postcoronavirus

Was it Fun Playing Along?

#122: Raise Your Standards Not Your Expectations

In this Monday mindset episode, I am sharing the lessons I learned this past week.  There is a very specific distinction between standards and expectations.  One is based on fact and one is based on fiction.  I have always been one to set very high expectations for myself, and as a person who has always been driven and pushes towards goals, I am learning to let go of or shift the meaning of expectations.  In the weeks following isolation and physical distancing of coronavirus, I went full speed ahead into my online business, only to realize I was setting ridiculous expectations for myself.   Instead I had to learn to understand what my standards were and to raise them accordingly.  I promise I am always learning and always a work in progress.

 

In this episode, we discuss:

1. A standard is a fact. It is a level of quality that is accepted by the norm.  Standards are based on our current needs, what we are doing, the actions we are taking, and the environment that we are surrounding ourselves with.  These are the standards we choose to live with in our life. 
2. An expectation is a strong belief that something is going to happen in the future. It is fictional and based on our internal beliefs of what we think we should be attaining. As soon as the word should is part of the sentence, seriously run.  It is time to shift away from “should’ing” on ourselves. Expectations are based on beliefs, our willpower, our biased premonitions and tend to lead to anger, frustration, resentment and disappointment. Our expectations don’t always align with our personal needs.
3. In order to create change, we must focus on raising our standards. One example of standards is our environment and who we choose to surround ourselves with.  As Jim Rohn said, “we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with”.  If we want to create change we must raise our standards of the people we choose to surround ourselves with.
4. As Lori Harder said, “our environment will always be stronger than our willpower”. We must raise our standards for our environment as this will always take us further than expectations any day.
5. Looking at where we can raise our standards in our life in such areas as self-care, owning our choices, setting our sights on our new normal. We are not going back to normal, we are creating a new normal by raising our standards.

 

Reference: Standards vs. Expectations: Why you need to know the difference in the workplace, Medium.com, Dec 12, 2017

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About me –

Marsha Vanwynsberghe — Author, Speaker and Life Coach

Marsha is the 6-time Bestselling Author of “When She Stopped Asking Why”.  She shares her lessons as a parent who dealt with teen substance abuse far past the level of normal experimentation.

Through her programs, coaching and live events for women, Marsha is on a mission to teach you how to “Own Your Choices” in your own life.  She teaches women how to own their stories, lead themselves and pay it forward to others by creating businesses that serve, support and impact others