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Part of the common experience in doing interviews of victims and survivors of rape, sexual assault, and other interpersonal violence, is to hear the person I’m interviewing say that they only remember certain parts of their trauma experience, or that there are parts that they’ve tried really hard to remember, but just can’t. Or say that there are parts of their trauma experience that they wish they could forget, but as much as they keep putting it out of their mind, or try not to think about it, they can’t stop the memories, intrusive thoughts, and nightmares. But why is this happening, on both sides of that horrific experience…wanting to remember, but can’t; wanting to forget, but can’t? In this episode I explain what’s going on, to some degree, keeping in mind that the neuroscience of trauma and memory is complex and full of idiosyncrasies. And some parts of the brain and what’s happening with trauma just haven’t been discovered yet. But the science has some very good, detailed, and reliable answers. Here, I try to put some of it into context for you. I hope it helps. It would be great to hear your thoughts and input on this subject…and whether you found this episode informative and helpful. Please rate this episode and leave me your comments! Your input is appreciated! Please remember to do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; the best way for you to do that is to Start By Believing. Because, we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. Additionally, here are some links you might find informative, helpful, and resourceful. Please learn about these people and organizations and support them financially if at all possible. They are there for you! Instagram: @coopscw Instagram: @plcnowhere

Several months ago I started noticing on my Instagram feed, several posts and reels that were initiated by an organization called Callisto. I was not particularly paying attention to these posts until one day I noticed one that was entitled “Sexual Assault Prevention,” and had the phrases, “Holding perpetrators accountable,” “Consent education,” “Changing the culture,” and “Bystander intervention.” All of these were principles and subjects that I hold dear to my heart and have taught in my many years as a sexual assault investigation trainer and consultant, and still do. I was then and there, suddenly, very interested in Callisto and what they were all about. Throughout the following year I learned more and more about Callisto and knew that eventually I would reach out to them and find out if there was someone on their staff who might be willing to be a guest on this show and tell the world all about the organization so that my audience could become educated about Callisto, and what they had to offer. But also wanted them on my show as a way to help spread the word about Callisto Vault, and how this organization could gain more attention and support, and therefore more participants in the confidential Callisto Vault Matching System. This system allows survivors of rape or sexual assault to safely and confidentially determine whether others have been harmed by the same perpetrator without having to publicly disclose or report their assault to authorities. I reached out to Callisto with my request for someone to be a representative of their organization to be a guest with me on SASS. To my very pleasant surprise, I was set up for an appointment with the CEO of Callisto, Tracy DeTomasi. The greetings and formalities were attended to, and Tracy agreed to be on the show. And what an episode this is…Tracy is the consummate professional, and as I learned, the exceptional choice of the organization to be the CEO of Callisto. (Your opportunity to read the official announcement of Tracy’s 2022 appointment as CEO of Callisto and learn more about her amazing qualifications and past achievements can be found ) This episode will not disappoint! To learn more about Callisto and the phenomenal work they are doing to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault, check out their website at: Other sites I hope you will check out include:

Activation and discretion warning: This episode contains explicit and graphic descriptions of physical assault, animal abuse, sexual assault, and rape. Caution and discretionary action are required. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme self-care in listening to this episode and if you are activated or triggered and need help, call the national sexual assault telephone hotline at 1-800.656.hope; that’s 1-800-656-4673. A little bit about my guest this week, Merle Yost: Merle Yost is a psychotherapist, author of six books, and teacher. His last book is , and he is here promoting his new workshop series, Seven Steps to Powerful Boundaries. He has been a private practice therapist for over 30 years and specializes in trauma, particularly for men sexually abused as children. He is an Approved Consultant in EMDR, a San Francisco Gestalt Institute graduate, has a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology: Transpersonal Specialization, and a B.A. in Management. Merle loves to discuss the positive changes that his workshop series makes in many people's lives. This is one of those “hold-on-to-your-hat!” episodes…on several levels! Merle Yost is my guest this week, and he ranks up there as one of the most accomplished professionals I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing and getting to know about his truly mind-blowing life-story. First just let me tell you that Merle dedicated his adult life to becoming educated and skilled at learning the intricate understandings of the human mind and behaviors. The amazing aspect of this achievement is that he did so despite what many people would have considered a future-ending childhood filled with a tremendous amount of physical, emotional, and sexual pain and assault from his father… despite enduring a cult-like childhood of emotional turmoil and abuse from his mother…despite the emotional turmoil of spending much of his youth and young adulthood in a dissociative state. And all the while, suffering from the confusing and embarrassing condition of gynecomastia, which he knew nothing about; only that it brought on an immense amount of teasing and physical abuse.  After hearing Merle’s story, you would think that the chances of succeeding in life and accomplishing the dream of becoming a psychotherapist and a marriage and family therapist, as well as an expert in gynecomastia who could help others through their own confusion and shame, would be next to nil. But Merle faced the horror and pain of his childhood and young adulthood, and persevered. He went on to open a psychotherapy practice which became full, almost immediately. He wrote 6 books, several of which became best-sellers. He’s writing his seventh book now. And he wrote, produced, and launched an online video workshop entitled “Seven Steps to Powerful Boundaries.” And he’s now writing his seventh book—a memoire. There’s nothing about Merle that won’t impress and astound you. He’s amazing. And I’m honored to call him friend, and honored that he agreed to be on this show! I hope you’ll listen to this episode, and then that you’ll tell everyone you know that they should listen to it, too! I’m very convinced you won’t be disappointed or sorry that you did! There’s healing in his story for everyone! Here are some ways to learn more about Merle, to subscribe to his video workshop series, and to buy his books:  Business Name: Merle Yost, LMFT/Unspoken Boundaries Website:  Link to Book on Amazon, Facing the Truth of Your Life:  LinkedIn:  Instagram: Additional Website: Additional links I hope you’ll check out:  https://startbybelieving.org #unspokenboundaries #merleyost #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #retireddetective #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed#safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #ericbarreras #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #baylor #ashforduniversity #uofaglobalcampus #psychologymajor #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Some might find this episode and think, “This is a shameless plug for Dave’s wife’s cousin.” But the honest truth is, that is not my intention at all! I ran across my wife’s cousin’s Facebook page and saw that she had started a new business. “She” is Tiffany Thomson. The thing that caught my eye was that Tiffany, who I haven’t seen since about 2005 or so, had updated her Instagram profile picture and I noticed that she had recently started a conflict coaching/mediation/public speaking/meditation/training practice called Create Peaceful Solutions…all based on being trauma informed. When I read more about her business, I noticed that she specifically worked with trauma victims and survivors. I was stunned! The only things I remembered from my last contact with her was that she was a fantastic photographer at family reunions, and that she worked in the social services field…in some capacity. So, I reached out to Tiffany on Instagram Messenger and asked her if she might be interested in being on my podcast and asked her to listen to an episode or two, to see if she might be a fit for the show; then we talked by phone, and it became obvious that she was! I was elated that she could be a strong source of information and support for you, my audience. And she was excited about the prospect of providing some information that may be of some help to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault! It was settled, and we recorded this episode just a couple of weeks ago. I’m quite proud of this episode because Tiffany does exactly what I thought she would: provide some great insights about trauma and help to those of you who listen. And, as it works out, I’m not ashamed to push Tiffany’s services of coaching, instructing, providing a keynote, or just offering support to victims and survivors…of any type of trauma. So, I’m providing her email address, phone number, and her website address. She would love to hear from you. And I believe she can help any of you who reach out to her. Thank you all for listening to this episode. Please let me know what you think. Email me with your thoughts about Tiffany’s comments and her coaching service, and about the Sexual Assault Survivor Stories Podcast. I’d appreciate you following me and rating the show. And, if you’re a victim or survivor of rape or sexual assault, and you feel like you are ready to share your story to help further your healing journey, or help someone else on theirs, email me and we’ll discuss the possibility. It would be an honor to talk to you! As always, please do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault…the best way to do this is to Start By Believing (EVAWI’s campaign!). And please tune in again next week! Here’s how to get a hold of Tiffany: @create_peaceful_solutions (Tiffany’s Instagram username) Ph. 1-615-863-3101 Some other websites I hope you’ll check out:

If someone is serious about attempting to fulfil a significant, meaningful, and overwhelmingly difficult objective, the effort can often-times feel ineffective, even pointless. Having this type of purpose-filled lifegoal can be exhausting and often will end in frustration long before even a small dent can be made in the predicament. Especially if that objective is being fueled by a large accumulation of the populace who carry long-held misunderstandings of the scope of the problem, confusion on what the definition of the problem is, and/or is blatantly apathetic to the scourge. The measure of frustration is exacerbated if the plague seems to be supported, even if unwittingly, by an under-educated and seemingly indifferent social norm. When that menace is child, adolescent, or adult rape and sexual assault, the individuals striving to combat it must navigate a complex landscape of societal attitudes, legal intricacies, and deeply rooted misconceptions. Addressing such a pervasive and complex issue requires a multifaceted approach that includes education, advocacy, and legislative reforms. It becomes crucial to dismantle the prevailing myths surrounding rape and sexual assault, fostering a culture of empathy and awareness of the impact of trauma. As these dedicated efforts persist, it is imperative to emphasize the importance of community involvement, encouraging conversations that challenge harmful norms and empower survivors. By fostering a collective commitment to change, progress can be achieved, and the fight against sexual violence can evolve into a transformative force for societal well-being. Someone who is focused, intentional, and resolute on finding a corrective pathway to accomplishing such a tremendous and overwhelming mission can easily become exhausted and needs consistent and constant support, both emotionally and practically, to sustain their commitment. The journey towards achieving such a formidable mission demands not only inner strength but also a reliable network of allies, resources, and encouragement. In the face of persistent challenges and setbacks, having a robust support system becomes indispensable, offering the necessary motivation and reassurance to navigate the complexities of the endeavor. In my experiences of investigating the horrific and devastating crimes of rape and sexual assault, on persons of any age, as well as in my work as a trainer/consultant in this field, and now as the host of this podcast, which is dedicated to awareness and healing from these crimes, I have had the pleasure and honor of working with a multitude of both individuals and organizations whose efforts are directly involved in this very goal…reducing the prevalence, and increasing the awareness and positive societal responses, to rape and sexual assault. In fact, I have strived to highlight many of those individuals and organizations on this show. One of those individuals, who has in fact been a guest before, is back this week: Jan Broberg is here. I brought her back again to update us on what she is doing to further all those difficult, yet meaningful efforts to accomplish that which needs to be done to fight rape, sexual assault, and the apathetic societal norms that are pervasive all around us. I brought Jan back on the show as my way of providing an avenue of helping replenish her, even if in a small degree…to provide that very consistent and constant support that I just mentioned; to provide a measure of emotional and practical encouragement to help sustain her and her commitment to victims and survivors of all ages, as she had done for me in agreeing to be on my show and allowing me to be the co-host on her podcast. And to provide you, my listeners, with her ongoing sense of focus, intention, and resolution that this work takes. She’s got it. As do all the people that work with her in her non-profit foundation, and those who are members of her Thrivivors On-line Community. Jan is one of those impressive people who are doing the hard work, like many others in this small-but-mighty force of people around the globe who are striving toward the same ends. Jan won’t quit. She as much as says so in this episode. It’s powerful and it’s meaningful. I hope you listen to this, and that you Start by Believing; because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. Here are some critically important links I would appreciate you looking into: #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Last Wednesday I was just sitting at my desk working on this podcast, and out of the blue I got a text from my good friend and former SASS Podcast guest, and Trauma-informed Peak Performance Specialist, Arci Grey! Arci wanted to schedule a phone conversation with me…which I did. We scheduled the call for Thursday…and it wasn’t just a friendly, catch-up call, she was excited to tell me about a FREE trauma-informed, healing workshop series that she is putting on, and wanted to see if I would help her get the word out…HECK, YEAH!!—of course I want to help! Breaking the Invisible Barriers of Trauma is a three-part workshop that she is streaming live, and recording so that if you sign up, you’re eligible to watch it anytime that is convenient for you, and you can watch it over and over! Here's the deal…once we started the conversation, and she told me why she was calling, I asked her if I could record our conversation, and asked her to make the announcement so that I could post our call and let her share her excitement about the upcoming workshop series. The conversation turned into quite the discussion, and I decided to make it a full Bonus Episode! My recommendation is: take a listen! You’ll be glad you did! Arci’s workshop series is going to be awesome! Here’s where you go to sign up!!.... —OR— go to her website (which you should do anyway, cuz it’s awesome, and you’ll learn tons, and there’s a blog you need to check out):   Sign up for the workshop series! Like I said, it’s free! And it’s going to be amazing! Thank you, Arci!!! Arci’s past episodes on Sexual Assault Survivor Stories: And here are some other links you should definitely, please, take a look at: #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Last week’s episode featured a series of guests who, during their episode interviews, chose to recognize and celebrate the SASS format, its purposes and successes, and the healing benefits of being part of this podcast. I took clips of those episodes and compiled them into a succession of the comments that they made about the show. The episode was such a hit, and I received some great feedback and comments about the show, that I decided this week, as my first episode of this new year, to compile the remaining comments that the rest of my 2023 guests had made and put together a Part 2 as my first episode of 2024! As I mentioned last week, I couldn’t be more thrilled and appreciative of the comments these guests made because it shows that my goals and purposes for this podcast are being met. And I also want to repeat that it is a blessing for me to be able to provide this platform for victims and survivors who willing to share their stories of rape and sexual assault. These narratives not only help the guests but also offer healing and growth to the listener. This week's clips are from the episodes of the following guests, in this order: Cashaye Barrera; Jessica Pride; Caroline Markel Hammond (Part 2); Emily Stroia; Abigail Alvarado; Bailie; Scarlett Robinson; Lee Cooper; Ruthie Uhl; Ashleyann Garcia; and Yri Stafylaki. For me, as the host and producer of this SASS, I am elated at the success and growth of this show. 2023 truly was a year of growth beyond my wildest dreams. And because of the accomplishments that have been attained, I am looking forward to even more opportunities for not only growth, but an expansion of what this podcast will be providing in the coming months. 2024 is going to be an incredible year for exciting collaborations and alliances that will further the growth of community and camaraderie for both past and future guests, as well as for my entire listening community. You can be a part of the growth by subscribing to this show, giving the show a rating, and by telling everyone you know about the amazing healing that is taking place. As always, please remember to Start by Believing in order to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. And please remember to subscribe and rate Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on the platform you use. So, all of this helps the show to grow and reach more people; thank you! davemarkel@gmail.com #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

64. Dave Markel: The 2023 Year-end Episode of Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. 2023 has been an amazing year of growth for Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. It’s terribly sad that there is a need for this podcast to exist in our world. Yet, it’s a blessing to provide this platform for victims and survivors who willing to share their stories of rape and sexual assault. These narratives not only help the guests but also offer healing and growth to the listener. I’m also grateful to have professional guests who bring tremendous insights and education on trauma-informed approaches, teach us various tactics to stay safe, and how to thrive despite the horrors of rape and sexual assault. This week's list of clips are from the episodes of the following guests, in this order:  Nicole Florisi; Von Kleam; Arci Grey; Haley Roma; Caroline Markel Hammond; Anne Winslow; Tracy Matheson; Amanda Coleman; Julien Jones; Alan Manwaring; Leanne Cameron; Donnell Cameron; Tim Cocanougher; McCall Allen; Katie Stewart; Cassie Nicholas; Nicole Snell; Mallory Tingey; and Joshua White. The growth of this podcast this year has been beyond my wildest dreams. And I truly hope it continues to grow and to bring help and healing to all my listeners, regardless of your reason for listening in. I hope you’re more than just a casual listener though. I hope you’re a regular listener/subscriber who is growing and healing, or growing in your knowledge and understanding of what it means to be trauma-informed, as well as provide trauma-informed responses and services to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. As always, please remember to Start by Believing, in order to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. And please remember to hit the subscribe button on the platform provider page that you use to listen to Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. davemarkel@gmail.com #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

This is the concluding episode of Yri Stafylaki. It’s her continuing story of how her bad situation with an abusive boyfriend got worse. Worse because the fallout of what it means to be in an abusive, narcissistic relationship is often extremely messy. Yri had been living her athletic dream of being on a basketball team that meant the world to her. She wasn’t a shining star player, but she had worked hard enough to make the team, and even harder to realize her dream of becoming a player who had become instrumental in scoring points and helping bring wins to the team. Being a part of this organization was a big deal to Yri. But the problem became the fact that her once loving boyfriend, who was an athlete colleague on a men’s basketball team in the mutual league setting as her own women’s league, became abusive, even to the point that a rape resulted, Yri’s place on her team was brought to a traumatic culmination. When she let her coach know about the rape, he ignored the seriousness of the situation and continued to allow Yri’s boyfriend to be in the gym at the same time as Yri, against the agreement he had made with her. During an important game, when her boyfriend showed up in the audience, Yri became distraught, even to the point of tears during halftime in the locker room. Yri was kicked out of the locker room by her coach for being disruptive. Afterward, Yri made the difficult, but necessary, decision to quit the team in order to not have to see her rapist any longer. Then, things got even worse. You’ll have to listen to the episode to get the full story. There are no happily-ever-after endings in a rape story. But there can be healing and victories; such is the case with Yri. While she doesn’t play organizational basketball any longer, she is dancing, and drawing, and writing…and she discovered the Sexual Assault Survivor Stories podcast when she was looking for some reprieve from the rape experience. And because of others on the podcast who’ve been brave enough to tell their survival story, Yri reached out to me and asked if she could be on the podcast also. And you’re the fortunate listener who gets to hear Yri share her story here, in order to help bring justice to other victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. If you’re ready to tell your story, you can reach me at , and we can talk about the possibility of you being on the show. And there are other ways to also help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; one of the best ways is to Start By Believing. Learn more about the campaign at the Start By Believing website, published below. Do it for the victims and survivors, and do it for yourself…because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. And if you’re a victim or survivor who needs resources and help, find out what may be available for you at Safe In Harm’s Way website, also listed below. You can help this podcast by becoming a subscriber wherever you get your podcasts. It also helps if you’ll leave a rating, a comment, and tell others about the show! Thank you!!   #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

It never ceases to amaze me…my podcast listeners that reach out to me with courage, strength, fortitude, and powerful resilience who are hoping to share their stories, not for glory or attention, but to help others who may find themselves in very similar circumstances with very similar experiences, in order to offer a sense of comradery and community, and to help others on their own healing journey: Yri is no less amazing! In Yri’s “Part 1” episode, Yri has courageously shared her harrowing experience as a victim of narcissistic manipulation and abuse at the hands of an athlete colleague who is on a men’s basketball team in the mutual league setting as her own women’s league. Initially, their relationship seemed promising, with shared interests in music and his genuine concern for Yri's struggles with self-harm. However, behind this facade of care and charm lay a sinister truth: her partner was a skilled narcissist who knew exactly how to expertly manipulate her emotions and perceptions. As their relationship progressed, Yri found herself ensnared in a web of manipulation and confusion. Her partner's conniving tactics slowly unveiled themselves, morphing the once-loving dynamic into a nightmare of emotional manipulation and verbal abuse. The initial care and concern became a guise for controlling behavior, leaving Yri feeling trapped and isolated. The depth of the abuse took a devastating turn when the relationship turned sexually abusive and demeaning. Yri recounts the horrifying ordeal of being raped by her partner while she slept, a cruel and violating act that shattered her sense of safety and trust. This traumatic experience marked only the beginning of a series of escalating abusive behaviors, leaving Yri grappling with the emotional aftermath and the daunting reality of what lay ahead. As Yri's story unfolds, you will be left on the edge of your seat awaiting next week’s episode that promises to delve deeper into the escalating horrors of her abusive relationship. You’ll hear Yri bravely continue to shed light on the escalating abuse and manipulative tactics employed by her narcissistic partner, revealing the unimaginable depths of suffering she endured from the traumatic fall-out. It's all so terribly sad, yet so terribly true. And despite how brutally honest Yri is in her telling of these horrific events and experiences, there are those who will dis-believe and blame Yri for the nightmarish acts of her rapist boyfriend. We all need to take a good, hard look at the circumstances that are shared in this raw and frightful story and learn what it means to “start by believing.” If you’re not sure what that really means, read the Start By Believing webpages of End Violence Against Women-International. ()  You’ll be doing your part to helping to bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. Which is critically important because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

One of the most difficult components of the sexual assault/rape healing journey is mustering the courage and strength to tell someone else your story. It can be formidable. Daunting even. But many psychologists and sociologists agree that talking about ones own sexual assault or rape experience can help in processing one’s emotions, provide a community of survivors that support each other, and create a sense of accomplishment and self-encouragement that provides a strong foundation for ones healing journey. Through my own anecdotal experiences and education I’ve acquired through formal scholastic channels as well as through professional trainings, I’ve come to recognize that those victims and survivors of rape and/or sexual assault who choose to talk about a sexual assault or rape experience with someone who is empathic and supportive can lead to some very strong and beneficial outcomes, not the least of which include: 1.     Emotional Validation: Sharing the experience with a supportive person can validate the survivor's feelings and emotions, helping them feel understood and acknowledged. 2.     Reduced Isolation: Discussing the experience can alleviate feelings of isolation and loneliness that often accompany trauma, as the survivor realizes they're not alone and have support. 3.     Healing and Coping: Talking about the experience can be a step toward healing. It allows the survivor to begin processing their emotions, which can be a crucial part of coping and moving forward. “Moving forward”—this is where Ashleyann is: she’s struggling, but winning. And her winning is providing the ongoing platform she needs for that continued forward drive. Her decision to come on the Sexual Assault Survivor Stories Podcast was the result of months of self-reflection, weighing options, and much contemplation. Ultimately, Ashleyann decided to come on the show, and at the end of her episode experience, Ashleyann said, “I am always, forever going to be so grateful for this.” Ashleyann joins many, many other SASS family members who have expressed very similar sentiments. Don’t forget to Start By Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Just a quick announcement explaining why there’s not a full episode this week, and to express my gratitude to you, my listeners! Don’t forget to Start By Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

This episode is short but packed full of information. I wanted to clear up some confusion that has been brought to my attention regarding the differences between “rape,” and “sexual assault.” I won’t go into those differences here; you’ll have to listen to the episode to find out what those idiosyncrasies are. And the other topic of this short episode is what it truly means to Start By Believing, and why it’s so important. Both of these issues are topics that are central to the purpose of this podcast, so I wanted to clear up the confusion that exists in some people’s minds. Thanks for listening! Please subscribe to this podcast, and please share it with everyone you know. You’re helping the podcast grow when you do those things! Here are a few websites I hope you’ll check out, and a few hashtags that you might find interesting! #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #evawi #endviolenceagainstwomeninternational #survivorsunite #rapevictim #retireddetective #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #thrivivors #sassyselfdefenseguide #ericbarreras #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #baylor #ashforduniversity #uofaglobalcampus #psychologymajor #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

It’s never easy to talk about a child being sexually assaulted by another family member, a family member who is an older brother, who knows better, who manipulates, strangles, and holds down his younger sister is even more atrocious. No one wants to talk about that. But talking about is what we need to do to help put an end to this wreckage. Ruthie Uhl is willing to tell her perspective. With her now-teenaged-daughters permission, Ruthie describes what this horrific experience did to their family. She tells it without pulling any punches. She describes the complex devastation and desolation that almost caused her daughter to kill herself. And she tells how she and her daughter pulled together to make new lives for themselves out of the wreckage. As you listen to Ruthie’s narrative, you'll be struck by her incredible strength and fortitude in facing this harrowing experience. Her story serves as a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Furthermore, it emphasizes the importance of understanding the prevalence of such devastating situations in our society. Join me in gaining insights from Ruthie’s journey, and let her compelling narrative be a call to action through increased awareness surrounding familial sexual assault. Here are some important websites and organizations to make yourself aware of, and to financially support, if you’re at all able to; every little bit helps.  #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Activation and discretion warning: this episode contains explicit and graphic descriptions of sexual assault and suicidal ideation. Caution and action are required. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme discretion in listening to this episode and if you are activated or triggered and need help, call the national sexual assault telephone hotline at  1-800.656.hope; that’s 1-800-656-4673. Or if you need help with suicidal ideation, call the National Suicide Holine at 9-8-8. In last week’s episode, Lee Cooper began his story of childhood sexual assault by telling us how it was affecting him as an adult. This week, he continues with those impacts and talks about how he managed to survive the scary and powerful suicidal ideation that permeated his life. This is the continuing story of struggle and devastation that Lee’s assault had on him and the daily aspects of trying to survive; the assault when he was 10-12 years of age impacts him still. Lee describes in detail how he has managed to navigate all the horrific and painful aspects of his healing journey. One of the most healing aspects of Lee’s tragic childhood and adulthood has been his study of photography and his growing photography business.  His picture taking is a particularly strong aspect of his healing. It takes him to glamorous, interesting, and challenging locations all over the world, provides him with new and fascinating friends, amazing photography targets, and the potential of financial opportunity. And his picture-taking abilities are exquisite. So much so in fact, that he has been invited to display his work at a prestigious, solo, three-month exhibit starting on December 9th of this year, and going through March 9th of 2024.  The Oldham Gallery will feature Lee’s work. In a recent publication, the gallery boasted of Lee’s work this way: Oldham-born Lee Cooper has travelled the world capturing the mundane snippets of life in all their glory and wonder, through his photography. From Blackpool to Las Vegas, his work focuses on the moments of existential loneliness in the humdrum moments of life in a societal system that appears to be crumbling away. If you’re anywhere near Oldham, England Dec. 9th thru March 9th, make the well-worth-it effort to go see Lee’s exhibit. Thank you for tuning in to Part 2 of Lee’s story. It’s the inspirational conclusion to this powerful, meaningful expression of Lee’s ability to overcome the horrors he endured. Until then, please remember to “like,” rate, and subscribe to Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. It will contribute to you doing your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. You can also do this when you Start By Believing, because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault.   Please visit these links: Instagram: @coopscw Instagram: @plcnowhere #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #retireddetective #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed#safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #ericbarreras #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #baylor #ashforduniversity #uofaglobalcampus #psychologymajor #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Activation warning: this episode contains explicit and graphic descriptions of sexual assault and rape. Discretionary caution is strongly advised. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme self-care in listening to this episode. If you are activated or triggered and need help, call the national sexual assault telephone hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).   Here it is. The hard part. This is the rest of Alan’s story. It wasn’t easy for Alan to tell, and it’s not easy to listen to. But it’s important to Alan to be able to tell his story, and it’s important that we all listen. Because talking about these horrible atrocities and discussing the prevalence of this rampant crime is vital to exposing biases and stigmas and reducing the prevalence of rape and sexual assault. Male victims of rape face unique challenges and stigmas that can make it difficult for them to talk about their rape; to come forward and seek help. So that makes Alan’s telling of this violence even more impressive and important. Here are some hard facts about being a male victim of rape: Underreporting: Male victims of rape, like their female counterparts, often underreport the crime. There is a significant stigma associated with male victimization, and many men may fear not being believed or being ridiculed if they disclose their experience. Stigma and Stereotypes: Societal attitudes and stereotypes about masculinity can create a barrier for male victims. There is a common misconception that men should always be strong and in control, which can make it challenging for them to admit vulnerability and seek support. This is true, even at young ages, because boys are indoctrinated to be tough and strong…it’s in our culture. Lack of Awareness: There is a lack of awareness about the prevalence of male sexual assault, which can make it even more difficult for male survivors to tell anyone about their experience, or to access appropriate services and support. Impact on Mental Health: Like female survivors, male victims of rape can suffer from severe psychological and emotional trauma, including symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and a range of other mental health issues. Limited Support Services: There are fewer support services and resources specifically tailored to male survivors of sexual assault. This lack of resources can make it harder for male survivors to find the help they need. Perpetrators: Perpetrators of sexual assault can be of any gender, but the vast majority of reported cases involve male perpetrators. This can add another layer of complexity to the survivor's experience. Recovery: Recovery from sexual assault can be a long and difficult process for male victims. Finding the right support network, which may include therapy and counseling, is crucial for healing. It's essential to raise awareness of these issues, reduce stigma, and provide support and resources for male survivors of sexual assault. Organizations like RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) provide information, resources, and hotlines that are inclusive of all genders and can be a valuable source of support for male survivors. Please remember to do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. How? Start By Believing. Because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. Here are some important resources that I would like for you to have:

54. Alan Manwaring: Ready to Tell His Story! My good friend and colleague, Alan Manwaring, has been guesting on Sexual Assault Survivor Stories for several episodes now, describing his take on the importance and impact of this show from his perspective as a survivor of childhood sexual assault.  He has also given his own opinion on how crucial it is for victims and survivors to have a platform to tell their story of sexual assault and rape, and how he perceives the healing process based on his experience with group therapy and the men’s survivor retreats that he has attended. But what he hasn’t been ready to do is share the story of his childhood experience of rape and sexual assault. That is, until now. Alan describes how the timetable of getting to this point has worked, and how he now feels that it is important to put his perspectives and insights into context. This is it. This is the beginning part of Alan’s story. I broke it into two episodes. You’re going to be impacted by this story, and you’ll be glad you tuned in. And then, you’re going to want to hear the rest of his story; you’ll have to wait ‘til next week. But it’ll be worth it. Please remember to do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. How? Start By Believing. Because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. Here are some important resources that I would like for you to have: …and some great hashtags, too: #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #retireddetective #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed#safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #ericbarreras #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #baylor #ashforduniversity #uofaglobalcampus #psychologymajor #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Activation warning: this episode contains explicit and graphic descriptions of physical assault, sexual assault, and rape. Discretionary caution is strongly advised. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme self-care in listening to this episode and seek immediate help through the national sexual assault telephone hotline if you are activated or triggered by calling 1-800.656.HOPE (4673).  This is the concluding episode of Scarlett Robertson’s appalling and traumatic assault: physically, sexually, emotionally and verbally, at the hands of her then-partner. I would encourage you to listen to parts 1 and 2 before you begin part 3, so that you will have a complete understanding of this convoluted and complex assaultive relationship. This episode continues in the description of the emotional and cognizant realization by Scarlett that her then-boyfriend had not just manipulated, used, and verbally assaulted her, but that he has raped her, and that the rape included an extremely painful physical assault. And then her immediate confusion about what to do about it all. When, after she left the scene of the assault and went to her home, she is shortly after confronted by him again in an irate, verbally abusive tirade and which ends with the theft of her personal property. Calling the police to report it all resulted in additional trauma…both then, and currently, as she struggles with the realization of the truth of what happened to her at the hands of Charlie (not her ex-boyfriend’s real name), but also at the hands of medical personnel when she had attempted suicide years ago, and by the response of the police when they showed up at her house to take her report. The fortitude that Scarlett exudes through it all, even while telling her story, is as astounding as it is commendable. The fact that she wants to make sure that her story gets out to the world is incredible. Scarlett wants to ensure that anyone who has experienced interpersonal relationship trauma, does not feel like they are alone. She and I both encourage all victims and survivors of rape, sexual assault, and emotional abuse seek help, reach out to support networks, and remember that healing is possible. Together, we can work towards a world where survivors are heard, believed, and protected. Part of Scarlett’s healing journey involves being a subscriber to the online community of Thrivivors, part of The Jan Broberg Foundation. If you are interested in joining and participating in the many aspects of the organization that are helping victims and survivors heal, there is a link below. October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And while most people don’t realize the prevalence of domestic violence in this country and around the world, what’s even more misunderstood are the dynamics of domestic violence, and the fact that most relationships that involve domestic violence, regardless of the gender identities of the partnerships involved, include sexual assault and/or rape. I want to encourage you, if you’re reading this, and/or are a SASS listener, to become more educated and aware of the dynamics of domestic violence and interpersonal violence, so you can become more active in recognizing the signs and symptoms of DV relationships and help those who are seeking help; so you can help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; so you can be trauma-informed and not risk re-traumatizing victims and survivors; and so you can help provide resources and further the knowledge base in our communities about what needs to be done to help reduce the prevalence of domestic violence, rape, and sexual assault. The best start to all of this is to Start By Believing. Because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. Please subscribe, rate, and share Sexual Assault Survivor Stories with everyone you know, whether you listen to every episode or not. Subscribing helps SASS grow. And please leave a comment…I would greatly appreciate hearing from you. OR, you can also leave a note for Scarlett. Thank you!

Activation warning: this episode contains explicit and graphic descriptions of attempted suicide, physical assault, sexual assault, and rape. Discretionary caution is strongly advised. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme self-care in listening to this episode and seek immediate help through the national suicide hotline by dialing 988 if you are emotionally activated or triggered by the content of this episode. Or if you are activated and need help from the national sexual assault telephone hotline, call 1-800.656.hope (4673). This is Part 2 of a 3-part series. Be sure to listen to part 1 before you begin part 2…otherwise you’ll have difficult time understanding the nuances of the events that unfold in this episode. Picking up from where we left off in Episode 51, Scarlett Robertson shares more of her complex, yet intriguing and compelling story about her on-again-off-again relationship with “Charlie” (not his real name). Scarlett is even confused by her choices, and questions her own judgement…not even realizing that what she experienced and endured was rape, and re-unites with her rapist, Charlie. Circumstances and events that transpired over the weeks that she was with Charlie make her finally realize that she doesn’t want to be with him any longer, but still doesn’t recognize that what he’d done to her before their first breakup was rape. That is, until years after she splits with Charlie, later gets married, becomes pregnant and gives birth to her son, and is going through tumultuous times with her new marriage, her work, and the COVID epidemic, that she receives some out-of-the-blue enlightenment...a realization that changes her life and sets her on a path to healing. You’ll be blown away with the twists Scarlett’s story involves. To anyone who has experienced interpersonal relationship trauma, please know that you are not alone. Seek help, reach out to support networks, and remember that healing is possible. Together, we can work towards a world where survivors are heard, believed, and protected. Part of Scarlett’s healing journey involved becoming in The Jan Broberg Foundation’s online community of Thrivivors. If you are interested in joining, and participating in the many aspects of the organization that are helping victims and survivors heal, there is a link below. October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And while most people don’t realize the prevalence of domestic violence in this country and around the world, what’s even more misunderstood are the dynamics of domestic violence, and the fact that most relationships that involve domestic violence, regardless of the gender identities of the partnerships involved, include sexual assault and/or rape. I want to encourage you, if you’re reading this, and/or are a SASS listener, to become more educated and aware of the dynamics of domestic violence and interpersonal violence, so you can become more active in recognizing the signs and symptoms of DV relationships and help those who are seeking help; so you can help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; so you can be trauma-informed and not risk re-traumatizing victims and survivors; and so you can help provide resources and further the knowledge base in our communities about what needs to be done to help reduce the prevalence of domestic violence, rape, and sexual assault. The best start to all of this is to Start By Believing. Because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. Please subscribe, rate, and share Sexual Assault Survivor Stories with everyone you know, whether you listen to every episode or not. Subscribing helps SASS grow. So, thank you! Part 3, the conclusion of Scarlett’s 3-part series, comes to life next Tuesday, October 10th, 2023…don’t miss it!

Activation warning: this episode contains explicit and graphic descriptions of attempted suicide, physical assault, sexual assault, and rape. Discretionary caution is strongly advised. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme self-care in listening to this episode and seek immediate help through the national suicide hotline by dialing 988 if you are emotionally activated or triggered by the content of this episode. Or if you are activated and need help from the national sexual assault telephone hotline, call 1-800.656.hope (4673).   This was a deeply moving and emotional episode as I interviewed Scarlett Robertson, who shared her harrowing journey from trauma to empowerment. Scarlett's story is one of unimaginable relationship manipulation, rape, physical assault, and her search for justice and healing. Scarlett’s journey started with a relationship that gradually turned into a nightmare. Her then-boyfriend, “Charlie,” (not his real name) put her through a series of traumatic events in which she was imprisoned, both physically and emotionally, leading to her rape and physical assault. The relationship was also full of constant verbal abuse and gaslighting. And all of this was exacerbated by the fact that her own personal life before “Charlie” was already full of turmoil, self-doubt, and difficult relationships with her parents and a boyfriend previous to “Charlie.” This episode is only Part 1 of what will be at least a 2-part series. While there are more difficult times that Scarlett experienced, she also is fortunate to have become involved with a very loving man who became her husband and continues to help her in her healing journey…all of which will be told about by Scarlett in our ongoing interview. You won’t want to miss it! To anyone who has experienced trauma, please know that you are not alone. Seek help, reach out to support networks, and remember that healing is possible. Together, we can work towards a world where survivors are heard, believed, and protected. Part of Scarlett’s healing journey involved becoming in The Jan Broberg Foundation’s online community of Thrivivors. If you are interested in joining, and participating in the many aspects of the organization that are helping victims and survivors heal, there is a link below. Part 2 of Scarlett’s story comes to life next Tuesday, October 3, 2023…don’t miss it!