small talk

Here at Interview Boss, we believe preparation goes a long way in helping to combat nerves - and yes, you can even prep your small talk!

We can almost guarantee you'll need to engage in some surface level conversation before your interview, whether it's when you're being walked through the building to the meeting room or while you're waiting for someone else to join a zoom call. It might sound lame, but knowing what you're going to say ahead of time, can free up your mental load. Plus, interviews can already feel awkward enough without having to come up with small talk on the spot!

In this week's episode, Sarah and Emma share their favourite go-to small talk topics to inspire you to come up with your own!

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"I can't tell you how much this podcast has shaped my career. I started listening to the pod while working as a receptionist at a job I hated. Your podcast helped me move from that dead-end job to a legal position, inspiring me to attend law school. I am happy to announce that using my "best bits" I just landed my first job as a law clerk at an immigration firm! I never thought I would be in this position. I am the first in my family to attend grad school and am now involved in work I am passionate about. Your words of encouragement allowed me to dream bigger and present my best self. THANK YOU! Megan Oregon USA."

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Episodes For Your Situation

Even if you don’t think you’re a natural, anyone can become proficient at the art of small talk by utilizing the right tactics and behaviors. In this collaboration with Harvard Business Review, strategic communications lecturer Matt Abrahams shares his tips and techniques for cocktail party chit chat, networking small talk, and holiday dinner-table conversation.

Watch the full video on HBR's YouTube channel.

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If making small talk makes someone anxious, it may just be because they have a fear of such interactions, and my guest today, Rich Gallagher, can help them overcome it through his practice as a therapist. Or, someone’s anxiety around small talk can be based in part on simply not knowing how to do it, and in that case, Rich helps them by teaching them the mechanics of conversation, which he shares in his book Stress-Free Small Talk, as well as on today’s show.

Rich and I begin our conversation with how small talk is important as an on-ramp to bigger things, how it’s a skill that can be developed like any other, and how learning its mechanics can dampen the anxiety you feel about taking part in it. We then turn to these mechanics of making comfortable and effective small talk, including doing prep work, embracing tried-and-true openers, and avoiding talking too much yourself. We also discuss how to join conversations that are already underway, manage committing a faux pas, acknowledge others to build connection, and end a conversation gracefully. We end our conversation with small talk strategies for first dates and job interviews, and what to do when you go to a party where you only know the host.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Related AoM articles on small talk/social skills:
  • How to Make Small Talk
  • Series on overcoming shyness
  • Your 4 Social Gifts
  • How to Enter a Room Like a Boss
  • What to Do at an Event Where You Don’t Know Anyone
  • How to Think of Questions to Ask People
  • How to Use Body Language to Create a Dynamite First Impression
  • How to End a Conversation
  • How to Make a Great Last Impression
  • How to Recover from a Bad First Impression
  • How to Ask Better Questions on a First Date
  • How to Give a Compliment
  • Sunday Firesides: Want to Solve Your Social Problems? Get Over Your Self
• Related AoM podcasts on small talk:
  • #317: Why Your First Impression Matters & How to Improve It
  • #406: Why You Need to Embrace Small Talk
• The Rotary’s 4-Way Test

As the isolation of lockdown life comes to an end in 2021, Michael Kosta provides a refresher course on the fine art of small talk, with demonstrations by Roy Wood Jr. and Desi Lydic.

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For a change of pace from the heavier topics, let's talk about the most misunderstood group in human society: introverts. We are often accused of being "anti-social," and "hating people," and so on, but none of that is true. We just have no need for, and do not enjoy, constant noise and pointless chatter.

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