high conflict

After over two decades as a journalist, including ten years covering terrorism and disasters for TIME Magazine, Amanda Ripley thought she understood conflict. But when momentum started to build around the candidacy of Donald Trump, she questioned what she thought she knew. Ripley interviewed psychologists, mediators, and people who had made it out of seemingly intractable conflicts for her book, High Conflict: Why We Get Stuck and How We Get Out.  In this conversation with host Jamil Simon, she shares insights about how people in conflict can move forward, and how journalists can get at the "understory" of what's beneath any conflict. 

Order Amanda Ripley’s book, High Conflict: Why We Get Stuck and How We Get Out. Watch Amanada’s talk on High Conflict for The Alliance for Peacebuilding. Follow her column in the Washington Post. 

Find our episode on the Colombian peace process here. You can watch the documentary “A Call for Peace” for free here: vimeo.com/305983614. Enter password peace2019. Learn more at acallforpeace.org.

Music in this episode from Blue Dot Sessions and Pianobook. 

ABOUT THE SHOW

Making Peace Visible is a project of War Stories Peace Stories. Making Peace Visible is hosted by Jamil Simon and produced by Andrea Muraskin, with help from Faith McClure. Learn more at warstoriespeacestories.org. 

We want to learn more about our listeners. Take this 3-minute survey to help us improve the show! 

Support this podcast and the War Stories Peace Stories project

Navigating Factitious Disorder and Child Custody Disputes
In this informative episode, Bill and Megan explore the complicated intersection of factitious disorder, child custody disputes, and high conflict personalities.

Bill and Megan start by explaining what factitious disorder is, how it manifests, and its implications in child custody cases. They share insights from their experience in family law and high conflict disputes.

Key topics covered include:

• The shift in terminology from Munchausen syndrome to factitious disorder and what this change signifies
• Prevalence data showing these disorders are rare but have severe impacts when present
• How factitious disorders often involve misperceptions and disagreements about a child's health/medical needs
• The role of personality disorders and their distorted perceptions in driving conflict
• Strategies for navigating these disputes like seeking multiple professional opinions and getting courts involve
• How to appropriately communicate concerns to healthcare providers without biasing their perspective
• The risks of improperly questioning or influencing children directly

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What is factitious disorder and how is it relevant in child custody cases?
• What tips can help address concerns about a child's health in a constructive manner?
• How do personality disorders relate to conflict around children's health?
• When is it appropriate to involve the legal system in disputes about a child's care?
• What are the risks of discussing health concerns directly with your child?

Key Takeaways:

• Factitious disorders are rare but can severely impact child custody cases when present
• Seeking multiple professional opinions can help determine if concerns are valid
• Personality disorders often involve distorted perceptions driving conflict
• Legal interventions may be needed to protect children from excessive medical testing
• Never interrogate or influence children directly about suspected disorders

This practical episode offers guidance for any parents or family members concerned about potential factitious disorders and child health conflicts. Bill and Megan share their expertise to help listeners thoughtfully and safely address these challenging situations.

Links & Other Notes

• BOOKS
  • Don’t Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce
• COURSES/VIDEOS
  • Erasing Family Documentary with Resistance/Refusal Commentary from Bill Eddy
  • Resistance, Refusal and the Child’s Brain
• PROFESSIONAL TRAINING
  • New Ways for Families
    • For Counselors- training specifically for counselors to learn the New Ways for Families method to use in high-conflict cases, including those with resistance/refusal
    • For Coaches: training specifically for divorce and co-parenting coaches to learn the New Ways for Families method to use in high-conflict cases or in any case
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
• Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
• All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (00:35) - Factitious Order by Proxy
• (01:18) - What Is It?
• (05:52) - How to Intervene?
• (10:33) - Patterns
• (11:52) - Histrionic
• (16:55) - Speaking with Medical Professionals
• (20:58) - Discuss with the Child?
• (23:56) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Marriage and Women's Thoughts About It

Want to learn more about BIFF and EAR responses? We have a lab that's designed for anyone. Click here to learn more about our Live Lab. Sign up today!

Diane & Rick discuss the mental health issues that are connected to someone with an extremely self-focused personality disorder, also known as a Narcissist. They differentiate the clinical information from what is promoted on social media and help listeners to determine how to respond to a narcissistic co-parent with good boundaries and not as a victim.

We are excited to announce a new benefit for listeners who become Patreon VIPs (for only $10/month)! Diane will be hosting support groups online every Wednesday at noon (EST) for an hour, beginning March 6th. You can come to one or come to all.
Each week of the month will focus on a different subject:

1st Wednesday of each month: Staying Grounded in the Midst of Parental Alienation
2nd Wednesday of each month: Dealing with the Trauma of False Accusations
3rd Wednesdays: Surviving the Narcissistic Co-Parent
4th Wednesdays: Confronting Post-Separation Control and Abuse

We'll do this through May, but if attendance remains constant, we'll continue through he summer. Just CLICK HERE to become a Non-Impossible VIP, and the Zoom link will be sent to you each week. Hope to see you on Wednesdays this Spring!

If you have a problematic paragraph in your parenting plan that you would like the hosts to review,  email it to 1234Dilemma@gmail.com.

To get a copy of the communication protocol order, CLICK HERE.

The digital version of our Communication Protocol Workshop is available for purchase. Click here to buy the video.

You’ll find instructions about the DRAGON method in the I Am Non-Impossible journal, AVAILABLE on Amazon for only $9.95 (Kindle version is $2.99). This is also a great gift for those in your life who are seeking co-parenting peace. ORDER YOURS NOW!

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

Find us on X (Twitter) and Instagram @CPDilemmas

If you are a professional working with high-conflict co-parents, join our LinkedIn group.

Interested in Individual Co-Parent Communication Coaching? Click Here!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com

Become a Non-Impossible VIP Listener for some really cool perks!

To get a special discount on therapy through BetterHelp, visit www.BetterHelp.com/Dilemma

Dealing with alcohol addiction in your co-parent relationship? Explore peace of mind with SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

RATE THE SHOW!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming ...

Bill and Megan explore the complex issue of relationship violence, focusing on factors that may predict aggressive behaviors and how to identify potentially abusive relationships. In this first part of a two-part discussion, they examine relationship violence through the lens of adult intimate partner relationships. The second part will focus specifically on teen dating violence. Bill and Megan provide research-informed insights to help us understand the roots of relationship violence and identify unhealthy patterns early on.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What personality disorders or traits are associated with an increased risk for domestic violence?
• How can you spot early warning signs of a potentially abusive partner?
• What is coercive control and how does it relate to domestic violence?
• What happens in the brain when someone lacks impulse control?
• How can we avoid “jamming our own radar” in relationships?

Key Takeaways:

• Not everyone with a personality disorder will become abusive, but certain disorders like antisocial and borderline PD are risk factors.
• Pay attention to charm, immediate strong attachment, and “love bombing” as possible red flags when dating.
• Coercive control refers to non-physical ways an abuser maintains power, like isolation, verbal threats, financial control.
• Impulse control problems may stem from an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex or traumatic childhood experiences.
• Going through personal crises or having unrealistic relationship expectations can blind us to warning signs.

In part one of this vital two-part discussion, Bill and Megan provide research-informed insights to help us understand the roots of relationship violence and identify unhealthy patterns early on. Tune in to gain knowledge that could help you or someone you care about build healthy, safe relationships.

Links & Other Notes

• BOOKS
  • Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to “The One” Who Will Make Your Life Hell
    • available in paperback, audio, and e-book anywhere books are sold. Here are a few places you can get it.
    • Get it on High Conflict Institute site
    • On Amazon US
    • On Amazon Australia
    • On Amazon Canada
• DATING RADAR SURVEY RESULTS
  • Read results from entire survey here (scroll and click on “Read Dating Radar Survey Results”)
• HOTLINE
  • US Domestic Violence Hotline
  • US Hotline #: 800-799-7233
• ARTICLES
  • Dating Radar: Your X-Ray Vision In A New Relationship
  • Personality Disorders and Intimate Partner Violence
  • HIB PubMed article database
  • Domestic Violence vs. High Conflict Families: Are one or two people driving the conflict?
• COURSES
  • Conversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 Experts
  • Mediation in Domestic Violence Cases
• LIVE LAB
  • Live Lab: 1:1 coaching sessions to learn to use BIFF Responses, EAR Statements, and to set limits
• 
  
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
• Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
• All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (00:35) - Relationship Violence Part 1: Adults
• (02:50) - Survey Results
• (08:19) - What Jams Our Radar?
• (14:00) - Impulse Control
• (19:48) - Factors in Violent Tendencies
• (28:55) - Domestic Violence in Family Law
• (33:49) - How Do You Know You’re in a Domestic Violence Relationship?
• (35:45) - Coercive Controlling Violence
• (39:49) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Relationship Violence Part 2: Teens

Want to learn more about BIFF and EAR responses? We have a lab that's designed for anyone. Click here to learn more about our Live Lab. Sign up today!

Diane & Rick explore the phenomenon of children engaging in  “gaslighting” as a strategy to either survive their parents’ conflict or to manipulate a parent to get what they want. Is it a learned behavior from an alienating parent, or is it part of something deeper? The hosts break it down.

If you have a problematic paragraph in your parenting plan that you would like the hosts to review,  email it to 1234Dilemma@gmail.com.

To get a copy of the communication protocol order, CLICK HERE.

The digital version of our Communication Protocol Workshop is available for purchase. Click here to buy the video.

Those who are Patreon VIPs get resources like these for free upon release, so consider supporting the show so you can get these perks, but more importantly, so we can continue offering the best advice in the business, to the world, for FREE!

You’ll find instructions about the DRAGON method in the I Am Non-Impossible journal, AVAILABLE on Amazon for a limited-time price of only $9.95 (Kindle version is $2.99). This is also a great gift for those in your life who are seeking co-parenting peace. ORDER YOURS NOW!

 CLICK HERE to offer help to the Right to Peace Foundation. We’re on a mission to expose family court injustices!

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

Find us on X (Twitter) and Instagram @CPDilemmas

If you are a professional working with high-conflict co-parents, join our LinkedIn group.

Interested in Individual Co-Parent Communication Coaching? Click Here!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com

Become a Non-Impossible VIP Listener for some really cool perks!

To get a special discount on therapy through BetterHelp, visit www.BetterHelp.com/Dilemma

Dealing with alcohol addiction in your co-parent relationship? Explore peace of mind with SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

RATE THE SHOW!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming ...

Listener Heather shares a paragraph from her parenting plan entitled “Special Considerations”. Diane& Rick explore how you can go too far in trying to explain an abstract phrase and find yourself right back into the conflict that prompted the language to begin with! Ultimately, they settle on the simple concept of doing what is right without expecting reciprocation, which always benefits the child. 

This episode is sponsored by SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

If you have a problematic paragraph in your parenting plan that you would like the hosts to review,  email it to 1234Dilemma@gmail.com.

The digital version of our Communication Protocol Workshop is available for purchase. Click here to buy the video.

You’ll find instructions about the DRAGON method in the I Am Non-Impossible journal, AVAILABLE on Amazon for a limited-time price of only $9.95 (Kindle version is $2.99). This is also a great gift for those in your life who are seeking co-parenting peace. ORDER YOURS NOW!

To get a copy of the communication protocol order, CLICK HERE.

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

CLICK HERE to offer help to the Right to Peace Foundation. We’re on a mission!

Those who were Patreon VIPs get resources like these for free upon release, so consider supporting the show so you can get these perks, but more importantly, so we can continue offering the best advice in the business, to the world, for FREE!

Have a co-parent dilemm

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

Find us on X (Twitter) and Instagram @CPDilemmas

If you are a professional working with high-conflict co-parents, join our LinkedIn group.

Interested in Individual Co-Parent Communication Coaching? Click Here!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com

Become a Non-Impossible VIP Listener for some really cool perks!

To get a special discount on therapy through BetterHelp, visit www.BetterHelp.com/Dilemma

Dealing with alcohol addiction in your co-parent relationship? Explore peace of mind with SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

RATE THE SHOW!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming ...

Diane & Rick address listener Shary’s dilemma about parenting time with an infant. How much does the co-parent relationship determine the best schedule? The hosts break it down, as well as discuss the similarities between toddlers and teens when it comes to co-parenting issues.

This episode is sponsored by SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

If you have a problematic paragraph in your parenting plan that you would like the hosts to review,  email it to 1234Dilemma@gmail.com.

BE FIRST in line for individual co-parent coaching, being launched by CNFC this year. Just fill out the info form to get on the pre-registration list! To learn more about the Center for Navigating Family Change, go to: CNFC.org. FINALLY, the digital version of our Communication Protocol Workshop is available for purchase. Click here to buy the video.

You’ll find instructions about this method in the I Am Non-Impossible journal, AVAILABLE on Amazon for a limited-time price of only $9.95 (Kindle version is $2.99). This is also a great gift for those in your life who are seeking co-parenting peace. ORDER YOURS NOW!

To get a copy of the communication protocol order, CLICK HERE.

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

CLICK HERE to offer help to the Right to Peace Foundation. We’re on a mission!

Those who were Patreon VIPs get resources like these for free upon release, so

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

Find us on X (Twitter) and Instagram @CPDilemmas

If you are a professional working with high-conflict co-parents, join our LinkedIn group.

Interested in Individual Co-Parent Communication Coaching? Click Here!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com

Become a Non-Impossible VIP Listener for some really cool perks!

To get a special discount on therapy through BetterHelp, visit www.BetterHelp.com/Dilemma

Dealing with alcohol addiction in your co-parent relationship? Explore peace of mind with SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

RATE THE SHOW!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming ...

Listener Michael shares his problematic parenting plan language about birthday parties with Diane & Rick. They discuss not only the problem with the wording, but what really matters to the child — the one being honored by the celebrations. The hosts warn against creating language to manage co-parent conflict at the expense of the child.

This episode is sponsored by SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

If you have a problematic paragraph in your parenting plan that you would like the hosts to review,  email it to 1234Dilemma@gmail.com.

BE FIRST in line for individual co-parent coaching, being launched by CNFC this year. Just fill out the info form to get on the pre-registration list! To learn more about the Center for Navigating Family Change, go to: CNFC.org. FINALLY, the digital version of our Communication Protocol Workshop is available for purchase. Click here to buy the video.

You’ll find instructions about this method in the I Am Non-Impossible journal, AVAILABLE on Amazon for a limited-time price of only $9.95 (Kindle version is $2.99). This is also a great gift for those in your life who are seeking co-parenting peace. ORDER YOURS NOW!

To get a copy of the communication protocol order, CLICK HERE.

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

CLICK HERE to offer help to the Right to Peace Foundation. We’re on a mission!

Those who were Patreon VIPs get resources l

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

Find us on X (Twitter) and Instagram @CPDilemmas

If you are a professional working with high-conflict co-parents, join our LinkedIn group.

Interested in Individual Co-Parent Communication Coaching? Click Here!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com

Become a Non-Impossible VIP Listener for some really cool perks!

To get a special discount on therapy through BetterHelp, visit www.BetterHelp.com/Dilemma

Dealing with alcohol addiction in your co-parent relationship? Explore peace of mind with SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

RATE THE SHOW!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming ...

Listener Colleen writes to get advice on how to manage her emotions and not answer her co-parent’s lying emails and texts. Diane & Rick discuss the importance of becoming desensitized to the other parent’s trigger attempts. As well as practice resisting the temptation to respond as a coping skill for the anxiety. Also discussed are strategies to begin the desensitization process.

If you have a problematic paragraph in your parenting plan that you would like the hosts to review,  email it to 1234Dilemma@gmail.com.

BE FIRST in line for individual co-parent coaching, being launched this year . Just fill out the info form to get on the pre-registration list! To learn more about the Center for Navigating Family Change, go to: CNFC.org. FINALLY, the digital version of our Communication Protocol Workshop is available for purchase. Click here to buy the video.

You’ll find instructions about this method in the I Am Non-Impossible journal, AVAILABLE on Amazon for a limited-time price of only $9.95 (Kindle version is $2.99). This is also a great gift for those in your life who are seeking co-parenting peace. ORDER YOURS NOW!

To get a copy of the communication protocol order, CLICK HERE.

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

CLICK HERE to offer help to the Right to Peace Foundation. We’re on a mission!

Those who were Patreon VIPs get resources like these for free upon release, so consider supporting the show so

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

Find us on X (Twitter) and Instagram @CPDilemmas

If you are a professional working with high-conflict co-parents, join our LinkedIn group.

Interested in Individual Co-Parent Communication Coaching? Click Here!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com

Become a Non-Impossible VIP Listener for some really cool perks!

To get a special discount on therapy through BetterHelp, visit www.BetterHelp.com/Dilemma

Dealing with alcohol addiction in your co-parent relationship? Explore peace of mind with SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

RATE THE SHOW!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming ...

Most men and women who live in dysfunctional marriages are challenged to find the strength and courage to leave, navigate what may very well be a high conflict divorce and figure out how to reinvent themselves post divorce. Today’s guest walks us through her journey of using the pain of childhood challenges and an oppressive marriage to fuel personal growth and a better next chapter.

Kate was a monied spouse who also took on the lion’s share of raising the family and household tasks. Overwhelmed and exhausted with two little children, and a corporate job, Kate had to create an exit plan to leave her marriage and reinvent her life.

Kate Walker is an Author, Executive Leadership Coach who served as Human Resources Director at global companies in marketing, gaming and sports before taking the leap into entrepreneurship as a single mom of two sons.

With no more corporate salary and two sons to support, Kate used her business experience and mindset principles to turn her new consulting company into a success. A true self-made woman and the long term financial provider for her family, Kate is sharing her journey in her upcoming book, A Candid Conversation: Lessons in Life, Love, and Leadership [out NOW]. Both a memoir and a guide to leadership and empowerment, Kate shares the advice and tools she wishes she’d had while navigating a corporate exit, single parenthood, and entrepreneurship with two sons at home.

More ways to connect with Kate:

• Website: https://www.katewalker.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thekatewalker/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katewalkercoaching
• Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-walker-sphr

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com
• Take the "Relationship Health Quiz" Quiz: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/relationshiphealthquiz

Listener Travis asks how to manage holidays with the children when his co-parent historically makes plans on his time. He’s tired of her sabotaging every holiday, but doesn’t want the kids to be stuck in the middle. Should he set a boundary with her or let it go? Diane & Rick break it down.

You’ll find instructions about this method in the I Am Non-Impossible journal, AVAILABLE on Amazon for a limited-time price of only $9.95 (Kindle version is $2.99). This is also a great gift for those in your life who are seeking co-parenting peace. ORDER YOURS NOW!

FINALLY, the digital version of our Communication Protocol Workshop is available for purchase. Click here to buy the video.

BE FIRST in line for individual co-parent coaching, being launched by CNFC this fall. Just fill out the info form to get on the pre-registration list! To learn more about the Center for Navigating Family Change, go to: CNFC.org.

CLICK HERE to offer help to the Right to Peace Foundation. We’re on a mission!

CLICK HERE to read Diane’s latest blog about radical resistance.

Those who were Patreon VIPs get resources like these for free upon release, so consider supporting the show so you can get these perks, but more importantly, so we can continue offering the best advice in the business, to the world, for FREE!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com or access us on our  NON-Impossibles Facebook group.

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

Find us on X (Twitter) and Instagram @CPDilemmas

If you are a professional working with high-conflict co-parents, join our LinkedIn group.

Interested in Individual Co-Parent Communication Coaching? Click Here!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com

Become a Non-Impossible VIP Listener for some really cool perks!

To get a special discount on therapy through BetterHelp, visit www.BetterHelp.com/Dilemma

Dealing with alcohol addiction in your co-parent relationship? Explore peace of mind with SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

RATE THE SHOW!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming ...

De-escalating High Conflict People with EAR Statements: An insightful look at calming down difficult situations
In this episode, Bill and Megan dive into how to use EAR statements (showing empathy, attention, and respect) to de-escalate high conflict people and situations. They discuss the different high conflict personality types and when EAR statements can be effective tools. Bill and Megan also talk about combining EAR statements with limit setting, and when it's best to just disengage entirely.

EAR statements are a compassionate way to acknowledge someone's emotions while still maintaining professional boundaries. Bill explains how a short EAR statement can radically shift a tense interaction by making the other person feel heard and seen.

However, EAR statements aren't advisable in dangerous or abusive situations. Safety should always come first. Bill and Megan also caution that overusing empathy with manipulative personality types can backfire.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• Do EAR statements work for all high conflict personalities?
• How do you use EAR statements with the paranoid, narcissistic, and antisocial types?
• When is it best to just disengage and set a limit?

Key Takeaways:

• EAR statements show empathy, attention, and respect - this calms people down.
• They work for most high conflict personalities, especially borderline and histrionic.
• Disengage from aggressive people for your own safety. You have the right.
• Don't over-empathize with manipulative personalities - set limits.
• Compassion for people's histories can help you use EAR statements sincerely.

This insightful episode is essential listening for anyone who deals with difficult people regularly. Bill and Megan's wisdom and experience provide easy-to-implement communication tools that can transform volatile situations. Their compassionate approach promotes understanding on both sides of tense interactions.

Links & Other Notes

• BOOKS
  • Calming Upset People with EAR
  • High Conflict People in Legal Disputes
• COURSES
  • Are You Talking to the Wrong Brain?
• CONSULTATION & COACHING
  • Live Lab (1:1 coaching to learn verbal and written communication skills in high conflict situations)
  • Consultations (1:1 educational consultation to discuss high conflict situations and cases with our high conflict experts)
• ARTICLES
  • EAR Statements Can Calm Clients and Anyone, Especially in Today’s World
  • Calming Upset People Fast with EAR
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
  • Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
  • All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
  • You can also find these show notes at our site as well.
  • 
    
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
• Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
• All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (01:21) - Are EAR Statements for Everyone?
• (01:58) - Empathy, Attention and Respect
• (07:52) - Does It Work With Everybody?
• (11:54) - Acknowledgement
• (14:39) - Paranoid
• (16:48) - EAR and Limits
• (20:22) - When Not a Professional Relationship
• (23:03) - Knowing When to Protect Yourself
• (24:35) - The Right to Disengage
• (26:05) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Grief Over the Death of a High Conflict Loved One

Want to learn more about BIFF and EAR responses? We have a lab that's designed for anyone. Click here to learn more about our Live Lab. Sign up today!

Adult children are often overlooked and forgotten when their parents divorce later in life. They are men and women, ages 18 to 50. Some are single; some married. Some have children of their own.

All of them are in different stages of shock, fear, and sudden, dramatic change.

As adults, their parents tend to overlook, minimize or diminish feelings and struggles around their parent’s divorce. And their parents are more apt to rely on them for emotional, practical or financial support. Today we explore the impact divorce has on adult children, how healthy boundaries can assist both adult children and divorcing parents and other issues to be aware of as well as strategies for handling this difficult season for everyone involved.

With me today are Bruce Fredenburg and Carol Hughes, two mental health experts who have decades of experience in the divorce arena and have co-authored the book “Home Will Never Be the Same Again: A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce”

More ways to connect with Bruce and Carol:

• Website: www.divorcepeacemaking.com
• Instagram: @GrayDivorce and @dr.carol.hughes

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com
• Join the Ultimate High Conflict Divorce Summit: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/summit2023

Finding Your Way as a Young Adult with a High-Conflict Parent
In this week's episode, Bill and Megan discuss the challenges many young adults face when launching into independent adulthood after growing up with a high-conflict parent.

Bill and Megan have noticed an uptick in parents saying their young adult children are floundering after high school. While there are many contributing factors, a common thread seems to be having a parent with a high-conflict personality. This can significantly impact a young person's ability to find direction and become fully independent.

Bill and Megan explore the cultural and social factors that make this transitional time particularly difficult for young people today. They discuss how our interconnected online world, while having many benefits, can also lead to comparison, depression and a feeling of not belonging. Bullying and toxic relationships enabled by social media exacerbate these issues.

In addition, they examine the direct impact of growing up with a self-focused, high-conflict parent. This can leave young people feeling responsible for the parent and unable to focus on their own wants and needs. Bill and Megan provide perspective on how to overcome these challenges, emphasizing the importance of finding mentors, engaging in healthy social connections and seeking professional support if needed.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How can today's media culture negatively impact young people?
• What are some strategies for young people struggling with a high-conflict parent?
• Where can young adults find support and a sense of belonging?

Key Takeaways:

• Comparison on social media can lead to loneliness and depression
• Bullying has more power and reach than ever before
• Mentors and jobs can provide direction and purpose
• Group therapy and school counseling are helpful resources
• Focus on developing your own identity and passions

This uplifting episode provides hope and helpful advice for young people navigating adulthood in today's complex world. Bill and Megan offer perspective and guidance for anyone supporting a young person struggling to spread their wings.

Links & Other Notes

• CONSULTATION & COACHING
  • Live Lab (1:1 coaching to learn verbal and written communication skills in high conflict situations)
  • Consultations (1:1 educational consultation to discuss high conflict situations and cases with our high conflict experts)
• BOOKS
  • New Ways for Life™ Instructor’s Guide
  • New Ways for Life™ Youth Journal
• TRAINING COURSES FOR PROFESSIONALS
  • New Ways for Life (training to work with youth 12-17 on life skills: for counselors, therapists and youth leaders)
• ARTICLES
  • Kids and Self-Esteem
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
• Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
• All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (01:23) - State of Floundering Young People
• (02:25) - Why So Much Floundering?
• (09:37) - Bullying and Stimulation
• (13:12) - Parenting
• (18:17) - When Truly Floundering
• (20:08) - How Many?
• (22:32) - Wrap Up
• (22:49) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Are EAR Statements for All High Conflict Types?

Want to learn more about BIFF and EAR responses? We have a lab that's designed for anyone. Click here to learn more about our Live Lab. Sign up today!

A Parent Coordinator (PC) helps mediate and resolve disputes between parents in high conflict divorces. A PC is often a vital support both during and post divorce. If you find it impossible to make joint decisions with your STBX and virtually every interaction turns into a struggle or a power play, this podcast is for you!!

Parent Coordinators can be mental health experts, attorneys or mediators. What they all have in common is their training as a parent coordinator with the ability to help parents stay child centers and learn how to collaborate. When that isn’t possible, the PC can be the tie-breaker. The challenges you are facing with your co-parent will inform what PC expert would be best for your situation and how detailed your settlement agreement should be regarding the PC’s involvement and authority.

Dr. Lauren Behrman shares a wealth of information on what a parent coordinator is and is not, the value of involving them in the process during the divorce, the questions you want to ask in order to choose the right PC, and so much more!

Dr. Behrman has her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and has been in private practice since 1985 and has considerable professional experience in treating children and families of divorce. Lauren is trained in High-Conflict Co-parent Counseling, Parent Coordination, Interdisciplinary Collaborative Divorce Practice and Mediation. Dr. Behrman co-authored “Loving Your Children More Than You Hate Each Other”, a book for high conflict divorcing parents which was published in 2018.

More ways to connect with Dr. Behrman:

• Website: https://www.behrmanpsychologicalandfamilymediationservices.com/

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com
• Join the Ultimate High Conflict Divorce Summit: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/summit2023
• Win Without Law School: https://www.winwithoutlawschool.com/
• Co-Parenting Masterclass: https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle questions from grandparents struggling to support grandchildren amidst high conflict co-parents.

Protecting Kids from Raging Co-Parents

First, they advise how grandparents can help shield kids from a raging, unstable parent. Recommendations include teaching emotional regulation, self-checking, and conflict management skills. Stay positive about the high conflict parent.

Co-Parenting with a Difficult Ex Long-Term

Next is guidance for co-parenting long-term with a high conflict, accusatory ex. Bill emphasizes staying calm, balanced, and solution-focused. Praise successes. Accept the limitations on your role as a grandparent.

Getting an Expert Evaluation for Court

Then Bill explains why expert testimony is critical for custody cases with a parent with tendencies like factitious disorder or personality disorders. Experts can explain the need for detailed custody orders.

Minimizing Damage as Kids Grow Up

Finally, they discuss how to minimize damage as kids mature and become more aware of a high conflict parent’s extreme behaviors. Expose kids to reasonable role models and encourage their insights.

Key Takeaways:

• Teach kids emotional regulation and critical thinking
• Stay positive about the high conflict parent
• Get expert testimony for custody cases
• Accept your limited role as a grandparent
• Focus on providing stability

The key is accepting your limited role as a grandparent, focusing on your own behavior, and providing a stabilizing presence for grandchildren. Get support from other grandparents going through similar challenges.

Links & Other Notes:

• COURSES
  • Erasing Family Documentary with Resist/Refuse Commentary from Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
  • Resistance, Refusal and the Child’s Brain
  • New Ways for Families (course for parents in divorce/separation/co-parenting)
• BOOKS
  • Don’t Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce
  • New Ways for Families: Professional Guidebook
  • New Ways for Families: Parent Workbook
  • High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide
  • Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
• VIDEOS
  • The Primitive Emotional Power of Alienation
  • Alienation is Not Normal
  • Overcoming the Contagious Emotions of Alienation
• ARTICLES
  • Is Your Child Alienated?
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
• Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
• All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (00:34) - Grandparents and High Conflict
• (00:58) - Question One
• (16:06) - Question Two
• (22:47) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Workplace Conflict

Want to learn more about BIFF and EAR responses? We have a lab that's designed for anyone. Click here to learn more about our Live Lab. Sign up today!

As a follow up to Part One, Diane and Rick describe the family court hearing they recently attended and interview one of the parties.  They get a first-hand perspective about the personal devastation these types of cases cause, even when there is a capable judge in place. How does it feel to prepare for years for a final hearing, only to be completely deflated by an out-of-touch judge?  Find out in this episode.

CLICK HERE to offer help to the Right to Peace Foundation. We’re on a mission!

CLICK HERE to read Diane’s latest blog about radical resistance.

FINALLY, the digital version of our Communication Protocol Workshop is available for purchase. Click here to buy the video.

Those who were Patreon VIPs get resources like these for free upon release, so consider supporting the show so you can get these perks, but more importantly, so we can continue offering the best advice in the business, to the world, for FREE!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com or access us on our  NON-Impossibles Facebook group.

Be first in line for individual co-parent coaching, being launched by CNFC this fall. Just fill out the info form to get on the pre-registration list! To learn more about the Center for Navigating Family Change, go to: CNFC.org.

The print-version of theI Am Non-Impossible journal is AVAILABLE on Amazon for a limited-time price of only $9.95 (Kindle version is $2.99). This is also a great gift for those in your life who are seeking co-parent

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

Find us on X (Twitter) and Instagram @CPDilemmas

If you are a professional working with high-conflict co-parents, join our LinkedIn group.

Interested in Individual Co-Parent Communication Coaching? Click Here!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com

Become a Non-Impossible VIP Listener for some really cool perks!

To get a special discount on therapy through BetterHelp, visit www.BetterHelp.com/Dilemma

Dealing with alcohol addiction in your co-parent relationship? Explore peace of mind with SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

RATE THE SHOW!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming ...

Amanda Ripley is a New York Times bestselling author, journalist, and co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict. As the violence abroad and at home escalates, Ripley and Patel discuss “high conflict” – what it is, how it impacts individuals and society, and ways to resolve high-conflict situations.

GUEST BIO: 

Amanda has spent her career trying to make sense of complicated human mysteries by following survivors of all kinds. Her most recent book is High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out, winner of a 2022 Christopher Award. Her previous books include The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes—and Why, which was published in 15 countries and turned into a PBS documentary, and The Smartest Kids in the World—and How They Got That Way, a New York Times bestseller which was also turned into a documentary film. 

Her work has also appeared in the New York Times, the Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal, Slate, The Guardian, the Harvard Business Review, and the Times of London. Her stories helped Time win two National Magazine Awards. Previously, she served as an Emerson Collective Senior Fellow and the host of the weekly Slate podcast How To!

You can tune in to all episodes on our website, Apple, Spotify, and wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. New episodes drop every Tuesday at 5 a.m. CST. 

What if your co-parent informed you, after the fact, that your child was baptized — and according to your child, all of his/her extended family attended?! How do you respond when your child wants to know why you weren’t there? Diane & Rick discuss the difficulty of dealing with a co-parent who purposely leaves the other parent out of major decisions or life events. WHO DOES THIS? Unfortunately, too many.

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com or access us on our  NON-Impossibles Facebook group.

FINALLY, the digital version of our Communication Protocol Workshop is available for purchase. Click here to buy the video.

Those who were Patreon VIPs get resources like these for free upon release, so consider supporting the show so you can get these perks, but more importantly, so we can continue offering the best advice in the business, to the world, for FREE!

Be first in line for individual co-parent coaching, being launched by CNFC this fall. Just fill out the info form to get on the pre-registration list! To learn more about the Center for Navigating Family Change, go to: CNFC.org.

The print-version of theI Am Non-Impossible journal is AVAILABLE on Amazon for a limited-time price of only $9.95 (Kindle version is $2.99). This is also a great gift for those in your life who are seeking co-parenting peace. ORDER YOURS NOW!

CLICK HERE to offer help to the Right to Peace Foundation. We’re on a mission!

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

Find us on X (Twitter) and Instagram @CPDilemmas

If you are a professional working with high-conflict co-parents, join our LinkedIn group.

Interested in Individual Co-Parent Communication Coaching? Click Here!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com

Become a Non-Impossible VIP Listener for some really cool perks!

To get a special discount on therapy through BetterHelp, visit www.BetterHelp.com/Dilemma

Dealing with alcohol addiction in your co-parent relationship? Explore peace of mind with SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

RATE THE SHOW!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming ...

Diane & Rick reach into the mailbag and answer several listener questions about common topics facing parents with impossibles on the other side. They discuss a variety of topics on the show and give episode reference numbers for listeners to hear more about each topic from past episodes. 

FINALLY, the digital version of our Communication Protocol Workshop is available for purchase. Click here to buy the video.

Those who were Patreon VIPs get resources like these for free upon release, so consider supporting the show so you can get these perks, but more importantly, so we can continue offering the best advice in the business, to the world, for FREE!

Be first in line for individual co-parent coaching, being launched by CNFC this fall. Just fill out the info form to get on the pre-registration list! To learn more about the Center for Navigating Family Change, go to: CNFC.org.

The print-version of theI Am Non-Impossible journal is AVAILABLE on Amazon for a limited-time price of only $9.95 (Kindle version is $2.99). This is also a great gift for those in your life who are seeking co-parenting peace. ORDER YOURS NOW!

CLICK HERE to offer help to the Right to Peace Foundation. We’re on a mission!

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

To get a special discount on therapy through BetterHelp,  visit www.BetterHelp.com/Dilemma

If you are a professional working with high-conflict co-parents, join our

Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook group

Find us on X (Twitter) and Instagram @CPDilemmas

If you are a professional working with high-conflict co-parents, join our LinkedIn group.

Interested in Individual Co-Parent Communication Coaching? Click Here!

Have a co-parent dilemma? Email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com

Become a Non-Impossible VIP Listener for some really cool perks!

To get a special discount on therapy through BetterHelp, visit www.BetterHelp.com/Dilemma

Dealing with alcohol addiction in your co-parent relationship? Explore peace of mind with SoberLink. For a discount on your device, CLICK HERE.

RATE THE SHOW!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming ...