parentingissues

In this episode Mary interviews author Elaine Taylor-Kraus from ImpactParents about her new book: The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety and More

This guide gives all parents a guide in how to best help their children overcome their challenges in healthy, loving and practical ways. 

Whether or not you have a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, Asperger’s, any other executive function issues or you’re just worried that your child is out of step with their peers, please listen in for some great advice on how her book can help you in your journey. Personally, I think we all have complex kids and can learn from Elaine’s wisdom. 

She also discusses her parenting class that is a combination of online learning and coaching sessions called Sanity School that is a great compliment to her new book.  

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this episode learn how to get to the heart of your child and teach them how to apologize. 
Learn how to:
1 - Wait till the emotion has passed
2 - Brainstorm with your child to encourage ideas of how the apology can work for them
3 - If their hearts won't melt then allow consequences of their poor decision to not apologize guide them to make better choices. 

Did your parents ever force you to apologize? Did it really make you feel sorry? I’m guessing that, like me, you probably just felt worse, felt embarrassed and it made you even more mad at whatever/whomever caused you to be rude in the first place. 

Apologies are really important, however; what we want is for the heart of our kid to change, to have them understand that their behavior was unacceptable and caused hurt in another human being.  In this podcast are some ideas that might be more effective at changing your child's heart instead of just forcing them through the motions of an insincere “I’m sorry.”

See TRANSCRIPT HERE. 

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this episode we’ll talk about how to get our older kids, teens and tweens, to experience the bigger picture stuff and expose them to some of the messiness of life in a loving, supportive environment where they might even mess up some.  Everything from chores they should know how to do on their own to handling money, cars and how to get a part time job.  I’ll talk about planning vacations in addition to how to handle routine paperwork and cooking.  It’s sort of a laundry list of items I think any parent should consider when training your kids for the future.  

 Here's a list of topics that are covered:
Laundry
Cooking
Cleaning House
Yard work
Painting
Money
Filling out forms
Getting a part-time job
Keeping track of time
Vacation planning
Car driving, care and maintenance

SEE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE

If you have questions, email Mary at mary@parentingdecoded.com.

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Understanding how a person perceives love is essential for knowing how to communicate  love to them.  In this interview I'm so happy to have Bec and Holly who have a podcast called ILoveYouTooMuchToArgue  to explain what Love Languages are and how to use them in your family. 

Five Love Languages are:
Acts of Service
Gifts
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch

Take the free online quiz!


Find Holly and Bec anywhere you listen to podcasts and you can contact them at iloveyoutoomuchtoargue@gmail.com or on their Instagram page - @ILoveYouTooMuchtoArguePodcast

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Many of us struggle with kids who whine, disobey and maybe even lie just to get their way.  We get so exasperated we want to explode and some of us certainly do explode. 

In this podcast we’ll explore what happens in our families if we’re always operating in “crisis mode” then talk about ways to avoid ever getting into that mode by using Family Meetings to set boundaries and limits while communicating as a family what behaviors are acceptable and expected. 

Using this step-by-step method you can set a clear path to success for your family as a team and learn to solve problems together and celebrate living and learning in an ever changing world. 

Here's a transcript of the podcast:  TRANSCRIPT

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this podcast I’m going to cover issues relating to money with middle and high schoolers.  I will go over how to give money and how much, when to give money, and how to set up responsible money habits including how to use an ATM card, checking account, credit cards.  

Money is a huge challenge for us all and at this stage your high schooler or middle schooler is at a huge crossroads with learning life skills.  Dealing with money is a much-neglected skill during these years yet they are the most crucial years to allow as many affordable mistakes as possible. This makes money a prime target for small mistakes now to avoid big mistakes later. If you know someone who can’t manage money as an adult, I’m going to guess their parents didn’t teach them much about it, might have given in to every whim just to keep them happy when they were young.  Hey, that adult might even be you!  

If you listened to my podcast about money for younger kids, you’ll have already heard how to start a small budget for vacations and special events that I call a trinket budget.  We’re going to expand on that concept greatly by including more of the day-to-day expenses our kids encounter, not just vacations and special events.  

With older kids I want to help you introduce money concepts so that by the time they graduate from high school they know about budgeting, credit cards and debt.  I’m even going to show you a way to tie in getting chores done which is such a bonus.  You want to launch a financially responsible child into the world so that you won’t be paying their bills for the rest of your life. 

Here's a transcript of the podcast:  TRANSCRIPT

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

There are things to do at different ages and stages to help introduce money concepts to your kids so that by the time they graduate from high school they know about budgeting, credit cards and debt.   In this podcast, I’ll concentrate on what to do with younger kids, from toddler years up through elementary school using a simple spend-save-share method.

Here's a transcript of the podcast:  TRANSCRIPT

If you'd like to look at the Pinterest board on Kids and Money here's a link for that:  PINTEREST

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

I’ve had quite a few people asking me about chores – how to set them up, do you pay for them, how much do you pay, is allowance tied to chores, do I need chore charts with rewards, what do I do if my kid won’t do their chores.  In this podcast I want to address all those issues and more.  Chores let your kids develop life skills that, if taught well, will launch them into a good place in life.  I’ll start with the research behind why chores are important and then I’ll get into the nitty-gritty of how to implement chores with kids of various ages. 

Go to my website for a full transcript of this podcast:
TRANSCRIPT

Pinterest Board on Kids Chores:
PINTEREST

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this episode I talk about the anger in our homes that gets directed at our children and some ideas for how we can get it under control.  First, I’ll talk about the impact anger has on our families then three ways to help mitigate anger in your home.  Lastly,  I’ll give you some fun and creative ideas about how to repair relationships with your kids.

Here's a link to IdealistMom.com's article on the "Five Hair Ties" solution for getting positive interactions into your home.
https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/angry-mother/

To read a transcript of this entire podcast go to my parentingwithlogic.com website here:
https://www.parentingwithlogic.com/success-stories-blog/podcast-13-anger-managment-for-parents

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

As most parents have noticed screens are a constant source of friction in our households that just never seems to end. 

This podcast is the first of two parts; Part 1 targeting younger families and how to deal with what I call “family screens.” I go over ways we can set up screens in our family in such a way that there are limits with obedience, and if there’s not,  how to set up effective consequences. 

 Although the target audience for Part I is parents with toddlers to middle schoolers there are really fundamental things for all families to set up so it’s best to listen to this before moving on to Part 2 even if you have older kids.  On the flip side, even if you have younger kids I recommend you listen to Part 2 when it comes out so you can prepare for what’s ahead. This issue is super, super difficult, constantly changing, hard to understand and it’s so important for us parents to be on top of this and stay current. 

As I mentioned,  Part 1 is going to deal with what I call “family screens”.  These are the electronics in your house that are family owned – iPads, laptops, tablets, TVs, gaming systems and such that are shared among the family members.  This is usually the stage from toddler until late elementary to middle school when kids start getting their own phones and laptops.  In this podcast I’m going to cover 8 rules for what I think it takes to set up good screen time then in Part 2 I’ll cover my final 5 rules dealing with older kids when individual cell-phones, laptops and other electronics come in to play. 

Learn the 8 rules to follow:
Rule 1: Keep Electronics Out of the Bedroom
Rule 2: Keep Electronics in Public Places
Rule 3: Set Time Limits and Stick to Them
Rule 4: Define Consequences
Rule 5: Use Parental Control Software
Rule 6: Allocate Family Time
Rule 7: Encourage Downtime
Rule 8: Model It!

Here's a link to Bark-O-Matic mentioned in the podcast:
BARK-O-MATIC

For a link to the transcript of this podcast see my blog on my website at:
PODCAST TRANSCRIPT

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this podcast we about how to handle sleep for our tweens and teens and why sleep seems to be so difficult for them biologically and socially.  I want to give you some ideas about how to react and manage both your expectations and theirs regarding this really essential part of their growing years. With the stresses in our environment today the impact of sleep on our mental health and immune system is super important for us to pay attention to so I hope these ideas will smooth out a few issues in your home. 

Some highlights:

• Academic stress is robbing our kids of sleep
• Electonics needs to be managed
• Bedtimes for middle schoolers are fine
• No required bedtimes for high schoolers since we need them to learn how to manage their sleep.  
• Help to have input into their wake-up times instead of when they go to bed
• If they are grumpy in the morning give them empathy and offer to help 
• Plan Special Time with your teen to allow for one-on-one brainstorming about issues
• Most importantly have a relationship with your teen, no yelling or nagging!

Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Food battles are so common in families this podcast is dedicated to giving ideas on how to move from battle to harmony at mealtime. 

Here are some of the items covered:

Family Mealtime Rules

1.     We eat at the table

2.     We don’t have electronics, toys, or  books while we eat 

3.     If a kid can lift a fork on their own, they need to feed themselves 

4.     When someone gets up from the table, they are done eating

I go into detail about how to implement each of these rules.

I also talk about ways to expand the foods that your kids eat by doing the following things:

1. Take the power away from your kids about what they eat.  You have to not care.
2. Don't be anxious about their eating, you being chill will really help and they will settle down over time if there's no medical issues.  Let your pediatrician be the guide.
3. Offer at least one choice on their plates they like.
4. Have a food treasure hunt with your kids in getting them to try new foods.  Even let them spit it out if they don't like it!

Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST

You also might need to use Energy Drain techniques from Love and Logic Institute.  Here is a link to more info about that:
ENERGY DRAIN

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this episode we review a number of different situations where a parent not remembering something allowed their children to become responsible and prove to themselves and their parents that they are capable as well. 

We also learn how being the "Finder" parent in your household isn't as helpful as we think it is.  Finder parents are those parents who know where everything in the house is thus allowing their family members to have a reason to not be responsible for their own stuff.  This unthankful job should be abandoned ASAP since we are robbing our children of the life lessons of what happens when they forget.

Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this episode targeted toward parents of teens we'll learn how to deal with disrespect in our home.  As part of dealing with disrespect we learn what happens to our teens and tweens when they get upset.  We learn about the brain science behind the teen brain that makes maintaining respect in our homes more difficult. 

We discuss the ways in which parents react to disrespect and how it doesn't work. 

We will cover how waiting until the emotional moment has passed and putting up with the disrespect for a while will be the magic weapon we'll use to gain control of respect once again.  Once we are all calm then we will be able to have rational discussions with our teens and get them to put positive energy back into our relationships creating the respect that we're looking for. 

Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Date: 2/25/20
Episode #1 - Helicopter Parenting

Take a look at how to decode this now classic style of parenting -- the Helicopter Parent.  The hovering and nagging are holding our kids back!  Learn why we do this and get hints on what to do about it so you can raise a responsible, respectful child to be an independent and amazing adult.

HOW WE HELICOPTER
- Hovering
- Nagging

2:30min
WHY WE HELICOPTER - three examples
- Forgetting a lunch box: a kid might be hungry
- Not waking up in the morning: a kid might not make it to school
- Contantly checking grades and assignments: a kid might not get all their assignments, projects and grades that they need to be successful in life
We don't trust that our kids can handle life.  Without us they'll fail!

4:45min
HOW HELICOPTERING HARMS OUR KIDS
- Lunchbox kid: learns they can ignore the parents, that if their lunch is forgotten it's not their fault, it's their parent's fault
- Waking up kid: learns if they aren't ready on time then it's their parent's fault
- Grade checking parent: the kid learns they don't have to watch and plan, their parent will do it for them

6:50min
LETTING GO EXAMPLE - let my kid ready on his own
Once I stopped helicoptering my son learned how to plan his own reading schedule.  We did some brainstorming but he owned it!

10:20min
UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES
1 - Self Confidence is undermined.  When we do too much because we don't trust our kids to take care of everything then they start believing that it's true.
2 - Lazy, entitled kids are created.  When we do too much the kids learn that we'll do lots for them just to protect them so they learn they don't have to do things since mom or dad will cover for them. 

12:30min
LET THEM FAIL!
We need to let go!  To give our kids love and empathy as they make mistakes.  Let them forget their lunch or be late for school.  Heaven forbid but let them turn in assignments late or get a bad grade.  They need to know what it feels like to fail so that they'll want to succeed. 

16:00min
The End!

Contact Info:
If you have parenting questions of your own please email me: mary@parentingwithlogic.com.
My website and blog can be found at www.parentingwithlogic.com.

Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST

Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!