misbehavior

If you think of your relationship with your child (and every other relationship in your life!) as a co-created Dance - the dance of communication - the exciting news is that if you want things to go a different way you can change your steps and create a new dance!

Listening & Cooperation are interlinked. 

LISTENING:

• Listen quietly and attentively. Give your undivided attention. 

“Mama, I want you to listen with the eyes in front of your head!” 

• Gain attention with a gentle touch before attempting communication. 

Teach your children this technique to get someone’s attention, too!

• The fewer words the better!

“Whenever possible, use a sentence instead of a paragraph, a word instead of a sentence…”   ~ Dr Haim Ginott, Between Parent and Child

• Observe your tone of voice. Our children respond to the emotions first, the words we say seep in later. 
• Say it once! Repeating ourselves is one of our parts of the not-working-so-well dance of communication with our littles. Listen in to see what to do instead! (Clue: it’s all right here ^^) 

COOPERATION:  

• Creating daily routines can encourage your child’s cooperation. Children feel safe when their world is predictable. Some examples of how to create routines and charts to follow. 
• Use a timer! The timer is then “the boss,” not you, the (getting frustrated and nagging) parent!
• An interesting convo about asking our children to say please and thank you. 

How do they get their chores done when the kids are in front of screens?

• Set parameters for screen /device time.
• Chores first!
• Some ideas of how to intervene into screen time with positive outcomes: 

Move in and get involved in their world for a few moments before shifting into finishing screen time. It only takes a few minutes and can buy you time in the long run! 

If they’re resistant, look at the basics - tired, hungry, overstimulated? 

Be realistic about expectations.                                                                    

Sometimes life is SO fast, with so much to do, patience is our friend! 

• Pre-paving, setting the stage for what comes next, can result in much less resistance.
• Engage our children in age and stage-appropriate family-friendly jobs - hanging their own coats and towels up; putting their boots where boots go; helping clean up their spills… 
• Life happens TO our children. Our lives are SO busy. 

Giving our littles some choices in what happens next in their world can help them feel empowered and like a worthy part of the family.

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

Following last week's episode "NO SUCH THING AS 'BAD KIDS'" we wanted to have a discussion about how we can set our littles up for success and allow them to be curious and explore safely!

What you will get out of today's episode
1. Why do you need to baby-proof your home?
2. The 3 reasons your child will benefit
3. How to baby-proof your home

We want to encourage our kids to explore without knocking their confidence and that starts by setting up their environment to allow them to explore freely. By doing this we help boost their confidence, expand their knowledge and understanding of cause and effect, allow them to crawl/walk/run freely encouraging movement, and give ourselves some peace of mind knowing our kids are safe!

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

Do you feel like your kid can be so bad? Do you get frustrated and tell them what a bad little boy they are for not listening? 

You will easily learn through parenting that you cannot control everything! And sometimes that will make us look at our kids like they are bad people because they can be so difficult but we want to let you know that it is normal. You did not just get a bad apple, but it is in the process of learning and developing. 

In this weeks conversation we want to help you understand
1.  Why toddlers act out
2. Misbehvaior can be a form of communication
3. Misbehavior is normal and leanring how to support them through their development
4. How to use nurturing parent ways to curb their behavior

Defiance, agression, and impulsivity come from immaturity in the pre-frontal cortex. This is why our littles are driven by emotion. The lack of development creates a lack of control and understanding. 

This part of the brain begins to develop around the age of 3-4 years old when you will begin to see abilty to reason, more impulse control, understadning of good vs. bad, and reason to consequences. 

Acting out is also sometimes a form of communication for toddlers. They do not have the ability to understand or express to us their feelings of hunger, tiredness, uncomfort and this will come out in unwanted behaviors. 

We can support our littles through this stage by providing them with firm and consistent boundaries. If we treat them like this is normal and provide them with boundaries we will allow for healthy growth and development. 

Please share and tag us on our platforms below if you enjoyed this episode!

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

As in-person learning gets underway across the country, schools are seeing an increase in disengagement and even disrespect from some students. After two years of learning online and often alone, socializing and sitting still in the classroom can be challenging for kids. Add in learning and thinking differences like ADHD, and it’s a recipe for behavior issues. 

This week on The Opportunity Gap, hosts Julian Saavedra and Marissa Wallace challenge listeners to think of “misbehavior” as a form of communication. They share their experiences as educators and parents, and they offer their advice on how to help kids with their behavior. 

Julian and Marissa also talk about how culture can determine which behaviors are seen as “good” or “bad.” And they discuss why so many kids of color are misunderstood by white teachers. 

To find a transcript for this episode and more resources, visit the episode page at Understood. You can also download Wunder by Understood. This free app includes exercises that can help you track your child's behavior, look for patterns, and get personalized tips along the way.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at opportunitygap@understood.org. 

Understood is a nonprofit and social impact organization dedicated to shaping a world where the 1 in 5 people who learn and think differently can thrive. Learn more about The Opportunity Gap and all our podcasts at u.org/podcasts. Copyright © 2022 Understood for All, Inc. All rights reserved. 

Lauren and Dr. Julie Cradock O’Leary discuss the concept of shame and its impact on students. They explore effective classroom techniques and suggest ways to parent without shame.

Has your children's behavior ever totally embarrassed you or made you wonder where you went wrong as a mother? Welcome to the club! The truth is, as embarrassing or as frustrating as it can be, it happens to ALL of us at some point or another.

That's why today, I'm sharing 8 things you need to do when your children's constant bad behavior is driving you crazy.