piers cross

Today I am speaking with Tony Gammidge about art therapy and the power of creativity in healing trauma. We also take some time to talk about his own boarding school experiences and the work that he does in prison and secure units.

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Tony Gammidge is an Artist, Filmmaker/Animator, trainer and HCPC registered Art Therapist.

He has a particular interest in stories, and personal narrative and in the idea of embodied storymaking (stories that are made by hand as well as told). This is reflected in his own work, films, artist books and installations but also in his participatory work in prisons, secure units, mental health settings and centres for asylum seekers. 

He has made over 30 films with participants in this time. Many of these films have won Koestler awards and been screened in conferences, symposiums and in galleries and museums.

Questions to ask:

1. I would love to start my interview with a little more about you. What drew you into the work that you now do?
2. Could you talk about art therapy please? I found art and creativity to be so healing in my own therapeutic journey. What is it? How has it helped you and your clients?
3. In working in groups of ex-boarding school men I have seen the transformation that story-telling has on the individual and the group. In your opinion, what is the importance of story-telling? What happens when we tell our stories? And what happens to those who hear us speak or perform our personal journeys?
4. Could you please speak about the idea of ‘home’ or its loss (or ambiguous loss), also in contrast the ‘Hostile environment’ (eg Home Office's attitude to refugees)?
5. Could you also please talk about embodied narrative, stories told through the hands and the body. Could you give an example? How does this process of embodied narrative work?
6. How do our early experiences often shape our careers (for you in prisons and with refugees)?
7. I would love you to speak about your animations and the work that you do in secure units and prisons. Would you be able to share a little about Norton Grim? Where did this character come from and how did making the film about him feel?
8. What were your experiences of boarding school like?
9. Could you share some of the healing that has happened in these environments as people have had permission to share their stories?
10. How do people find out more about you?

#tonygammidge #arttherapy #traumaarttherapy

For more information about Tony and the work he does please visit: https://www.tonygammidge.com/

He mentions an interview with Dr Pauline Boss on Ambiguous Loss on the ‘On Being’ website:

https://onbeing.org/programs/pauline-boss-navigating-loss-without-closure/

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I am speaking to the author, Michael Maisey, on my podcast. Michael is an amazing man and has a truly astonishing story. From sexual abuse, violence, drug and alcohol addiction, attempted suicide and being arrested as a teenager for armed robbery and attempted murder Michael spent several years in prison.

On leaving prison Michael continued struggled with alcohol and drug addiction. At age 25 through the support of the AA and the 12 Step Program he gave up alcohol and drugs. He set up a thriving business in real estate and now teaches others through workshops and talks how to transform their lives.

He has been given awards for his work and has appeared as a contestant on Channel Four's show with Ant Middleton, SAS, Who Dares Win, Season 4.

Today we talk about his journey and the tools he has used to transform his life and those of thousands of others. He talks about what it is to be a man, how to transform even the most horrific abuse and how we support the young people who are struggling with crime and addictions.

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Michael is the Author of the Best-Selling Book 'Young Offender'. He has been sober for 14 years and since his release from prison in 2001 he has been on a journey practicing healing and self-development on himself to improve his life and heal the wounds from his own childhood. He went from a child from an underprivileged background, with zero qualifications to being in a position to retire at the age of 35. 

He works with all the tools which he has found to be most beneficial. He brings these tools together to help others reach their full potential and help them to step up and let their own light shine. His core belief is about 100% accountability, giving back, and transforming the lives of others from all walks of life.​

Some questions for Michael:

1. I would love for you to share some of your incredible journey. What was the path that led you to do the work that you now do with men, women and teenagers?
2. Importance of role models: Looking back at your own life, what do you feel is the importance of having benevolent older role models in your life, especially as a teenager? 
3. If your child is struggling:You mention the first time you are arrested the policeman coming to your house. And then the chief superintendent giving you a talking down when you were arrested for armed robbery. Their tactics didn't seem to work for you. What do you feel would have worked for you? And for those who have kids who are getting wayward what is the best way of talking to them?
4. Giving up addictions: How important was the support of the 12-step program and your sponsors of Sean, and Matt. What else could you share about the journey of healing your addictions?
5. What do you feel needs to happen in prison to rehabilitate people? How do we change the current system?
6. How do people find out more about your work?

#michaelmaisey #youngoffender #overcomingaddictions

To find out more about Michael's w

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

An Evolving Man (AEM) #27   Rod Boothroyd   Magician Archetype   Trickster Safety Officer

Rod Boothroyd is a counsellor, psychotherapist, a certified “Healing The Shadow” practitioner and the author of the book Warrior, Magician, Lover, King – a guide to the male archetypes updated for the 21st century.

Today on the podcast I am welcoming back Rod Boothroyd to go deeper into the archetype of the Magician. 

The Magician is the part of us that is responsible for thinking, for analysing and for planning things out. The Magician is the part of us responsible for the mental side of our lives. 

Today Rod explores deeper into the subject of the Magician. What are the positive aspects and what are the shadows? How do we connect to this energy in a benevolent way? 

He works with men, women and mixed groups to heal the wounds of childhood with Marianne Hill and also trains people in the art of working with the shadow and healing emotional wounds.

Some of the questions that Rod answers are: 

1. What is the Magician archetype?
2. What makes a balanced and mature Magician?
3. What are the shadows of the archetypes?
4. What are the specific shadows of the Magician archetype?
5. I would love you to speak more about the Safety Officer. What is this aspect and how does it show up in our lives?
6. What would you say is the key emotion of the Magician and why does it help to face this emotion?
7. What about the trickster? In some cultures the Trickster is seen as a gift. Is the Trickster only negative or does it have positive qualities?
8. I see that people who are in the Magician shadow often disassociate. What have you found has really helped people to come back into their bodies?
9. How do we cultivate the Magician - what are the steps that we can take to embody the Magician?
10. How do we find Sacred Time for the Magician? How important is this?
11. How to heal the Magician shadow
12. How to connect to your work? 

#kingwarriormagicianlover #magicianarchetype #rodboothroyd 

Books:

Rod Boothroyd: Warrior Magician Lover King; A Guide to the Male Archetypes Updated for the 21st Century

Josh Waitzkin: The Art of Learning

Bill Kauth: A Circle Of Men; The Original Manual For Men's Groups

Pete Walker: Complex PTSD

Robert Moore: The Archetype of Initiation

Training as a shadow work practitioner:

https://www.htsorganisation.co.uk

Group healing and self development work:

Men:

https://www.strongfreemen.co.uk

https://www.menwithoutmasks.com

https://www.thecipproject.com

https://mankindprojectuki.org/

h

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I am speaking with Dick Moore on my podcast. We talk about with the current mental health crisis in schools and with young people. We talk about suicide, self-harming and the pressure that young people are under. What can we do?

Dick Moore has worked as an English teacher, rugby coach, boarding school housemaster and, for over twenty years, the headmaster of a co-educational day and boarding school.

He has a passionate interest in adolescent development and emotional wellbeing. He qualified as a Youth Mental Health First Aid Instructor in 2012 and joined the Charlie Waller Trust in 2012. He has also attended an ASIST Suicide Intervention course.

Dick now travels the country giving talks to teachers, young people and parents to help raise awareness of mental health issues.

I  would like for you to talk further about some of the following subjects:

1. Can you share a little about your own journey? What drew you into doing the work that you now do regarding mental health?
2. I would be really interested to hear you speak about suicide and suicide ideation. Why is this such a problem at the moment especially with young people? And especially young males?
3. The pressure young people are under. Do you feel that young people are under more pressure now than in our day, especially after the last 2 years? Why is this? What can we as adults support them? What can young people do to manage and handle this pressure better? 
4. I would love for you to speak a little about mental health in boarding schools. In your opinion, is there more pressure in a boarding school environment than a day school? One of my friends committed suicide while I was at boarding school. I saw the amount of pressure the boy was under and the lack of support. Has this changed since our day at boarding school?
5. Could you speak a little on male and female emotional honesty please? Do you feel that this has developed over the years or not?
6. I would love you to speak on the whole area of discrimination - in all walks of life…families, schools, friendships, businesses, race, creed, gender etc. etc.
7. How do we better support the young people? Especially in boarding schools where the houseparents are often under so much pressure. Is there something that we can set up in schools? In your experience what do you feel would work?
8. How do people learn more about what you do or reach out to you?

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthchildren #boardingschool

For more information about Dick's work and to invite him to speak at your school please visit:https://www.dickmoore.org/

To find out more about the Charlie Waller Trust: https://charliewaller.org/

A PDF spreadsheet about mental health: https://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/b5791d_58764f25

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I am delighted to be speaking with Rod Boothroyd again on An Evolving Man Podcast. 

Rod is speaking in more depth about the Warrior Archetype - what it is and some of the shadow aspects of it. He also talks about some of the ways to connect and cultivate the mature masculine archetype of the Warrior. 

For those who have been drawn to my work through boarding school syndrome then I recommend a listen to this series. 

Often at boarding school we were not taught what it was to be a man or woman. We were guided by other children so we became children in adult's bodies.

In the following podcast Rod outlines what it is to be in connection with the Warrior archetype. That part of us that acts, and has boundaries. What is it to be a mature adult? 

Some of the questions Rod answers are:

1. What is the Warrior archetype?
2. What makes a balanced and mature Warrior?
3. What are the shadows of Sadist and Masochist?
4. How do we cultivate the Warrior - what are the steps that we can take to embody the Warrior?
5. What happens when the warrior is (feels) defeated..
6.  How to keep the Warrior's abilities/'weapons' in the best shape for when they're needed; 
7.  How to effectively lead and support others to develop a stronger Warrior. 
8. Talk about the Immature forms of the Hero - what is the difference between the Hero and the Warrior. And what are the traits of the Grandstanding Bully and the Coward?
9. How to heal the Warrior shadow
10. Who are your Warrior heroes/ heroines?
11. Rod's interpretation of initiation and why ancient initiation was so brutal. 
12. How to connect to your work? 

Books:

Rod Boothroyd: Warrior Magician Lover King; A Guide to the Male Archetypes Updated for the 21st Century

Josh Waitzkin: The Art of Learning

Bill Kauth: A Circle Of Men; The Original Manual For Men's Groups

Pete Walker: Complex PTSD

Training as an emotional process work practitioner:

https://www.htsorganisation.co.uk

Group healing and self development work:

Men:

https://www.strongfreemen.co.uk

https://www.menwithoutmasks.com

https://mankindprojectuki.org/

https://illuman.org

Men and women:

https://www.celebrationofbeing.co.uk/

https://healingtheshadow.co.uk/

 #warriorarchetype #kingwarriormagicianlover #rodboothroyd --- 

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I speak with Nick Duffell who is one of the leading experts in the field of boarding school trauma about intimate relationships, disassciation and homesickness.

Nick Duffell is a psychotherapist and trainer in private practice who pioneered therapeutic work with ex-boarders and specialist training for psychotherapists. He is the author of The Making of Them, Trauma Abandonment and Privilege and Wounded Leaders.

Here are some of the questions I asked him:

1. I would love you to share your own journey of boarding school and what drew you into the work that you now do?

2. “How hard is it to believe even that boarding school harmed you? Because usually the ex boarders don't realize or accept what harm and trauma they suffered during boarding.”

3. I would love you to speak more about the Strategic Survival Personality. Do you feel that we as ex-boarders who were compliers have to become rebels in order to heal?

4. “please kindly speak on homesickness in detail. Because for me this experience was so extreme and dreadful. My hair turned grey at the age of 13. I missed my familiar environment so intensely.”

5. I went to a rural boarding school from age 11 to 18. An extremely isolated and traumatic experience where survival strategy meant I couldn't develop socially or emotionally and which left me utterly unprepared for real life. I feel like the pause button in my life was pressed for 7 years just so I could survive the experience. In many ways I still feel like that 11 year old. Completely lost and adrift. The loss of family, childhood and self is so huge it has shaped everything about me. How can we ever fix ourselves when we have missed out on such key developmental foundations? When we have neglected and lost ourselves so completely? One thing I realise is that we really did miss out on key things we needed..and also that we don't realise what we should have or be because we never had it.. 

6. Many of the ex-boarders I know really struggle in intimate relationships. What do you advise ex-boarders to help them to start to cultivate open, loving and happy relationships?

7. A common trait as ex-boarders seems to be around disassociation. What can we start to do to stop the splitting and connecting again with our feelings – both happy and sad?

8. How do we change the system and bring healing to boarding schools?

9. How do people find out more about your work and your offerings?

For more information please visit:

https://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/

And for one of Nick's upcoming events: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/opus-study-day-boarding-school-and-society-tickets-159661599141

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. 

To p

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

AEM Podcast #20 Chukumeka "Chukes" Maxwell - Suicide Awareness & Prevention - What Can You Do For Yourself & Other To Help Prevent Suicide?

Today on my An Evolving Man Podcast I speak with Chukumeka "Chukes" Maxwell about suicide awareness and prevention.

We explore what you can do if you are feeling suicidal and we also go into some depth what you can do if someone you know or love is showing suicidal tendencies.

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Chukes is the founder of Action To Prevent Suicide CIC - a Devon based non-profit dedicated to raising funds for community-based programs focused on suicide prevention.

Born in London, to African and Caribbean parents, Chuke’s family emigrated back to Nigeria in 1965 but Chukumeka was then evacuated to the UK in 1967 as a refugee from the Biafran civil war. He has have also lived in Jamaica and Belize. Chukes has had a very eclectic working life, from training in the hotel industry after school to opening an award-winning delicatessen and later his own catering company, then re-training as a holistic deep tissue massage therapist and later as a registered Social worker.

A part-time lecturer at the University of Plymouth, Chukumeka is now also a suicide prevention trainer specializing in LivingWorks programs, Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Trainer (ASIST) and safeTALK.

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Some of the questions Chukes answers and subjects he speaks about are:

- What was your boarding school Christ's Hospital like in the 70

- We talk about how we were at the same school and the importance of speaking and bringing things to light

- Chukes speaks about what drew him into suicide awareness and prevention work.

- He talks about some of the toools that you can use if you are feeling suicidal

- What is the advise he can give you if your loved ones are feeling suicidal or showing signs of depression?

- Does he advise different approaches for children and adults regarding suicidal thoughts?

- He also speaks about the imporance of how to stay calm when in the company of a suicidal person.

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In order to learn more or support Chukes' work please visit: https://www.goodwillatps.org.uk/

He is currently looking at raising £1.5 million to set up a suicide prevention centre in Devon so please do support.

#suicide prevention #suicide awareness #christ's hospital

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Contact Details If You Are Feeling Suicidal:

The phone number to call in the UK if you are feeling suicidal is:

Samaritans: 116123

Website Hub of Hope: https://hubofhope.co.uk/

For more numbers of contact globally: https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide/

Hub of Hope App: Apple: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/hub-of-hope/id1337090866

Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.chasingthestigma.hubofhope&hl=en&gl=gb

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

On today's podcast I am speaking with the award winning author, James Harpur about his new collection of poetry called The Examined Life.

In this episode James reads from his poetry book some of the poems which detail what life was like for him at boarding school in the 1970s.

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James Harpur is an award winning poet who has had six poetry collections published by Carcanet and Anvil Press. He is also a member of Aosdana, the Irish academy of arts.

The awards he has won include: the Vincent Buckley Prize, a Patrick and Katherine Kavanagh Fellowship, and the UK National Poetry Competition.

His work has appeared in the national press, including The Irish Times, The Spectator, The Guardian, The Financial Times, and The Independent.

His books include The White Silhouette (2018), an Irish Times Book of the Year, Angels and Harvesters (2012), which was a PBS Recommendation and shortlisted for the 2013 Irish Times Award; and The Dark Age (2007) which won the Michael Hartnett Poetry Prize.

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Here are some of the topics and poems that James talks about:

1 Introduction. 00.0

How James came to write his book as an account of his ‘tribe’. 

2Why boarding school? 7.45

Why did James’s parents send him to one? 

Poem: ‘Separation’

3. Homesickness. 15.30

First few weeks at school and the change from family life. 

Poem: ‘The Payphone Trap’

4 Family Situation. 24.25

James’s parents splitting up at the start of his school career.

Poem: ‘Telemachus’

5 Boarding School challenges. 35.00

James as an introvert in relentless public space; dormitories; prefects, etc.

Poems: ‘Middle Dormitory: Passover’ & ‘Senior Dormitory: Faust’

6. Positive aspects of school. 47.30

Camaraderie, influence of good masters …

Poem: ‘Senior Dormitory: Monday Morning’

7 Under Pressure. 57.15

Different types of pressure, e.g exams. James’s ‘breakdown’ … 

Poem: ‘The Active Voice’

8. Boarding School in the 1970s. 1.07.30

Early 1970s still in the hippie era, but also industrial strife and the Troubles – what was that like?

PP: ‘Uniform’

9. The Feminine Principle. 1.16.01 

School was almost entirely an all-boys’ school with an absence of the feminine.

PP: ‘Sex Education: ‘Terra Incognita’

 In order to purchase James' book: :

https://tworiverspress.com/shop/the-examined-life/

Reviews for book:

The Examined Life

‘Insanely courageous.’ The Spectator

'Beautifully crafted and searingly honest.’ Dublin Review of Books

‘Haunted and haunting …’ The Irish Times

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

#16 Simon Partridge - Upper Class Complex Trauma Condition (UCCTC) - AEM Podcast - Boarding School Trauma 

In today's podcast I have a fascinating conversation with Simon Partridge about UCCTC.

Simon comes from a partly French post-colonial background in India. His half-French grandfather went to Eton. Simon Partridge was sent to weekly board in 1954 at 6 and to full board from 7-17. He was sent to his father’s public school Eastbourne College in 1960, where he failed to follow in his footsteps… 

Apart from a short time at the doomed Greater London Council (1984-86) developing community radio he has been an itinerant writer/researcher covering: devolved politics; the British-Irish conflict; ethno-cultural mingling across the islands of Britain and Ireland; the psycho-neurobiological consequences of detached upper-class child rearing and boarding schools; inter-generational war trauma; and more latterly Complex-PTSD and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). He is a founding director of the London ACEs Hub - https://www.londonaceshub.org/ . He continues to explore and write, from lived experience, about the linkage between early attachment deficits and ACEs.
Email: simonpartridge846@btinternet.com

Questions:

1. I would love you to share some of your own journey at boarding school and your own healing journey. What triggered your journey into exploring boarding school trauma?


2. I would love you to talk about the difference between boarding school syndrome and upper class complex trauma condition (UCCTC)?


3. Does social background effect how one is effected by BS and is it a cause of bullying?


4. “I'm interested in the generational traumas, generations of generals and admirals, all following in the footsteps of those who came before. And how these familial traumas over a long time have influenced their descendants' behaviours now?”


5. “And I'm interested in knowing about HOW some of those descendants have changed their views/behaviours, e.g. taking a different stand as a Conscientious Objector or otherwise.”

6. “Defining what the categories of Social class and SES seems to have evolved over recent decades, so I'm wondering how that shapes Simon's lens?”

7. “The phenomenon of father who went to boarding school sending son to bs, and so on through generations, as well as both parents supporting both boys and girls 'going away' to boarding school is interesting enough. When we know that those fathers and mothers had a tough time at bs one can't help but wonder why they would send their children with any chance that they might also suffer. Understanding the rationale within a class context is something that Simon probably grasps more than anyone. Would it be factors such as beliefs in either the social or educational goals of a bs education that would shout louder than their suffering, or would they rationalize that things would change for the next generation? Do they think that bs provides a necessary toughen

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 In today's podcast I am talking to Francis Michael Eliot about the boarding school Eton. 

We talk about what his experience were of Eton and how it impacted him. 

He also shares some insights into how he feels Eton might have impacted the current leaders in the UK by their boarding school education. 

Here are some of the questions that I ask him (he doesn't answer all in depth): 

1. I would love you to share a little about your own boarding school journey. How was it for you? 
2. Could you speak about class, prejudice, and 'what it was like to be an Etonian out in the world' 
3. "Three people I know thought the education was good but were all very unhappy. Was he unhappy? If so why? What would have made it better?" 
4. Or was he happy? What made him happy? 
5. What was best, what was worst about it? 
6. Did having his own room from the beginning (as I think they do) mean he had his own space? Or was it invaded? 
7. 'Boarding school survivors have lived a life very detached from that which most people call 'real life'. Is it possible for the leaders of today, coming from this damaged background, to even understand the society and people they stand for? Should they be required to undergo mental health/therapeutic screening, as the clergy are required to, prior to taking up public office?' 
8. Did his father go to Eton? Did his father go to public school? Did his mother go to boarding school? Does Eton en-culture a sense of superior entitlement? 
9. Is Johnson a typical product? 
10. Was he bullied? 
11. Was there discrimination by staff or boys on the basis of race, sexual orientation, wealth or class? 
12. Was there fagging while you were there? If so how do you feel it impacted the younger boys? 
13. Has he sent a son there? If he can’t afford it, would he send a son there if he could? If so, why, if not, why not? 
14. Did he attend a boarding prep before Eton? What age did he go, if so? 
15. What has Eton given him? What are the downsides? 
16. What have you found has really helped you to heal from the trauma of boarding school syndrome? 

Francis Eliot is a 5Rhythms movement meditation teacher, a non-duality facilitator, and an active father to his two school age sons. He also facilitates deep process men's work. Along with his partner he's recently acquired the historic old ashram in Glastonbury where they will soon be establishing a centre for healing through the creative arts. He's spent decades in the spiritual arena studying with various teachers, and offers us an interesting and inspiring perspective on his life as an Old Etonian. 

For more information about his work: http://awakenedpresence.org/ And for his YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQMzbte1_4g2w3L54lb0ysQ 

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 Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups, retreats and a podcast call

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

#12 - Simon Hinkly   Growing Elders and Discovering Purpose -  Cultivating Wisdom As You Age

 Today I am speaking with Simon Hinkly about eldership, older vs elder and what is to cultivate wisdom in our elder years. 

Simon used to be a film producer and spent 50 years in the film industry. 

He now works as a mentor and still dreams of writing the perfect screenplay. He's been in the Mankind Project (MKP) since 2003 where his mission is to grow elders. 

He has also been the Chairman of the International Council of Elders for the Mankind Project. 

Some of the questions and topics we explored today were:

 - What began you on your journey of wanting to understand more about eldership? 
- I would love to hear you speak about being an elder and purpose. One man in his 70s said that since he has reached retirement he has struggled with feeling like he has a purpose. How does he rekindle that again? 
- I would love you to speak about the relationship to the King archetype and being elder?
 - What does being an elder look like? What is an elder's role? Do we need to be over a certain age? How do we cultivate eldership?
- How do we cultivate wisdom? - Robert Bly says that the older men need to be there for the younger generation. How? Many men don't know where to start.
 - What is initiation from an elder's perspective? 
- How do we support the younger men and women to be initiated?

 For more information: The Mankind Project UK: https://mankindprojectuki.org/ The MKP New Warrior Training: https://mankindprojectuki.org/the-new-warrior-training-adventure #eldership #mankindproject #mkp #purpose --- An Evolving Man Podcast is a series of interviews where I talk with leaders in the fields of masculine psychology, trauma and boarding school issues. 

--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

In today's podcast I am interviewing Alex Renton who is the author of the book Stiff Upper Lip and producer of the ITV documentary Secret Shame about child abuse at boarding school.

Alex is a writer and journalist whose career has ranged from arts and food writing to politics and the investigation of child abuse. His career as a war reporter and development worker took him to the Middle East, Africa, East Asia and the Balkans. He has worked for The Independent, The Times, Newsweek, and the London Evening Standard and contributed to a host of other newspapers and magazines. He is also the author of the e-book Planet Carnivore: how cheap meat costs the earth (Guardian Shorts, 2015).

Alex has won many awards for his work in investigative journalism, conflict and development reporting and for food writing, including the One World Award and the Glenfiddich Trophy.

Born in Canada, educated in English boarding schools and at Exeter University, Alex now lives in Edinburgh with his wife, son and daughter.

Here are some of the questions that I asked him:

1. I would love for you to share your own boarding school journey and how things changed for you in 2013 with the article you read about child abuse at the boarding school you attended?
   
   
   
2. What are some of the insights that you have had from publicly sharing your journey? Have people in the main been critical or supportive of you?
   
   
   
3. I would love to hear what you have found out re boarding school and complex trauma. I am hearing people talk about PTSD and boarding school syndrome. What is your sense of this analysis?
   
   
   
4. What do you see are some of the main issues that we as ex-boarders present? e.g. relationship problems, emotionally shut down etc. 
   
   
5. My work is in helping people to heal from boarding school wounds. I would love to hear what you have found has helped others in the stories that you have heard? What has worked for you?
   
   
   
6. I love in your book how you talk about initiation (P.41). I would love to speak a little about how boarding school could be seen as an initiation – although not a healthy one. What could we do instead to help initiate boys and girls?
   
   
   
7. What is your vision for the future re boarding schools. Can we change the system? If so how do you feel we can change the system? Can we stop early boarding? What is the future of BS?
   
   
   
8. What are you doing next? How do people get in touch with you or get your book?

Alex also shared about the IICSA and said the following: “I think if we are going to get results out of it for children in residential care, in terms of solid safeguarding protocols and hard law to protect them and the whistleblowers, it will be largely because of Tom Perry's tireless work with mandatenow.org.uk

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

On today's podcast I am joined by the international teacher Darren Deojee where we talk about gender differences, how men relate differently to the world than women and how we as men move from boy to man.

Darren is a fascinating person to talk to. He is very eloquent and I love his ideas. Here we explore the difference between masculine and feminine from the Toltec tradition which is similar teachings to that of Carlos Castaneda.

Darren Christopher Deojee is an international teacher, speaker, activist, mentor/coach, father, and home educator of four children. He’s been teaching from the Toltec heritage of gender tradition for over 10 years and working with native gender for over 20 years. He works with groups, individuals, and couples on matters of gender and communication. 

Some of the question that I asked Darren were as follows:

1. What drew you to get interested in men's work?
2. In your opinion what is the difference between the masculine and feminine?
3. In some of your talks you talk about men's relationship to their balls. Can you explain more about that? Also how do we as men get our balls back?
4. I am fascinated by your own journey of feeling more feminine as a boy and how you became more connected with the inner man? For those men who feel the same what do you recommend that they do to connect more with that masculine core?
5. I love your analogy with the wild man. How do we connect to the wild man?
6. I am also interested in your opinion around fear – I see that many men are paralysed by fear – what's really worked for you or the men you work with for moving through fear?
7. I see that the world is at crossroads – how do you see men's roles in the coming weeks, months and years for stewarding a new, benevolent world for our children?
8. Can you share what it is that you offer men? How do people get in touch with you?

In order to learn more about his work please visit: https://www.darrendeojee.com

And for some of the other videos then please search YouTube looking for Darren Deojee or visiting his YT page here: 

https://www.youtube.com/user/AlternativeAnswers

And his public Facebook page here:

https://www.facebook.com/christopherdeojee/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 In today's Podcast I talk with the founder of Trackways, Thomas Schorr-Kon, the UKs first nature connection, bushcraft and survival school. 

In this episode we talk about Thomas' own journey of connecting to the teachings of Tom Brown Jr, the tracker who inspired the film The Tracker. 

Thomas talks about how he learned to feel that wherever he stood on the planet that he was home. 

Today he shares some teachings about the Warrior and the Magician/ the Shaman. Where do the Warrior and the Shaman meet? 

Some questions that he answers and poses are: 
- What is the most important thing that Tom Brown Jr learned that he shared with his students 
- The importance of Rites of Passage 
- How to move out of judging others and judgments 
- Why inquiry and not believing what others teach us is so important 
- How to move through fear 
- How to become more present and have greater awareness in life 
- Why we need to bring more curiosity in our lives

For Thomas' book please visit here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/True-Nature-CONNECTING-ILLUSION-SEPARATION/dp/1790581168/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=thomas+schorr&qid=1590679997&sr=8-1 

For his website: https://www.trackways.co.uk/ 

To email Thomas info@trackways.co.uk 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/