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    104. “We’re worth $1.25M, so why is he afraid to get a $15 gym membership?”

    enJune 06, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Designing a rich life involves more than managing finances and understanding personal valuesOpen communication and recognizing the importance of both partners being engaged in financial decisions are crucial in designing a rich life. Use 'The Journal' to envision your perfect week, month, and year, and secure presale tickets with code 'rich life'.

      Designing a rich life goes beyond just managing finances and involves understanding personal values. The speaker shared her upcoming events in Philadelphia and Boston, encouraging listeners to secure presale tickets using the code "rich life." She also introduced "The Journal," a no-numbers journal to help individuals envision their perfect week, month, and year. The speaker expressed her frustration with Jesse's reluctance to engage in financial discussions, highlighting the importance of open communication in designing a rich life. The conversation with Stacy and Jesse, a couple with an imbalanced dynamic, underscored the significance of both partners being engaged in financial decisions. The speaker's personal story about Jesse's reluctance to spend money on a gym membership illustrated the importance of open communication and recognizing that small expenses can still impact one's rich life.

    • Jesse's frugal habits rooted in upbringing and past strugglesFocus on major financial decisions, not trivial ones, to avoid unnecessary stress and missed opportunities

      Jesse's reluctance to spend money, even on a small expense like a gym membership, stems from his upbringing and past financial struggles. This pattern of behavior, although aimed at saving money, can lead to unnecessary stress and missed opportunities. It's essential to focus on the significant financial decisions and not get bogged down by the trivial ones. In this case, Jesse spent weeks deliberating over a $15 gym membership, which could have been purchased in a matter of minutes. This behavior is not unique to Jesse, as some people prioritize saving every penny, leading to a life of frugality that can limit experiences and personal growth. It's essential to find a balance between saving and spending to ensure financial stability while also allowing for the occasional indulgence.

    • Enhancing Travel and Email Management with Viator and SuperhumanViator provides exceptional travel experiences with real reviews, flexibility, and support. Superhuman saves time with email organization, keyboard shortcuts, and email summaries.

      Using services like Viator and software like Superhuman can significantly enhance travel experiences and email management, respectively. Viator offers a wide range of travel experiences in various countries with real travel reviews, flexibility, and support. Superhuman, an email software, saves time by organizing emails, using keyboard shortcuts, and even summarizing long emails. When Stacy started making more money in her late twenties, she took on the role of managing the couple's finances, making decisions about investments and big purchases. In their early twenties, they didn't have many conversations about money due to their financial situations. Now, Stacy does all the financial planning and managing, while Jesse focuses on other areas. Both Viator and Superhuman are tools that can help individuals save time, have better experiences, and make the most of their resources.

    • Misaligned financial habits despite shared upbringingEven with the same background, different approaches to money management can lead to misunderstandings and tension in relationships

      Having all the right reasons for financial decisions doesn't always lead to the desired outcome. Stacy and Jesse's stories illustrate this, as they both have rational explanations for their financial habits but are not achieving the results they want. Their upbringing, shaped by being raised by cautious immigrant mothers, has instilled in them a strong work ethic and a need to make the most of what they have. However, their differing approaches to money management – with Stacy being proactive and Jesse being less diligent – have led to misunderstandings and tension in their relationship. Despite their shared past, their approaches to money have diverged, and they have not given Jesse the responsibility and accountability needed to improve their financial situation together.

    • Tracking too many expenses categories might not lead to financial goalsFocus on essential categories and use insights to make informed decisions towards financial objectives

      While meticulously tracking every expense and having a large number of categories in a budgeting app might give a sense of control, it doesn't necessarily lead to achieving financial goals. The discussion highlights the importance of simplicity and focus in managing personal finances. The speaker shares an example of someone who tracks an excessive number of categories, which has become a part of their identity but doesn't provide valuable insights or actionable steps towards saving or investing. Instead, it's crucial to prioritize and focus on essential categories and use the information gained to make informed decisions and work towards financial objectives. Additionally, the speaker introduces Peak Tea as a sponsor, which offers a convenient and high-quality tea experience without the need for extensive preparation.

    • Effective communication and understanding are key to a healthy relationshipIdentifying personal needs and working together to address them can improve relationship dynamics, whether it's about sleep or money.

      Effective communication and understanding each other's needs are crucial for a healthy relationship, whether it's about sleep or money. The 8 Sleep pod can help improve sleep quality by adjusting temperatures to individual preferences. In the context of financial matters, the couple in the discussion acknowledged their communication issues and the need for both partners to engage and contribute to their shared financial goals. If left unaddressed, these issues could lead to resentment and dissatisfaction. It's essential to identify personal comfort zones and work together to create a life that is enjoyable for both partners. The 8 Sleep pod and couples counseling serve as examples of tools that can help address specific needs and improve overall relationship dynamics.

    • Unequal participation in financial decisions can lead to unintended consequencesOpen communication and equal participation in financial decisions are crucial for achieving shared and individual financial goals

      Being uncomfortable with money and having unequal participation in financial decisions within a relationship can lead to unintended consequences. The example given is of a couple, Stacy and Jesse, who combined their finances years ago. While Stacy has taken control of their budgeting and financial decisions, Jesse has remained passive. This dynamic has worked for their basic needs, but Stacy desires more equitable participation in achieving their goals. The conversation reveals that Jesse was content with his retail job, but Stacy saw it as a limiting path and encouraged him to start a business. Her encouragement may have come across as pushing him into something unfamiliar and potentially risky, leading to his reluctance. This situation highlights the importance of open communication and equal participation in financial decisions to ensure both partners are working towards their shared goals and individual aspirations.

    • Unbalanced Financial Power in RelationshipsUnequal financial control in relationships can lead to feelings of disempowerment, lack of essential skills, and potential financial instability. Both partners should work together to share financial responsibilities and ensure a secure future.

      The dynamic between Stacy and Jesse in their financial relationship is unbalanced, with Stacy holding all the financial power and Jesse being financially dependent on her. This dynamic has been going on for years, with Jesse feeling disempowered and Stacy unaware of the consequences of her actions. Despite having a combined income and assets worth over a million dollars, Jesse feels uneasy about their financial situation due to the lack of control he has over their finances. This dynamic is harmful to both parties, as Jesse is not learning essential financial skills and Stacy's actions may leave him in a difficult position if she were to disappear suddenly. It's crucial for both partners to work together and share financial responsibilities to ensure a stable and secure future for themselves.

    • Understanding and managing finances is crucial for reducing stress and anxietyEffective financial management involves more than just having enough funds. It requires understanding and experience, open communication, and setting ambitious financial goals.

      Effective financial management goes beyond having sufficient funds. In the discussion, it became clear that a lack of understanding and experience in managing finances, investments, and insurance can lead to significant stress and anxiety, even for those with substantial resources. Jesse, despite having a successful business and a significant income, expressed feelings of unease and uncertainty about his financial future. Stacy acknowledged her role in shaping Jesse's financial mindset and regretted not encouraging him to take full control of his financial decisions. To improve their situation, they agreed that sharing responsibilities and allowing Jesse to make decisions would be crucial. Additionally, Jesse's small goals for his business highlighted the importance of dreaming big and setting ambitious targets. Overall, the conversation underscored the importance of financial literacy and the need for open communication and collaboration in managing financial matters.

    • Communication and Expectations in Financial RelationshipsBe upfront about financial expectations, seek knowledge, and explore affordable financial solutions for clear communication and effective financial relationships.

      Effective communication and setting clear expectations are crucial in relationships, especially when it comes to financial matters. In the discussed conversation between Jesse and Stacy, there seems to be a lack of clarity and alignment regarding Jesse's business and financial goals. Stacy initially encouraged Jesse to start his business but later expressed disappointment about the financial returns. Jesse felt conflicted and anxious about not being able to meet Stacy's financial expectations. This situation highlights the importance of being upfront about financial expectations and ensuring that both parties have a shared understanding of the goals and limitations. Additionally, the conversation touches upon the idea of self-imposed limitations and the importance of dreaming big and exploring possibilities. The metaphor of Ron Howard's checklist for movies can be applied to our own lives, emphasizing the importance of seeking knowledge and guidance from experts to improve ourselves and our situations. Furthermore, the discussion about financial planning brings up the issue of high fees charged by financial advisers and the benefits of flat-fee services like Facet, which offers affordable and accessible financial planning. Overall, the conversation underscores the importance of open communication, setting clear expectations, and exploring financial solutions that work best for individuals and their relationships.

    • Managing investments with a fee-stable financial advisorFacet Wealth helps grow investments while keeping fees consistent, enabling you to make more and keep more money. Open conversations with your partner about financial goals and priorities can prevent tension in relationships.

      Having a fee-stable financial advisor like Facet Wealth can help you grow your investments while keeping your fees the same. This means you make more and keep more of your hard-earned money. Facet is offering an exclusive deal to Ramit's listeners, waiving the $250 enrollment fee and giving $500 into new annual members' accounts when they invest $5,000 in the first 90 days. If you're considering a financial adviser, Facet.com/ramit is a recommended choice. During the conversation, Stacy shared that she's concerned about having enough money, but she also enjoys being at home and cooking. She acknowledged that she might have given Jesse a narrative that he needs to make more money, which he perceives as an obsession with money. Stacy clarified that her obsession with money comes from a desire for safety and security, and she's been successful in building wealth with this mindset. However, she also recognized that her focus on money might be causing tension in their relationship and that she doesn't want to continue optimizing at the cost of their connection. In summary, having a financial advisor like Facet can help you manage your investments and grow your wealth while keeping fees consistent. It's essential to have open and honest conversations with your partner about your financial goals and priorities to avoid creating unrealistic expectations and tension in your relationship.

    • Finding balance in money management and enjoying lifeMastering money management is important but don't let it consume you. Find balance between saving and living, and involve your partner for a more fulfilling relationship and life experience.

      While mastering money management is important, it shouldn't be a source of stress or obsession. At a certain level of knowledge and mastery, it becomes a utility. However, neglecting to enjoy the fruits of your labor and constantly focusing on savings can lead to missed opportunities and an unsatisfying life. Instead, finding a balance between saving for the future and living in the present, and involving your partner in financial decision-making, can lead to a more fulfilling relationship and life experience. For instance, planning a dream vacation, like a trip to Italy, can provide excitement and motivation to save and budget effectively. By shifting the perspective on money and involving both parties in financial planning, the journey towards financial security can become more enjoyable and rewarding.

    • Optimizing Finances in RelationshipsAttempting to optimize finances in relationships without shared responsibility can lead to tension and deeper issues. Giving more involvement and control to the disengaged partner can create a healthier and more balanced partnership.

      Optimizing a system to get exactly what you put in might not be the most beneficial approach in relationships, especially when it comes to finances. In the conversation between Stacy and Jesse, it became clear that Stacy had taken on the financial responsibilities in their relationship, leaving Jesse feeling disengaged and disempowered. Although Stacy's intention was to optimize their savings for retirement, the lack of balance and shared responsibility in their financial dynamic was causing tension and potentially leading to deeper issues. The couple realized that by reversing roles and giving Jesse more involvement in their finances, they could create a healthier and more balanced partnership. Stacy's biggest takeaway was that her attempts to save the day with money had created an environment of intimidation instead of curiosity, and she began taking steps to give Jesse more ownership and control over their household budget and investments.

    • Addressing relationship dynamics for financial improvementEffective communication and understanding of relationship dynamics can lead to significant improvements in financial partnerships. Seeking professional guidance can help address underlying issues and foster deeper appreciation and equitable financial management.

      Effective communication and understanding of relationship dynamics can lead to significant improvements in financial partnerships. In the discussed scenario, Jesse and Stacy were able to address long-standing feelings of anxiety, avoidance, and disinterest towards their finances through open dialogue and professional guidance. As a result, they reallocated their savings targets and established a more equitable financial partnership, with Jesse taking on the day-to-day spending responsibilities. This not only improved their financial situation but also fostered a deeper understanding and appreciation of each other's perspectives. For those facing similar challenges, it's important to remember that addressing underlying relationship dynamics and seeking professional guidance can lead to meaningful progress in personal finance management.

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    More Oral Sex, Less Stalking the Ex

    More Oral Sex, Less Stalking the Ex
    They say that money can’t buy happiness, but what can? On today’s show Emily is joined by Menace to show you that all you really need to be happy is a little relaxation and a whole lot of pleasure! You’re trying to up your sex game, but is your partner even worth the trouble? How do you know when someone’s a certified douche canoe? When your love is locked up, is it okay to want to stray? Emily and Menace help listeners get through these sex and dating issues, plus go over why adequate sex and sleep make you the happiest version of you. Tune in! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Thrive Market, Adam & Eve, Womanizer Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    21: Where Do We Go From Here?!

    21: Where Do We Go From Here?!

    TW: SA 

    Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-hosts, Justin and Lauren! This little trio take on stories that don't have any relation or common theme but all leave you feeling 'wtf' or 'where do we go from here....'. They start with a listener write-in about a woman whose boyfriend has been saving her friends pictures for his personal time.. And then for the Reddit stories! Stories include a neighbor who is leaving medical waste in a shared hallway, a man whose trying to give his ex-wife money but his GF is irate, a woman whose fiancé wants her to complete a family practice that she's not on board with, and a woman whose hubby cheated with her son of all people. 

    As always your support is very appreciated: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes

    Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes 

     

    (Matt Monday): The Most Dangerous Person in Dating...

    (Matt Monday): The Most Dangerous Person in Dating...

    Have you ever dated someone who seems really into you . . . only for you to find yourself in a dead-end situationship where you just want to scream, “What are we?!” every time you’re together?

    Turns out there is a solution for this (and you don’t need to be a mind reader).

    In today’s episode, I’ll show you some simple ways you can find out what your future would look like with someone—even early on in dating.

    Be sure to watch now to learn how you can tell the difference between someone who will continue to string you along and someone who’s good relationship material.

    ►► Pre-Order My New Book, "Love Life" at → http://www.LoveLifeBook.com

    ►► Ready to Get Off the Sidelines and Back into Dating?
    Join my Free Virtual Event, The Love Life Reset
    Reserve Your Spot Now at. . .
    → http://www.LoveLifeTraining.com