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    225. How to Find 5 Seconds of Peace with Morgan Harper Nichols

    enJuly 06, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Simplifying solutions for parents and individualsPampers offers gentle protective care for babies with their Swaddlers diaper and free wipes, while 3rd love addresses size exclusivity and uncertainty in bra shopping with half cup sizes, virtual fitting room, and educational resources.

      Both Pampers and 3rd love prioritize providing solutions to common problems for parents and individuals respectively. Pampers ensures gentle protective care for babies with their Swaddlers diaper and free and gentle wipes, while 3rd love addresses size exclusivity and uncertainty in bra shopping with their half cup sizes, virtual fitting room, and educational resources. Morgan Harper Nichols, a guest on the podcast, shares her art as a means to communicate experiences beyond words. She emphasizes that words are just tools to point towards deeper emotions and feelings. Pampers and 3rd love offer direct solutions to practical concerns, allowing consumers to focus on the essence of their needs. Whether it's keeping a baby's skin healthy or finding a comfortable, well-fitting bra, these brands simplify the process.

    • Growing up as an outsider and the power of wordsDespite past humiliations, embracing creativity and sharing words can have a positive impact, but vulnerability and consent are essential.

      The speaker grew up feeling like an outsider due to her inability to come up with quick comebacks or engage in banter, which was the currency of her teenage years. She found solace in poetry but had a humiliating experience when her poetry was shared without her consent at summer camp. This incident made her wary of sharing her words with others, but she has since learned to embrace her creativity and put herself out there, recognizing the power and potential impact of her words. The speaker also reflects on the vulnerability of language and how her experiences as a black woman have shaped her relationship with words and communication.

    • Discovering the Power of Nonverbal CommunicationEmbrace various ways of expressing yourself and connecting with others beyond words. Nonverbal communication like movements, actions, and expressions can convey meaning and lead to deeper connections.

      Communication is more than just words on a page or spoken language. It's about embracing various ways of expressing ourselves and connecting with others. The speaker discovered this when she realized that there were other languages and methods of communication used not long ago. Initially, she felt safe in sticking to a traditional way of communicating through writing. But as she explored further, she recognized the importance of owning her unique communication style and not conforming to others' expectations. The speaker was also inspired by the idea that movements and actions can convey meaning beyond words. This concept was reinforced when she worked on a TV show and learned that dialogue is less important than the physical expressions of characters. She held onto this idea for a long time and finally shared it during a family gathering by asking everyone to create their own "Mona dance" instead of giving a traditional toast. The experience was a reminder that words are just one way to connect and that embracing embodied experiences can lead to deeper and more meaningful connections.

    • The importance of nonverbal communication and authentic expression in effective communicationEffective communication involves more than just spoken words. Nonverbal cues and authentic expression are crucial for connecting with others. Therapy provides a safe space to share deeply. Vulnerability doesn't always mean baring all, and art can be a form of authentic expression.

      Effective communication goes beyond just the words we speak. While language is important, nonverbal cues and authentic expression are equally significant in truly connecting with others. The danger lies in valuing speech too highly, as people can say whatever they want, even if it's not the truth. Therapy provides a safe space to share deep thoughts and feelings with someone who truly understands, making it crucial to find the right therapist. Moreover, vulnerability is not always about being completely bare with others. Sometimes, our past experiences and unique perspectives may require a different approach to sharing our truth. The art of communication is complex and multifaceted, and it's essential to honor that complexity in our interactions with others. In the realm of art, vulnerability is not always about laying it all out for the world to see. Sometimes, the most authentic expression comes from the process of creating, even if it starts as a form of armor. Ultimately, it's about being true to ourselves and our experiences, no matter how chaotic or expansive they may be.

    • Setting boundaries for peace, both online and offlinePrioritize self-care and understand that not every question requires an answer. Practice finding calm in chaos and recognize the value of your energy and vulnerability.

      Creating and maintaining peace, especially online, requires setting boundaries and prioritizing energy. The speaker shares her experience of dealing with skepticism and criticism regarding her autism diagnosis and learned the importance of not engaging with every question or concern. She emphasizes that it's essential to breathe deeply and focus on the next moment, a practice she has honed out of necessity. Peace, for her, is a continuous practice of finding calm in the midst of chaos and recognizing that her energy and vulnerability are valuable resources. She encourages prioritizing self-care and understanding that not every question requires an answer.

    • Recognizing and responding to body's needs for self-careSmall moments of relaxation and self-care can reduce anxiety and stress, promoting health and happiness. Listen to your body's signals and respond with deep breaths, ice cubes, or other simple practices.

      Allowing ourselves small moments of relaxation and self-care, even in the midst of everyday stressors, can make a significant difference in our overall well-being. The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing and responding to our bodies' needs, even if it seems as simple as taking a deep breath or getting an ice cube. She also encourages us to consider the impact of our choices, such as the food we give our pets, and make decisions that promote health and happiness. By focusing on these small moments and practices, we can help reduce anxiety and stress, and create a foundation for greater peace and wellness in our lives.

    • Finding peace through self-acceptance and listening to our bodiesPrioritize self-care through acknowledging needs, accepting ourselves, and finding peace in everyday moments.

      Finding peace and self-acceptance involves listening to our bodies and responding to our needs, even if it's inconvenient. This can be as simple as taking a deep breath or as significant as changing our plans for the day. The concept of peace can also be connected to nature, where it's a constant flow that adapts to its surroundings. We can find peace in the smallest moments and keep seeking it out in various ways. The Farmers Dog provides fresh, healthy food tailored to individual dogs, just like how we prepare meals for our families with care. Similarly, taking care of ourselves involves acknowledging and addressing our needs. This might mean taking a break when we need it, accepting ourselves as we are, or finding peace in nature. By prioritizing our well-being, we can live more fulfilling lives. In the conversation, we explored the idea of peace as a river, a constant flow that adapts to its surroundings. This perspective encourages us to look for peace in the everyday moments and to accept the ebb and flow of life. By practicing self-acceptance and listening to our bodies, we can find peace even in the most mundane moments. So, take a moment to reflect on your own needs and how you can prioritize self-care. Whether it's through a healthy meal, a deep breath, or a peaceful walk in nature, remember that peace is a journey, not a destination.

    • Finding beauty and meaning in simple thingsAppreciate the world around us with presence and acceptance, without seeking external validation.

      We can find beauty and meaning in the simplest things around us, without comparing ourselves or seeking validation from others. The flowers in the wilderness bloom for themselves, not for anyone else's approval, and we too can appreciate the world around us with presence and acceptance. The speaker's discovery of the beauty in seemingly mundane things like sticks is a reminder that we don't always need external validation or recognition to find joy and meaning in our experiences. By being present to the world around us, we can find unique and meaningful connections that may not be noticed by others. The speaker's artwork, which includes traces of sticks, is a testament to this idea, as the hidden meaning behind each piece is known only to the artist. Ultimately, the beauty and meaning we find in the world is not determined by external factors, but by our own presence and appreciation.

    • Appreciating the small moments for personal growthTeaching children to find joy in the ordinary fosters deeper appreciation for life and creates meaningful memories. Focusing on small things can lead to personal growth and happiness.

      Finding joy and meaning in the seemingly insignificant moments of life is essential for personal growth and happiness. The pursuit of peace comes from noticing and appreciating what's already present, rather than constantly striving for something more. The speaker emphasizes the importance of teaching children to find beauty in the ordinary, as it helps them develop a deeper appreciation for life and fosters a more compassionate worldview. By focusing on the small things and cherishing them, we create meaningful memories and connections that can last a lifetime.

    • Finding peace and presence in the detailsPaying attention to small details and being present can make a significant difference in various aspects of life. Everyone has unique ways of nurturing peace and presence, and it's essential to recognize and appreciate the value of each person's contributions.

      Paying attention to the small details and being present in the moment, no matter the task, can make a significant difference. This can apply to various aspects of life, from organizing meals to sending emails or even collecting sticks. It's essential to recognize that everyone has unique ways of nurturing peace and presence, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach. Some people may find joy in the smallest things, while others may struggle with certain tasks but excel in others. The key is to be mindful of our own abilities and limitations and to appreciate the value of each person's contributions. By focusing on the details and being present, we can create a more meaningful and connected experience for ourselves and those around us.

    • Finding Comfort and ConnectionEmbrace the diversity of human experiences and find meaning in everyday moments, focusing on what energizes and excites us, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. Human connection is important and not everyone may connect with nature in the same way, so notice and appreciate the things we're already doing that bring us joy.

      Everyone has unique ways of finding comfort and connection, whether it's through smells, touch, or helping others. The speaker shares her frustration with feeling pressured to find a specific purpose, but encourages focusing on what energizes and excites us, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. The importance of human connection was emphasized, as not everyone may have the ability to connect with nature in the same way. The speaker also highlights the importance of noticing and appreciating the things we're already doing that bring us joy. A surprising example given was the connection between the speaker and her sister, as they both found meaning in their own ways - the sister through coaching basketball and the speaker through appreciating the simple things in life. Ultimately, the speaker encourages embracing the diversity of human experiences and finding meaning in the everyday moments.

    • Learning to Embrace AccommodationsEmbracing accommodations for personal needs is essential for practicing courage and living authentically. Adjustments can help reduce stress and improve overall well-being.

      Embracing accommodations and acknowledging one's needs, rather than trying to suppress them, is a crucial aspect of practicing courage and living authentically. This was a lesson the speaker learned during her awkward experiences at summer camp, and she continues to apply it in her life today, even in the context of sharing her work online. Her later diagnosis of autism led her to a new understanding of the importance of accommodating her needs, and she began making changes to reduce stress and make her life more manageable. The word "accommodation" is key here, as it emphasizes the importance of making adjustments to support one's own well-being, rather than trying to assimilate to external expectations.

    • Embracing Our Own Needs and Nonlinear ProgressSuccess is not just about pleasing others or meeting societal expectations. It's important to trust ourselves, ask questions, and prioritize our own needs for a fulfilling life journey.

      Success is not only about conforming to the world's expectations but also about accommodating our own needs. The speaker shares her realization that she doesn't always have to please others or do things that don't serve her, even if it means saying no or doing less. This concept applies to all aspects of life, including relationships and work. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of trusting oneself and asking questions to determine what is reasonable and what is not. She encourages exploring the idea of a nonlinear life story, where progress is not always a perfect circle, but rather a journey with ups and downs, twists and turns. The hero's journey, a popular narrative structure, often emphasizes the climax and overlooks the challenges and growth that come before and after it. Embracing this perspective can help us appreciate the journey as much as the destination.

    • The power of being present and expressing emotions through actionsExpressing emotions through actions can convey deeper truths than words and it's essential to remember that emotions are complex and deserve to be acknowledged in their own way.

      Communication between people, especially during the teenage years, doesn't always have to be through words. Sometimes, being present and expressing emotions through actions can be just as meaningful. Morgan Harper Nichols shared her experience of how being quiet and present next to someone can convey deeper truths than words ever could. She emphasized that in a culture that values clear and concise communication, it's essential to remember that emotions and connections can be expressed in various ways. The teenage years can be seen as a threshold where we are encouraged to put emotions into words, but it's important to remember that emotions are big and complex, and they deserve to be acknowledged and expressed in their own way. Morgan's unique perspective on communication and the importance of being present with each other is a powerful reminder that we should all strive to be more understanding and compassionate towards each other, regardless of age.

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