the work of byron katie

Wanting what you want is no easy feat in a society that orients towards being practical and responsible. It’s as if the realm of imagination and creativity is sanctioned to childhood and even there, stands on shaky ground. Yet, it only takes a contemplation of the birthing process or a glance up at the night sky to see that this reality is far from realistic. When we take a step back and release our assumptions, life is nothing short of miraculous! Who would you be without the story you need to be realistic? Is there even such a thing? 

If you’ve ever had an aha! moment while doing ‘The Work’ then you know just how transformative this practice can be. But what happens when the questions aren’t working and you find yourself more jumbled up than you were when you started? This week’s episode is a heartfelt demonstration of how to meet those tender moments by allowing ourselves to be exactly as we are. Self-allowance is one of the most radical tools out there and this group meditation demonstrates just how all-encompassing it can be. If inquiry is actually “love in motion,” then it cannot leave anyone or anything out. Could it be that includes you? 

Byron Katie’s hallmark phrase, ‘Loving what is’ can come off as an exceptionally radical invitation. Especially, when in the midst of a challenging or undesirable moment. If you’re like most adult beings on this planet, you’ve received a lifetime of conditioning to ‘resist what is’ as a path to peace, joy, and happiness. So how could it possibly be that welcoming and allowing are actual, practical solutions for dealing with the challenges we face in our daily lives? This week we invite you to drop all of your preconceived notions about what works and what doesn’t and experiment with your own living examples. Join us, as we explore what actually happens when we give ourselves full permission to be exactly as we are - no matter what. 

Could it be there is one ever-present, awake, awareness that sees everything? Perhaps, the reason we’re always imagining ourselves being watched by others is because intuitively we know that everything about us is seen. Notice how you perceive the nature of this ever-present awareness in your life. If you are like many participants in this week’s group meditation, the one awareness is likened to a judgemental, critical authority, constantly looking for perfection and pointing out all flaws. No wonder our lives can feel so full of nervousness and a sense of constant pressure. This week’s episode invites you to put your mental assumptions aside and experience directly the awareness that sees it all. Could it be that no one is condemning you, except for you? And that in reality, you are always okay just the way you are?

It’s amazing how many stories put us into prevention-mode rather than ‘yes-to-life’ mode. We can get more oriented towards making sure ‘bad’ things don’t happen to us than actually showing up to enjoy our lives. Even when we start to see clearly that believed stories are the true source of our suffering; it can still feel completely radical to consider living without them. This week’s episode brings inquiry to what Tom likes to call ‘the favorite religion on the planet’: you can do it wrong and you can be punished. Join us, as we question this highly cherished story and consider who and what we would be without it. 

*** This audio is for the adventurous listener. Coming in hot from Costa Rica. 

What happens when a value isn’t formed from freedom? It becomes a chore, a demand, a requirement. Even if we resonate with the ethical code or spiritual teaching behind a value - without freedom, it will never be experienced as one’s own embodied truth. Most of us have become experts at memorizing and imitating the ‘right’ ways to live and be in the world. But could it be that a thorough exploration of the nature of our awareness is all we need to harmoniously participate with life? If you’re ready for an alternative approach to living your goodness, this week’s episode is for you. Instead of staying caught between obeying and rebelling against a list of inherited demands and requirements, join us for a deep-dive into utter self-responsibility and the ultimate act of freedom: self-trust.

Are other people’s actions the cause of our hurt? Or is it possible that our thinking is the root cause of all suffering? Whether it be receiving confronting feedback from a friend or watching a romantic partner run off into the sunset with someone else; this week’s episode demonstrates how inquiry can support us to live through any experience with an open heart of gratitude. When we get clear about the cause of our suffering, we don’t have to brace against other people’s words and actions any longer. Instead, we can courageously face each moment and genuinely love whatever happens. We can finally relax and enjoy the ride!

Through inquiry we notice that there is a striking difference between what we hold on to a thought ‘for’ and what the thought actually ‘gives’ us. Once we see this discrepancy, we can decide what we’re actually interested in experiencing and drop the stories that aren’t supporting us with that interest. Sometimes simply seeing how we show up to life when we’re believing a thought can be all it takes to be done with a story forever. Regardless of how it happens for you, the work is an experiential practice. You’re invited to follow along with your own life examples and see for yourself whether this thought or any thought is actually working for you. As Tom says, “don’t take my word for it.” 

If you had the choice to be unconditionally happy or to try and make Life happen the way you want it to go - which would you choose? We are taught to expect that happiness comes from getting what we want. But is that actually how it works? Could it be that we are the happiness we seek? And that who and what we are is good under any circumstance? This week’s episode is a popcorn style investigation into our desire for, and more importantly, our resistance to being happy right now. “I can’t be happy under these circumstances.” Is that really true? 

Many of us walk around with a persistent story and compulsion that we have to ‘do something.’ But is it actually true? What happens when you open up to the possibility that your job is done once you’ve noticed your experience? Could it be that simple? Could it be that noticing anything and everything is enough? Tom proposes that another name for noticing is ‘waking up’ and that that-which-notices is already free. If you find yourself interested in stepping off of the ‘I-need-to-do-something’ hamster wheel, then do your best to follow along as we experiment with allowing ‘noticing’ to be enough.

Tom often describes Reality as ‘utter allowance’ - yet that is not how many of us would describe our day-to-day experience. Imagine standing in front of a mirror completely exposed. In reality, all of you is welcome. Are you aware of what it is that you have a hard time allowing to be? When following the path of inquiry, we often discover decisions made long ago and strategies implemented to keep us safe. This week’s episode explores what happens when we let in the possibility that we are all of it and begin to see clearly that all of it is allowed. 

Notice how in our actual experience nothing is separate. There are no borders and there are no boundaries. There is no outer world and inner world. There is only one, ever present, uninterrupted, impenetrable experiencing. The mind is always looking for an edge, a distinction, a justification to declare what is allowed and not allowed. What is right and what is wrong. What needs to happen, what needs to go away. This week, Tom invites us to let go of this habit and allow it all to blur together as it is. When we see clearly that it’s all allowed, it’s kind of like a ‘game over’ for the mind or a ‘checkmate.’ With nothing to figure out and nothing to do, we can finally rest, relax, and enjoy the ride.

Let’s propose that believing our stressful thinking mirrors the results of putting our hand in a flame. When we do it - it burns, when we believe something untrue- it hurts. Now just because fire can burn us doesn’t mean we’ve stopped using it altogether. It is an incredibly helpful tool. We just acknowledge its potential for destruction and stop engaging with it in ways that can hurt us. What if the same applies with our thinking? What happens when we get very clear about the source of our suffering and stop engaging? Could it be that the path to living a wonderful life has less to do with what we acquire and obtain and so much more to do with a clear understanding of and disengagement from the thinking that leads to our suffering? 

‘The Work’ is an incredible tool that can be utilized anytime we feel resistance to Life. The four questions and the turnarounds can be just as effective for focusing on a small moment of tension in our day-to-day life as they can be with a long standing pattern that has been with us since childhood. How? Because every step of ‘The Work’ requires awareness. If you are interested in looking within for the root of your suffering and your freedom, then we invite you to follow along as this week’s participant dives deep into one of his greatest resistance activators - doing chores.

So often we ask, ‘why am I here?’ from a place of frustration. But notice what happens when we genuinely contemplate this question. Could it be that there is nothing required of you? Nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to be? This week Tom leads a guided meditation into the possibility that there is absolutely nothing required of you to be here. Who are you and what is your presence like without the story that there are rules, demands, and requirements for your existence?

The nature of the universe is utter allowance for everything and everyone. How can that be? Haven’t we proven we should not be free. Haven’t we demonstrated that we (as a human race) need some serious control measures put in place? And yet, reality keeps chugging along saying, “Nope, everyone is free and everyone is allowed to be as they are.” Could it be that Life knows something we don’t? Could it be that everyone has what it takes to navigate their own unique journey on this planet? Even the young people? Join us, for a Mother’s powerful investigation into themes of trust and control and the different worlds we create when we come from fear or we come from love.

Notice what happens to your freedom and joy when you believe you need to be superior to others. Are you actually getting what you imagined being ‘better than’ would bring you? This week’s episode explores the price we pay when we make managing our image more important than the experience of the beingness that we are. Follow along using your own prized labels and discover who you are without the story that you need to manage the narrative around you. 

As children, we intuit the limitlessness of the universe and meet each phenomenon with humility and wonder. Our minds are open to all possibilities, not yet hardened by the “knowing” that comes with growing up. Luckily, it only takes a few moments to disrupt the arrogance of the ‘I-know’ mind and this week’s episode provides ample opportunities to do so. Through inquiry we examine whether or not ‘being reasonable’ supports us to live and experience in the way we truly want to. If every human body will eventually return to the earth - what kind of life and experiences are you interested in having while you’re here?

Do you know for sure that the movement of people coming and going from your life means something about you? What about your movement in and out of other people’s worlds? Although the mind loves to explain why these things happen the way they do, when we engage in self-inquiry we start to see how very little there is that we can know for sure about why things are the way they are. This week’s episode is an intimate sharing on how to work with the comings and goings of friendships, to welcome our blackhole-like need for reassurance, and to experience directly the freedom we all exist within. Who would you be if you knew that the movement of people in and out of your world were impersonal cosmic events?

Who are you when you believe you need to prove yourself through your accomplishments? What happens to your world when you look to the past and believe that you wanted to achieve more than you did? These are some of the simple and powerful questions explored in this week’s episode as we examine the stressful and relentless story of ‘achievement.’ Follow along for a powerful popcorn-style inquiry and allow yourself to open up to the freedom that is instantly available when you realize perhaps, you’ve achieved exactly what you wanted to all along.