millcreek

* * Missing 4 minutes of recording @ 3 minute mark. * *

When I lost my abstinence I gained the weight.

No amount of food could fill the hole in the center of my being.

My biographical timeline is marked by food.

I was a secret eater until I got found out.

Pay and weigh worked dramatically for the weight but not for the 'me'

I left the dynamics I grew up with when I went to college, But I took me with me. Back to secrets.

College went from 175  to 0ver 300. Now to work.

3 Continuous fears. Not getting what I want, Loosing what I have, or Being found out.

As my fears got bigger, my world got smaller and I was 525 lbs.

It was a year after I asked God for help before I got into the program.

Early on my life I learned how to keep secrets, and how to hate.

Morbid obesity arrived in my 20s.

While over 300 Lbs I was neurotic about what my son ate.

I did not diet. Any weight adjustments were from changes in my activity.

When I joined OA I resisted being told what to do.

I lost 125 Lbs with very little recovery.

Rich honest emotions are a gift of recovery.

Paul D from Seattle

Annual suggestion to diet and exercise got me started, for a minute.

At one time I was taken to the hospital - FOR OVEREATING

4 Cs   crisis, clarity, colliding opportunities, commitment to a spiritual solution,

A multitude of health issues should have given me a clue about my problem with food.

I discovered Buddhism was the religion of moderation - Poof I'm a Buddhist.

I have studied OA, read ALL the literature, completed the steps and got involved in service. 

I have sent a gratitude list to my sponsor for more that 1000 days.

My abstinence is about foods, behaviors and thoughts.

I had a list of things I wanted from my relationship to OA. They have come true.

6 Months before I came into the program due to my health I considered suicide.

Prior to OA I had no idea of how my life had become such a disaster.

Oatmeal chicken chicken was not for me.

My addictive foods became VERY clear to me.

Established my recovery right out of the Big Book of AA.

I have to understand it is not about lunch. It is about a fatal disease.

Today I am a healthy member of OA and society trying to do my best and be of service.

I favor sponsors with AA background and their that approach to the Big Book.

I turn to my higher power in times of stress rather than the food.

If I go back out I really will die due to my chronic health issues.

A consistent food plan is my salvation.

I share about my issues to let others know they are not alone.

I have friends outside of OA and they are Real friends.

Over 350 when I graduated HS.

On going pattern - Loose weight, have emotions, put it back.

Complacency does not support recovery.

When I had emotional pain in any form, food and sex really did help relieve it... for a while

I no longer focus on the food, I focus on my surrender. Seems to work better.

My need for acceptance led me to some REALLY BAD choices.

For me real healing must include abstinence.

Three questions for offering help.

I didn't come to OA to suffer, I came to be free. Today I am.

My process or recovery was SLOWbriety.

My Dad locked food not knowing what to do with me.

In college I had unsupervised access to all the food I wanted.

 * * Missing first 2 minutes of the talk * * *

Diets and drama worked for a minute.

I got to 12 step though my husbands' recovery.

Real recovery is more than meetings and prayer.

Terror, fear and hunger all felt the same in my body.

Yellow light foods are really red light foods I am unwilling to give up.

I was born prematurely. That was the last time I was underweight.

Growing up we showed love with food. I couldn't get enough love or food.

I did lots of diets, They all worked for a while and only once.

Every time I thought I was doing great it led to my doing poorly and then regaining my weight.

I finally surrendered into the program over a can of oysters.

At my highest weight I was using a cane. Any physical activity was a challenge.

I recently played Basketball. Different set of emotional flooded me than I was used to.

Black was slimming ... I thought

The most important amends that I had to make,  that took the longest, was to myself.

Abstinence did not suddenly give me social skills.

Relapse is part of my story. Acknowledging in allows me to help others who may be struggling and ashamed.

My goals ended up being limiting. God had way better plans for me.

I use tool every day.

Defiance is still one of my character defects.

Today my food plan and my lifestyle activities directly support my health.

Growing up alcohol was just liquid sugar.

I was stealing food in first grade.

As youngest of 11children  I was in the 'who could loose weight' family competition in the third grade.

I failed at anorexia and bulimia.

Sugar was my 'drug' of choice.

By 22 I was over 300 lbs

Gained and lost over 100 lbs at least 6 times.

Nailed the program. Lost weight, spoke, was a super hero for a moment.

The message of OA is welcoming, supportive and available to all who want it. All excuses are accepted.

Black and white abstinence is the only thing the works for me. I don't do well with 'wiggle room'

Nothing changed until I got a sponsor.

HOW had the food plan I rejected/needed/accepted but actually led to weight loss.

I needed the program much longer than I wanted it. Today I want it.

I was told Our built in freezer would kill me. I went in all the time.

I used food to feel better. I used Alcohol to not feel at all.

I would eat as if it was I was in a blackout.

They said it's not about the food but I wasn't buying it.

Even putting down the food did not make my life manageable.

The more I try to control others the more stress I experience.

The disease gripped me in a death grip at age 30.

I would binge on appropriate foods and lots of it.

I came to OA at 33 and the welcoming made it not scary.

I keep coming back, food continues to speak to me. I act on it by making a call.

I lost weight but I also lost most of my crazy thoughts. and I have tools when they come back.

Tonight I will talk about the 12 Traditions And the principles behind each tradition.

'A great set of explanations connecting each tradition with its fundamental Principle'

Barb 9-9-88. My "in my disease" life was a minimal closed in reality.

*  Polly Q I spent years in 'white knuckle abstinence' It was not fun. and ended in relapse.

Today my abstinence is all about my relationship with my higher power

*  Beth -  Lost 140 LBS, Gained a modicum of sanity.

* Amanda - Escape artist with food as my favorite tool

My behavior was based on my addiction.

I was advised to address 'what was killing me the fastest' It was not food at that time.

*  April In program a long time but in the background. 'I'm good thanks'

Today my journey is about surrender.

A Clear description of the intention and results from OA in his life.

Could not find clothes in Paris.

I binged because I was ashamed of being fat.

In OA I was a dishonest people pleaser.

After a brief relapse I asked the scariest woman to be my sponsor.

Certain foods became poison to me.

I identified specific 'Alcoholic' behaviors to avoid.

Kimberly goes through her experiences with the steps.

My whole life became about my loosing weight. and my family agreed.

I have certain white powders which are drugs and toxins for me.

When I finally got to OA, I dove right in (meetings, steps service) and my life changed.  Who knew???

We end up lying to ourselves when we remember what food did for us and forget what it did to us.