drama triangle

In today's episode we are talking with Diane Sorensen.  Diane is a Transformational Coach specializing in parenting and relationships.

Diane helps us figure out why we struggle in some of our relationships.

We learn about the Drama triangle and the 3 roles that we can find ourselves in.  I was fascinated by this talk with Diane because a friend mentioned the rescue triangle to me a while ago and I think it can be a useful tool to understand how we keep getting ourselves into the same frustrating patterns when we are communicating with our loved ones.

Diane doesn't just explain the 3 roles to us.  She gives us suggestions to recognize which roles we might be unknowingly settling into.  Then she suggests a game plan to escape the triangle!

So much goodness in today's episode.

To learn more about the Drama Triangle and Diane's work:

https://www.instagram.com/dianesorensen.bb/

https://www.dianesorensen.net/

The resource we talked about in the podcast that further explains the Drama and Empowerment Triangles:

Shift from Drama to Empowerment with This Transformative Workbook! (dianesorensen.net)

Discover how the perfectionist sunk cost fallacy could be holding you back and learn how to break free from its grip. From wearing clothes you hate, to staying in relationships or careers way past their expiration date, Sunk Cost fallacy is a lethal landmine for perfectionistic people. Find out if you’re making decisions aligned with your values or loss aversion, sunk cost definition for perfectionists, tricks sunk cost effect plays on you, why its challenging to see your own sunk costs, IRL sunk cost fallacy examples and how perfectionists can stop falling prey to sunk cost suck-i-ness forever.

Tired of waiting for “things to calm down” so you can FEEL better? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, the ability to fall asleep without obsessing over your to do list or PRESENCE with your family (no more catastrophizing) When you join Perfectionism Leveraged you get customized 1-1 coaching + the SKILLS you've never been taught that FREE you from sunk cost fallacy + lethal perfectionism landmines. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/services

Positive Perfectionist Practices for Removing Sunk Cost Fallacy:

1. Identify Sunk Cost Fallacy: Recognize where you're holding onto investments, relationships, or decisions you would not re-choose for yourself today BC you’ve “already spent so much time, energy, money or effort”
2. If You Want Your Future, Forget Your Past: Stop living in the prison of your past choices and exit to the playground of possibility. Dropping the black and white thinking that persevering = productive
3. Make intentional decisions that empower you for the rest of your life: Check your choices with your values and pivot away from unfulfilling situations or relationships.
4. Practice Makes Permanent: To progress 100x faster, make the journey funner and strengthen your interoceptive awareness consider working with a perfectionism coach

Highlights inside Episode 198 of Perfectionism Rewired:

00:00-Perfectionists + Sunk Costs

01:51-What is sunk cost fallacy

03:26-Shedding the Weight of Sunk Costs

04:56-Being Resourceful instead of limiting your resources

05:36-Sunk Cost Effect in Unfulfilling Careers + Unhappy Relationships

07:12-Why FEELS Smart To Continue Pouring Money, time, effort when you've already sunk

09:18-Putting yourself in the victim drama triangle

11:10-Sunk Cost With Example Baby Gucci Loafers

12:03-Quick Correct Choices with Embodied Presence Interoceptive Connection

13:32-when to persevere and when to pivot

14:36-Prioritizing your values over sunk costs

15:50-No longer a victim to chronic overachieving

18:17-Proud of yourself regardless of how much you accomplish

Rich Resources Mentioned In This Sunk Cost Episode:

• How I Lost 50 pounds by Being The Worst (Leveraging Perfectionism video)
• Perfectionist's Guide to Uncovering Victim Mentality  (Part 1)
• Mamba Mentality vs Victim Mentality (Part 2)
• Are You Living In The Victim Triangle? (Perfectionism Rewired ep. 181)
• Starter Perfectionism Rewiring 1-1 Coaching  Pack (steal of a deal)

HIGHLY CREDIBLE SOURCES ON SUNK COST REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:  

1. Dijkstra, K. A., & Hong, Y. Y. (2019). The feeling of throwing good money after bad: The role of affective reaction in the sunk-cost fallacy. PloS one, 14(1), e0209900. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0209900
2. Jarmolowicz, D. P., Bickel, W. K., Sofis, M. J., Hatz, L. E., & Mueller, E. T. (2016). Sunk costs, psychological symptomology, and help seeking. SpringerPlus, 5(1), 1699. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40064-016-3402-z
3. Schmitzer-Torbert N. (2020). Mindfulness and decision making: sunk costs or escalation of commitment?. Cognitive processing, 21(3), 391–402. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10339-020-00978-4
4. Schulreich, S., Dandolo, L. C., & Schwabe, L. (2022). Sunk costs under stress: Acute stress reduces the impact of past expenses on risky decisions. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 137, 105632. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2021.105632
5. Tait, V., & Miller, H. L., Jr (2019). Loss Aversion as a Potential Factor in the Sunk-Cost Fallacy. International journal of psychological research, 12(2), 8–16. https://doi.org/10.21500/20112084.3951
6. Zeng, J., Zhang, Q., Chen, C., Yu, R., & Gong, Q. (2013). An fMRI study on sunk cost effect. Brain research, 1519, 63–70. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brainres.2013.05.001

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In this week's episode Manpreet speaks about how anxious attachment as a child impact our adult relationships and how we move past this. 

Listen to learn more and join Heal Your Inner Child community and course to allow parts of your younger self to heal.

To apply to join November 2023 One to one coaching programme or 121 vip day  for 2024 and claim black friday discount book your discovery call here in December 2023 only

For Manpreet's FREE SURVIVAL GUIDE for the holiday click here

Here are some book recommendations to kick off your healing in my FREE guide to transform your journey and sign up to weekly newsletter

Follow us on instagram for Heart's Happiness daily inspiration for your mental health and healing.

Join our PRIVATE Facebook group to carry on the conversation and speak to others who want to find their own Heart's Happiness and heal. 

Subscribe to our videos on you tube.

Everyone deserves to find their own Heart's Happiness and this podcast has been created with so much love from my heart to yours. 

Love 

Manpreet

Show Less

Are you choosing protection over connection? Gain insight into how perfectionistic traits affect relationships by understanding the Drama Triangle. Learn practical tools to shift from a fear-based mindset to mamba mentality as we break down the roles of Victim, Rescue Ranger (Hero), and Villain and how perfectionists play all 3 roles with ourselves!

Ready to trade toxic stress for joyful success with proven, science-backed tools? You gotta check out the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator 6 Week fast-track Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator

EPSISODE 181 TIMESTAMPS:

00:00-Introduction

 01:26-Choosing Connection Over Protection in Relationships 

01:50-Two Powerful Tools for Empowerment 

02:08-Understanding Power Dynamics in Perfectionism 

02:33-The Drama Triangle for Perfectionists 

03:36-Exploring Victim Mentality 

04:25-Identifying Victim Signs in Perfectionists 

07:15-The Role of the Rescue Ranger (Karpman Drama Triangle)

09:33-Overcoming Hero Syndrome 

11:05-Understanding the Villain Role 

13:29-Breaking Free from the Drama Triangle into the Winner's Triangle

16:17-Moving Beyond the Drama Triangle 

19:08-Leveraging the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator

Uncover the key to creating the life you want. 

Learn about the powerful concept of the Empowerment Triangle in this minisode. Join Caneel as she explains the three essential roles within this triangle: the Creator, the Coach, and the Challenger.  Discover how the different roles on the Empowerment Triangle will help you step into your power. 

Emphasizing taking responsibility, Caneel explores how your choices, beliefs, and actions shape your life. Radical responsibility, embracing curiosity, and focusing your attention on all that you can control can lead to profound creativity, growth, and transformation.

Raise your awareness of the patterns that no longer serve you and choose the path of the creator, coach, and challenger to create the life you want to live. By embracing the roles of the Empowerment Triangle, you can tap into your true potential and be the powerful leader you were born to be.

Listen to the full-length episode on the Empowerment Triangle here! 

For complete show notes and additional resources, visit allowedpodcast.com

Welcome to the fascinating concept of the Drama Triangle, created by Stephen Karpman. This crash course breaks down the victimhood mentality that can keep you stuck and disempowered in your life.  Through a quick explanation of the three roles on the Drama Triangle, discover how drifting from presence and adopting a victim mentality can hinder your personal growth and prevent you from making a meaningful impact. 

With her insightful guidance, Caneel will empower you to reclaim your power, break free from drama, and step into conscious leadership. 

For complete show notes and additional resources, visit allowedpodcast.com

To learn more about the Sex, God, & Chaos team, click the link below:

www.sexgodchaos.com

Looking for help? Book an appointment with LifeWorks Counseling today:

www.lifeworks.ms

You can purchase your copy of Sex, God, & Chaos here:

www.amazon.com

To learn more about the Sex, God, & Chaos team, click the link below:

www.sexgodchaos.com

Looking for help? Book an appointment with LifeWorks Counseling today:

www.lifeworks.ms

You can purchase your copy of Sex, God, & Chaos here:

www.amazon.com

This is part 2 in how to create balance in relationship. Today we are talking about fitting in vs belonging as well as believing people when they tell us who they are.

When we approach relationship through the lens of belonging we are more likely to show up authentically and find those who really resonate.

When someone tells you they aren't available, believe them. Notice if you have a story coming up and then choose your story on purpose. So often we choose into the story that makes us feel miserable. (They don't like me. They could hang out if they really WANTED to.) But these stories do not change our circumstances. They just make us feel bad about our circumstances.

Notice the stories you're creating and choose the story that feels most supportive to you.

Click below for the following episodes:
Drama Triangle Part 1: Victim/Creator
Drama Triangle Part 2: Persecutor/Challenger
Drama Triangle Part 3: Rescuer/Coach
You Are Not for Everyone.  And That's OK!


To find me on social media, click here!
To work with me, click here!

In this episode we talk about patterns in your relationships which tend to keep you firmly entrenched in roles which can be very disempowering.  You might often find yourself coming to the rescue of others, always making sure that you look out for others.  Or you may find that you frequently end up in a victim role where you feel put upon or disregarded by others.

We discuss the drama triangle, a model of problematic interactions and conflict in relationships. This model was developed by Stephen Karpman, over 40 years ago and it is still very relevant to developing an understanding of relationship dynamics today.

In today's episode we focus in particular on two roles of the drama triangle: that of the rescuer and the victim.

If you are interested in finding out more about the drama triangle and Transactional Analysis you might want to listen to  our earlier episodes
Are you always the victim, persecutor or rescuer in conflict situations? - Understanding the drama triangle
How to use Transactional Analysis to communicate better

The Relationship Maze courses:
What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course:  https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

We all experience burn out from time to time. In this episode we will talk about navigating it through:
-Curiosity about how burnout shows up for you. Which symptom shows up first? 
-What things are and are not in your control? 
-Is this something you HAVE to do?  Or something you are CHOOSING to do? 

*Get your copy of Present Over Perfect here: https://amzn.to/3WkdIy0
*Get your bath light here: https://amzn.to/3GQNFZw
*Episode 12: Feeling On Purpose: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/11516475

To reserve your seat in my 6 week course or to book your one on one session, click here: www.maryannwalker.life 

Every victim needs a persecutor. This means often times we swing back and forth between the two in order to secure our position as the victim. We do this because often times our brain wants to be RIGHT more than it wants to be HAPPY. Turning on the prefrontal cortex helps us to step out of the victim/persecutor role and move towards the more supportive challenger energy that reminds us what is possible and what we are really capable of creating.  

Link to The Power of Ted: The Empowerment Dynamic: https://amzn.to/3ImVIiW
Episode 5, Manuals: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/11223907
Episode 18: What if the Path You Are on Leads You to Where You Are Going?: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/11867145


Book your session today at www.Maryannwalker.life 

Find me on Instagram and TikTok @maryannwalker.life 

The drama triangle is a dysfunctional pattern of interaction that perpetuates dysfunction rather than changing it. This week’s episode 176 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the dreaded drama triangle and how to get out of it!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! 

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of recognizing when you're in a drama triangle and what role you’re playing in it, then actionable steps you can take right now to break the cycle and turn this into a positive outcome for everyone. 

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

• The 3 roles that make up the drama triangle. 
• How each of the 3 roles play into one another to create a never ending cycle. 
• Sharing an example of this drama triangle that you may be able to resonate with. 
• Using the empowerment dynamic to get out of the drama triangle. 

It is important to note that healthy people can engage in this too from time to time. Understanding the drama triangle and knowing how to escape it is beneficial for everyone to know and utilize.  Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Ep 44. Comfortable vs Comforting 

Ep 3. Victim mentality

Ep. 172.  Seven steps to coming out of victim mentality

Email me at Barb@HigherPowerCC.com for access to the handout mentioned in this episode.

The Empowerment Dynamic (TED) book by David Emerald

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Boundaries Group Coaching program starts Sept. 28 

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Work with Barb! 

Buy Barb a tea

“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

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I’m offering Your Empowered Life, an 8 week transformational semi-private coaching program so that you can show up as the woman you’ve always wanted to be. Payment plans are available but if you pay in full, you’ll get a free “Toolkit for Effectively Communicating in Relationships” worksheet.

Applications Close 3/20/2024. Sign up at https://higherpowercc.com/empoweredlife/ 

 When we forgive, we should release that trauma from our bodies.

There are many tools in which to do this. For me the most powerful was aroma-cognitive behavior therapy.

To forgive doesn't mean we forget-oh no, contraire.

We forgive to heal. To grieve the incident.

 The goal is to step outside of the drama triangle-stop being the victim and choose to be victorious.

How do you do that? It begins with mindset. It begins with captivating your thoughts. It begins with stirring your emotion stop.

Think about what you're thinking about you have stinking thinking, identify your thoughts.

Why do you believe what you believe?

Is it something you were told the way you were brought up?

Or is it do you truly believe it and why?

Stop.
Think.
Identify.
Recognize...

Reveal to Heal from the Inside Out. Join the free workshop: https:lisadrennon.com

Presence of Drama Triangle by The Conscious Leadership Group

SUPPORT ME and ‘Buy Me a Coffee’ over at Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/seizetheday

Natalie Online

GAP membership

Twitter: https://twitter.com/natmillersnell

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nmscoaching/

Please come and join me at my free Facebook group, Dare to Be You!

Click here to download my free Self-Belief and Confidence Guide

Website: https://nmscoaching.co.uk

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/natalie-miller-snell/

Insight Timer Meditation: https://insighttimer.com/nmscoaching

In this week's episode we explore  the impact of complex PTSD in our family systems. 

You will learn about:

• Control Dramas
• Drama Triangle
• Complex PTSD in family
• Over functioning Vs Under functioning
• How to heal the family systems

Learn more about coaching services here

and book free 30 min discovery call here

Join our membership group Rewrite Your Story

for £9.99

Here are some book recommendations to kick off your healing in my FREE guide to transform your journey. 

Follow us on instagram for Heart's Happiness daily inspiration for your mental health and healing.

Join our PRIVATE Facebook group to carry on the conversation and speak to others who want to find their own Heart's Happiness and heal. 

Subscribe to our videos on you tube.

Everyone deserves to find their own Heart's Happiness and this podcast has been created with so much love from my heart to yours. 

Love 
Manpreet

In conflict situations we tend to step into familiar roles and often endlessly repeat the same unhelpful behaviour patterns. Karpman's Drama Triangle offers a useful model to understand the three roles that play out in these situations and what needs to be done to find a way out of these repetitive conflict scenarios.

The three roles we can step into are that of The Victim, The Persecutor and The Rescuer.

The person in the role of the victim feels oppressed, helpless and powerless and inferior. The stance in life is 'Poor Me'.

The person in the role of the persecutor is blaming, oppressive, critical and superior. Their stance is 'It's all your fault'.

The person in the rescuer role needs to help, find solutions, be supportive and allows the victim to fail. Their stance is "Let me help you'.

We tend to have a preferred role that we play in conflict situations. This role was usually formed in our family of origin and is therefore very familiar. However, in the drama triangle we also switch roles from time to time when one position becomes untenable. A victim can become a rescuer or persecutor; a persecutor can become a rescuer or victim.

Depending on the nature of your relationship you may be stuck in a particular familiar dance: one of you is always the victim, the other always the rescuer. One of you is always hard done by or helpless and the other needs to always support the other and enable your partner's difficulties.

When stepping out of the drama triangle the aim is to act in a more adult way, rather than from the perspective of child or parent. For more background info on the adult/child/parent model listen to our podcast of 7 March 2021, How to use Transactional Analysis to communicate better.

Nobody wins in being stuck in the Drama Triangle.  To step out of it you will need to develop more awareness of the role that you play and to take responsibility for your own feelings and behaviours.  Persecutors will need to learn to be more assertive rather than aggressive,  victims will need to learn to recognise their vulnerabilities and learn how to address them and rescuers will need to set more boundaries, allowing the other person to make their own decisions.

We explore ways of communicating more effectively and dealing with conflict in much more detail in our online course The Relationship Maze. Check out our website to find out more and to access other resources.

You can also get additional show notes on our podcast website.

Ashley is joined by Transformational Leader, Celebrity Coach and Law of Attraction expert, as well as New York Times bestselling author Christy Whitman to talk all about Universal Laws and  manifesting your wildest dreams. Christy is the CEO and founder of the Quantum Success Learning Academy & Quantum Success Coaching Academy, a 10-month Law of Attraction coaching certification program. 

Ashley and Christy discuss lack vs abundance mentality (wrong and bad vs right and good), the law of sufficiency and abundance along with the seven essential laws of attraction, energy mastery and what it means to be an energy container, the drama triangle, why we often talk ourselves out of our desires, the true root of evil (hint: it’s not money), and so much more! 

Christy has helped certify over 3,000 life coaches and has helped countless others to unlock their power to manifest. She has been on The Today Show, The Morning Show, TedX, and The Hallmark Channel and had her work featured in the media in various publications.  

Resources Mentioned:

The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power by Christy Whitman

The 7 Essential Laws: The Keys to Create Anything by Using the Laws of the Universe by Christy Whitman

Quantum Success: 7 Essential Laws for a Thriving, Joyful, and Prosperous Relationship with Work and Money by Christy Whitman

Learn More:

Follow Christy on Instagram: @christywhitman1

Learn more about Christy’s offerings: https://www.christywhitman.com/

Tune into the Desire Factor Podcast: https://www.christywhitman.com/podcast

Follow along on Instagram: @yogamagicpodcast and @ashleysondergaard.yoga

Learn more about Ashley and Yoga Magic at www.ashleysondergaard.com

Sponsors:

1:1 Cosmic Self-Care Session with Ashley  | Learn how to use your astrological birth chart to customize your self-care routines, rituals and practices. Use code ‘yogamagic’ to get $10 off a 1:1 session.

Get a FREE GUIDE to building the ideal morning routine specific to YOUR zodiac sign when you sign up for the Yoga Magic newsletter.

Relationships can take years of your life and can be one of the biggest factors stopping you from achieving your dreams and changing the world. Join live exercises with your host Yvette as she discusses the impact relationships have on your aura and your energy field, how to let go of the fear, pain and frustration of the drama triangle and why shifting your flow can bring you back into EAM alignment.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Relationships are so complex and can be one of the biggest things that derail you from your own life journey and you can spend years stuck in the drama of your own relationships which stops us from putting ourselves first and following our own truth.
• You’re here to make a difference in the world but the most important piece is you being in alignment and inflow because otherwise, you will be unable to truly live your purpose. The compromises and sacrifices that you make for a relationship are never worth it and if you clearly manifest it, the universe will create it.
• If you’re not in flow and your energy is tied up focusing on relationships that don’t serve you, what do you have to bring to the table in a new physical space? You have to let go of your pain, frustration, anger and resentment in order to align your aura and expand your energy field.
• Your aura is a recording device and a vibrational match to attracting more of the energy that you represent. You see everybody in life through the lens of what you have already experienced and you need to change yourself first before you will see a change in your relationships, to create a new paradigm relationship.
• The energy drama triangle consists of three disempowering energy positions, The pusher, the person who projects onto others, the puller, who is on the receiving end of the pushers projections and the protector, the person who solves the pullers problems and is left unfulfilled and angry.

BEST MOMENTS

“What are your relationships costing you in terms of time and effort? Because you do not have time to waste on relationships that do not serve your highest good”

“We can spend years and years stuck in the drama of our own relationships”

“You’re not sharing your truth because you’re scared of upsetting people and we end up giving our power away by staying silent”

“There are invisible energy cords between you and other people”

VALUABLE RESOURCES

Discover the power of EAM by visiting: http://www.discoveream.com/pod
www.discoveream.com/get-the-book
Gay Hendricks - The big leap

CONTACT METHOD

Official website: https://www.energyalignmentmethod.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yvettetaylor88/

ABOUT THE HOST

Yvette Taylor Creator of EAM - The Energy Alignment Method - a transformational self-help tool, and founder of the (NAME) Foundation. Over the last 6 years, taken EAM globally with over 50,000+ people in 41 countries by helping them find and release limitations and reprogram their energy, thoughts, beliefs and emotions, to change their life.

She also empowers others to TRANSFORM THEIR LIVES SO THEY CAN CREATE BUSINESS THEY LOVE THAT CHANGES PEOPLE, COMMUNITIES AND SITUATIONS ON THE PLANET. Whatever you do, never take Yvette on in a dance competition, she will beat you every time, If you ask her nicely she will tell you How many fingers she was born with?