Dr. Vats shares that disciplining can be frustrating if parents are not consistent. Of course, there are exceptions, however, each child must be taught the importance of following these rules.
She suggests that we must follow the Pickler philosophy from the U.S. which teaches parents to know when to interfere and when not to by identifying the red (situation where the child is going to hurt himself – DANGER), yellow (a situation where children will need your guidance) and green (a situation where the child is struggling and exploring) behaviors of children. Understanding this will help parents to discipline children with calmness and in an age-appropriate manner.
Disciplining starts early so when children are babies they can be shown picture cards to set a routine. For example –pictures of time for a bath, time to eat, etc. If children understand routine and follow a routine – they are better behaved and throw fewer tantrums.
About the Speaker
An educator, an avant-garde educational activist, a teaching expert, and a parenting guru, Swati Popat Vats makes compassion and empathy with the environment the sole language of integrated learning that she advocates. She is also the Nursery Director for Little Wonders Nursery, Dubai and Joy of Learning Nursery, Sharjah, UAE, and President of Podar Education Network and Early Childhood Association, India.
As a parent, one of your jobs to teach your child to behave. It's a job that takes time and patience. But, it helps to learn the effective and healthy discipline strategies.
Here are some tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) on the best ways to help your child learn acceptable behavior as they grow. The AAP recommends positive discipline strategies that effectively teach children to manage their behavior and keep them from harm while promoting healthy development. These include:
- Show and tell. Teach children right from wrong with calm words and actions. Model behaviors you would like to see in your children.
- Set limits. Have clear and consistent rules your children can follow. Be sure to explain these rules in age-appropriate terms they can understand.
- Give consequences. Calmly and firmly explain the consequences if they don't behave. For example, tell her that if she does not pick up her toys, you will put them away for the rest of the day. Be prepared to follow through right away. Don't give in by giving them back after a few minutes. But remember, never take away something your child truly needs, such as a meal.
- Hear them out. Listening is important. Let your child finish the story before helping solve the problem. Watch for times when misbehavior has a pattern, like if your child is feeling jealous. Talk with your child about this rather than just giving consequences.
- Give them your attention. The most powerful tool for effective discipline is attention—to reinforce good behaviors and discourage others. Remember, all children want their parent's attention.
- Catch them being good. Children need to know when they do something bad--and when they do something good. Notice good behavior and point it out, praising success and good tries. Be specific (for example, "Wow, you did a good job putting that toy away!").
- Know when not to respond. As long as your child isn't doing something dangerous and gets plenty of attention for good behavior, ignoring bad behavior can be an effective way of stopping it. Ignoring bad behavior can also teach children the natural consequences of their actions.
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