#divorceattorney

Okay, WTF is a collabortive divorce and how would you know if you qualify for one?

Today on our show, we have Austin attorney, Kris Algert, who is an EXPERT on collaborative divorces.

A collaborative divorce is a dispute resolution process where both parties commit upfont that they will not go to court. Meaning, both parties are committed to being HONEST and WILLING to WORK TOGETHER to resolve issues. 

If you've wondered:

Can I get a collaborative divorce?

What's the difference between a collaborative divorce and regular divorce?

Then this episode is for YOU!

A collaborative divorce offers a unique way to resolve a divorce without spending a ton of money: less court fees, less time. HOWEVER, and this is BIG however, you need to understand that a collaboritve process is NOT for every divorcing couple. 

Make sure you listen to the episode to learn whether a collaborative divorce would be right for you. 

If you're interested in learning more about a collaborative divorce, make sure you ask a prosepctive divorce attorney these questions:

1) What percentage of your work is in doing collaborative divorces?

2) What do you view the benefits and the risks are for my case?

3) Ask what the likelyhood of success for their case to be resloved with a collaboritve divorce?

To reach Kris Algert, please visit: Head here!

Make sure you check out our private communites!

Patreon: if you need to listen to our episodes privately

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Facebook: if you need more support

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And make sure you're following us on Instagram!!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Child Support. You know it, you love/hate it. But what if you need to modify it?

How do you modify child support post divorce decree?

How can you get more child support?

How do you know if you're paying too much in child support?

Well, friends, we've got your answers right here on How Not to Suck at Divorce. 

Here's what you need to consider:

1. What has changed? (finanically, you need a 10% or more swing in either direction. Needs with the children also weigh in here.
2. Consider the past/present and future!
3. Get your facts STRAIGHT (see if it's worth it before you persue
4. Get a full strategy (ask you attorney for guidance here!!)

Let's lighten things up here with the link to Andrea's amazon sneakers!!

Let's see these sneakers!!

Remember friends, we are here for you and would love to support you in anyway we can. 

For more support, please check out our private communities. 

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com 

Patreon is for listeners who want extra BONUS episodes with private listening options, you can listen to our show without it being traced to your device!

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Our Private Facebook community is for anyone who wants more support!

We love you all! Please message us with any questions and follow up on IG!

http:www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Let us start off by saying that we LOVE therapy.

However, all therapists are NOT created equally and on this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce we are looking at the problem that some therapists create for their clients.  Okay...stay with us...

Dr Bill Doherty is joining us on this very special episode to shed light on a topic that needs more attention. We want you to listen to this episode to truly disgest the ideas discussed, but for the show notes, we will leave you this:

Be aware of comments that your individual therapist makes regarding your spouse or ex spouse without ever meeting them. 

Be even more aware of personality disorders that your individual therapist might claim your spouse or ex spouse has. 

This episode has LOTS of controvesial ideas, so please listen with an open mind. 

To find Dr Doherty online, please visit : http://www.discernmentcounseling.com

As always, we bring the information you need while navigating your divorce, the entertainment you deserve and the empathy you are craving. 

We are here for you every single step of the way. Pre divorce, during your divorce, and post divorce. 

We will guide you, maybe make you laugh, and hopefully help you feel less alone. 

For more community, please join our Patreon and Facebook groups.

You've got this and we've got you!

What is Nesting??

Nesting is when a divorced couple with children keep the children in the family home, or "nest", and the divorced parents spend their parenting time in the "nest" and their non parenting time outside of the "nest".

The pros and cons to this lifestyle are varied, and that's exactly why we brought on Beth Behrendt, who's "nested" for many years and even wrote a book documenting not only her experience, but the experience of five other families. 

Listen to this episode to hear Morgan's legal questions regarding the topic and Andrea's slighty taboo questions on the sticky side of "nesting". 

This episode will open your eyes to a completley different approach to living with your children post divorce. This lifestyle is NOT for everyone. Please consult your attorney and therapist before venturing down the nesting road. 

To get your hands on a copy of Beth's book, Nesting After Divorce, head HERE!

Beth also offers access to an exclusive group on Facebook to those who are "nesting curious"

 Facebook Group

As ALWAYS, Morgan and Andrea are here to guide you, support you, and entertain you along your journey pre, during and post divorce. 

You've got this, and we've got you!!

This podcast episode is not meant to scare you. It's meant to INFORM you. 

Please pay attention to the insight given by Steven Bradley and take note of these action steps.

1) Download the Avast App

to protect your phone from spyware that can EASILY be installed for someone to track you and listen to your messages. 

2) Install a VPN on your phone

3) Download the Tile App to help you detect traker devices

You can also hire Steven to help you walk through what you need to do to protect yourself:

http//:www.bradleytrainingconsulting.com

Our Family Wizard is a parenting app that helps protect you during and post divorce. More on that app later!

And now, a word from our sponsor:

Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. 

With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured.

And now for a limited time you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/notsuck. (See website for terms.)

"Self Care" can be MUCH easier than you think. Forget about the day at the spa or the daycation at the fancy hotels...those are great, but not everyone has the money and time!!

Here's something that EVERYONE can do. Meditate. Stay with me. Meditation does not have to be so "woo woo" and for people who spend their afternoon hugging trees. Meditation is a really valuable way to help you get your sh$t together, for lack of a better expression!

Listen to the calming voice and words from Lynne Goldberg, she's the co founder of the Breethe App, an app that's designed for the non meditator. You'll find quick and simple guided meditations that will help you reframe your mind and help you gear up for big moments in your divorce: signing agreements, mediation, etc. 

Just TRY it...what do you have to lose??  And you have EVERYTHING to gain!

To download the Breethe App, head here: https://breethe.com

And a note from our Sponsors:

How Not To Suck at Divorce is sponsored by Worthy.

Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. 

With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured.

And now for a limited time you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/notsuck. (See website for terms.)

How Not To Suck at Divorce is also sponsored by Soberlink.

 Soberlink’s alcohol monitoring system is the simplest and most efficient way to prove sobriety during parenting time. 

As we always say, you’ve got this and we’ve got you, which is exactly why we’ve teamed up with Soberlink to give you $50 off your device. 

To sign up and claim your offer, visit www.soberlink.com/notsuck

Okay, boys, this one's for you! But girls, you should listen, too.

There's some really helpful information given that we could all use!

It's not just women who need community during a divorce.

And it's often harder for men to ask for help. 

On this episode we talk to Mike Rosen, who hosts a virtual support group,(that doesn't suck), weekly, through a non profit organization called Men Living.

The power of knowing that you're not alone can help move somebody forward that's exactly why this group exists.

Mike equates the group to an "umbrella in a rainstorm"...and we ALL could use an umbrella in a rainstorm. 

So what's stopping you from checking this group out???  You can just listen on your first call, if that makes you feel more comfortable. This group is guys, just like you, from all around the world, here to vent, share, and help eachother through an exhuasting process. 

Be proactive and start the process of feeling better. And don't worry, this group is completely FREE. NO strings, NO scams.

Click the link below the calendar page on the Men Living site. The group is held on Tuesday nights. When you click on the "VIRTUAL CALL – SEPARATION/DIVORCE SUPPORTSUPPORT FOR THOSE WHO ARE TOUCHED BY SEPARATION/DIVORCE" there will be a place for you to register. 

https://menliving.org/calendar-now/

So if you are wondering:

Is there a divorce support group for men?

How can men get free therapy?

Where can I find a virtual support group for divorce?

LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE!

And remember to add yourself to our PRIVATE communites:

http://www.patreon.com/hownototsuckatdivorce

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And follow us on Instagram!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Inspired by a listener email, we bring you:

"Should I Change or Keep my Last Name?"

It can be a tough decision, but here's our bottom line: YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION RIGHT AWAY!!

If you're struggling with:

Is it okay if I have a different last name than my kids?

Will keeping my spouse's last name prohibit me from moving on after my divorce?

LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE!!

And don't forget, you have the option to keep your martial last name professionally, if that's the best decision for you, and you can go back to your pre marraige last name socially!

As always, we suggest that you run these thoughts about your last name by your therapist to get their opinion.

And Andrea wants you all to remember to not forget YOU in this decision making process. So often, we are consumed by what's best for our children-which is clearly important-but don't forget about you.

Whatever you decide to do, just know that there's no rush in this decision.  

And yes, Major Dick Zucker is a real story. I know...I know.

Hope this episode gave you some insight and a little giggle. 

Remember to join our private communities!!

Patreon (for private listening and extra information)

Private Facebook Community

(for community and relatable content)

And remember friends, we are here for you, always. Please message us with any questions!

DM us on IG!

You've Got This and WE'VE GOT YOU,

Morgan & Andrea 

Listen to this episode BEFORE you go into mediation. 

It IS possible to have a positive outcome from mediation, even if you feel like you your soon to be ex spouse agree on NOTHING.

 Here are 3 EXPERT tips (from a mediator herself) to help you reframe your mind before entering mediation:

1) You don't have to RESPECT your soon to be ex, but you still need to have some DIGNITY for them. In other words, treat them like a human who also has wants and needs (even if their wants and needs are questionable and they're acting like a total tool)

2)Start to think of the problem as something that's outside of you and your soon to be ex. Meaning, the issue is "who gets the kids this Christmas?" or "who gets the lake house?" or "who's going to get the collection of ketchup bottles?" (yes, that was an actual issue for one of Morgan's cases). The issue is not about YOU, and it's not about you soon to be ex, it's simply a "problem" that needs to be "solved".

3)Think about why you want what you say you want. This one is kinda about checking ego, and also just gaining some perspective on the situation. 

It's important to keep in mind that everyone loses something in a divorce. You're not gonna come of this thing with EVERYTHING you want, it just doesn't work like that. 

In fact, the old divorce joke goes, "if both parties are unhappy and feel they got cheated, then the attorneys did their job" I (Andrea) HATE that joke and it makes me want to scream, but that's the way it goes!

And remember, mediaiton, divorce, all of this mess is just going to be ONE event that happened in your life. It's not your life, you have a lot more life to live when this is all behind you. 

To find Joy online (and if you're in the great state of NY and would like contact Joy, visit:

www.joyrosenthal.com

And to access her course, head here!

https://courses.joyrosenthal.com/landing-on-your-feet

We are here for you, and here to help you not suck at mediation.

As always, please message us with questions!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

And join our private community!

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Chew on this: It's not the divorce that hurts the children; it's the conflict.

Coparenting can be REALLY hard, everybody knows that. But coparenting with someone who's really difficult, and someone who gave you hell during your divorce process is reaaaaallllly hard, believe me, we know. We have heard it all. 

So what the hell can you do to make this situation work? Well, we are going to tell you! Today, on the show we have Deb Conley, a therapist who specializes in high conflict coparenting.

Here are three ways you can reframe your mindset to help you BEGIN to coparent with someone who's not easy to coparent with:

1) Don't live in the past. (Look, we know they sucked when you were married to them, but not EVERYTHING they do as a coparent is sucking. Try your best to separate.)

2)Speak to them the way you would speak to a boss or a coworker. Take the emotion out of it. (Easier said that done, we know, but you have to reframe your mind to view this as a business relationship: the relationship of being effective coparents. 

3) Let IT GO (of control) This one sucks, but it's important. You can't control everything. You just can't. You've got help yourself determine the issues that are MAJOR that warrant bringing up your concern to your coparent and things that you need to just LET GO OF.

(If you are rolling your eyes and you want to scream, Andrea is with you. Having control is probably her favorite hobby)

But wait, there's more!!

Deb Conley offers a course you can take to help you be a better coparent. It's done virutally and not both you and your ex have to take it! (Although it does work better if you both take it!)

To sign up for the course, email:

paralegal.petrichlaw@gmail.com

Subject Line: CoParenting Course

In the body of the text, mention you heard Deb speak on How Not to Suck at Divorce and they'll be extra nice to you!

Course is available to everyone. 

BONUS EPISODE on this topic over on our PATREON channel- go listen NOW!

Aside from that, Morgan loves girls' trips, Andrea does not. 

Andrea is heading to Vegas this weekend with her kids to teach them how to gamble and party all night. (THAT'S A JOKE< CALM DOWN)

love you guys! Hang in there!!

Here are three action steps you can take to put you in the best position possible to keep your martial home. 

1) Learn how to best refinance/look at a buyout

2) Get creative with negotiations 

3) Remember to keep a business mindset

(We go deep into all of these steps, so make sure you take a close listen to this episode!)

If you've wondered:

How can I refinace my home?

How can I remove my ex spouse from my mortgage?

How can I convince my ex to let me keep the house?

How can I stay in my martial home?

How can I pull equity out of my house to payback my ex?

THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU!

Also, we are doing two BONUS episodes for this topic, both of those will be available on our Patreon channel!

www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

*one of our bonus episodes will be with a refinacing expert!

aaaannnnnd Andrea is obsessed with the Target tank tops and they're only $8.

So don't say we never nothin' for ya!

Hang in there, friends. We know this process is hard, but you've got this, and we've got you. 

The house.  A hot topic during divorce.

And for good reason; it's the house where you made lots of memories, especially if you have children together.  But since the house is likely an asset that you have as a couple, now that you are divorcing, it's an asset that will need to be divided. 

So, what the hell should you do with the house??

If you've been googling:

"Can I keep my house in my divorce?"

"How can I figure out how much my house is worth?"

"Do I have to split my house with my ex husband/wife?"

Then this episode is for you!

Let's break this down into three steps that you can take to help you through "the house" process:

1- Determine the value (either by getting it appraised or by getting a CMA- listen to the episode to learn what CMA stands for!)

2- Have a better understanding of what the court would decide to do with the house should you and your ex not reach a conclusion together (you will rely on your attorney heavily here)

3- Be prepared to negotiate with your ex. Kind of goes without saying, but keep in mind that house is something that can be used as leverage at some point in your divorce process.

It's really difficult for a lot of us to view something as personal as our home as part of a business transaction, but that's exactly why we felt that this episode is so important. 

And stay tuned for part 2 of "The House" where we are going to give you some pro tips on what you can do if your wish is to keep the house!

Oh, and Morgan is obsessed with Publix grocery stores...listen to episode to hear how she thought the name was pronounced when she was younger!!

If you need Morgan or Andrea for more insight and guidance, please DM or email...or come find us at the nearest Publix in the bakery section!!

Attention: Andrea tried accupunture and she's OBSESSED. 

Did you know that accupunture can help with anxiety?? It can. I'm not lying. 

In you're in the Chicago area, PLEASE check out Chicago Family Accupunture in Northbrook, IL. 

100% worth, tell them Andrea from How Not Suck at Divorce sent ya!

http://www.instagram.com/chicagofamilyacu

Okay, raise your hands if you're open to trying a new way of healing!!

Apparently, talk therapy doesn't work for everyone who's stuggling with overcoming trauma. 

Today's guest, Carrie Holladay, is a trauma healing coach and she's giving us an overview on somanic healing and how it could possibly with for you. 

What is somantic healing?

How to heal from trauma?

How to heal from childhood trauma?

How to heal from relationship trauma?

This episode is leaning a little "woo woo", we know, but stay with us!! Healing doesn't look the same for everyone, and if you've tried everything else and it hasn't worked, why wouldn't you be open to something different??

Somatic healing works with your nervous system to help your body release the trauma that you're storing in your body. 

The process can happen in groups on in one on one sessions. And, it can be virtual!

To find Carrie:

This episode is going to help you help your kids as you navigate your divorce.

Meet Sara Olsher. She's the founder of a company called Mighty and Bright, a company dedicated to helping parents help their kids through difficult transitions, like a divorce. 

Mighty and Bright makes stylish coparenting calendars that are designed for your children! They are have books, games and tons of other resources!!

And wise words from Sara:

Here are three steps you can take to show your child EMPATHY:

1) Get on their level- physically.  Speak to them eye to eye so you're not looking down to them when you're talking

2) Validate their emotions- refrain from using phrases like "don't cry". Let them cry. It's okay for your child to be upset. Validate their feelings by saying, "I know that you're feeling really upset right now. That's okay. I'm here for you"

3) When your child is hurt by the other parent's actions, you can tell them: "Mommy and Daddy love you very much. We do not mean to hurt your feelings and we are sorry that your feelings got hurt. Thank you for letting me know and I will make sure we do better." 

Go check out www.mightandbright.com to see how their resources can help you!

And here's a special link to a book that Sara wrote to help talk to your kids about Divorce!

Use CODE: DONTSUCKATDIVORCE for a special discount

https://mightyandbright.com/products/ebook-how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-divorce

And a nugget of wisdom from Morgan from our Fan Mail segment: If you find an attorney whom you cannot afford long term, but you really liked them ...you might want to consider paying them for a consultation. If can give you good feedback on your case!

Can you get divorced without f@cking up your kids???

In short: yes. 

So, what can you do?

If you are worried about screwing up your children by getting divorced, know this:

1) Your children are likely to sustain MORE damage by you NOT leaving an unhealthy marriage

2) There ARE things that you can do to help mitigate the pain your children experience during the divorce process!

In order to not totally mess up your kids by getting divorced, we suggest you:

1) Get insight from a children's therapist on how to talk to your kids 

2) Keep the information you give your kids age appropriate information

3) Assemble a community for them

(Make sure you listen to this episode to hear why Andrea is so passionate about step #3!)

Also, does anyone still watch the Real Housewives?? Andrea does, and make sure you listen to this episode to hear what Morgan thought of the hotel in Iceland that the Housewives cast stayed in a few years ago!

And remember, you've got this...and we've got you!

Are you worried about how much your divorce is costing you? 

Yeah, we bet you are. 

Well, lucky for you, listeners, we have you covered!

Here are some helpful tips on how to save money and avoid a major headache in your divorce:

*Have a PLAN (sounds obvious, but it's not) You and your attorney should have a plan in place- and know that it's likely that this plan will CHANGE

*Be mindful with how and when you're communicating with your attorney (billable hours, friends!!)

*Be prepared for the UNEXPECTED 

Avoid the "what the f#ck?!?" moments by ASKING your attorney what could possibly happen in your divorce case. 

And remember, it takes a team to help you through a tranisiton. If you are struggling with an alochol problem, Soberlink is here to help you. If your soon to be ex spouse is struggling with an alcohol problem and you're concern about their abilty to safely parent, Soberlink is here to help. 

Visit them: www.soberlink.com/notsuck

You got this and we've got you. 

You're getting divorced, which sucks. But now, you still have to temporarily live under the same roof as your EX!!!??

WTF.

We know, we get it. On this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we are going to tackle the subject of what you can do to preserve your sanity while still living in the same house with your soon to be ex spouse. 

Questions like:

Can I date other people before I get divorced?

Can I spend money on myself and going out if I'm still living with my ex?

How will my ex and I figure out kid time?

How do I make sure my ex and I are splitting household chores evenly?

Will all be answered!

We are nearing the end of season 3 of our show and we are SO GRATEFUL for all of our listeners. We know that you have a lot going on in your life right now and we are honored that you carve out some time to spend with us. 

We know that divorce is hard. We know it's long and draining. 
We are here to help guide you, offer you information, entertainment, and empathy and ultimately, help you not SUCK at getting divorced. 

Please rate and reivew our show!!

And message us on social, we would love to hear from you!!

We know that you're tired of pretending that everything is okay.

We know that your gut that your marriage is not going to work. So, now what?

If you have wondered:

"What do I do if I think I want a divorce?" - this episode is for you. 

If you're considering divorce but don't know where to begin, this episode is for you. 

If you're just miserable in your marraige, but feel stuck, this episode is for you. 

This podcast was designed to give you information, entertainment and empathy as you embark on the divorce process. 

We know that divorce is hard. We know that it's a long and draining process. We also know that life is so much better on the other side. 

Don't give up. Everyone deserves to be happy. 

You've got this and we've got you. 

How do I pick the right mediator for my divorce?

What does a  mediator actually do?

How long does mediation typically last?

How do you know if you should even try mediation??

If you have ever wondered the above questions, this episode is MUST LISTEN!

Morgan and Andrea discuss everything you didn't know that you need to know BEFORE embarking on the mediation process. Remembering that we are here to help you not SUCK at getting divorced!

Mediation helps you step out of the court system to come to a more creative solution for disagreements in your divorce process. 

Keep that in mind. 

Take a listen to this episode and please message us with any questions!

Hit us up on social media!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

You've Got This and We've Got You!

What do you need to lookout for towards the end of your divorce process??

Basically, that you aren't rushing the process. When we rush, we make mistakes.

Here are a few PRO TIPS:

1) Print out your Martial Settlement Agreement and CIRCLE what doesn't make sense to you. CIRCLE to find a SOLUTION. Ask your attorney to go over all parts that you circled. 

2) Understand all of the tax implications in your MSA. (Don't be caught by surprise)

3) If you're divorcing at the end of the year, evaluate whether it makes more sense (tax wise) to remained married until  Jan 2nd of the following year.  (could save you lots of money)

And remember: The aggrevation is temporary. The terms of a MSA (Martial Settlement Agreement) are permanment. 

Please rate and review this show if it helped you!

And follow us on Instagram!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

And Facebook!

http://www.facebook.com/hownottosuckatdivorcepodcast

TikTok

http://www.tiktok.com/hownottosuckatdivorcepod

And our website!

http://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Oh, and YouTube!

http://www.youtube.com/hownotosuckatdivorce