193. Sex and Dating Apps | Rob Henderson

Podcast Summary

• The Shift from Material to Intangible Luxury Beliefs: Rob Henderson identified 'luxury beliefs' as ideas and opinions that elevate the upper class while often burdening the lower classes. Originally rooted in material goods, these beliefs have evolved to focus on intangibles like education, career, and social causes.

  Rob Henderson, a PhD student in evolutionary and social psychology, introduced the concept of "luxury beliefs." These are ideas and opinions that confer status on the upper class while often imposing costs on the lower social classes. Henderson came up with this idea during his time as an undergraduate at Yale, where he noticed a disconnect between his classmates' unconventional beliefs and their plans for traditional family lives. He traced this phenomenon back to Thorstein Veblen's theory of the leisure class, which described how the elite of the late 19th century displayed their status through expensive material goods. However, in modern times, it's no longer fashionable for the wealthy to flaunt their status with luxury goods, as they have become more affordable and less distinguishing. Instead, luxury beliefs have shifted to intangible areas like education, career, and social causes.

• The upper class values social status over material possessions: High social status is a priority for the affluent, leading them to compete and display status through beliefs and ideologies

  While material possessions may hold less value in today's society, social status continues to be highly prized by the upper class. According to research by psychologist Cameron Anderson at UC Berkeley, those with high social status are most concerned with obtaining and preserving it. This desire to maintain status can lead to intense competition and anxiety among the affluent, driving them to display their status through beliefs and ideologies rather than material goods. This trend is evident in the popularity of progressive causes among high-status individuals, who use them to gain social points from their peers without considering the potential consequences for those less fortunate. Ultimately, the affluent have reattached status to beliefs rather than material possessions.

• Performing Radical Beliefs for an Edge: Some privileged individuals express radical beliefs to gain an edge, but these beliefs are often performed rather than genuinely held, and they may not fully understand the societal structures that benefit them.

  Some individuals from privileged backgrounds may hold radical beliefs as a means to gain an edge over their competition while maintaining their privileged status. They may express guilt over their privilege but do not necessarily act on it, continuing to prioritize their own security and future. These beliefs, which can be harmful to the less privileged, are often performed rather than genuinely believed, as the individuals do not bear the actual costs associated with these beliefs. Additionally, being surrounded by wealth and security can make it difficult for individuals to understand the necessity of certain societal structures and institutions, leading them to only see the negative aspects.

• Understanding the impact of luxury beliefs on vulnerable populations: Luxury beliefs, held by affluent, highly educated individuals, can have unintended consequences when they influence less privileged groups, potentially leading to increased instability and hardship.

  Those who have experienced little hardship in their lives may not fully understand or appreciate the necessity of certain measures, such as border protection or regulations on addictive technology, which ensure social peace and safety for everyone. Luxury beliefs, held primarily by highly educated affluent people, can have unintended consequences when they trickle down to less privileged groups. For instance, the trend towards sexual promiscuity among university students has led to increased instability and hardship for working-class women and single mothers. Historical data shows a significant decline in intact families among the working class since the 1960s, while the affluent have seen only a slight dip. This trend, fueled by luxury beliefs that view traditional institutions as outdated or oppressive, can have devastating effects on vulnerable populations. It's essential to consider the potential consequences of luxury beliefs, especially when they may impact those who are already struggling.

• Understanding People's Choices: Family Structures and Children's Performance: People's choices, including family structures, reflect their preferences, but some choices may negatively impact children's development. Historically, marriage provided economic support and care for children, but changing norms and access to technology have given individuals more freedom, benefiting some at the expense of stable family structures.

  People's choices, even if seemingly unfavorable, indicate their preferences. However, some choices, such as having a single-parent family, can have negative consequences for children. Despite the data showing that children in intact two-parent families perform better on average, there's a cultural reluctance to acknowledge that some family structures are better than others due to perceived discrimination. Historically, marriage may have had property-like associations, but it also provided economic support and care for children. Today, the ease of access to technology and changing norms around marriage have given individuals more freedom, but it also benefits psychopathic individuals who prioritize short-term gains over long-term commitments. Unfortunately, there's no economic or cultural incentive to support stable married couples, making it challenging to address this issue effectively.

• Dating apps and psychopathic behaviors: The culture of dating apps can encourage short-term gratification without emotional connection, potentially leading to psychopathic behaviors. Maintaining brain health through supplements like MATTER can help improve memory and cognitive function as we age.

  The culture of dating apps, particularly for successful males on Tinder, can create an environment that fosters psychopathic behaviors due to the emphasis on short-term sexual gratification without emotional intimacy or long-term commitment. This is a concern for society as a whole, as many people, even those who profess a desire for polyamory, still hold traditional romantic ideals. On a different note, as we age, our brains begin to shrink, affecting memory and cognitive function. A supplement called MATTER, developed in partnership with the University of Oxford, has been clinically proven to slow the age-related loss in the brain's memory centers by an average of 86%. This supplement can help improve memory and cognition, especially for those deficient in essential vitamins. Overall, it's crucial to prioritize brain health to maintain optimal cognitive function throughout our lives.

• Women's mating strategies and potential social instability: Women's selective mating strategies, driven by economic and emotional risks, lead to a small percentage of high-value men receiving the majority of sexual opportunities, potentially causing social instability. Apps like Tinder worsen this issue by enabling casual hookups and anonymous encounters, making it easier to cheat and ghost without consequences.

  Women's mating strategies, known as hypergamy, involve seeking partners who are older, successful, and competent to help mitigate the economic and emotional risks associated with sex and childbearing. This selectivity results in a small percentage of high-value men receiving the majority of sexual opportunities, leading to potential social instability. The rise of apps like Tinder, which facilitate casual hookups and polygamy, exacerbates this issue by enabling discreet and anonymous encounters, making it easier for individuals to cheat and ghost without social consequences. Ultimately, these trends challenge traditional monogamous relationships and contribute to the normalization of predatory and psychopathic conquest strategies.

• Dating apps and technology may normalize ghosting and superficial relationships: Research links 'dark triad' traits to frequent app usage and harmful dating patterns. Anonymity and ease of use may enable harmful behaviors.

  The use of dating apps and technology to facilitate romantic connections may be contributing to a culture that normalizes ghosting and superficial relationships, potentially even fostering psychopathic behaviors. People who use these apps to repeatedly discard partners without consideration for their feelings may be establishing harmful patterns of interaction. Research suggests that individuals high in the "dark triad" personality traits, such as narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism, are more likely to use these apps and accumulate more partners. However, it's important to note that negative experiences on dating apps are not limited to any particular demographic, and lower-income, less educated individuals may be more susceptible due to their circumstances. The ease of use and anonymity offered by these apps may make it simpler for some individuals to prey on others, potentially causing harm. Overall, the widespread use of dating apps during the COVID-19 pandemic has raised concerns about their long-term impact on romantic relationships and societal norms.

• Dating apps use fake profiles to manipulate user desire: Dating apps may use fake profiles to attract new users, leading to disappointment and frustration, particularly for women from lower income backgrounds, who may encounter abusive or unresponsive partners. Relaxation of monogamous norms can result in complex societal issues.

  Some dating apps use fake attractive profiles to lure new users, particularly men, creating a "chasing the dragon" effect, manipulating their desire for instant gratification. This practice, which may be widespread among apps, can lead to disappointment and frustration for both genders. Additionally, the dissolution of traditional dating norms and expectations can result in negative experiences for women, particularly those from lower income backgrounds, who may encounter abusive or unresponsive partners. The imposition of monogamous norms has historically helped control female fecundity and male aggression, but their relaxation can lead to complex societal issues. It's essential to consider the potential consequences of these trends and find ways to promote healthy, respectful relationships.

• Elite Influence on Society: Fashion, Names, and Moral Beliefs: Elites shape societal trends and beliefs through fashion, names, and moral values, often distinguishing themselves by making certain features important again.

  The ideas and values of the privileged classes have a significant impact on society as a whole, influencing trends and beliefs that permeate throughout various aspects of culture. This influence can be seen in fashion, names, and moral beliefs. Historically, the elites have championed progressive ideas, which over time become widely accepted. However, to distinguish themselves, elites may then make certain features, such as race, important again. This dynamic can be traced back to the concept of assumed moral superiority, which is a central axis of social hierarchy and is indicated by economic wealth and luxury beliefs. The motivation to broadcast certain beliefs is often driven by a desire to distinguish oneself from the masses and avoid being mistaken for someone of lower social standing.

• Socio-economic disdain and divisions in America: The disdain and contempt felt by the working class towards the affluent can be more damaging than fear, leading to growing misunderstandings and class divisions. It's essential to recognize and address these differences to promote understanding and unity.

  Social class divisions and feelings of disdain and contempt between different socio-economic groups in America are significant and should not be overlooked. The working class and lower income individuals often feel disconnected and looked down upon by the affluent, leading to growing divisions and misunderstandings. This disdain and contempt can be more damaging than fear, as it places individuals in a contemptible and rotting category. It's crucial for individuals from all walks of life to recognize and address these class divisions, as the data shows that many beliefs and opinions differ greatly between socio-economic groups. The affluent's indifference to these differences only exacerbates the issue.

• Considering the impact of beliefs on vulnerable populations: Being mindful of the potential harm caused by beliefs, especially for those with fewer resources and protections.

  While highly educated and affluent individuals may be able to hold beliefs that have no correspondence to reality without facing dire consequences, those with fewer resources and protections cannot. This is important to consider when implementing beliefs into policy or creating new norms, as it can have significant impacts on vulnerable populations. The speaker, a student at Cambridge, shared their personal experience of being introduced to the concept of campus free speech debates during their first year in university, which left a lasting impression on them. They emphasized the importance of being mindful of the potential harm caused by beliefs, especially for those who are most affected.

• University environment prioritizes safety over academic rigor: The university environment prioritizes safety and security over academic rigor, potentially due to changing priorities and desires for social status among women at the peak of their fertility.

  The university environment, particularly in the liberal arts and humanities, dominated by young women, has shifted towards prioritizing safety and security over academic rigor. This perspective stems from the speaker's experience with the mobbing of professors and their perceived maternal instincts. The speaker suggests that this shift could be due to women's changing priorities as they age and discover the costs of high-powered careers. However, it's unclear if this is the sole reason for the current state of universities. Another possible explanation is the desire for social status and the selection of luxury values that are punitively associated with compassion. Ultimately, the speaker raises thought-provoking questions about the motivations and behaviors of women at the peak of their fertility in the context of academic institutions.

• Women's roles and societal changes impacting values: The rise of progressive liberal values is influenced by women's education, social media, and demographic shifts, leading to changes in social norms and family structures

  The shift towards progressive liberal values, driven by compassion and a desire to help the downtrodden, has become more attractive to both men and women in recent times. This change may be linked to the increasing dominance of women in higher education and the impact of social media. The transformation in women's roles, particularly the availability of effective birth control, has led to significant demographic changes and the normalization of unconventional relationships. The effect of these changes on social institutions and the family unit is still uncertain and requires further exploration.

• The Birth Control Pill's Impact on Societal Norms and Men's Responsibility: The introduction of the birth control pill led to societal shifts, allowing men to avoid responsibility for their sexual encounters, but societal norms promoting sexual freedom and the emergence of sexually transmitted diseases have influenced young people to have less sex.

  The introduction of the birth control pill led to a shift in societal norms and beliefs, particularly on a local level, which allowed men to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and the potential consequences of their sexual encounters. This belief that women now had control over their reproductive function led to a tacit acceptance of men's avoidance of responsibility. The pill's introduction also led to debates about consent and the trivialization of sex, but the emergence of sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS challenged this notion. Sex, as a powerful and universal incentive, is often overlooked in societal discussions, yet statistics show that young people, particularly men, are having less sex than before, despite the availability of technology and societal norms promoting sexual freedom. This trend could be linked to the emergence of polygamy and the increasing number of spoils going to a few men, as well as the use of pornography as a substitute for real sexual experiences.

• The Impact of Digital Pornography on Modern Life and Young People: Digital pornography's accessibility leads to a culture of virtual polygamy, potential addiction, and warping of young minds, challenging societal norms around monogamy and consent.

  The easy access to digital pornography through the internet is a transformative technology that has become a pervasive part of modern life, especially among young people. Researchers find it challenging to study its effects due to the widespread exposure. This technology promotes a culture of virtual polygamy, leading to potential negative consequences such as addiction and warping of young minds. The societal norms around monogamy are being challenged, resulting in conflicting messages about sexual expression and consent. The insistence on celebrating all forms of sexual expression while also viewing it as dangerous creates a perplexing situation. People's beliefs and experiences shape their attitudes towards consent and sexual freedom. Those who have had negative experiences may be more preoccupied with the issue of consent, while those who are more open and less agreeable may be less affected by negative experiences and promote a more sexual culture. The growth in the number of female students on campus might be connected to this phenomenon, as research suggests that women's attitudes towards sexuality and intimacy differ from men's.

• Sex ratios in educational institutions impact romantic interactions and sexual satisfaction: Women in institutions with a surplus of women report feeling despondent about romantic prospects, leading to more casual hookups. In contrast, women in institutions with a surplus of men are more likely to have boyfriends and be satisfied with their romantic situations.

  The balance of sex ratios in educational institutions significantly impacts romantic interactions and sexual satisfaction among students. In environments with a surplus of women and a scarcity of men, women report feeling despondent about their romantic prospects and engaging in more casual hookups. In contrast, when there are more men than women, women are more likely to have boyfriends and be satisfied with their romantic situations. This pattern, observed across various cultures and societies, can be explained by the competition for a limited pool of potential partners. The intense competition for a small number of successful men often leads women to present themselves in sexually provocative ways online. This research sheds light on the overlooked topic of sexual dynamics in society and its potential impact on social media trends. Despite facing criticism and backlash, openly discussing these findings has led to meaningful connections and conversations with like-minded individuals.

• Political Charges in Academia: Personal Experiences of Discrimination: Academia can be politically charged, leading to career reconsideration due to misconstrued incidents and reluctance to discuss certain topics.

  Academic environments can be politically charged and intolerant, leading individuals to reconsider their careers in academia. The speaker shares their personal experiences of being disinvited from Cambridge due to a misconstrued photograph, and the dismissal of a postdoc, Noah Carl, due to student protests. These incidents occurred despite the speaker's academic success and popularity in their field. The speaker also expresses concern over the increasing political correctness and reluctance to speak out on certain topics, such as sex differences and personality. They mention feeling nervous about discussing these topics due to potential backlash from students and colleagues. The speaker plans to finish their PhD and explore opportunities outside of academia. They also note that some research suggests that egalitarian policies can magnify certain differences between genders, but the overall trend towards equality is complex and multifaceted.

• Academic pressure to conform and self-censorship: Academic community faces pressure to conform to ideologies, leading to self-censorship and a culture of silence, detrimental to academic freedom and intellectual diversity.

  The academic community, particularly researchers, are under immense pressure to conform to certain political ideologies and face harsh consequences if they express opposing views. This pressure is a result of the specialized nature of academic work, which requires intense focus and isolation, making individuals vulnerable to outside influence and intimidation. The fear of harassment, threats, and backlash from activist groups often leads faculty to self-censor and avoid expressing their opinions, creating a culture of silence. This strategy is effective for the activist groups as it silences dissenting voices and shapes the academic discourse. The issue is further compounded by the power dynamics within universities, with failed researchers and administrators wielding significant influence and using it to suppress opposing viewpoints. The consequences of this trend are detrimental to academic freedom and intellectual diversity.

• Discussing the link between disagreeableness and voicing unpopular truths: Dr. Peterson shares his experiences rebelling against rules and questioning authority, linking it to his disagreeableness and ability to challenge the status quo, emphasizing the importance of staying true to one's beliefs.

  The ability to voice unpopular truths, or take confrontational positions, may be linked to a certain level of disagreeableness. This was discussed during an interview with Dr. Peterson, who shared his own experiences with rebelling against rules and questioning authority as a child, despite being a highly conscientious adult. He also mentioned his upcoming book and plans to continue sharing his views in various capacities. The interview showcased Dr. Peterson's candor and provided insights into the complex relationship between personality traits and the ability to challenge the status quo. Overall, the discussion highlighted the importance of staying true to one's beliefs, even if it means facing adversity.