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    • Acknowledging the importance of balance in lifeEmbrace life's experiences, maintain balance, and cherish personal growth with the support of friends.

      The speaker, who had been sober for 31 days, celebrated his return to drinking with his friends, acknowledging the importance of balance in his life. He emphasized the enjoyment of life's experiences, whether it be the first sip of a good scotch or a first kiss, and how they all contribute to his identity. The speaker also highlighted that everyone has the freedom to make choices that bring them joy, as long as they maintain a healthy lifestyle. Additionally, the group's camaraderie and support for each other's personal growth were evident throughout the conversation.

    • Finding Inspiration Through Marijuana and HonestyThe speaker finds inspiration for his writing through the use of marijuana in the morning, allowing him to explore topics freely and honestly, while also emphasizing the importance of staying true to himself in his work.

      The speaker finds inspiration for his writing, particularly in comedy, through the use of marijuana, specifically in the morning. He believes his ideas flow more freely and creatively during this time, allowing him to explore various topics and angles in a stream-of-consciousness manner. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of being honest and true to himself in his work, even if it means revisiting and refining ideas that may not initially seem successful. He also discusses the challenges of finding unique and funny perspectives on current events and cultural issues. Ultimately, the speaker's process involves experimenting with different approaches and tools, refining his craft, and staying true to his own sense of humor.

    • Persisting through challenges with creativityEmbrace challenges, stay creative, and don't accept things as they are. Learn from setbacks, keep improving, and stay true to your vision.

      Persistence and creativity can lead to success, even when faced with challenges. The speaker shares how they learned to figure things out and improve, especially during the pandemic. They emphasize the importance of not accepting things as they are, but instead editing, reworking, and trying new approaches. The conversation also touches on the power of art and creativity, with a focus on Kanye West's ability to dominate conversations and create iconic works. The speaker admires West's approach to conversation and his unapologetic expression of ideas, even if they are controversial. They also highlight the importance of staying true to one's vision and not being deterred by criticism or pushback. Overall, the conversation encourages listeners to keep moving forward, stay creative, and embrace the challenges that come their way.

    • Understanding the Complexity of 'Made in America'While some companies claim to make products in the USA, the definition can be complex. Some only assemble parts here, while others source materials overseas. The cost of entirely American-made products can be high, but there's a market for those willing to pay a premium.

      While some companies like New Balance and Origin claim to make products in the USA, the definition of "made in America" can be complex. Some companies may only assemble parts in the US, while others source materials from overseas. The cost of producing entirely American-made products can be prohibitive, making it a challenge for companies to meet consumer demand while maintaining affordability. However, there is a market for consumers willing to pay more for products made entirely in America. Companies like Origin, which make jeans, jiu-jitsu gears, and boots entirely in the USA, are exceptions. Elon Musk's success with Tesla shows that consumers are willing to pay a premium for products they perceive as environmentally friendly or patriotic. Ultimately, it's essential to research and understand the specifics of a company's manufacturing process to determine the authenticity of their "made in America" claims.

    • Complex realities of global productionGlobal production brings ethical dilemmas, requiring transparency and accountability to ensure fair labor practices and sustainable production.

      The globalized economy brings complex realities to the production of goods in countries like the United States, where workers may not be native to the country but are protected by American laws and wages. However, the working conditions and environments in some factories can be concerning, with labor violations and subpar living conditions reported in many cases. This raises ethical questions about the sourcing of goods and the responsibility of brands to ensure fair labor practices. The issue is further complicated by the cultural and political tensions that arise when different values and identities collide, as seen in the context of the Confederate flag and its symbolism. Ultimately, it's essential to consider the complexities of global production and the need for transparency and accountability in the supply chain to promote ethical and sustainable practices.

    • Learning about the Civil War and Controversial Topics in EducationThe role of educators in presenting historical facts versus respecting parents' wishes can be controversial. Controversial topics like the Civil War or abortion can leave students traumatized if not handled sensitively. Open, rational dialogue is crucial in navigating these complex issues.

      Education and history can be subjective and controversial, leading to important discussions about what information should be shared with students and when. The speaker recounted learning about the Civil War in high school, which was presented as being primarily about trade rather than slavery. They also shared an experience of being shown a graphic abortion video in class, which left them traumatized. The speaker questioned the role of educators in exposing students to various ideas versus respecting parents' wishes. The discussion also touched on the potential for conflict and unity in education, particularly when addressing sensitive historical topics. Ultimately, the speaker emphasized the importance of rational, open-minded dialogue in navigating these complex issues.

    • Understanding the Complexity of Sensitive IssuesEvery child's perspective and development regarding sensitive issues like racism and abortion is unique, requiring individualized approaches.

      People's experiences and perspectives on sensitive issues like racism and abortion can vary greatly. A video that deeply affected one person's stance on abortion did not resonate with another person who had gone through multiple abortions. Similarly, the approach to addressing racism in schools, such as encouraging aggression towards those exhibiting racist behavior, can be a complex and nuanced issue. Some may argue it's necessary to stop racism, while others may see it as imposing radical views. Ultimately, it's crucial to remember that every child's development and understanding of these issues is unique, and a one-size-fits-all approach may not be effective. Additionally, aggression, while a natural behavior in children, should be addressed and regulated appropriately.

    • Racial Tensions on College CampusesRacial tensions and divisions persist on college campuses, despite efforts towards integration.

      The speaker experienced instances of racial tension and segregation during their time at Florida State University in the late 1990s. They recall being confronted by athletes who held negative views towards white students and feeling threatened due to these encounters. The speaker also recounts an incident where they intervened to prevent a verbal altercation between a UFC fighter and an individual talking disrespectfully to him. These experiences highlight the existence of racial tensions and divisions on college campuses, even in supposedly integrated environments.

    • Boss Rooten: A Formidable Martial Arts FighterBoss Rooten, a smaller but intimidating fighter, was known for his aggressive style and vicious power in martial arts competitions. His reputation as a fierce competitor had a significant impact on the scene.

      Boss Rooten was a formidable fighter known for his aggressive style and vicious power in various martial arts competitions. He was a high-level striker who could "fuck people up" with his open-hand strikes and kicks. Despite his smaller stature compared to some opponents, his intimidating presence and fighting skills made him a formidable opponent. An incident involving a football player ripping his opponent's bicep in a bathroom is cited as an example of Boss Rooten's fighting prowess. Overall, Boss Rooten's reputation as a fierce competitor and his impact on the martial arts scene is a significant takeaway from the discussion.

    • Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu expert defends himself at a partyBrazilian Jiu-Jitsu skills helped Tate deescalate a confrontation and protect himself from a larger aggressor by applying a naked choke, emphasizing the effectiveness of technique over brute force.

      Tate, a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu expert, was able to use his skills to defend himself and put an aggressive man to sleep during a confrontation. The incident took place during a party, and Tate's friends, including Eddie Bravo and Joe Rogan, were present. The man, who was much larger than Tate, threatened to harm him, but Tate remained calm and used an omeplata transition to apply a naked choke, rendering the man unconscious. The man's friends apologized and took him away. Tate's ability to use his Jiu-Jitsu skills to deescalate the situation and protect himself demonstrates the power and effectiveness of the martial art. Additionally, the incident highlights the importance of staying calm and using technique rather than relying on brute force during confrontations.

    • Encounters with celebrities and the impact of their actionsPreparation, expertise, and staying adaptable are essential in the entertainment industry. Mindfulness and being present can lead to meaningful experiences and opportunities.

      Passion and dedication, whether it's in wrestling, acting, or podcasting, can lead to great experiences and unexpected opportunities. Tate Taylor shared stories of his encounters with celebrities and the impact of their actions, no matter how small, on him. He also discussed the importance of preparation and expertise in the entertainment industry, as seen in his own work as a fight coordinator. Additionally, the evolution of podcasting and the impact of technology on communication was highlighted, showcasing the significance of staying adaptable and embracing new opportunities. The anecdotes shared by Tate emphasized the importance of being present and mindful in every moment, as even seemingly insignificant actions can leave a lasting impression.

    • An extraordinary journey underwater with SalviaThe speakers shared their transformative experience with Salvia, believing they lived underwater for months, emphasizing its value for consciousness exploration while acknowledging risks and importance of preparation.

      The speakers in this conversation had an extraordinary experience with Salvia, a psychedelic substance, which led them to believe they had lived underwater for months. Despite the bizarre and unsettling nature of the experience, they viewed it as a valuable and transformative journey, opening up possibilities about consciousness and the nature of reality. However, the speakers also acknowledged the risks and potential negative consequences of using such substances, and emphasized the importance of being prepared and responsible when exploring uncharted territories of the mind.

    • Memories of a Drug-Fueled FriendshipThe speaker cherishes the memories of his drug-fueled friendship with Joey Diaz, acknowledging Joey's role in introducing him to drugs but appreciating the joy and connection they shared

      The speaker cherishes the memories of his friendship with Joey Diaz, despite Joey's involvement in the speaker's drug use. The speaker recalls how Joey became a part of his life, from offering him checks to hang out with his coke-using friends, to becoming his neighbor and attending family events. One memorable experience involved Joey giving the speaker's father marijuana-laced popcorn during Easter, leading the father to become a regular user. The speaker acknowledges that Joey's influence led him to experiment with drugs, but he also appreciates the joy and connection they shared during those times. The speaker expresses his deep affection for Joey, who has always been there for him, even during his most challenging moments.

    • Friendship in tough timesTrue friends remain loyal and support each other, even during challenging situations, despite potential backlash or unpopularity.

      True friendship stands strong even in the most challenging situations. The speaker recounts an experience where his friend helped him through a difficult situation involving drug use, and despite the potential backlash, she stood by him. The speaker also acknowledges the harsh realities of being a public figure and the importance of standing by one's friends, even when it may not be popular. The experience served as a reminder that not everyone will be supportive, but true friends will always have your back. The speaker expresses his love and appreciation for his friend and emphasizes the importance of loyalty and standing by one another in times of need.

    • Exploring movie promotion options, legal challenges ariseDespite encountering legal obstacles, the speaker remains confident and resourceful, using humor and a nonchalant attitude to navigate the situation, and shares a trailer for a movie blending action and humor.

      During a conversation about a potential movie project, the speaker expresses excitement about the prospect of buying a billboard for promotion, but encounters legal concerns and obstacles. Despite these challenges, the speaker remains confident and determined, using humor and a nonchalant attitude to navigate the situation. The conversation also reveals the speaker's background in the entertainment industry and his experience with the unpredictable nature of film production. Ultimately, the speaker shares a trailer for the movie, which he believes will resonate with audiences due to its blend of action and humor. Throughout the conversation, the speaker demonstrates a resilient and resourceful attitude, refusing to be deterred by potential setbacks.

    • Politics, Sports, and Entertainment: A Complex InterplayDespite political tensions, individual Russian talents in sports and entertainment are celebrated in America. Comedy provides unexpected surprises and joy in a theater setting, while making a movie involves taking risks for memorable results.

      Individual Russians in sports, such as boxing, are recognized for their talent in the US, despite political tensions between Russia and America. Meanwhile, Brittany Griner, a WNBA player, remains in a Russian jail. The conversation also touched on the importance of comedy and the desire for wild, unfiltered humor, as seen in the upcoming movie project. The speakers emphasized the joy of experiencing comedy in a theater setting and the need for unexpected surprises in comedy. They also discussed the challenges of making a movie and the importance of taking risks to create something memorable. Overall, the conversation highlighted the complexities of politics, sports, and entertainment, and the enduring appeal of humor.

    • The Power of Authenticity in the Entertainment IndustryStay true to your art and not let fear of backlash hold you back. Small groups on social media can influence public opinion, but authenticity prevails.

      The entertainment industry has undergone significant changes due to social media, leading to a culture of fear and self-censorship. The speaker shares a personal story of how he was once pressured to clean up his act to get ahead in comedy, but found success when he was true to himself. He emphasizes the importance of staying true to one's art and not letting fear of backlash hold you back. The speaker also highlights the power of small groups on social media to influence public opinion, and the potential dangers of this. Overall, the message is to stay authentic and not be afraid to take risks in creative pursuits.

    • Embrace your unique style despite criticismStay true to your style, even when faced with rejection or criticism. Niceness and respect go a long way in the industry, even if it feels adversarial at first.

      Perseverance and staying true to one's style, even when faced with criticism or rejection, can lead to success in the entertainment industry. The speaker shares a personal experience of being advised to clean up his act to get work, but instead chose to embrace his "dirty" comedy style and eventually broke down doors with it. He also emphasizes that not everyone in the industry is genuine or experienced, and it's important to be nice and respectful to those in positions of power, even if it feels adversarial at first. Ultimately, the speaker's unique style and determination helped him stand out and make a career in comedy.

    • Unexpected moments and unintended humorEmbrace and appreciate unexpected moments and unintended humor as they can lead to memorable experiences and strengthen relationships

      Unexpected moments and unintended humor can lead to the most memorable and enjoyable experiences, especially among a group of like-minded individuals, such as comedians. The discussion revolves around a comedian's audition and the impact of an unplanned moment during the process. This moment, which involved a misunderstanding and a misunderstood gesture, led to the comedian's success and brought everyone involved together in a shared moment of laughter. The group's unique sense of humor and their ability to find amusement in the unexpected set them apart from the norm and reinforced their bond. The importance of embracing and appreciating these moments, even when they are not intended to be funny, is a valuable lesson for anyone, regardless of their profession or interests.

    • Garth Brooks fans' humorous antics on social mediaSocial media allows fans to form unique connections with celebrities, resulting in unexpected humor and enduring passion

      Social media can bring unexpected humor and connection, even in seemingly mundane situations. The discussion revolves around fans of Garth Brooks making light-hearted jokes about his frequent flyer habits and a reported incident of someone defecating on his private jet. Despite the potential embarrassment for Brooks, his fans' antics have become a source of amusement for the podcast hosts and their audience. The incident highlights the power of community and the unique dynamic that can form between celebrities and their fans in the digital age. While some may view these actions as intrusive, others see it as a testament to the enduring passion and dedication of fans towards their idols.

    • The Complex Relationship Between Fans and CelebritiesThe dynamic between fans and celebrities can lead to unexpected outcomes, from backlash to publicity stunts, and even collaborations.

      The dynamic between fans and celebrities can be complex, with trolling and confusion leading to unexpected outcomes. A notable example is the interaction between Tom Segura and Garth Brooks. Tom, known for his provocative comments, made fun of Garth's dating video, expecting backlash. Instead, fans rallied behind him, and the situation turned into a publicity stunt. Conversely, some Garth fans, who may not be the most discerning, could be confused or even supportive of harmful comments about their idol. This confusion and lack of understanding can make victims feel powerless. However, in some cases, these situations can also lead to unexpected collaborations and even fan appreciation. Ultimately, the takeaway is that the relationship between fans and celebrities is intricate and can result in unexpected consequences.

    • Garth Brooks' Successful Career and FanbaseCountry music icon Garth Brooks maintains control over his music and career through strategic deals and ticket sales, inspiring fans and independent artists with his longevity and autonomy.

      Garth Brooks, a successful country music artist, has maintained control over his music and career by making deals with platforms like Amazon Music and selling tickets in large quantities, even in countries like Ireland. Fans of Brooks are passionate about his music and his autonomy, and they appreciate his ability to manage his public image despite occasional jokes or misunderstandings. Brooks' career longevity and success serve as an inspiration for independent artists and fans alike. Additionally, the conversation highlights the power of social media and the potential for jokes or misunderstandings to spread quickly, emphasizing the importance of clear communication and context.

    • Competing against others can lead to growth and enjoymentCompeting pushes us to our limits, helps us grow, and focuses on improvement rather than outcome. Set realistic goals, recognize progress, and celebrate achievements.

      Challenges, even without a clear winner or loser, can be beneficial and enjoyable experiences. Engaging in competition with others can push us to our limits and help us grow, both mentally and physically. However, the focus should be on the process and improvement rather than the outcome. The conversation also touched upon the importance of setting realistic goals and recognizing the progress made, no matter how small. Additionally, it's important to remember that everyone has unique abilities and strengths, and comparing ourselves to others can be counterproductive. Instead, we should focus on our own growth and celebrate the achievements of those around us.

    • The Pavel Tsatsouline method emphasizes longer rest periods between sets for improved strength and injury preventionLonger rest periods between sets can help larger individuals perform exercises effectively, reduce joint damage, and improve overall recovery, according to the Pavel Tsatsouline method

      When it comes to building strength and avoiding injury, taking more rest between sets can be beneficial. This approach, known as the Pavel Tsatsouline method, emphasizes that strength is a skill and that shaking uncontrollably after a set indicates that you're not performing the lift effectively. By splitting up the work into more sets with longer rest periods, you can avoid joint damage and soreness, especially with exercises like pull-ups, which can be particularly challenging for larger individuals. Additionally, heavier individuals may find that certain exercises, such as push-ups and chin-ups, require more effort, making longer rest periods necessary for optimal performance. This method can lead to improved heart rate variability, sleep efficiency, and overall recovery, making it a valuable approach for those looking to build strength and minimize injury risk.

    • The power of community and accountability in maintaining a healthy lifestyleParticipating in a fitness challenge with friends increases accountability and leads to discovering effective workout routines. Regular health check-ups and medication adherence are crucial for managing health, while occasional indulgences help maintain balance.

      Accountability and community play a significant role in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. The speaker shared their experience of participating in a fitness challenge with friends, which led to increased accountability and a mental shift in approaching their workouts. They also discovered various effective workout routines, such as kettlebell circuits and Peloton bike sessions, to meet their calorie goals within a limited time frame. Additionally, the speaker recognized the importance of regular health check-ups and medication adherence for managing their health, while still allowing themselves occasional indulgences to maintain balance. Overall, the discussion highlights the importance of a supportive network, effective workout routines, and consistent health management for achieving and maintaining a healthier lifestyle.

    • Enjoying the present moment is crucialBalancing personal growth with enjoying the present moment and incorporating physical activity for better mental and emotional well-being.

      While it's important to prioritize self-improvement and personal growth, it's equally essential to acknowledge and enjoy the present moment. As comedian Ari Shaffir shared in a conversation, sometimes the best experiences come from unexpected encounters, like having a drink with friends or meeting a comedy legend. These moments can bring joy and create memories that last a lifetime. It's crucial to strike a balance between working towards goals and allowing ourselves to have a good time. Additionally, physical activity, such as working out, can significantly improve mental and emotional well-being, making it an essential component of a well-rounded lifestyle.

    • Committing to a daily challenge for growth and accountabilityDaily challenges foster personal growth, accountability, and community through mutual support and improvement.

      Accountability and challenges can lead to personal growth and a sense of community. The discussion revolves around the idea of committing to a challenge, such as doing a certain number of squats daily, as a way to hold each other accountable and reap the benefits of improvement and camaraderie. The conversation also touches upon the idea that these challenges should not be seen as competitions, but rather as opportunities for mutual support and growth. The group plans to continue this practice beyond the current challenge, recognizing the value it brings to their lives.

    • Discussing a group fitness challenge for motivation and accountabilityGroup fitness challenges provide motivation and accountability for maintaining a healthy lifestyle through consistent exercise and finding workouts that fit daily life.

      The group is discussing the idea of a collective fitness challenge to maintain momentum and continue their health journey. They mention various workout ideas, such as a week-long challenge, mobility workouts, and bodyweight circuits. One workout mentioned specifically is a farmer's walk with a heavy weight, which engages the core and requires balance. The group also mentions the importance of consistency and finding workouts that can be easily incorporated into daily life. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of finding motivation and accountability to maintain a healthy lifestyle through group challenges and consistent exercise.

    • Staying committed to fitness leads to improvementsConsistently practicing bodyweight exercises or using equipment can enhance strength and health. Start small, gradually build up, prioritize warm-ups, and find support to stay motivated.

      Consistency and dedication to fitness, whether through bodyweight exercises like push-ups or using equipment like kettlebells, can lead to significant improvements in strength and overall health. It's important to start small, build up gradually, and prioritize proper warm-ups to avoid injury. Additionally, finding a supportive community or accountability partner can help keep motivation high and make the journey more enjoyable. The speaker shares his personal experiences and encourages listeners to set achievable fitness goals and stick to them, no matter how small the progress may seem at first.

    • Personal habits and health transformationsConsistently practicing healthy habits like working out and eating well can lead to noticeable changes, but progress may not always be linear. Seek professional help for health concerns and don't rely solely on external validation.

      Consistency and mindfulness in personal habits, such as working out and eating well, can lead to noticeable changes over time. However, it's important to remember that progress may not always be linear and external validation, like push-up challenges, should not be the sole measure of success. Additionally, unexpected health issues can arise and require professional attention. During a conversation at a new studio, the speaker shared his experience of discovering his trainer's significant transformation and their subsequent push-up challenge. Despite his initial doubts about the legitimacy of the challenge, he eventually participated and was impressed by the trainer's impressive performance. However, the speaker also revealed his own health concern, an imbalance in his back muscle development, which he discovered during a visit to a nerve doctor. This issue was unrelated to his past injury but affected his ability to perform certain exercises and caused pain. The conversation underscores the importance of being consistent in personal habits, but also highlights the importance of seeking professional help when dealing with health concerns.

    • Realizing the importance of maintaining physical strength as we ageMaintaining strength and avoiding risky behaviors like working out without proper form or while intoxicated is crucial for overall health and well-being as we age to prevent injuries and deterioration.

      As we age, it's essential to prioritize maintaining our physical strength to avoid injuries and prevent our bodies from deteriorating. A person shared his experience of being advised by a trainer that he was a "deconditioned athlete," despite still being able to do push-ups. This concept was new to him, as he hadn't realized that not working out and letting his body slip away could lead to injuries and limitations. The importance of this realization became clear when he recalled an incident from his past where he and his friends had attempted to bench press while drunk, resulting in injuries. This experience served as a reminder that maintaining strength and avoiding risky behaviors, such as working out without proper form or while intoxicated, is crucial for overall health and well-being as we age.

    • Embracing diverse approaches to successFind what drives you and trust in your ability to overcome challenges, as success comes in various forms through unique approaches and perspectives

      Everyone has unique approaches to achieving excellence. Some people, like Burt, thrive on divine moments and the excitement of pushing beyond their limits. Others, like Joe, believe in consistent practice and hard work to reach a high level of proficiency. Their contrasting perspectives highlight the importance of embracing diverse viewpoints and recognizing that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to success. The conversation also touches upon the idea that sometimes, hearing that we can't do something can fuel our determination to prove others wrong. Ultimately, it's essential to find what drives us and to trust in our ability to overcome challenges.

    • Friend's impressive physique inspires commitment to fitness and passionsStay dedicated to personal goals, embrace unique qualities, and commit fully to passions for a fulfilling life.

      Maintaining physical fitness and staying true to one's passions are key to living an fulfilling life. The speaker expresses admiration for a friend's impressive physique and shares his own goal to get in shape and perform at his best. He also emphasizes the importance of being fully committed to one's interests and not letting go, even when faced with challenges or distractions. The conversation also touches on the idea that obsession can be a driving force for success in various fields, from sports to comedy. Overall, the discussion highlights the importance of staying dedicated to personal goals and embracing the unique qualities that make us who we are.

    • Jake Paul proves himself as a fighter against Anderson SilvaYouTube star Jake Paul demonstrated his fighting skills and athleticism in a match against seasoned veteran Anderson Silva, knocking him down in the eighth round and making a name for himself in the boxing world.

      Jake Paul, despite being perceived as a YouTube celebrity, demonstrated his fighting skills and athleticism in his match against Anderson Silva. The knockdown that occurred was due to a solid punch from Paul, and he proved his legitimacy as a fighter by knocking down a seasoned veteran like Silva in the eighth round. Regardless of his background, Paul has been making significant money from his fights and has shown improvement with each bout. He may not be the best fighter in the world, but he's certainly making a name for himself and challenging established champions. The debate surrounding Paul's earnings is ongoing, but it's clear that he's a force to be reckoned with in the boxing world.

    • Canelo Alvarez and Tyson Fury's Impact on BoxingCanelo Alvarez and Tyson Fury are boxing legends, with Canelo being the top PPV draw and Tyson Fury solidifying his place in history with victories over Deontay Wilder. Big fights continue to draw audiences despite boxing's declining popularity.

      Canelo Alvarez and Tyson Fury are two of the most prominent figures in the boxing world, with Canelo being the top pay-per-view draw and Tyson Fury being hailed as a heavyweight monster and one of the greatest heavyweights of all time. Tyson Fury's accomplishments, including his victories over Deontay Wilder, have solidified his place in boxing history. Boxing may not be as popular as it once was, but there still need to be big fights to draw in audiences. Dana White, the president of UFC, underwent a lifestyle change after receiving a dire health warning from a doctor, and since then, he has lost weight, adopted a ketogenic carnivore diet, and looks much healthier. Overall, the conversation touched on the greatness of Canelo and Tyson Fury in boxing, the importance of big fights, and Dana White's health transformation.

    • The power of authenticity and self-expressionEmbrace change, stay true to oneself, and connect with the audience through genuine expression.

      The power of authenticity and self-expression shines through in successful creative projects and performances. The speaker fondly recalled moments of humor and personal growth, highlighting the importance of staying true to oneself and embracing change. Whether it's a favorite TV show or a comedian's act, the magic lies in the connection between the artist and their audience. The speaker also emphasized the importance of balance in life, acknowledging the challenges of maintaining a healthy lifestyle while still enjoying the simple pleasures. Ultimately, the conversation underscored the value of living in the moment and appreciating the journey, whether it's on stage or off.

    • Exercise for mental clarity and reduced anxietyRegular exercise can improve mental and emotional well-being by reducing anxiety and clearing the mind, leading to surprising capabilities and a positive impact on overall health.

      Regular physical activity, such as working out, can help reduce anxiety and clear the mind by focusing the mind on the task at hand. The benefits of exercise, though challenging to maintain every day, are significant and can lead to improved mental and emotional well-being. The speaker's personal experience shows that the body adapts to the demands of exercise, and pushing oneself beyond perceived limits can lead to surprising capabilities. The commitment to a consistent exercise routine, even if it's not daily, can have a positive impact on overall health and stress levels.

    • Balancing Personal Life and Professional Commitments for ComediansComedians need to find a balance between touring for their craft and maintaining a stable personal life to draw inspiration and stay authentic in their performances.

      Finding a balance between personal life and professional commitments is crucial for comedians, as emphasized by the speakers in this discussion. They both agree on the importance of living a well-rounded life and drawing inspiration from various experiences. However, they have different approaches to achieving this balance. While some prefer to go on long tours to hone their craft and push their creativity, others believe in the value of performing at home and maintaining a stable family life. Ultimately, the key is to keep working on one's craft in a way that feels authentic and fulfilling to the individual.

    • Embracing the Journey and FriendshipsAppreciate new experiences, cherish friendships, and embrace the spirit of the road. Life's about figuring things out together.

      Life is a continuous journey of figuring things out, and there's no right or wrong way to approach it. The speaker emphasizes the importance of experiencing new things and appreciating friendships. He suggests planning some massive shows in September and potentially doing sober shows in October. The group discusses their admiration for each other and their shared experiences, even if they may involve jokes and challenges. The speaker encourages everyone to embrace the spirit of the road and the fun that comes with it, no matter how ridiculous it may seem. Ultimately, the group values their friendship and the unique experiences they create together.

    • Respecting Personal PrioritiesRecognize and respect people's commitments in their personal lives, appreciate unique bonds, and understand individual choices.

      Despite appearances or assumptions, it's important to recognize and respect people's priorities and commitments in their personal lives. The speaker shared his experience of working with Tom, who prioritized his family over his career and personal engagements. The speaker admired Tom for this and acknowledged that he himself didn't have the same luxury when he had a family. The conversation also touched on the appreciation for the camaraderie and support within the comedy community and the importance of cherishing those connections. The speaker expressed missing his friend Bill Burr and the unique bond they shared through their comedy careers. Overall, the conversation highlighted the importance of understanding and respecting individual choices and priorities, and the value of meaningful relationships.

    • Avoiding unnecessary online conflicts can bring positivity and strengthen relationshipsFocus on positivity and uplifting online interactions, avoid conflicts, and support friends by sharing their work to build and strengthen relationships.

      Engaging in unnecessary online conflicts can have unintended consequences, hurting not just those involved but also bringing in unwanted attention. It's essential to remember that online interactions are not just among friends, and careless words can have long-lasting impacts. Instead, focus on the positive and uplifting aspects of relationships and interactions. For example, promoting a friend's work or sharing their content can bring joy to many and strengthen bonds. So, let's strive to spread positivity and avoid unnecessary conflicts online. Additionally, the speaker emphasized the importance of considering the reach and impact of online platforms like YouTube and social media. For instance, sharing a friend's work on these platforms can lead to significant growth in their audience, as seen in Ari Shafir's case. So, supporting friends and amplifying their voices online can be a meaningful and impactful way to build and strengthen relationships.

    • A heartfelt tribute to Garth Brooks and his musicSpeakers shared personal experiences of how Garth Brooks' songs brought people together and created memorable moments. They emphasized the importance of forgiveness and unity in enjoying music on Spotify.

      Despite the seemingly chaotic and nonsensical conversation, the speakers expressed their admiration and connection to Garth Brooks and his music. They shared personal experiences of how his songs brought people together and created memorable moments. The speakers also emphasized the importance of forgiveness and unity, as they were all "fishing in the same pond" and enjoying music from the same platform, Spotify. The conversation may have been unconventional, but the underlying message was a heartfelt tribute to Garth Brooks and the power of his music.

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    Debra Hotaling (00:04):

    Hello and welcome to the Dareful Project. I'm Debra Hotaling. Some people climb big mountains and some surf big waves. But my friend Kim Coutts, she makes new friends. She makes friends like a ninja warrior. She makes friends like you would prepare for a triathlon or you would climb Mount Whitney. In other words, she is all in. And she did this as a challenge to herself and her stories are amazing. So she's here with us today to talk about why she took on the challenge, how she started to make new friends, and what we can learn from this sort of extreme sport of friendship making. Kim, welcome.

    Kim Coutts (00:48):

    Thank you for having me. So fun.

    Debra (00:50):

    So all of us as we get older, I mean we used to have our kid friends. We would just hang out and play together. And then as young people and parents, we would be friends of college friends or we would be friends of our kids', friends, their parents. And now it's harder. It just feels harder. How do you find new friends? How did you get this way? How did you get started?

    Kim (01:18):

    I think I got divorced, and I think it's really easy to be complacent when you're living with another person. You never really hit that loneliness spot where you're like, oh my gosh, I have to do something huge to change this. But when I got divorced, I decided I would move out. I ended up all the way up in Portland sort of accidentally, and I was going through something and completely by myself, so I decided I needed to do something about it. And I dove. In my typical fashion, I have a tendency to overshoot things. I either don't do anything at all or I do too much. So I probably did more than I needed to, but I learned a lot and have kind of kept doing it. And I will say I listen to a lot of podcasts like yours, which are amazing. But I was listening to one the other day on goal setting and how we achieve goals and they really recommend that you can only achieve one goal at a time and you really need to focus on one thing and write down all the verbs of the things that are required to do it.

    Kim (02:16):

    So I definitely go through phases where I focus on other things, but I am back in a friend making mode right now. So it's definitely one of my top goals I'm focused on again at this time.

    Debra (02:27):

    And listeners are go, yeah. Yeah, we're all about friendships. I like making friends too. But I got to tell you guys, we are not even in the league of Kim. We were talking on the phone last week and this is how I got so excited about sharing this with y'all because she just started going down the meetup list. And keep me honest on this, Kim, but it sounded like you were just bringing up Meetup and just checking all the boxes. I mean all those weird things, all of those, I don't know if that's super sketchy things you were in, right?

    Kim (03:00):

    I am in Meetup is odd. It's a really amazing tool, but I also view it kind of online dating and it's a numbers game or a sales funnel as a lot of people might look at it. So I figure I have to join probably 20 meetup groups. I'll go to 10 or 11, I'll like five or six, and then I'll maybe make two or three friends from one of those because a lot of it you want it to result in five great new friendships when you show up. But it's not that easy. And when I was thinking about it before coming today, I realized that I actually haven't made a lot of long-term friends from my meetup groups that I've been in. But I do think that it spurs an energy and a focus and an intention that sort of puts that energy out in the world and then makes other things happen. Friendship is kind of that magic that you get to meet somebody and you connect and you like the same things. And I love that energy. And it doesn't always happen because of my meetup groups, but I do think that it puts that energy out there and then that magic happens where I just happen to sit down next to the right person in a bar or meet someone at work or public transit, whatever it is. I think it sort of sets that intention and helps you find them, even if it is in other ways.

    Debra (04:18):

    I like this because some of my guy friends would say that it was a numbers game with dating, you just kind of ask a lot of women out and then somebody says yes. And a lot of people say no, and it's okay. This kind of feels a little bit like the same thing.

    Kim (04:33):

    I actually feel like it is the same thing. I mean that magic, that connection with another person really is the same thing. But I think as humans we think that dating is, yeah, for sure you should be out there looking for your person, but how often do you run into somebody that tells you their main goal in life is making new friends? People just don't really prioritize it or they want it, but they don't really plan and go out to do it. And I do think there's still a little bit of a stigma to it that if you say you don't have enough friends, there's something wrong with you and you're a loser or that you're supposed to just collect them in life and they stick around forever. And then my case, that hasn't really happened. I have some great friends that moved away and we're certainly still friends, but I don't get to go and hang out with them. And then particularly when you have big life changes, I think you need to replace some of those friends. And I found out there was a lot of couple friends that were uncomfortable for some reason or another, and I still haven't quite figured that out. But being friends with someone that wasn't in a couple and I just didn't get invited to things for six, seven and my friends just immediately quit inviting me to stuff. So I had to figure out a way to replace that.

    Debra (05:43):

    It does feel weird though. I mean, I've met folks that I'm like, you're really cool. I would like to go have lunch with you. And I feel incredibly awkward saying, hi, will you be my friend and go out to lunch with me. Did you feel that way or are you just so brave?

    Kim (06:00):

    I do feel that way, but I a hundred percent make myself do it. I met one of my closest friends right now. She was interviewing for a job at my company. I had her resume. I saw that she lived in my neighborhood, which is kind of odd. I live about 40 minutes away from our office, so it's not that normal to have someone in my neighborhood. The job wasn't right. She didn't want it, it just wasn't a good fit. But she mentioned on our interview call that she was new to the area and didn't know a lot of people. I emailed her after the interview and just said, Hey, I know that this isn't going to work out as a job, but I thought we really connected and do you want to go grab happy hour? And that was hard. You are, it's just asking someone for a date. I think you put yourself out there, but then if someone did that to you and wanted to be your friend, would you ever be bummed about it? It's so flattering.

    Debra (06:50):

    No, and it's so rare as you're saying that, I can see in my mind the handful of men and women who were brave enough to say, let's go have lunch together. I think you'd be cool as a friend. That is so rare. But wait, but I have to ask, do people turn you down?

    Kim (07:08):

    No one has ever turned me down, but what people do is just disappear. And that's the other thing I've had to learn is that friendship. People say it comes in seasons, and I've always been that person then if I really like you, I want to hold onto you and spend time with you. And I've definitely had friendships that were around for five or six months and then they just sort of disappear. And I've realized that that has to be okay. But I always think that, oh gosh, what did I say? Or what did I do? And you kind of put it on your own self more than thinking that, oh, they're busy or there's so many reasons, but people do disappear sometimes, and that's tough. But I figured for a reason.

    Debra (07:49):

    And then there's also the second date question, I guess, because it's one thing to go, oh, would you like to go grab a glass of wine and we'll go and hang out together? But then you have to decide, do I like you well enough to ask you out again as a friend, right?

    Kim (08:04):

    Yep, a hundred percent. And I feel like once you get past that, once you've done something together three times, then you're friends and then it becomes normal and you don't have to feel weird about it. But I feel like those first three times are a little bit, you just never know. And I've actually really relied on Groupon. That's another thing that people sort of forget about and make fun of, but there's so many fun things to do on Groupon that I've had a couple, three or four friendships that started that way with Let's just both go pick something interesting on Groupon and go do that. And it gives you sort of a shared adventure. One of the same person who I met through the interview, we went on a sidecar tour, so we both gotten this motorcycle sidecar and went on a tour and some kind of a wine tasting tour. So it was an adventure that kind of bonds you in a way that maybe just going out to dinner or happy hour doesn't do.

    Debra (08:56):

    Have there ever been moments that didn't go right or you turned weird?

    Kim (09:05):

    No, I mean there's definitely mishaps. I think the last time we were talking, I told you that I was out on a date or showed up for a date and ended up getting stood up. And I looked horribly sad because not only was I all dressed up on a Tuesday, but it was around Christmas time and I just went to a cookie exchange with a friend. So I had this beautiful box of cookies with a big bow on top, and I had sat it next to me on the bar so you could just completely tell that I was getting stood up and it wasn't my best night. But this woman ended up sitting down next to me and we hit it off and she actually asked for my phone number. She asked first, which was lovely, which I gave to her on a receipt. And then I didn't hear from her for probably six months. And I just thought, well, no big deal. I had a nice conversation with someone. It helped me get over the fact that I was getting stood up for the first time in my life. But then she actually remembered my last name, my first and last name from that conversation, found me online and sent me a Facebook messenger request, and we got together and have been friends ever since. So you never know.

    Debra (10:12):

    Aw, and good for her. That's brave to give someone your phone number.

    Kim (10:17):

    Yeah. Or to ask for it, right? Yep. And I also, I thought about one of the other things, I've met some friends, but I have an Airbnb that I room I rent in my house, and that is a very immediate intimacy to immediately be living with a stranger. So there's definitely some times where people wanted to be friends with me in that case, and I did not necessarily, and that's a tough thing to navigate when they're living in your house.

    Debra (10:48):

    Whoa…

    Kim (10:49):

    She asked if she could borrow my bathing suit once for my jacuzzi.

    Debra (10:54):

    Wait, what?

    Kim (10:55):

    So there’s definitely some boundary stuff there. I had to really, and I'm such a people pleaser, my first reaction is, well, of course. And then I was thinking, I'll just let her have it. I'll throw it away. But I had to get my courage together and tell her that that's two things. I don't share bathing suits and toothbrushes.

    Debra (11:12):

    But wait, we just have to double click on this for a sec. I just want all of our viewers and listeners just to check in on the fact that Kim rents a room in her house because she can meet new people again to that extreme ninja warrior spirit for friendship because if things don't go well…

    Kim (11:33):

    I'll be honest though. I mean I do it for money. I'm not entirely crazy. I'm not that all in. That was also part of my divorce and making sure that I could cover my expenses. And when I moved out, when I got divorced, I lived in 17 Airbnbs in a year. So I saw the other side of it and then I thought, well, this isn't too bad. So I did start doing it when I got home. So I do it primarily for the money, but also it is a great place to make friends. I've had one woman that stayed for a year and a half and was only going to stay for a month, and she definitely became a friend and then another person that ended up staying for five or six months.

    Debra (12:13):

    I need to know so much more about this. Do you interview people in a different way than if you know that you're going to be opening up your home in this way to them?

    Kim (12:21):

    For the most part, people will book short term and then end up wanting to stay. So by then I already know them and I know that it's good because I would mean if you were thinking about the old ways that people used to choose roommates and that type of stuff, you would get together and talk to each other. So for the most part, people, the woman that stayed for a year and a half had booked a month and then just asked if she could stay. And the other one was a friend who's a soccer player that had made the team here, moved into team housing and then just hated it. He was living in the living room, they were shoving as many soccer players as they could get in this house, and he couldn't really focus or he'd be the best athlete he thought he could be so moved back into here so he could have some quiet and space.

    Debra (13:09):

    That actually sounds lovely, like a grownup. All the best of living in a dorm without the crazy.

    Kim (13:14):

    Right. That was amazing. He would bring the full team over here at lunch and they would use the pool and rest during tryouts. And I did not hate having a soccer team in my backyard.

    Debra (13:27):

    Well done. Well done.

    Kim (13:29):

    Yeah, not bad.

    Debra (13:32):

    So do you get mad skills doing it this way? Are you able to suss out a situation and go, this is maybe this is a maybe or this is a no. How does it work for you inside your head?

    Kim (13:46):

    I think most people just, well, I mean when I meet someone, there's that definite connection and I think, and in the meantime, it's really just about forcing yourself out there to keep trying. I went to a new meetup group brunch last weekend and I woke up an hour and a half before and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep and not go. So it's a lot of energy to put yourself out there, but I got up and I did it. So I think just a matter of the thing that really works is just keep trying, getting yourself out there.

    Debra (14:20):

    When researchers do work on friendships, they have something that they call, what is it called? Fast friends. And it's a protocol that they use to connect strangers so that they can watch interactions. And it's this method of asking each other, sharing little things that become more personal and more personal over time, but not oversharing or undersharing or making someone else share a lot and not sharing. It's kind of that even sharing of back and forth. Have you found that that's kind of the way that you approach a series of new friends or how

    Kim (14:58):

    I don't think about it that much. For instance, at that brunch last weekend, there were 12 people there and me and one other person, we just had things in common. She was going through something that I had been through and we just naturally, I tried to talk to everybody, but we naturally just started talking to each other and we exchanged numbers, but then we haven't crossed that second date platform yet where we've crossed over. But I'm watching the meetup group now to see, okay, I'm going to see if the next time she does something, I'm probably going to want to show up. That type of thing, I guess I don't really think about it quite as much, but I mean it definitely works. And it reminds me of those, they have those 36 questions to ask, make anybody fall in love with you.

    Debra (15:44):

    I went through those. I have to say, this says more about me than it does about the questions that some of those were so intimate that I don't know that anyone has ever asked me those questions. And I would have a hard time sharing them.

    Kim (15:56):

    Really.

    Debra (15:57):

    You're a sharer though.

    Kim (15:58):

    I am. I'm probably an oversharer. Yeah, I will just put it out there.

    Debra (16:04):

    Kim and I have been friends for a while. I remember you always being very open, but have you learned to be even more open as a result of this adventure?

    Kim (16:14):

    Shockingly, I used to be very shy. So when I was up through even my first year of college, I was painfully shy, but I wanted to be a reporter. I had gotten a job at a newspaper. I was dating my husband at the time, and he used to call me the shy Reporter, and I made up quotes for people for the first four or five months I worked for that newspaper. It was a small paper and no one really cared as long as you've made them sound good, he had a really big family. And I remember the exact moment we were in Vegas at a wedding and he had left me for about an hour and a half and I was bored. I was sitting there alone and they told people, go find the person you love most in the room for this next dance. And he was coming towards me and I finally wasn't going to be alone. And the last minute he grabbed his aunt and pulled her on the dance floor and we got in a giant fight and he said, if you would talk to anybody, you wouldn't be so bored. And I thought, you know what? You're right. And the next day I just made myself start and now you can't shut me up.

    Debra (17:18):

    Oh my God, I am laughing so hard inside my heart about your first job. My first job was in corporate communications and I remember being terrified to call people on the phone. And so I would write down everything I was going to say, hello Kim. Good morning. I would write it down because otherwise I would just be too terrified to call.

    Kim (17:45):

    And our jobs were similar back in the day where sometimes you'd be given a list for earned media outreach where you'd have to call three or 400 people and it was just horrible. I hated doing it, but you get used to it over time. And yeah, now it's just kind of part of who I am. And I realized that people really respond to those personalities more. My first husband was a little bit of a clown. He worked at a hula hands Irish restaurant for even a couple years after graduation. And he told me a story. The people who worked there, the waiters would be there for a long time, but the managers would turn over a lot and every night when they would get there, they would order nachos for their first meal and he would carry it out, wait till the last minute and then pretend to trip and put his face in the guacamole in the sour cream. And my shy self was just like, that's dumb. I can't believe you do that. I was almost embarrassed that he did that. And then in watching him and how he interact with people, people just love that. They love you to be goofy. And I noticed that people liked him better than they like me. So even though we're divorced, he taught me some really important skills and I definitely changed. I realized that people just react to people that are a little bit more open.

    Debra (19:06):

    A little bit of face on the guacamole never hurts.

    Kim (19:09):

    Exactly. Nobody ever minded people thought it was funny.

    Debra (19:14):

    Can you list for me some of your top 10 meetups?

    Kim (19:22):

    When I was in Portland, they were more interesting, a little bit stranger in great Portland fashion, and I loved Portland, but I joined the Strange and Unusual Women of Portland and we went on tour or to a devil museum. I went to sex yoga--talking about oversharing--and that was held at a midwifery and we did 10 minutes of interpretive dancing at the beginning.  I joined a cold plunge group that does breath work and goes into the ocean dragon boat racing, whatever it is. I like the stranger the better. I am one of those people that has my hobby is trying to find a hobby. So I try things and I do it for six weeks and then I realize I don't love it and I move on to something else. So I'll try anything for a little while. So I did dragon boat racing actually in Portland, and I'm trying to start that up again here. I joined the meetup group was all excited, and then a week later they said it was shutting down, the organizer had disappeared.

    Debra (20:28):

    Oh my god,

    Kim (20:30):

    God love anybody that organizes a meetup group because so far that's sort of been beyond what I've been willing to do, but I am thinking about starting my own group now.

    Debra (20:40):

    Wait, so what would your group be?

    Kim (20:42):

    So I just read an article about loneliness and fact that it is as dangerous to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or drinking six drinks. And that blew my mind. And evidently in the UK they have a minister of loneliness. They've actually appointed a government position to try and fix that. You would imagine it's going to cost a lot in healthcare costs. And they do these things called glamour parties. So once a month they invite the entire community and you dress up in your best outfit and just show up to a pub.

    Debra (21:17):

    So you get to wear fancy clothes and have food.

    Kim (21:20):

    No one gets to wear fancy clothes anymore now that we don't go out and have been bring food and just talk to new people. And they are trying to start one in every village in the UK. And I thought maybe we need a glamour club in San Diego.

    Debra (21:34):

    I love that. Alright, if you do that, we're going to make sure that we post it up on the site here so that people can join if they want to.

    Kim (21:45):

    That would be amazing.

    Debra (21:46):

    So we're not all as brave as you, Kim. We're not all as brave. So how does one get started? If you're shy, what would be the one thing to begin?

    Kim (21:58):

    I mean, I think the first thing to begin is admitting that it's a goal and making it a goal for yourself instead of just saying, I wish I had actually saying that this is my goal, I think is a huge thing. And sort of just getting past that stigma that there's not something wrong with you. This happens, we get older and we all need people. And maybe one of the easiest things to do would be what led you and I to this podcast is just reach out to people you care about that you haven't talked to in a while.

    Kim (22:27):

    You know that you already know them, it's going to be a great conversation and it feeds you in a way that then I think can get you a little bit more brave to maybe do other things. Then I would look at do three things, whatever it is, host a party and ask everybody that you invite that you already know and love to invite one person that you don't already know. I do that every year. I host a Gallant Times's party and invite all my girlfriends and ask everybody to bring somebody. I don't know. So that's one way you can do it with a core group of people that you already know or get one of your friends that has the same goal to show up to the meetups with you. That makes it a lot easier. So there's club sports, there's a lot of things that you can do short of opening up an Airbnb in your house, which is probably the furthest you can go or start something from work. Those people, you kind of have a sense for who you, like. Our job had had a movie club. Some people go out and see horror movies together, focusing on those core interests. So you know, have something in common generally makes it a little bit easier. And seeing a movie, you don't really have to carry on a conversation that whole time. That's

    Debra (23:43):

    True. I have some very, very outgoing friends and they have so many friends. And so sometimes what I'll do is just ask to be part of her friend group and then I automatically have all of her friends too.

    Kim (23:57):

    Yes, I do hate it when you invite your friends into your friend group and open up your friend group and then they don't do the same thing. I definitely have friends that still do that and they're like, no, sorry, I'm going out with my other friends. And

    Debra (24:11):

    Just, you bring up a good point though. Let's talk about sort of the rules of the road. What's reciprocity what? What's good manners when you're finding new friends?

    Kim (24:23):

    I have tried not to think about that because for a long time I was kind of like the scorekeeper that would think that people didn't like me as much if they weren't asking me to do things. I have some very busy friends with really big jobs that I will be lucky if I see them once every five or six months. And for a while that bothered me a little bit. And then I had to realize that everybody has different schedules and different needs for human interaction and I love to plan. And so I've decided that I'm not going to keep score anymore and I'm just going to go for it. But I do think just as being a nice person, showing up, that's the other thing that happens a lot in meetup groups, I would say you usually get about 30% of the people at RSVP actually showing up. And that's a huge thing for the organizers especially. So if you're going to commit to it, commit to it and go for it and then try to, if someone really goes out on a limb and tries to be friends with you, maybe it's your job to ask for the second date.

    Debra (25:27):

    That's really smart. And as you're saying that during Covid, I was part of a Zoom salon group, a group of women coming together and just talking about current events. And I was ashamed to learn that many of these women, most of these women, in fact, it was a hard rule that if their friend didn't reach out to them every few days that they were not true friends. And I'm like, wow, I can really let a long time go before I reach out to folks. So that was a really helpful thing to learn that people have different expectations of staying in touch, what that means. And so I've learned to listen harder to what other people's needs are on that

    Kim (26:10):

    Or even just asking. I had one friend that I literally will, she lives in Nashville, I will talk to her once every six months and at one point I'm like, Hey, it just doesn't feel like we're friends anymore. And she said, why? And I said, we just never speak to each other. And she said, well, you never told me that was a requirement psychiatrist. I got to hand it to her. But I'm like, alright, that's fair. I did never tell you that was a requirement. So now I would like to speak to you once a quarter in order to maintain our friendship. And she really tries and she doesn't make it happen, but she's got little kids at home and she's in a very different place in her life than I am.

    Debra (26:49):

    I love that though, that you were brave enough to have that conversation.

    Kim (26:53):

    I did not want to. But yeah, she definitely forced. It was, I was just a little Ben out of shape and just trying to exit and she's like, hold on a second, you never told me that's important.

    Debra (27:05):

    Oh my gosh. What do you know now that you wish you would've known a few years ago about the nature of friendships?

    Kim (27:13):

    I think all of that sort of give and take and it's really hard and intimate relationships not to make it about you. And I finally figured out it's not about me and people don't wake up thinking about how they don't want to be friends with me. They just are busy. Or the fact that some things come and go in your life and I've had friends for a couple years and then they just disappear. And that used to really hurt me. And now I realize that there's a reason for those things and just much more mellow than I used to be.

    Debra (27:47):

    Well, in fact folks that the reason that we're talking today is that Kim out of the blue pinged me on LinkedIn and said, what are you doing? And it was so nice to see your name come up in my LinkedIn messaging. So thank you for doing that.

    Kim (28:04):

    Of course, I actually went to a networking class and she challenged us to reach out to five people that we cared about every day for, well one day, one person a day for a week. And that was probably the best thing I ever learned in a network. I'm not a big networker. I don't like a group of a room full of people that I don't know is my worst nightmare. I'm not that brave or outgoing, but it's a good reminder that there's a lot of people you cross over in your life that maybe you lose touch with. But I always sort of like to talk to.

    Debra (28:39):

    And if folks want to talk to Kim, I'm going to Kim, if it's okay with you, put your LinkedIn profile on the site so that folks can know about you and reach out to you if they're interested.

    Kim (28:51):

    Absolutely. I'm always looking for new friends or a job as the loneliness minister. If the US wants to get on it and start saving ourselves some healthcare dollars,

    Debra (29:03):

    Can I nominate you? I'm going to vote for you.

    Kim (29:06):

    Thank you. I think that would be amazing. Or maybe we can start in California. I actually work in mental health and nobody is talking about that and I don't understand why it's really interesting that this is an issue that we know how to cure it, but we can't figure out how to make ourselves do it.

    Debra (29:23):

    And I think we're so used to it. I was struck visiting Greece that people would ask me, we hear that Americans are lonely, how does that work? They really wanted to know how you could be lonely.

    Kim (29:35):

    Yeah, they're so connected and spend so much more time together. And our wealth as a country just really breeds isolation. And covid certainly did not help. We all retreated into our houses and I think it's still sort of hard to come back out.

    Debra (29:50):

    Talk about one more thing, You made a really provocative statement to me when we chatted last week about you get to a certain point in your life where you have a home and it's lovely and you have enough money that you can just sort of wall yourself off in that home and that's your life. That same day, I was listening to Warren Buffett being interviewed and he said the exact same thing. So what's in the air here, Kim?

    Kim (30:24):

    I hope, I mean, it's happened with a lot of my friends and I do think that you have a choice later on in life when you can make these decisions to have your life continue to get bigger or to just sort of get smaller. And I think we all need to spend time around people who aren't us. And that is the thing that the Airbnb does for me and most of my family and my friends think I'm nuts. You're letting a stranger in your house. I'm a single woman and I'm here alone. And I have never been a big rah rah. I love all people person, but I will say that after doing this for four or five years, it has been an amazing experience and that 97% of people are amazing. But I think it is good for you to, people talk about getting out of your comfort zone and that's where the growth happens. And it's absolutely true when you have to get along with someone that grew up in a completely different way and a different place and a different culture and live that close with them, it does teach you a lot. And I definitely think that we need to be mindful about making sure our lives keep getting bigger instead of smaller.

    Debra (31:34):

    Well, you, Kim Coutts are amazing. Thank you for joining us today.

    Kim (31:38):

    Thank you so much. It was so great to

    Debra (31:40):

    Thanks for listening to The Dareful Project. Please follow like and leave a review. It really helps. We're on all your favorite platforms, Spotify, apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, audible, tune in Amazon Music, Stitcher, SoundCloud, and YouTube. And to connect, you can email me at debra@darefulone.com. That's Debra, D-E-B-R-A at Dareful one. That's what the number one.com. Thanks for listening.