family caregivers

Elder law and estate planning attorney Andrea Lee joins Suzanne to provide some tips for unpaid family caregivers caring for a loved one about the legal documents they need to have in place, and also some practical tips to keep in mind. Andrea Lee serves as an attorney for Legacy Estate Planning in Belleville, Washington.

Andrea says, "I'm going to share my own experiences, my own tips that I have, working as an elder law attorney for 15 years and then my own experiences as a caregiver to my mom, who has dementia, and is still at home with my dad.

"The basic legal tools that they need are so important to have in place. They're the financial power of attorney because that's the document that says, hey, if my parent is incapacitated, my parent is not able to make competent decisions on their own, can I make sure I have access to managing their finances? Can I make sure their bills are being paid? If my dad starts accidentally giving money away because he got an email from the Prince of Uganda trying to get money, do I have a way to help him out and support him, advocate for him financially, and legally? ... Second is that healthcare power of attorney... Oftentimes it falls to one child to be the primary caregiver. And if you are a parent, and you have a child who is helping you, then you should take a moment to thank them, because they are kind of the unsung heroes of care. But sometimes families fail to recognize the challenges that those caregivers might face, and the children who are not caregivers are sometimes so critical of the care that their brother or sister is giving their mom and dad, they might be harassing them about decisions that they're making, trying to tell them what to do. So that healthcare power of attorney, where you name that primary caregiver as the person that you trust to make these important medical decisions for you, are essential."

Andrea adds, "Maybe they have three daughters, and they love all three of their daughters, and all three of their daughters are responsible adults, and they trust all of them. And they're asking me, well, how do we pick which daughter? And I actually say, 'all things being equal, pick the best communicator. Pick the one who plans the birthday parties, pick the one who's reaching out to his or her siblings, and who's a good communicator.'

Learn more:
* Andrea Lee: https://www.waltar.com/andrealee/
* Legacy Estate Planning: https://www.waltar.com/

Hear more:
* Legacy Estate Planning podcasts: https://answersforelders.com/tag/legacy-estate-planning/
* Power of attorney podcasts: https://answersforelders.com/tag/power-of-attorney/

Answers for Elders is part of the Senior Resource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about her new series of gift-giving tips videos, which will be posted this month at the Senior Resource YouTube site. 

The first four videos:
* Print items – Mirador magazine, Nana's Books, Reminisce Books
* Free gifts – phone calls, cards, driving, 
* Technology for the total care team – GrandPad, RecallCue, Map Habit
* A little money, a little time – Make an extra meal, work on a hobby together, go out for coffee or a meal

Find the videos here: https://www.youtube.com/@SeniorResource

The products Lori mentions can be found on Dementia Map, a global resource directory at DementiaMap.com.

Learn more:
* Alzheimer's Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about caregiver happiness over the holidays. This segment focuses on ways we can give a little happiness to those who are caring for a loved one.

Lori says, "There's a lot of different stories out there from so many different angles, from people sending flowers or cards on a regular basis. Instead of getting a bill in the mail, you get something sweet and funny. That just kind of lifts you up. There are some actual caregiver cards. I don't know who makes them, but I bought some at one time and I've sent them all out, but they were just kind of hilarious or real heartwarming cards just about what you're doing, and how you appreciate that, which I thought was really, really special.

"I also love spa days and things like that with friends, or going out for coffee. Just a specific thing that does not cost much. A lot of times we're making a date to just get together and be able to reminisce and be able to breathe. It's about getting away from the chores, and feeling exhausted. I don't think it always has to be big and fancy and flashy. I think bringing inner generations into it, too, can just be a blast. When families get together and you get everyone doing things from a different angle, yet you're all there, and the kids are recording things. So you have those memories to be able to last, I think is important. And telling jokes... Sometimes it's old-time silly jokes or sometimes it's the little kids coming forward with theirs. There's just so much that people can do. It could be somebody coming over. Maybe one set of friends is gonna take them out and the other one's gonna clean the house as a surprise when they come back."

Learn more:
* Alzheimer's Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to share stories about how to find caregiver happiness over the holidays.

Suzanne shared a story. "When I met my husband, I'd been caring for my mom. And one of the things that I hadn't realized until I met him was that I'd forgotten how to laugh. I didn't have a lot of joy or laughter or lightness in my life. I had nothing but this heavy, heavy burden, and you just learn to live with it. And so, when a family reached out to me before the holidays, I told them, 'Whether they're a family member or a close friend of a caregiver, there's one significant thing you can do for that person. And that is to be primarily responsible for bringing joy into their life. Think about how you could do some things to bring joy.' There was three girls in the family. One daughter was taking care of mom and dad. The other two sisters lived about an hour away in different directions. What they ended up doing was, they called themselves the Joy Patrol.

"I remembering vaguely what they did, but this is really cool. They planned an event for the caregiver daughter. Once a month, one of them would take their place taking care of mom and dad. The other one would take them out someplace fun, someplace that they love to go. And they alternated every other month, and that was the gift for that year. It was the gift of the Joy Patrol. What happened was that they got an opportunity to get closer as a family. This was amazing. The other two daughters had the experience every other month being there with mom and dad all day. They realized what the caregiving sister goes through. They had a higher appreciation for that type of a situation. And the family caregiver daughter had something to look forward to. It brought this family closer, and it lifted the resentment that sometimes caregivers feel."

Lori adds, "When you said, I forgot how to laugh – that is serious. That is something that happens to so many people. We push laughter to the side, and we don't realize that our body needs that. It changes our physiology, and our mindset, and it gives us something to giggle about later on. You also mentioned about how families sometimes can be distant, or almost volatile, and being together and being able to appreciate one another and just sometimes getting to know one another again,  to be able to appreciate what's really going on in their life, and to be able to have that commonality of joy is just something... I love that they stretched it over the year, because a lot of times people will step up for the holidays, and then [disappear]."

Learn more:
* Alzheimer's Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about caregiver happiness over the holidays.

Suzanne says, "There are so many things that a family caregiver goes through. Think about the world out there, think about how you are just seeing people coming and going, and yet there is that individual that not only is trying to make a happy holiday season for their family and their immediate family, they might have children at home. But if you're caring for a loved one, a senior loved one or a spouse, there's this whole new element of, not only do I feel the pressure for myself, but how do I make the holidays special for those that I love. And when you have someone that you're caring for, that is not so easy."

"We touched on some things in a previous show, how sometimes we forget to say thank you to those that we care about. But we also don't probably recognize all of the sacrifices that they make over the holiday season. I would love to have you share your thoughts on what life is like for a typical family caregiver that is taking care of someone that they love. And how does that affect the holiday season for them?

Lori answers, "How are holidays for most people? They're chaotic. There is so much stress of what it's supposed to look like, how it's supposed to be, and keeping up with the Joneses to begin with, and all of our schedules are too tight, from the very beginning, and now you've got to decorate, and buy gifts, and do all of those types of things. Then you add in a person who is caring for someone, and now they're living two lives in their 24 hours. They have to fit in two different lives. It's different than taking care of your kids that, as they grow older, you can let them go do this and go do that. Many times, you're the person who has to go do that. Often, especially with our elders, you are picking up tasks that maybe you didn't do before. Maybe they did all the driving, and now you have to do the driving. You are now responsible for all the finances, and you never paid the bills before. These are the things that people don't think about. Or maybe they did all the cooking and the laundry, and now that's added on to your plate, and you thought your life was pretty full before that. 

"So you're living your life for two people, and then you're adding on all of these specialty kind of items for the holidays. On top of that, you have the guilt of how do I pull this off and not be in chaos? But yet how do I get some sleep, so so that I can carry out all of these things? I think there's so many things that are overlooked by people, because it's just taken for granted that they're doing OK, because we put on that Stepford-wife smile, like we've got it under control, and then we walk away and roll our eyes, and want to scream, 'We're never gonna get this all done!'

"One is just appreciating how much is on somebody's plate. We're not in control of our schedules – that can change in a heartbeat. So you and I who aren't caring for someone, we can have our little checklist, and at three we're gonna do this, and then we're gonna go meet friends for happy hour, and then we're gonna go do this. A person who's caring for someone else can have major catastrophes throughout the day. That might not seem like a lot, but they are a lot when you're trying to squeeze them into one schedule."

Learn more:
* Alzheimer's Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk how to give thanks to family caregivers on this Thanksgiving weekend, who put their lives on hold to take care of a senior loved one.

Lori says, "Sometimes I think it's not even a formal thank you. And so a phone call or a card that just says I'm thinking of you, I'm praying for you. I love you. And then throw an offer out there. You want to go to a movie, you wanna go out to dinner, here's a gift card for a massage. I mean, there's so many different ways to do it. But I think those personal phone calls can really lift somebody up. You can laugh on a phone call. And that sometimes is really needed. Sometimes you can do that through a text, or an email. Just being able to remember and support them through all of life, it takes away [the feeling that] I'm not alone, that so many people have."

Suzanne says, "If you know someone that is caring for a loved one and what kind of restaurant they love, there's all kinds of services like Doordash and Grubhub. Order a meal and have it sent by surprise. One time we had an opportunity to do that for someone who was caring for their mom. I had it sent and, and I called, and I said, 'Don't make plans for dinner tonight.' It was nothing for me to do it. It saves them hours of time not having to cook a meal and it brings some joy to their life."

Lori adds, "We're in the holiday season, so helping them with decorations inside, out, or buying a wreath, or a poinsettia, all kinds of little teeny things can make a huge, huge difference. Or maybe somebody needs help shoveling snow, arranging for something like that. Or cutting the grass. Those things are huge."

Learn more:
* Alzheimer's Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about family caregiver statistics on Thanksgiving weekend. There are close to 60 million family caregivers in the United States. One in five provide unpaid care, 64% are women, 50% spend an average of 20 hours per week in caregiving, while 20% spend an average of 50 hours per week in caregiving. Family caregivers are involved in 80% of major decisions, and 75% are the primary Power of Attorney in financial, legal, and healthcare matters.

Lori says, "People don't realize the cost and where it all draws from. Some caregivers move into a loved one's house, or some have them move into their home. Some are transporting back and forth and you've got time and mileage, wear and tear on the car, but you are picking up prescriptions and a lot of times paying for those. Same with groceries. There can be legal things. There are so many things that you end up paying for. You just pick it up because it's sometimes less work than trying to get reimbursed for it."

Learn more:
* Alzheimer's Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about the impact of former First Lady Rosalynn Carter on family caregiving. Carter, who passed away on November 19, founded the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers in 1987.

Rosalynn Carter said, "There are only four kinds of people in this world, those who have been caregivers, those that are caregivers, those who will be caregivers or those who will need caregivers." This month, we have been celebrating and acknowledging, and most importantly, thanking those that are taking care of loved ones. Rosalynn Carter really raised awareness, and this segment focuses on her accomplishments.

Lori says, "I just think of this sweet compassionate soul, somebody who saw the bigger picture way before it was OK to talk about, and really saw the need to have this conversation, to make the world comfortable in terms of even recognizing that you need help, or that you're giving help, or whatever it might be. And I loved her quote, that everyone's gonna fall into this net at one time or another, and there's no escaping it, and there shouldn't be any, any shame associated with it. People shouldn't have to feel overwhelmed, or have to hide it. And we should all still be able to live authentic lives through it. That's part of being human, that's part of society, that's part of living in community. And I think Rosalynn really understood the true meaning of living in community, where you help one another, you support one another, and you do that through kindness."

Learn more:
* Alzheimer's Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com
* Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers: https://rosalynncarter.org

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kitty Norton, creator and producer of ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne to talk more about her caregivers documentary. She describes where you can watch the movie, shares feedback she's gotten from various screenings, and updates us on the status of the film.

Kitty says, "We're finishing up the last of our film festivals this weekend. But because this is National Family Caregiver Month and this is our public roll out, we've got a lot of in-person screenings coming up. There's three in New Jersey later in the month. We have a one in Dallas at the very end of the month. We have one in Seattle at the very end of the month. Everybody should go to www.winewomenanddementia.com, see if it's playing in your area.

"This is not yet on the website, but it will be soon. I'm gonna have to pull the film back in December and really figure out 2024, but I wanted to make one big #thankful4caregivers weekend. So the film will be free Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, the weekend after Thanksgiving. And you can just log on to the link when I get it made, when I get it on the website, and view the film."

Regarding comments she's gotten, Kitty says, "One of the magical things for me about the film that I didn't expect is meeting the caregivers afterwards and being a part of their experience of seeing their journeys belong to the overall narrative of dementia, because we're not talked to very much. We're not asked very much what is happening. I didn't want people to thank me on this journey. What I wanted people to say was, how's your mom, and really mean it, and really want to hear. Like, 'oh, she's in memory care right now.' 'How's that going?' 'Ah, terrible.' You know, or, 'oh, she did this or this? What did you do?' And I was like, 'well, first I laughed hysterically, and then I cleaned the poop up.' Asking these questions and, and be interested, because there's a lot of interesting things that happen in dementia."

Learn more:
* Wine, Women, and Dementia: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/
* Kitty Norton: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/the-filmmakers

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kitty Norton, creator and producer of ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne to share three tips for caring for a loved one.

Kitty says, "Number one is community. And if people are disappearing on you in this dementia journey, on you and your dementia person, then go elsewhere, find them elsewhere. Get on the forums. Alzheimer's Association has a great forum, Alz Connect, our society in England has a great forum. A lot of support groups have gone permanently online now because of the pandemic. The daughterhood, they have support virtual support groups you can sign up for, see if you like the people in them, see if you see if it clicks with, just find people. Do not do this alone... My solution to not being able to join them for wine was to have a Zoom wine night. They might be together. We all might be on our laptops in our separate houses, and we just pour a glass of wine, and we'd still have our girls night out.

"Number two is creativity. This is a journey that you cannot sit in one solution for very long. So just be creative, don't say to yourself, 'I can't do this. My person won't go to day centers. That's never gonna be an option for us.' It may be an option later. They may be more progressed and it may be fine. In the meantime, figure out what you can do to get some of that time to yourself in a different way. You just have to be creative every day. Some of the most frustrating parts for me as a caregiver were real: We just solved that problem a month ago — a month ago we figured out a new way to get the meds in, and now that's not working. And I just wanna bash my head against a wall. Don't go there. Just open your mind up and think about how else to get it done. Everything, everything is an option in dementia.

"Number three is you're the expert. I think all of us start this journey thinking the people that we expect to have the answers, the medical community, are going to somehow be helpful. And while I think they're trying to catch up, they are not the expert. Do not put up with doctors who will not work with you, do not put up with doctors who are dismissive of you or your dementia person. Move on, go to someone else. When you have an issue, tell the doctors your solution is not going to work. Do you have another solution, or do I need to talk to someone else? And it takes a while to get there. We're pretty used to them being the authority. But eventually you're going to understand that you're the one who knows the most about your dementia person."

Learn more:
* Wine, Women, and Dementia: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/
* Kitty Norton: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/the-filmmakers

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kitty Norton, creator and producer of ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne to talk more about the origins of her caregivers documentary.

Kitty says, "I started a blog in 2018 and mom died in 2021. And during that time, we had kind of built this community around people who also were using humor to try and get through that, and acknowledging all the feels, not allowing the stigma and the guilt to be a part of the journey too much. You can't block it all together... Five people in particular in this journey became very, very important to me as virtual support. Everybody who followed the blog commented, all of that stuff, was important, but these five people, I had really connected with them.

"After mom died, I decided I wanted to go meet them and I just wanted to tell them in person how much they meant to me, and open a bottle of wine and just talk, because we had been so good at just emails and Zooms. So then I thought, well, if I'm gonna do that, maybe those conversations might be really helpful for other caregivers. Why not hire a film crew and see what we can do here. And we did a month-long trip around the country. But the very first person we did was Allison Schrier up in Seattle, because I'm based in Portland. I wanted to make sure, before we roamed around the country, that I had a film, and I came back, looked at the footage of Alison's formal interview without me. And then the wine chats that we did at night once I showed up, and I was like, for sure, this is a film. This is a film I wish I could have seen in 2016. I want to make this. So that's how the whole trip got started. I bought a beat up old RV, and I plastered mom's face all over it, and I grabbed my friend Bethy from L.A., and she's a screenwriter, so she doesn't have normal jobs like everybody else. And I was like, hey, you wanna go on a three-week trip with me around the country?"

Kitty shared what surprised her most about meeting most of them. "I was so nervous: What if we don't like each other in person? I've got an RV, I'm going to be parked in your driveway. I'm gonna be taking your electricity. What if we meet and at the end of the night you're like, "Ugh!" But that didn't happen, we all loved each other, and we just started talking... The crew would sometimes scold us like, "Don't, stop! You're talking about stuff we should have on camera, and we're not set up yet!" We just couldn't wait to start sharing in person the experiences that we had touched on virtually, it's so fantastic."

Learn more:
* Wine, Women, and Dementia: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/
* Kitty Norton: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/the-filmmakers

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kitty Norton, creator and producer of the caregivers documentary feature ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne.

Kitty shared, "I am the eldest daughter of Gloria and Gary Norton. I have a younger sister. My family always had a very wry, self-deprecating sense of humor. It's always been my saving grace in really difficult situations. When my mother was first diagnosed with vascular dementia, that was back in 2010. And my dad had decided that he would be her primary caregiver and he was very adamant about that. And my father was also kind of very insular. So even though mom had a big family, he was concerned about sisters butting in, and sisters were starting to feel like they weren't allowed access to my mom. And it was an adjustment for everybody. 

"I was working as an assistant editor in network TV. And in 2016, my father died rather suddenly from pancreatic cancer, and it was diagnosis to death with three weeks. And my sister who lives on the Oregon Coast, both of us knew that mom couldn't live on her own. I had just been hired for the first season of "This is Us," the NBC show, but I had to call and tell them I have to move back home. I have to move back to Oregon and live with my mom. So we did. And it was incredibly tough, like you've said before. It's, you know, this is the hardest thing you'll ever do.

"But I was also struck with the amount of life there is to live in dementia. And it's a really, really different life than what you're used to. But there's still life, and my mom still needed to live her life. She wasn't dying anytime soon, and we still needed to leave live ours. So that's a lot of where our humor ended up saving my sister and I. We could get together afterwards after a really tough day. I'd just feel like I did this wrong, I did this wrong, I did this wrong, and then we could laugh about it. She could tease me about it."

Kitty adds, "You had to use dementia against itself. We gave her one of those cards that you open and sings once for Mother's Day, and I noticed that at meal time, we'd have it sitting up, and she'd look at it, and she'd open it, and it'd start singing. She'd just giggle, giggle, giggle and then se put it down. Five minutes later I'd pick it up, I'd put it in front of her. I'd give her a couple of minutes. She'd pick it up. She'd open it up it, sing. She'd giggle, giggle, giggle. It was like all new all the time."

Learn more:
* Wine, Women, and Dementia: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/
* Kitty Norton: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/the-filmmakers

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As part of National Caregiver Month, Star Bradbury joins Suzanne to continue the discussion about her 2023 book, "Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years."

Millions of Americans are in an active caregiver role or will be in one in the future, yet few have a solid plan for the inevitable challenges of aging.

Whether your parents are in their 60s or their 90s, and whether they have years of health ahead of them or already need more support, Successfully Navigating Your Parents’ Senior Years provides the framework and information you need to prepare for and handle with confidence the changes to come.

The responsibility of caring for an aging loved one is often daunting—and when trouble hits, the sudden barrage of questions you face can be overwhelming. Have your parents executed their Advance Directives? Do you know what to look for in a senior community (and how to ensure a spot is available when you need it)? If your parents want to stay in their home, what can you do to ensure their safety?

Certified aging life care specialist and CEO of Senior Living Strategies Star Bradbury draws on her 25 years of experience in senior living to bring you an up-to-date, comprehensive guide to navigating the tricky waters ahead—starting with putting a plan in place now that maximizes your parents’ independence while providing them with the support they need.

Learn more: 
* Star Bradbury: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BRT9M6VQ/about
* Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Successfully-Navigating-Parents-Senior-Years/dp/1637742479
* Google Books preview of the book: https://www.google.com/books/edition/Successfully_Navigating_Your_Parents_Sen/--VxEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As part of National Caregiver Month, Star Bradbury joins Suzanne to continue the discussion about her 2023 book, "Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years."

Millions of Americans are in an active caregiver role or will be in one in the future, yet few have a solid plan for the inevitable challenges of aging.

Whether your parents are in their 60s or their 90s, and whether they have years of health ahead of them or already need more support, Successfully Navigating Your Parents’ Senior Years provides the framework and information you need to prepare for and handle with confidence the changes to come.

The responsibility of caring for an aging loved one is often daunting—and when trouble hits, the sudden barrage of questions you face can be overwhelming. Have your parents executed their Advance Directives? Do you know what to look for in a senior community (and how to ensure a spot is available when you need it)? If your parents want to stay in their home, what can you do to ensure their safety?

Certified aging life care specialist and CEO of Senior Living Strategies Star Bradbury draws on her 25 years of experience in senior living to bring you an up-to-date, comprehensive guide to navigating the tricky waters ahead—starting with putting a plan in place now that maximizes your parents’ independence while providing them with the support they need.

Learn more: 
* Star Bradbury: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BRT9M6VQ/about
* Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Successfully-Navigating-Parents-Senior-Years/dp/1637742479
* Google Books preview of the book: https://www.google.com/books/edition/Successfully_Navigating_Your_Parents_Sen/--VxEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As part of National Caregiver Month, Star Bradbury joins Suzanne to talk about her 2023 book, "Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years."

Millions of Americans are in an active caregiver role or will be in one in the future, yet few have a solid plan for the inevitable challenges of aging.

Whether your parents are in their 60s or their 90s, and whether they have years of health ahead of them or already need more support, Successfully Navigating Your Parents’ Senior Years provides the framework and information you need to prepare for and handle with confidence the changes to come.

The responsibility of caring for an aging loved one is often daunting—and when trouble hits, the sudden barrage of questions you face can be overwhelming. Have your parents executed their Advance Directives? Do you know what to look for in a senior community (and how to ensure a spot is available when you need it)? If your parents want to stay in their home, what can you do to ensure their safety?

Certified aging life care specialist and CEO of Senior Living Strategies Star Bradbury draws on her 25 years of experience in senior living to bring you an up-to-date, comprehensive guide to navigating the tricky waters ahead—starting with putting a plan in place now that maximizes your parents’ independence while providing them with the support they need.

Learn more: 
* Star Bradbury: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BRT9M6VQ/about
* Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Successfully-Navigating-Parents-Senior-Years/dp/1637742479
* Google Books preview of the book: https://www.google.com/books/edition/Successfully_Navigating_Your_Parents_Sen/--VxEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As part of National Caregiver Month, Star Bradbury joins Suzanne to continue the discussion about her 2023 book, "Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years."

Millions of Americans are in an active caregiver role or will be in one in the future, yet few have a solid plan for the inevitable challenges of aging.

Whether your parents are in their 60s or their 90s, and whether they have years of health ahead of them or already need more support, Successfully Navigating Your Parents’ Senior Years provides the framework and information you need to prepare for and handle with confidence the changes to come.

The responsibility of caring for an aging loved one is often daunting—and when trouble hits, the sudden barrage of questions you face can be overwhelming. Have your parents executed their Advance Directives? Do you know what to look for in a senior community (and how to ensure a spot is available when you need it)? If your parents want to stay in their home, what can you do to ensure their safety?

Certified aging life care specialist and CEO of Senior Living Strategies Star Bradbury draws on her 25 years of experience in senior living to bring you an up-to-date, comprehensive guide to navigating the tricky waters ahead—starting with putting a plan in place now that maximizes your parents’ independence while providing them with the support they need.

Learn more: 
* Star Bradbury: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BRT9M6VQ/about
* Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Successfully-Navigating-Parents-Senior-Years/dp/1637742479
* Google Books preview of the book: https://www.google.com/books/edition/Successfully_Navigating_Your_Parents_Sen/--VxEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lori La Bey, Alzheimer's Speaks host, joins Suzanne to talk about the Noble Swan, an Answers for Elders initiative to help support family caregivers.

Suzanne explains the metaphor of the noble swan for caregivers. "The most noble thing you can do is care for someone else. I thought about it a long time, and I thought we need some sort of an icon, that every time you see that icon, it would honor that person, that you get it, the life that they live, that you share that with that other person

"A swan glides across the glassy lake, right? You don't see anything else but this graceful beauty of this individual. But what's going on underneath the surface is, these feet are feverishly paddling to get that swan to go to where it's going. I thought that was just this amazing metaphor of a family caregiver. It's that person that is always greeting their loved one with a smile. They always have everything together, even though their life is crazy in the background. They hold all the pieces together, and they do everything they can, with so much nobility and so much grace. And that's why we picked the noble swan.

"We have poems that accompany the Noble Swan and and a very exciting thing starting in November on for National Caregivers Month. We will have a very special bouquet to send to your loved one and in partnership with FTD. So we will learn more about that as we move forward um in November."

Lori adds, "I just think it's going to give people so much comfort. It's going to give the family and friends who want to support a way to support, because they don't always know how. And so it's a step in the door, because sometimes you have family and friends that aren't in the area, they can't physically help. But boy, having a beautiful bouquet of flowers that is specifically for a caregiver, with a beautiful poem attached to it, it's just going to be one of those things you walk by, and it's going to fill your heart every single time, and it's going to be something that people aren't going to forget."

What else can people do to support family caregivers? Lori says, "You know, taking somebody out. It could be a manicure, it could be to a ball game, it could be to a movie. It might just be going out for a walk – cutting grass, it's endless. Just think of all the things that you do personally you could use help with."

Learn more:
Alzheimer's Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about what caregivers need most. Lori says they need to be understood, appreciated, supported, not feel alone, and have choice and a voice in how we move forward.

Suzanne described a welcome experience. "I had friends that would ask, how can we help, Suzanne? And I was so overwhelmed, I'd say, 'oh, I'm fine,' or I would do this and I didn't even think about it. After probably like three years into caring for my mom, I had two girlfriends show up at my doorstep, and they said, 'We're the Joy Committee. We've hired a caregiver for you to be there for your mom for the day, and we're gonna take you out, and we're gonna bring joy to your life, and you can feel free to call anytime, do whatever you want if you wanna vent. That was one of the greatest gifts I'd ever been given. And I didn't even think about it at the time. I was too overwhelmed."

Lori says, "I had girlfriends like that too. They didn't come and take me out, but I ended up joining them for coffee every week. I kept pushing away, because I didn't have time. But when I finally did go have coffee — and my intent was to have coffee and then not ask me again, because I just didn't have time for it — I found out how empty my soul was, because I was so busy being busy, and caring for everyone else but myself. I got refilled, and it felt so good. It felt joyful, it felt peaceful. I felt energized, all of those things that I think we overlook so often because we're too busy being busy."

Lori adds, "Sending cards, even, could be a small little thing like that, for a lot of people. I would send a card every week. It would just drop it in the mail. I do like a dozen of them at a time. And they said, boy, it was just nice to get something in the mail. Or calling somebody just to check in to say, 'how are you doing? And I really want to hear how you're doing.' Just somebody to listen, and to understand, and to know that it's ok, no matter what happens."

Learn more:
Alzheimer's Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lori La Bey, Alzheimer's Speaks host, joins Suzanne. In this segment, Lori asks Suzanne about her experiences as a caregiver and founder of Answers for Elders.

Suzanne says, "I was a family caregiver, taking care of my mother for the last six years of her life. I don't consider myself a stupid human being, but I had no clue what I was dealing with. There was terminology being used. I didn't even know there were caregiving agencies out there that could care for my loved one. There's no school out there that teaches you what you're supposed to know. 

"One of the things that was so stressful for me was, I would wake up in the middle of the night after making a huge decision for my mom that was maybe monumental in certain ways. And I would be laying there wondering if I did the right thing. And that was almost more stressful to me then knowing what my resource were, because I was making decisions believing that I didn't have all the facts. I had what people were telling me, but they didn't know my mother, they didn't know her values. And I needed to feel like I was empowered, and I didn't have that feeling ever. 

"I lost my job due due to caregiving. I was in my early fifties, and I realized really quick, if you're in senior management, you're not gonna get looked at because they'd rather hire the 35 year old that would work for half the salary that I was, at the top of my career, and it was also a recession, 2009. And I made the choice. There was a spiritual teacher that I read a lot of, Emma Curtis Hopkins. I'm paraphrasing, but one of the things Emma says that resonated with me was, if you see a job, it's yours. And I thought, you know what, it is mine. 

"I realized that caregiving is interconnected. There's all different pieces. There's financial, there's legal, there's housing situations, there's care solutions, there's health care that you're juggling, and somehow you have to coexist in a family where sometimes you're feeling resentful, and feeling taken advantage of, and feeling overwhelmed. And you have to take care of your own self. And I realized more and more what was needed out there was a resource, Answers for Elders, where we can help empower people, and that's how we started."

Learn more:
Alzheimer's Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about family caregivers and how we can help support them. There are about 70 million adult family caregivers in the USA, and they spend an average of 20 hours caring for someone else each week. Many of them spend more than 40 hours a week. They allow the rest of the family to go on with their everyday lives. They make sacrifices, they hit roadblocks, they are overwhelmed, they're stressed out, and they're trying to juggle caregiving, their career, and their family.

Lori says, "I just came from two support groups that I do today, and they all said the most challenging thing to a dementia caregiver is patience. 'I need more patience. I'm exhausted, I'm tired. I don't know how to deal with something.' And that level of guilt when somebody snaps or doesn't do something as well as they know they could have. And they're very disappointed in themselves, because they really do want to care well, but we don't teach people how to care and we need to share our stories. To take that aloneness out of the equation is huge.

"The one thing I hear when I go speak is: How do I fix my siblings? How do I get them to care? How do we work as a group? People really, really struggle with that, and when you hear of a family who has it all figured out, I really let them know they are the unicorn in the room. It's not the norm."

Learn more:
Alzheimer's Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.