win-lose

If you enjoyed this episode then share it with your friends and family.

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to the show on your favorite listening platform to get automatic episode updates for "Enlightened Relationships!"

Please take a minute to leave us an honest REVIEW and RATING. They really help when it comes to the ranking of the show and I make it a point to read every single one of the reviews.

Thanks for listening!

References:

• Schedule your Consultation Call to see if coaching is the right fit for you!
• FREE Relationship Communication Boost Register Here
• Emotional Guidance Scale (Available for download from my website!)
• Enlightened Relationships Facebook Group

Website:

www.lindseykporter.com

If you enjoyed this episode then share it with your friends and family.

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to the show on your favorite listening platform to get automatic episode updates for "Enlightened Relationships!"

Please take a minute to leave us an honest REVIEW and RATING. They really help when it comes to the ranking of the show and I make it a point to read every single one of the reviews.

Thanks for listening!

References:

• Schedule your Consultation Call to see if coaching is the right fit for you!
• FREE Relationship Communication Boost Register Here
• Emotional Guidance Scale (Available for download from my website!)
• Enlightened Relationships Facebook Group

Website:

www.lindseykporter.com

If you enjoyed this episode then share it with your friends and family.

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to the show on your favorite listening platform to get automatic episode updates for "Enlightened Relationships!"

Please take a minute to leave us an honest REVIEW and RATING. They really help when it comes to the ranking of the show and I make it a point to read every single one of the reviews.

Thanks for listening!

References:

• Schedule your Consultation Call to see if coaching is the right fit for you!
• FREE Relationship Communication Boost Register Here
• Emotional Guidance Scale (Available for download from my website!)
• Enlightened Relationships Facebook Group

Website:

www.lindseykporter.com

In this episode we ask if we do not already have a "Butterfly Intuition".  By "Butterfly Intuition" I refer to the metaphorical butterfly that we have a chance of turning into personally and as a society and civilisation.   It is an intuition that guides us to make all-win choices.

We talk about the idea of diversity and based on it we look at how it appears in our current win-lose, competitive dynamics and its role in the all-win system. 

We talk about how appearance and image is important in our current dynamics and how this is related to competitive information processing where judgement is a first key element and we see how polarisation and fighting for positions of power come in.

We contrast this to information processing in the all-win system and we see that appearance no longer plays the same role and in fact mostly distorts desirable information.  The dynamics is that of starting by searching for a point of connections, seeing what we resonate with, what makes sense to us in the communication of the other person.  From there we expand the basis adding experience from other perspectives and creativity in a joint exploration, where learning is the focus.

Here we stop to talk about how diversity becomes a natural point of interest as it broadens the reach of perspectives and is capable of providing greater insight.

Then we point out that we now have technology that could work with this type of human interactions.  Indeed systems such as "the wisdom of crowds" work best when the input is from autonomous, diverse, and independent sources.  Such systems could be used as systems of organisation, as opposed to the current hierarchical systems of power, whose shortcomings we are aware of and have explored for thousands of years.

Finally, we end by returning to the idea that because this is a heart centered system it actually feels better to interact in than our current system.  And so, by paying attention to how we feel and then employing out logical powers of discernment we may have an internal guide to assist in out collaborative transition into a metaphorical butterfly (as discussed in a previous episode).

If you have any comments, questions, or suggestions for the podcast you can contact me on Instagram @BasiasThoughts.  And, of course, if you would like to see more content from me do sponsor me on https://www.patreon.com/basia because that will allow me to focus more on content creation.

Three Ways of Focusing - Three Different Lives

For pedagogical purposes we imagine three different persons.  The first lives their lives by focusing on achieving goals.  The second has their focus on purpose.  And the third one on meaning.

We discuss what types of differences arise as a result of this in their world views, in how they connect and interact with others, in how they view science, in their narrations of what is, and in who they believe they are.  We also look at where win-lose and win-win dynamics fit in.

The three persons are fictitious but it is easy for us to tend to lean more towards one of them.  By choosing to allow the view and focus of the third person we automatically gain a number of advantages as to our mode of operation in the world and how we feel about it.  We are also given greater access to clarity, creativity, and imagination.

By spending more time in the realm of pure Awareness, uncluttered by mind concepts, the door for identifying with it opens wider, and thus also our passage into a different way of functioning.

If you have any comments, questions, or suggestions for the podcast you can contact me on Instagram @BasiasThoughts.  And, of course, if you would like to see more content from me do sponsor me on https://www.patreon.com/basia because that will allow me to focus more on content creation.

We talk about how the idea of "going deeper" can be used to engage in all-win dynamics, as opposed to win-lose dynamics.

We briefly mention that many of our societies have been engaging in competitive dynamics and that this is a dynamics that tends to optimise for a win and thereby incentivise destruction of what may appear to stand in its way, such as other individuals, opponents, ecosystems, etc.

An alternative system would be an all-win system that can be likened to a spiral that with each iteration brings everyone higher.  Such a dynamics may also be connected to the male-female types of energies we talked about in the first episode.  In particular, we are currently in a more action-oriented society where the being aspect is underused. 

Thus we talk about how "going deeper" and "being" can assist us in engaging in the all-win dynamics.  For this purpose, we look at two examples of concepts that are seen in a positive light in the competitive world but are not the best option in the spiral world, namely compromise and sacrifice. 
We go into two anecdotes.   And finally we also ask what it is that is stopping us from engaging in the spiral dynamics.  There, we mention fear and misidentification.

If you have any comments, questions, or suggestions for the podcast you can contact me on Instagram @BasiasThoughts.  And, of course, if you would like to see more content from me do sponsor me on https://www.patreon.com/basia because that will allow me to focus more on content creation.

Every marriage includes different times when you have to compromise. In a blended family, there are even more opportunities to practice your compromising skills. In this episode, we explore different kinds of compromise and how best to work through the hard decisions you have to make.

Blended Family Compromises

• Small things
  • Whose pots and pans to keep
  • Storage Bins
  • Socks in the sock basket
  • Soda at Dinner at a restaurant
• Where to live
• Work
• Schools to go to
• Church
• Sports 
• Bedroom

Why Compromise (Win-Win, Win-Lose, and Lose-Lose)

• You have to.
• You can't both get exactly what you want you will have to give and take.
• Some people are saying don't compromise because if you compromise then neither person is happy.
• Some have come up with different names for the same thing. Solution, Deal, etc..
• Examples of compromise
  • Win-Win
  • Win-Lose
  • Lose-Lose 

Making Compromises Tips

• Communicate Your Needs Clearly
• Listen (Without Interrupting)
• Carefully weight Your Options
• Put Yourself in Your Partner's shoes (Get in the Trenches)
• Consider What is Fair
• Make a Decision and Stick With It
• Check-In with One Another

Funny Moment of the Week
Darren leaves his suit in a hotel mimicking David's mistake from the Heritage trip.