes that are coming for Safe In Harm’s Way and Epizon Strategy Solutions. You won’t want to miss this! Also, the invitation is still open for my listeners to reach out to me if you feel you are ready to tell your sexual assault or rape story in order to further your healing journey, or to help others on theirs. Just email me at: , and we’ll discuss the possibility of you being on this show. And, as always, please tell everyone you know about this podcast. And if you would, please, take the time to subscribe to Sexual Assault Survivor Stories, write a review, and rate the podcast. It helps this podcast grow, and it means the world to me that you are doing your part to make sure that we’re helping bring justice to victims of rape and sexual assault. Another great way to do this is to Start By Believing! Here are some really great opportunities to become more aware of what Caroline Markel Hammond is doing with Safe in Harm’s Way, Epizon Strategy Solutions, and her two campaigns to help curtail the impact of domestic violence, sexual assault, and rape: The Last I’m Sorry, and Feeling Small: please check out these sites, and make yourself aware of their importance.

WARNING: This episode is explicit and detailed in the descriptions of rape and sexual assault. It is not appropriate for children, and extreme discretion is advised in keeping the listening audience restricted to only appropriately aged and emotionally capable persons. In this powerful episode I invited my daughter, Cashaye Barrera, as a special guest to share her courageous journey in seeking justice for herself and others who have endured and survived sexual assault. Listen as Cashaye delves into the heart-wrenching reality of systemic disbelief, victim-blaming, and the hurdles rape survivors encounter within the criminal justice system. Discover the tenacity and passion that drives Cashaye's advocacy for victims and her relentless pursuit of change. Tune in to hear a personal account that sheds light on the urgency of believing survivors and the crucial role we all play in supporting their pursuit of justice. Don't miss this eye-opening episode. And don’t forget to Start By Believing, because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault.   https://saprea.org https://www.instagram.com/cieralancaster/