godly wisdom

If you want to avoid communication breakdowns in your marriage, today’s episode is for you!

Today, Dr. Kim is going to share 3 very common mistakes he sees as he counsels couples, so that you can avoid them! Whether you need a total overhaul or just a few friendly reminders, today’s episode has practical, actionable advice that will help you improve the communication in your marriage. 

Are you making the same mistakes most couples make with communication? Dr. Kim has pretty much seen it all, and today he is going to help you avoid those mistakes, and build better communication instead. 

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. 

Episode highlights include:  

•  3 of the most common mistakes Dr. Kim sees over and over with couples he counsels: Blame, discounting, and distraction. 

• The impact each of these mistakes has on a spouse and marriage

• The practical steps to avoid each of these communication pitfalls 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

QUOTES

• When you resolve conflict, both of you have to take responsibility for your part in it. I’ve never seen an issue where 1 person was 100% responsible. - Dr. Kim 

• I think it’s easy for us to rationalize, fool ourselves, and take the time to think it through.  - Dr. Kim 

• I’ve done it, I’ve seen it in other wives: It’s easy for us in parenting to discount our husband’s opinion. - Lindsay 

• Listen in a way that you can let them know you heard what they said. - Dr. Kim 

• As a parent with kids in the home, it’s great to have the reminder that they are benefitting from us putting boundaries that let us have an adult relationship with our spouse. As important as they are to us, we should value showing them that solid foundation and modeling marriage for them.  - Lindsay 

• I identify with all three of these, I’ve done them all. I’ts not something you just get right then coast, you have to stay on top of it. - Dr. Kim  

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• Do you use “I” statements to communicate what you need with your spouse? 

• For example: Instead of, “You always ignore me when I’m talking,” say, “I feel hurt when you scroll on your phone when I’m talking. I want to know that you care about what I have to say.” 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 

• Need more communication help? Sign up here to save your spot for Dr. Kim’s FREE webinar,  “7 Common Communication Mistakes Couples Make”

• Questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame? Submit them anonymously HERE or DM us on Instagram. Dr. Kim will answer them in an upcoming episode 

• Want to reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding of your spouse, OR just strengthen your bond as a couple? Our 30-Day Communication Challenge is for you! 

• With Dr. Kim’s One Thing email, you’ll get one practical tip each weekday to build your marriage.

• The Marriage Multiplier is a quick weekly email that gives you practical ways to be intentional to grow your marriage. Sign up HERE! 

EP 130 | How Do I Grow in Wisdom? Follow Your Heart? | Redeeming Truth

Do you wish you could go back and undo foolish decisions? What was missing? Godly wisdom!

Learn the difference between destructive worldly wisdom and life-giving biblical wisdom. Pastors Jon Benzinger, Dale Thackrah, and Todd Burgett unpack Proverbs on the fear of the Lord, dying to self, and pursuing godly contentment over fleeting happiness. Be equipped to stand against cultural lies, test wisdom’s fruits, and walk the narrow path of righteousness, discernment, and peace.

This practical discussion will challenge you to constantly grow in wisdom and make choices leading to better outcomes. Gain a timeless perspective for all of life’s big decisions.

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Holiday season is upon us, and with it all things festive! I’m guessing your schedule didn’t have much extra space to begin with, so now there’s a risk of becoming truly overbooked. How can your marriage be a priority, even with so much going on? 

Today Dr. Kim is sharing several of his best tips for prioritizing your marriage, even in this busy season. 

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. 

Episode highlights include: 

• Ways to share the load of holiday tasks & preparation better 

• How prioritizing your marriage this season can decrease your stress 

• Dr. Kim’s 5 ways to prioritize your marriage this season 

• How to implement this if you aren’t on the same page right now

• Tips to de-stress your holiday gatherings and enjoy them more 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

QUOTES: 

• “It doesn’t have to be a whole evening, it doesn’t even have to be a whole hour. It can be just 15 minutes, but you protect that time.”  - Dr. Kim Kimberling  

• “I think quality time is one of the most important things we do in a marriage, and it also seems to be one of the easiest to bump.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling 

• “Make sure you're on the same page together, then enjoy it together.”  - Dr. Kim Kimberling 

• “There’s so much unnecessary tension you can eliminate if you can start to use team language and work together.” - Lindsay Few  

QUESTIONS

 What is one favorite Christmas tradition you and your spouse have, just for the two of you? 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 

• GIVEAWAY TIME! We are giving away a bundle of our Top 3 Resources of 2023: Our 44 Tips to Better Sex in Marriage, 21 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and 21 Day Wife Appreciation Challenge! To enter just leave an honest review of the podcast wherever you listen, screenshot it, send in to info@awesomemarriage.com. Giveaway ends 12/15 10am EST. 

• Dr. Kim’s newest book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half is now available as an eBook! Grab your copy here! 

• Related episode: “What is team Language? Ep. 501”

How can disappointment or unmet expectations in marriage lead us to God’s healing? Our marriage will only be as healthy as the two people in it, and God wants to restore and heal our hearts. We’re delighted to have John and Stasi Eldredge on the podcast today. The Eldredges share so much wisdom and their personal experiences with God’s healing power in their lives and their marriage. 

Episode highlights include: 

• How to navigate expectations for your marriage and the hurt they can bring 

• How to take pressure off your spouse and your marriage

• he two great conversions in the Christian life

• What they would have missed if they had called it quits  

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage. 

RESOURCES

• Dr. Kim highly recommends Pause App, by the Eldredges

• Check out their site, www.wildatheart.org - it is full of SO many great resources for you! 

• The L.O.V.E. Your Way Through Marriage Course, by Chris and Jamie Bailey, is a journey of connecting and learning all the necessary steps to start having healthy conflict. 

Research shows that 69% of marital conflict is never resolved. We either sweep it under the rug, avoid the pain points, or get stuck in a cycle of conflict that may cause pain but not find resolution. Today Dr. Kim talks with special guest Anne Nelson, about the 4-stage process to break the fight cycle and heal your marriage from conflict. Anne is a Christian counselor who helps couples and individuals to find the fully thriving life God has for them. 

Episode highlights include: 

• Why we get stuck in the conflict cycle and how to get out

• Some reasons that counseling might not “work” and what to do if that happens to you

• How to start recognizing and healing unaddressed issues affecting your marriage 

• Specific questions can we use to challenge our assumptions in marriage 

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage. 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

Resources: 

• Connect with Anne and see her marriage resources on FullyThriving.com and on Instagram @Fully Thriving.
• Loving our monthly resources? Marriage Changers get instant access to every months’ new resource – and so much more! Learn more here. 
• Get bite-sized daily doses of marriage wisdom delivered straight to your inbox with Dr. Kim’s Daily One Thing email. As a subscriber, you’ll also be eligible for some awesome freebies!  
• Dr. Kim’s weekly Marriage Multiplier email brings you 4 pieces of practical marriage wisdom in one quick, easy-to-read free weekly email. 
• Follow Awesome Marriage on Instagram, Facebook and find Dr. Kim on TikTok!

{Editor's Note: Audio was repaired 11/2023.} So much of life is not what happens to us, but how we respond to it. Life is hard and it never seems to go exactly according to our plans. My grandad said that we all have the choice to either get bitter, or get better. And he lived out what it looks like to get better, even in the face of all of life’s troubles.

Today Dr. Kim shares what ongoing bitterness looks like over time, and how we can avoid becoming grouchy, grumpy, and mean! 

Episode highlights include: 

• How to know if you’re becoming more bitter 

• Practical steps to help you “get better” instead

• Tips for dealing with the difficult people in your life 

• This week’s anonymous listener question leads to a memorable story from one of Dr. Kim and Nancy’s recent dates 

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage. 

P.S. I misquoted his age in the episode - my grandad lived to 94½ before he went to heaven last year! 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our “5 Days 5 Ways” Love Languages resource for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

Resources: 

• Trusting God Through Grief with Special Guest Stacy Henagan | Ep. 462
• A Faithful Life and Legacy - with Special Guest Ernstena Parker Wood | Ep. 496
• Setting our mind on what is good, right and true is good for us and great for our marriage! Our 19 Prayers and Affirmations for Your Marriage  resource will help you do just that! 
• Get a quick daily dose of marriage wisdom delivered straight to your inbox with Dr. Kim’s Daily One Thing email! As a subscriber, you’ll also be eligible for some awesome freebies!  
• Follow Awesome Marriage on Instagram, Facebook and find Dr. Kim on TikTok!
• Ready to level up your marriage? With the Marriage Changers membership yet you get all of our monthly resources, plus some other sweet benefits, like Tshirts and exclusive videos with Dr. Kim and Nancy! Learn more here!
• Dr. Kim’s free weekly Marriage Multiplier email brings you 4 pieces of practical marriage wisdom in one quick, easy-to-read free weekly email. 

Today we will continue talking about Godly wisdom. James explains more of it by saying what it doesn't contain. It is an important message for us right now because the same things talked about are the same things being used in the church and outside the church in our communities right now. We are going to seek godly wisdom today! 

The music on the podcast is rom John Nugent. John is a Chicagoland area musician who has been a real blessing to Tabor Church.