The Goonies
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The Goonies
Directed by: Richard Donner
Screenplay by Chris Columbus, based on a story by executive producer Steven Spielberg
Starring:
Sean Astin
Josh Brolin
Jeff Cohen
Corey Feldman
Kerri Green
Martha Plimpton
Ke Huy Quan
Released June 7th, 1985
Budget: $19M ($48M 2021)
Box Office: $124M ($313.1M 2021) worldwide
Ratings: IMDb 7.8/10 Rotten Tomatoes 76%
Metacritic 62% Google Users 90%
In 2017, the film was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant"
First time you saw the movie?
Plot:
The film opens in prison with one of the Fratelli brothers faking his own suicide; meanwhile, momma and the other brother are waiting outside. They take off in a jeep and are involved in a high speed pursuit. As they chase them through town, we're slowly introduced to the other characters, Andy, Mouth, Chunk, Stef, Data. Eventually reaching a beach and a 4x4 race. It fades to the Walshs house, and Mikey complaining about nothing ever happening. Mouth arrives at the house and makes some random Rocky references, and makes fun of Young Thanos, I mean Brand not passing his driving exam, on their last weekend together. Chunk arrives, and has to do the truffle shuffle before waiting on a Rube Goldberg machine to open the gate... Which is dumb. Esp the part with the chicken. Can't scare a chicken to lay an egg. Data ziplines over, ends up causing Chunk to break the statue of Davids dick off. Mrs. Walsh comes home with Rosalita to help pack their house, and she enlists Mouth to translate into Spanish, which he does, but with the wrong information. The kids go into the attic and go through whatever stuff is there, with an immediate thunder storm that somehow popped up. Mikey finds a map and they recount the legend of One Eye Willy... Which is the same story I told in college about my one eyed willy. They then find an article about Chester Copperpot, who claimed to have a key to the treasure. Mikey proposes finding the treasure so they don't have to leave the Goondocks. They tie up Brand and go off to try and follow the treasure map... Thankfully that popup thunderstorm, that served no purpose, has passed. Brand escapes, and borrows a neighbor girls bike, and is then sent over a cliff when Troy in a mustang grabs onto him, and takes off. The boys follow the instructions to an abandoned restaurant, but it turns out the Fratellis are in the restaurant, too. They catch the boys, and mess with them, but Mikey keeps trying to search for the treasure, when Mikey hears something and finds one fo the brothers trying to feed a disfigured person... As he runs back upstairs, Brand grabs him, carries him out with momma Fratelli closing the door behind them, declaring "kids suck."
S:
-How did Corey Feldman turn out so fucked up, and Sean Astin seems pretty normal.
-How do you fail your driving test? I backed into a trash can and still passed.
-For Chunk to be so paranoid outside the restaurant, why does he just go walking around by himself?
-Momma Fratelli is 56 years old... Jesus. Rough looking.
After watching the Fratellis load "restaurant trash" into their jeep, Mike convinces everyone to stay and keep following the map. Andy and Steph show up, scaring the group, telling them they followed them. Andy abandoned Troy and now seems she wants to get with Brand... In the restaurant, they move down stairs and sneak a peak at the disfigured person...and Andy and Brand are just trying to get their fuck on... Like, constantly. In the hall, in the room the fall in. Chunk breaks a water cooler bottle, and they can hear the water running down somewhere... oh wait, that's just Andys panties around Brand. Anyway, as they look below the fireplace, Data turns on printing press thats making counterfeit money. Chunk smells ice cream, and they find a body in the freezer. The the Fratellis come back, so they load the body back in the freezer, with Chunk behind it. The rest of them escape under the fireplace. Chunk finally escapes to get the police, as the group descends into the tunnel... Chunk flags down a car, that turns out to be the Fratellis and is captured. The group find pipes, and try to bang on them to get help, but it messes up the pressure at the Astoria country club, sending Troy through the ceiling on the toilet... Which I felt like I could've done a few weeks ago, human liquid rocket. Chunk starts spilling his guts about everything... A few years from then, he'd probably end up telling them some fucked up jerk off stories. The group finds a skeleton they determine to be Chester Copperpot, crushed by a trap set by MY one eyed Willy... or the one eyed willy... Whichever. While checking the body, Mikey accidentally sets off the trap that killed Copperpot. As they escape, they release some bats, that then escape to the Fratellis hide out, proving to them Chunk told the truth where everyone else went. The group comes to a waterfall with, what they think is the treasure, but it turns out to be the wishing well. Mouth then takes his wish back. Above, Troy is shown making a wish to "make it" with Andy. Chunk is put in the room with the Fratellis third brother as they go down below the fireplace. Mike gives a super compelling speech, and they decide to keep going, meanwhile, Chunk starts to make a connection to Sloth with a baby ruth.
S:
-This movie moves pretty fast.
-How did the one stone drop and kill Copperpot, but not the others?
-In the wishing well, where did the waterfall come from?
-Sloth wearing the Raiders shirt, John Matuszak played for the Raiders.
The Goonies continue moving forward, using the key they found, and set off another trap, which Data almost falls to his death. Chunk finally calls the police, but Sloth takes off after everyone down below the fireplace. The group splits up to use the bathroom; Andy calls to Brand, who sends Mikey and Andy unknowingly kisses him... Very similar to how Tucker lost his virginity to his Uncle in the bathroom. The Fratellis are catching up to the kids... They arrive to a log over a river/creek as they make their way across and find themselves in a room with a bone organ... Heh heh. Bone organ. The Fratellis try to cross the bridge, and slip and rack their nuts. As Andy starts to play the organ... and not Brands for a change... The floor is shown to be a fall away floor if they get a note wrong... but a door opens as they get the right one... They eventually escape down a water slide in to a large cave with a ship WAY bigger than my one eyed willy needs... But I'm not complaining... or compensating like Tucker and his F150. They climb aboard and start investigating, looking for the treasure. In the armory, Mikey is pushed through a trap door into the captains room, and he finally talks to the REAL one eyed willy... which if it were mine, it would probably be a felony now considering his age. Mikey has an emotional moment with his one eyed Willy, which everyone sees and it's awkward for a minute... but they move on to start taking the treasure when the Fratellis show up and capture them. As they're making the kids walk the plank, Chunk and Sloth show up and save the kids. As they swim to safety, Sloth fights with his brothers...Andy and Brand finally kiss, which lucky for her she's already in water, so no need to sandbag around her. Momma Fratelli tries to sooth Sloth, which backfires, and he throws her off the plank. The kids abandon the treasure to escape, and the Fratellis continue to fight each other, but go to find the gold. Momma Fratelli then thanks the Willy... Which every woman should do after being satisfied by a willy. The kids start a cave in using dynamite to escape, but Sloth helps them. One of Willies last booby traps is set off, pulling up the anchor on the ship... as the Goonies emerge from the cave, they're found by police, and all the parents come to get them on the beach. Joyous reunions all around. Mouth and Steph have a moment... Andy gives Mikey some shade, something about "parts that dont work so well" bc apparently he didn't get a hard on when kissing her earlier? Was she expecting a pocket rocket digging into her thigh? The Fratellis then emerge, and the Goonies all go to defend Sloth. Troys dad then starts to make Mikeys dad sign paperwork to sell their house, Rosalita finds Mikes bag with really fake, plastic jewels, which leads his dad to tear the contract up. As the Goonies are talking to the media, the pirate ship comes sailing out of the cave... They all watch, and Mike thanks the Willy... Cue credits.
S:
-What is holding up the floor in the organ room? How does it know what/how to drop the floor? Yay movie magic.
-If the Fratellis were real, all of those kids would've been dead LONG ago. Gotta love the 80's trope of the 'good' bad guys.
-It's cool that they really built the set... they didn't let the kids see it until they filmed it, to get a genuine reaction.
-I wonder if John Matuszak got tired of "HEY YOU GUYS" or if he knew it would be as big as it is/was.
-You'd think a 300+ year old boat may have a few leaks, rot, or not be totally sea worthy.
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