hundredpounder

It is important for me to attend strong meetings where people ave gone through all the steps.

My weight popped between first and second grade. Food helped me handle my home life.

Admitting I was a compulsive eater was easy. Surrendering to the program - not so easy.

I developed daily practices,  had a spiritual connection and i was working. When it slipped, I slipped for about a year.

When I came back I embraced the reality of the program and my life changed - for the better.

Meeting my current husband (11 years) was only be possible because I was using the tools of recovery in all my affairs.

I continue to do the steps in a variety of ways each revealing something different.

Today I ask myself questions about how I can improve and then act on the answers.

Addictive family, Dinner was a challenge. A smorgabord  of food behaviors.

My first obsession was bread and I knew enough that is brought me sham

My first real addiction was cocaine and it helped me eat less. Exercise bulimia was also part of my story.

When drugs and alcohol left my left there was room for food.

Being in 2 12 step programs, heard of OA and one more time I found a way to not belong.

I discovered my emotional triggers fro binging and continue to do the work one day at a time.

I lived in LA when they started 100 Pounder meetings.

I became and addict in infancy with teabags filled with sugar instead of a pacifier.

I married at 17 to get away from my parents. I was not anything resembling a adult relationship.

Came to OA first in 1976 In LA embraced the grey sheet food plan an lost 140 lbs. and relapsed as a blackout eater in and out for 7 years.

Took me a long time to connect my weight with my food.

Finally got it abstinence coming up on 40 years continuously.

When I came to OA in 92 I was broken. They asked me to read at my first meeting. I said "I can't read, I'm new" - Really?

I call my disease my Lower Power.

I will go through the 15 newcomer questions to confirm I qualify. I do.

Today I am half the man I was both in weight and size.

My relationship with my Higher Power, service and the steps are the foundation for my recovery.

I excelled in academics to hide my insecurities up through scholarship in undergrad and flunked out at Grad level.

I am a sugar addict, Not a normal eater. I ended up suicidal in a locked ward.

I tried going Vegan which was really not compatible with my body.

My first 12 step program was ACA, Finally into OA where I learned I had to clean up other addictions to be sober in OA. Today I am active in 3 programs.

My motto is to do more of what works and less of what doesn't.

I continue to work the steps out of the big book examining my part and what basic instincts are out of whack. i do a little every night.

I do a little every day. 

I was not wanted and ended in an orphanage. I was adopted by parents who had their own personal and relationship issues.

Big as a child and picked on at school. 

At 20 I worked in LA, saw diet DRs, used speed and lost weight with unintended consequences.

Got married for all the wrong reasons.

Failed at DRs food plan, Did not qualify for bypass surgery, Was sent to OA - the free one. Eventually leaned into the program.

The miracles started kicking in and have not stopped.

"Missed first few minutes, Mike G, amung a crew of guys whose sole purpose was to eat BBQ and lots of it. REALLY LOTS!!!"

My BBQ band was my way of being. I would eat tons, publicly, deliberately and proudly.

I came into OA 

My sponsor suggested go to 3 meals a day and 5 things I don't eat.

Meetings made it seem real. I was doing the deal. Others were doing the deal. Eating was my connection- now it is OA.

Now I sponsor men and i REALLY do care about them.

I came in with a list of what my higher power was not. I found I could determine what it would be.

My food is now a gift from my higher power building me, nutritionally, 

I used to used food to keep my rage down. it pooped out as I recovery. I stayed the course and have some scene of emotional sobriety, appropriate reactions to life

Grew up as a perfectionist which served me well during that time.

Always overate. No amount of education would help.

Drifted near OA but left when I realized there were no 'cheat days'. Like my Birthday.

I next came back for a while dabbling as OA 'adjacent' I knew the word but not the behavior.

I finally accepted that I am NOT the best judge of what I should be eating. 

Member of multiple 12 step programs. 

I am retired and more to hang by the fridge.

I grew up in alcoholic home. and learned to avoid everything with all five children with working addictions. 

My brother was morbidly obese and recently passed away.

I learned to use food to escape, specially at night.. Dinner . then the junk until I passed out.

I do the first three steps before every meal.  I slows me down to eat mindfully so I know when I am full. Helps me feel satisfied.

If I don't go to meetings I can forget and end up listening to my disease rather than my sponsor.

There are lots of opportunities for service. It really make a difference for my recovery and helps others...

I took notes during meetings and used the notes as a topic for sharing during outreach calls.

First OA meeting 1979. i@ 230 and  binging chocolate.

I learned to ' Act as If' i believed these suggestions might possible help. Regardless of whether I 'Felt like it' or 'Believed it' or 'Liked it'

I weigh and measure my food. 'Sharing pictures'

The weight of my body and the weight of the food I eat are the touchstones of truth. 

I was willing to go to any lengths and it has worked. 

Good to have a home group where you know them and they get to know you. 

I came to my first OA meeting early, thought it was a free weight watchers. 

My family enjoys exercise and outdoorsy stuff. 

My dad put a padlock on the pantry for me and a padlock on the liquor cabinet for my brother.

For a long time my I thought the most important thing was that I was not slim. Being fat was the cause for all my problems.

In 1999 I went to OA full of shame the whole meeting  but kept coming back.

Physical recovery was the last thing I achieved.

I know I am either maintaining or gaining. That thought helps me stay on course.

Came into OA through Al-Anon.

I grew up in a dysfunctional home and coped by being good and eating, supressing any emotions and pretending to be what they wanted.

I accepted a suggestion from my wife, went to an OA meeting and knew I had found my people.

I fell in line, got a sponsor worked the steps lost weight. Lost my sponsor, stopped working the steps and some weight came back on.

Today with a new sponsor I am  working steps like a newcomer and my recovery is coming back.

I still wanted to be my own higher power or let other be that Power That has changed with my surrender to the OA Program. 

Now I am turning everything I can over to my HP and my life is getting better.

The more honest I am with my steps the more I discover. 

I am gaining acceptance of things that happened,things I have done and myself.

My core family emotion was rage. Learned to ask for NOTHING.

As an anorexic I was not connected to my hunger until I was way overdue for food and then I binged. 

I entered recovery by removing all sharp knives and having my friends hide them from me.I was not well.

Today I still weigh and measure my food at home.

Every step has life lessons. 

My food plan is redundant - That works well for me.

I have been with my food sponsor for 30 years. He knows me well.

My friends are in recovery.

I am in other 12 step programs. I have to be good in all 3 to call myself 'sober'

Topped out over 300 LBS  Now I have 44 years abstinent.

I was overweight early and hated myself growing up

I was berated by my family.  Went to first OA meeting at 17 in 1973.

I had lots of difficulties with the steps The grey sheet helped me loose weight. . . A lot of weight. but not for long. 

I ate my way into the threat of diabetic blindness. All my reasons for avoiding OA were trashed my first meeting back.

I was full of resentments and did not want to be told what to do.

Eventually I began the inner work and got better results in my body but specially in my mind. There are always reasons to eat. Better reason to abstain.

I went to AA Meetings to support another and it filtered into me and my food.

Even with sponsors I went insane with dieting. which led me away from the program.

In 2008 I hit another bottom which took me back to program.  I jumped into all aspects of the program, steps, service, a daily ritual.

My experience is that with my yellow light foods I was in denial that they belonged to the red light list.

My wife was taking a client to AA meetings sitting in the back. Mentioned they had a problem with alcohol like I did with food and mentioned OA. That did not please me. 

I ended up in OA wanting relief from the grief without making any changes in my behavior.

Eventually I embraced actually doing as told, getting a food plan, doing the steps.

I have done the steps and continue each time I take a sponsee through them.

I have daily actions regarding my food, my programmed and my life. 

I can still be driven by pride, self centeredness or fear but not as often not as long and not as intensely.

I was adopted and that comes with its unique baggage.

I always felt there was something wrong with me.

My story matches so many others, My mom comforted me with food and it worked. 

I came to OA in 1976. I followed the strict food plan, lost weight and collected sponsees. It cost me my family which was not a bad thing.

I started meetings at my apartment. And found a church that synced well with my program.

I unknowingly married an alcoholic which led to my relapse. which led me to Al-Anon. which opened my eyes even more.

The beginning of her sobriety was also my return to abstinence.

I have a morning ritual which includes my sponsees, reading, walking and it seems to be working . . for me.

Always bought clothes in Husky.My parents would bribe me to loose weight. did it, got the prize then right back up.

It was suggested. I go to OA. and found out it was not Order of the Arrow.

First food plan was grey sheet. lost weight, too much weigh. 

I was sent to AA and  discovered 'Solutions.. Learned to listen for the similarities, not the differences.

I was directed to a sponsor who scared me the most.

How do you keep weight off? - repeatedly running up the steps.

Today I can be honest with God, Myself and my sponsor.

I share my gratitude with individuals freely. 

My first food plan was no sugar which seemed impossible.

When I got 21 Days i was eligible to be a sponsor.

The foundation of my abstinence was still no sugar my food plan is built on that. That gave me too much wiggle room.

I ended up down to 88 lbs on the food plan I had been given. It did not last and I left OA

From then on I went up and own with insane eating and insane diets.

I calculated how much laxative I need to take take to offset my eating. 

Today I have a daily ritual, solid food plan that works and a relationship and conscious contact with a higher power.

2 Periods of abstinence.

For me abstinence is binary, I am or i am not. 

When I came back I was eating from the produce aisle and still gaining weight.

There was a shift when I changed from eating emotionally to eating nutritionally based on a food plan.

I have a Higher Power and I shorten it to God.

I still feel the pull. Today I call me sponsor instead of giving into it.

Half of my abstinence is an attitude,

Program always comes first.