esther perel

Do you want to know the secret to know if your chemistry will last? 

Are you wondering why you can't move on from your ex?

If you have questions about love and relationships, this episode is for you. Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is back. Esther is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Esther’s TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts.

If you've ever wondered when a relationship is worth saving or why we grieve after a breakup, Esther has incredible insights to share that you can apply to your own relationship. Let's discover the power of accountability in relationships and how it can trigger positive change. We discuss the art of turning conflict into connection. Also, we uncover the negative effects of losing curiosity and how it impacts our connections.

The conversation also fearlessly tackles the topics of betrayal, lack of trust, and the intersection of relationships, technology, and mental health. Get ready for a fascinating exploration of the narratives that shape our relationships, the dynamics between rationalists and romantics, and what truly makes a real relationship.

In this interview, you’ll learn:

• How to turn conflicts into genuine connection
• Why relationships often fail
• How to save your correct relationship
• What to do after a breakup
• How to boost trust and confidence in a relationship

It is truly a thought-provoking and heartfelt journey into the essence of human connection.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Thank you to Soho Works 10 Jay in Dumbo for hosting us for this episode.

What We Discuss:

• 00:00 Intro
• 02:12 When is a Relationship Worth Saving?
• 03:51 Why Do We Grieve After a Breakup?
• 05:14 Accountability in Relationships Can Trigger Change
• 10:00 How to Turn Conflict Into Connection 
• 14:10 People Try to Overcome Fear by Gaining Control
• 17:14 The Negative Effects of the Loss of Curiosity
• 22:09 Blaming the Other Doesn’t Solve Anything
• 27:21 How to Make Your Partner Feel Important 
• 29:10 Other Mediums to Express What You’re Unable to Say
• 36:01 Do New Things Together
• 38:08 There are Lingering Feelings that Stays Even After Breakup
• 41:53 We All Fear Betrayal and Lack of Trust
• 43:35 How to Value and Protect Your Relationship
• 50:50 The Real Story Before and After Betrayal
• 55:33 The Intersection of Relationships, Technology, and Mental Health
• 01:01:50 The False Relationship Narrative that Failed us
• 01:04:22 The Rationalists and the Romantics
• 01:06:23 What Makes for a Real Relationship?
• 01:10:04 Diversifying Long-Term Relationships
• 01:15:55 Your Partner’s Opinion Matters
• 01:21:11 The Real Definition of Self Confidence
• 01:24:59 We Are Drawn to People We Don’t Want to Become
• 01:28:03 Where Should We Begin A Game of Stories with Esther Perel

Episode Resources:

• Esther Perel | Website
• Esther Perel | Twitter
• Esther Perel | Instagram
• Esther Perel | YouTube
• Esther Perel | Facebook
• Esther Perel | Books
• Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author, Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies worldwide. 

Her celebrated TED talks have garnered more than 20 million views and helped people worldwide navigate their relationships. Her international bestseller Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence has become a global phenomenon translated into 25 languages. Esther Perel is also a New York Times best-selling author of, The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, a book that took a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity. 

Dr. Perel is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcast Where Should We Begin? — a podcast for anyone who has ever loved — where she gives her perspective on the invisible forces that shape the connections, dynamics, and conflicts in relationships.

In this episode you will learn

• The major challenges people encounter in relationships and how to navigate through them.
• Common misconceptions in dating and how to approach relationships with a healthier mindset.
• Why infidelity can occur even in seemingly happy relationships and the underlying factors behind it.
• Insights into rebuilding trust in a relationship, even after it has been broken.
• The essential expectations to set in your relationships for a stronger, more fulfilling connection.

For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1546

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More SOG episodes on relationships and communication we think you’ll love:

Vanessa Van Edwards: https://link.chtbl.com/1231-pod

Dr. Ramani Durvasula: https://link.chtbl.com/1195-pod & https://link.chtbl.com/1196-pod

Lori Gottlieb: https://link.chtbl.com/1191-pod

Where should we begin examining our problems with relationships, cheating, conflict, and more? Legendary therapist Esther Perel talks us through it here!

What We Discuss with Esther Perel:

• People who cheat don't necessarily want to leave their partner — they want to leave what they have become, or to get in touch with another part of themselves that they miss.
• Is monogamy a state that mating humans evolved toward naturally, or is it more of a social construct imposed for the sake of control?
• Most of us don't argue because we love conflict, but because we're trying to galvanize some kind of change that requires another person's participation. So how can we argue better for the sake of both parties?
• What we can learn from conflict — especially with respect to creating connection.
• As an expert in intimacy and human connection, where does Esther see us heading as a species when we can all have bespoke AI in our pocket that just exists to make us happy?
• And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/911

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Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!

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We’re sharing a very special episode from a frequent guest of the show, Esther Perel. In this episode, “Love in War with Esther Perel: Ukraine,” you’ll hear a couples session led by Esther, between a husband and wife whose family has been torn apart by the war in Ukraine. Through the lens of relationship, you experience both the horrors of war and the relatability of intimate relationships.

Esther Perel is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of many books, including Mating In Captivity. She’s also the host of the podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How’s Work?. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Esther Perel — The Relationship Episode: Sex, Love, Polyamory, Marriage, and More (Repost) | Brought to you by ButcherBox and Laird Superfood.

Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel (@EstherPerelOfficial) is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Esther is an acclaimed TED speaker and the host of the hit podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How’s Work?.

In this episode, Esther and I explore:

• How to find (and convince) mentors who can change your life.
• What she’s learned from Holocaust survivors.
• Polyamory and close cousins.
• Is there such a thing as too much honesty in relationships?
• Can we want what we already have?
• Why do happy people cheat?
• And much, much more.

This episode originally aired in 2017. You can find the show notes here: https://tim.blog/2017/05/21/esther-perel/

This episode is brought to you by ButcherBox! ButcherBox makes it easy for you to get high-quality, humanely raised meat that you can trust. They deliver delicious, 100% grass-fed, grass-finished beef; free-range organic chicken; heritage-breed pork, and wild-caught seafood directly to your door.

For a limited time, new members can get 2 lbs of free ground beef in every ButcherBox order by signing up today at ButcherBox.com/Tim. That’s up to $180 in savings per year.

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For show notes and past guests, please visit tim.blog/podcast.

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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, and many more.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Esther Perel — Tactics for Relationships in Quarantine | Brought to you by Magic Spoon and ShipStation. 

“Maybe you don’t feel that enough people love you, but I can tell you, there’s a world of people out there who need you at this moment.” — Esther Perel

Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel (@EstherPerelOfficial) is recognized as one of today's most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Esther is an acclaimed TED speaker and the host of the hit podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How's Work?.

Esther recently launched Couples Under Lockdown, a bonus mini-series on her podcast Where Should We Begin?, and the first episode aired last week and features a couple in Sicily several weeks into their quarantine. Esther will also host an international conversation about the new normal, what it means for our relationships, and how we can move forward in a time of social distancing, uncertainty, and grief. It will be broadcast live on Facebook and YouTube. The four-part series, entitled The Art of Us: Love, Loss, and Loneliness Under Lockdown, will be broadcast live at 3 p.m. ET on April 1st, 8th, 15th, and 22nd.

Please enjoy! 

This episode is brought to you by Magic Spoon cereal! Magic Spoon is a brand-new cereal that is low carb, high protein, and zero sugar. It tastes just like your favorite sugary cereal. Each serving has 12g of protein, 3g of net carbs, 0g of sugar, and only 110 calories. It’s also gluten free, grain free, keto friendly, soy free, and GMO free. And it’s delicious! It comes in your favorite, traditional cereal flavors like Cocoa, Frosted, and Blueberry.

Magic Spoon cereal has received a lot of attention since launching last year. Time magazine included it in their list of Best Inventions of 2019, and Forbes called it “the future of cereal.” My listeners—that’s you—get free shipping and a 100% happiness guarantee when you visit MagicSpoon.com/TIM and use code TIM. 

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Tim Ferriss Show listeners get to try ShipStation free for 60 days by using promo code TIM. There's no risk and you can start your free trial without even entering your credit card info. Just visit ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage, and type in TIM!

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If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in helping to convince hard-to-get guests.

For show notes and past guests, please visit tim.blog/podcast.

Sign up for Tim’s email newsletter (“5-Bullet Friday”) at tim.blog/friday.

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Follow Tim:

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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, and many more.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Books I've Loved — Seth Godin and Esther Perel | Brought to you by Hu

Welcome to another episode of The Tim Ferriss Show, where it is my job to sit down with world-class performers of all different types—from startup founders and investors to chess champions to Olympic athletes. This episode, however, is an experiment and part of a shorter series I’m doing called “Books I’ve Loved.” I’ve invited some amazing past guests, close friends, and new faces to share their favorite books — the books that have influenced them, changed them, and transformed them for the better. I hope you pick up one or two new mentors — in the form of books — from this new series and apply the lessons in your own life.

Seth Godin (@thisissethsblog) is the author of 19 bestselling books that have been translated into more than 35 languages. He writes about the way ideas spread, marketing, strategic quitting, leadership, and — most of all — challenging the status quo in all areas. His books include Linchpin, Tribes, The Dip, Purple Cow, This Is Marketing: You Can’t Be Seen Until You Learn to See, and What to Do When it’s Your Turn (and it’s Always Your Turn). Seth is also the founder of the altMBA, an intense four-week online leadership and management workshop.

Esther Perel (@estherperel) is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Mating in Captivity, which has been translated into 26 languages, and The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. On her podcast Where Should We Begin? Esther brings you into her office to listen to real life couples therapy sessions, and her newest Spotify project, How’s Work?, brings lessons from couples therapy to the corner office.

Enjoy!

You can find all links from this episode in the show notes.

This podcast is brought to you by Hu. Founded by family trio Jason Karp, his wife Jessica, and his brother-in-law Jordan Brown, Hu started as a paleo-inspired restaurant in NYC in 2012, and now they make amazing, plant-based healthy snacks, including their award-winning paleo/vegan dark chocolate. Their Simple Bar, of which I’ve devoured several in one sitting without crashing, has only three ingredients: organic cacao, organic cocoa butter, and organic coconut sugar, without any soy or other junk.

The Hu tagline is “Get Back to Human” because they believe people can feel and perform better when they eat foods with cleaner, simpler, less-processed, and less-industrial ingredients. Hu avoids emulsifiers, palm oil, dairy, soy or sunflower lecithin, and sugar alcohols. And all of Hu’s products are Certified Gluten Free, kosher, and Non-GMO. Get 15 percent off your Hu order by visiting hukitchen.com/tim and using discount code TIM at checkout. Make haste, as their holiday shipping cutoff is December 18!

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If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in helping to convince hard-to-get guests.

For show notes and past guests, please visit tim.blog/podcast.

Sign up for Tim’s email newsletter (“5-Bullet Friday”) at tim.blog/friday.

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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, and many more.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Psychotherapist Esther Perel (@estherperel) is back to answer your most requested questions.

The New York Times called her the most important game-changer in sexuality and relational health since Dr. Ruth.

Her TED talks on maintaining desire and rethinking infidelity have more than 17 million views, and she's tested and been exposed to everything imaginable in 34 years of running her private therapy practice in New York City.

In this episode, Esther explains:

How to foster relationship longevity.

The most effective ways to improve communication in relationships.

How to deal with criticism.

Letting go of emotional baggage from past relationships.

How to know when to move on from a relationship that doesn't seem to be working.

And much more.

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This podcast is also brought to you by Audible. I have used Audible for years, and I love audiobooks. I have two to recommend:

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

The Tao of Seneca by Seneca

All you need to do to get your free 30-day Audible trial is visit Audible.com/Tim. Choose one of the above books, or choose any of the endless options they offer. That could be a book, a newspaper, a magazine, or even a class. It's that easy. Go to Audible.com/Tim and get started today.

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For show notes and past guests, please visit tim.blog/podcast.

Sign up for Tim’s email newsletter (“5-Bullet Friday”) at tim.blog/friday.

For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.

Interested in sponsoring the podcast? Visit tim.blog/sponsor and fill out the form.

Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.

Follow Tim:

Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss 

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Facebook: facebook.com/timferriss 

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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, and many more.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.