Podcast Summary
On-the-spot communication: Practice and the right resources can help improve on-the-spot communication skills. Comfortable communicators consider their first draft as their best, while others prefer preparation.
Effective communication, especially on the spot, is a challenge for many, but it's a skill that can be improved with practice and the right resources. Matt Abrahams, the Communication Coach at Stanford Graduate School of Business, shares his expertise on this topic in a conversation with Harvard Business Professor Francis Fry and her CEO wife Anne Morris on the Fixable podcast. Francis, who is deeply comfortable communicating on the spot, describes it as liberating because she considers her first draft to be her best. On the other hand, Matt, who prefers having advanced notice, values the opportunity to refine his communication. The episode offers practical advice and strategies for those looking to improve their on-the-spot communication skills. Matt also shares his favorite English language learning resources, including his new English language learning webpage at faster smarter.io/ELL. Overall, the conversation emphasizes that meaningful change, including becoming a more confident and compelling communicator, can happen quickly and that good solutions are often just a brave conversation away.
Effective Spontaneous Speaking: Effective spontaneous speaking is crucial for personal and professional success. Tools from Matt Abrahams' book 'Think Faster, Talk Smarter' can help answer questions, give feedback, and make small talk confidently in unplanned situations, focusing on the audience's needs.
Effective communication, especially in unplanned or spontaneous situations, is crucial for both personal and professional success. Matt Abrahams, a professor at Stanford Business School, emphasizes the importance of being able to answer questions, give feedback, and make small talk confidently, even when caught off guard. He calls this "spontaneous speaking" and aims to help reduce the experience of regret after thinking of the perfect response too late. His new book, "Think Faster, Talk Smarter," provides tools for doing just that. Good communication is defined by the audience's experience and gaining the information they need to be successful. By focusing on the audience and practicing these skills, one can become more confident and effective in their communication.
Assuming perfection: Assuming everything is going perfectly well, even if it's not, can lead to more present and authentic communication that fosters connection rather than isolation.
Effective communication is not about striving for perfection but rather focusing on connection. According to the discussion, putting too much pressure on oneself to get it right can actually hinder performance. Instead, letting go of the need for perfection and assuming that everything will go well can help improve cognitive bandwidth and facilitate better communication. This idea of assuming everything is going perfectly well, even if it's not, can lead to a more present and authentic form of communication that fosters connection rather than isolation. In my experience, the payoff of becoming better at communication is the ability to effectively transmit information and wisdom to others, leading to positive outcomes for both individuals and organizations. When entering an organization, I begin by establishing a foundation of trust and inclusion through interactive lectures, setting the stage for open and effective communication.
Managing anxiety in communication: Managing anxiety through techniques and replacing perfectionism with focus on connection are crucial for effective communication in spontaneous situations.
Effective communication, especially in spontaneous situations, requires managing anxiety, shifting mindset, and focusing on clear messaging. Anxiety can be managed through various techniques, and perfectionism should be replaced with a focus on connection. Embracing circumstances and active listening are essential mindset shifts. Messaging should be structured and focused, avoiding unnecessary rambling. The six-step process includes managing anxiety, addressing perfectionism, embracing circumstances, listening, and focusing on messaging. Practicing these steps with intent and reflection can help individuals feel more comfortable and confident in high-pressure communication situations. This methodology was developed to help business students prepare for cold calls in the classroom, simulating real-world high-stakes environments.
Anxiety and Communication: Anxiety is a natural response to high-stakes situations, indicating importance, and can be embraced as a normal part of communication experience.
Anxiety is a natural part of being human, especially when it comes to communication and being in front of others. Instead of fighting it or seeing it as an enemy, we should make peace with it and understand that it's an indicator that the stakes are high and we should react. Anxiety can be traced back to our evolutionary past, and it's a common experience, especially for young people. Sharing personal stories, like the one about a 14-year-old boy named Abraham who was asked to give a speech in front of his peers and felt immense anxiety, can help us understand the impact of anxiety on communication. Despite the nerves and the distractions, Abraham stayed on the stage and finished his speech, which led him to become curious about anxiety's impact on him and eventually study it further. The recovery moment, where we choose to stay and face our fears instead of running away, is the extraordinary part of the story.
Communication structure: A clear communication structure can prevent imposter syndrome and help recover from blanking out by providing a framework to regain composure and focus on the audience and value provided.
Having a clear structure in communication can help prevent the fear of blanking out or feeling like an imposter. The speaker shared a personal experience of blanking out while singing Gilbert and Sullivan at a young age and how repeating the structure helped her get back on track. This principle applies to various forms of communication, including business pitches, where problem-solution-benefit structure is commonly used. Imposter syndrome, the feeling of not being worthy or deserving, can also be addressed by shifting the focus from oneself to the audience and the value one can provide to them. If blanking out still occurs, repeating oneself or asking a question to distract the audience can help. By having a back-pocket question or prompt, one can regain composure and continue the communication effectively.
Preparation and Spontaneity in Communication: Prepare to understand audience, clarify goals, and stockpile key ideas, but also manage anxiety and build confidence through an anxiety management plan and calming techniques.
Effective communication, even in high-pressure situations, requires a balance between preparation and spontaneity. Preparation is crucial for delivering a successful message, as it helps us understand our audience, clarify our goals, and stockpile key ideas. However, it's also essential to manage anxiety and build confidence before delivering the message. This can be achieved through creating an anxiety management plan (AMP) and focusing on techniques that calm the nerves. The speaker's experience of blanking out during a live talk after three years of Zoom presentations highlights the importance of preparation and the value of having a safety net to fall back on when unexpected challenges arise. Ultimately, successful communication requires a thoughtful approach that balances both preparation and spontaneity.
Reframing Anxiety as Excitement: Reframing anxiety as excitement can help overcome self-doubt and effectively connect with audience. Deep breathing, positive affirmations, and being present in the moment can aid in this process.
Anxiety can be reframed as excitement, leading to positive benefits. Before facing a high-pressure situation, such as public speaking, engage in deep breathing exercises, create a positive affirmation or mantra, and focus on being present in the moment for your audience. By doing so, you can overcome self-doubt and anxiety, and effectively connect with those around you. Matt Abrahams, the guest on this podcast, emphasizes the importance of being fully present, as seen in the art of stand-up comedy, where performers must engage with their audience in the moment to succeed.
Effective Communication and Leadership: Effective communication and leadership are interconnected, making others better through communication is key to lasting impact, and communication challenges are fixable.
Learning from this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart is that effective communication and leadership are interconnected, and both are essential for making a positive impact on others. The guest, Anne and Francis, emphasized that leadership is about making others better, not just during your presence but also after you're gone. They also highlighted the importance of communication as the currency that enables influencing others' thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. The hosts further emphasized that communication challenges are fixable, and they encouraged listeners to reach out to them for help through Fixable at Ted.com or 234-349-2253. Overall, the message is that with the right communication skills, we can all become better leaders and make a lasting impact on those around us. So, keep communicating, keep learning, and remember that all communication is fixable.
