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    257. How to Finally Forgive with Nadia Bolz-Weber

    enNovember 09, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Addressing common problems in industries with innovative solutions3rd love tackles uncomfortable bra fitting with half cup sizes and virtual fitting room tech, while Pampers delivers gentle, leak-proof diaper and plant-based wipe protection

      Both 3rd love and Pampers offer solutions to common problems in their respective industries. 3rd love addresses the issue of finding a comfortable and properly fitting bra by offering half cup sizes and virtual fitting room technology. Pampers addresses the need for gentle and effective diaper and wipe products, providing leak-proof protection and plant-based wipes. During the podcast, the hosts shared personal experiences and praised the companies for their innovations. 3rd love's Nadia Bolz Weber was also featured, discussing her work as a pastor and author, and her advocacy for challenging traditional gender roles in religion. Overall, the podcast highlighted the importance of addressing common problems and providing effective solutions for consumers.

    • A Mother's Struggle with Personal Convictions and Societal NormsFinding joy in simple pleasures, living authentically, and the power of grace and kind words during difficult times are essential for navigating challenges that test our beliefs and values.

      Sometimes, personal convictions and societal norms can clash, leading to difficult decisions. A mother, Nadia Bolz-Weber, shares her experience of being asked to leave her children's school after her son questioned the use of the term "he" when referring to God in class. This incident, among other challenges, led her to reevaluate her priorities and find joy in simpler things, such as sacred harp singing. Throughout their conversation, Nadia and her friend discuss the importance of grace and the impact of kind words during challenging times. Nadia shares how a friend's words of encouragement helped her realize that she had already accomplished a great deal and didn't need to continue proving herself through her work. This conversation highlights the importance of living authentically, finding joy in simple pleasures, and the power of grace and kind words during difficult times. It also underscores the idea that sometimes, it's essential to step back and reassess priorities, especially when faced with challenges that test our beliefs and values.

    • The pain of past relationships can shape our perception of self-worth and ability to loveReflecting on past painful relationships can help us learn to value ourselves independently and cherish current connections without needing them for validation or security.

      Our past experiences, including painful relationships, can shape our perception of our worthiness and ability to love. The speaker shares how a past relationship left her feeling destroyed and unworthy when he left her for someone else. However, upon reflection, she realized that her suffering was more about her own attachment to the relationship and her belief that her worth was tied to it. This realization allowed her to forgive him and learn to value herself independently. Now, in her current relationship, she cherishes the connection without needing it for security or validation. The journey towards self-worth and love is not easy, but the pain and experiences from the past can serve as valuable lessons.

    • Exploring self-awareness and identity around age 10Embrace the challenging journey of self-exploration and invest in things that bring happiness, like Vuori's comfortable and versatile clothing, offering 20% off first purchase and free US shipping over $75, as well as free returns.

      Growing up involves a significant shift in self-awareness and identity, often marked around the age of 10. This period can be marked by a sense of becoming an object of observation, leading to a dissonance between one's inner self and physical body. This process of self-exploration and self-discovery can be challenging and painful, but ultimately leads to a deeper understanding and recovery of one's original self. Women tend to experience this journey more profoundly than men, who may not have the same depth of intimate friendships to accompany them through this process. Despite the challenges, it's important to embrace the journey and invest in things that bring happiness, such as comfortable and versatile clothing from Vuori. The speaker, Abby, strongly endorses Vuori and shares that they offer 20% off your first purchase and free shipping on US orders over $75, as well as free returns at viore.com/hardthings.

    • Discovering new aspects of ourselves during changeThrough self-awareness and supportive relationships, we can adapt to change and discover new aspects of ourselves.

      Our ego can make us feel accustomed to certain ways of living and treating ourselves, but when those things are taken away, we may discover new aspects of ourselves. The speaker shares her experience of touring extensively in 2019 and feeling lost and unprepared when the pandemic forced her to stay at home. She realized that she had not yet met the version of herself who could adapt to this new situation. The speaker also mentions the importance of having supportive relationships where we can be honest about our thoughts and feelings, which helps us metabolize them and maintain self-esteem. Overall, the discussion highlights the importance of self-awareness and the role of relationships in navigating changes and challenges in life.

    • Embracing our whole selves, including imperfectionsRecognize and balance ego to avoid negative consequences. Accept whole selves, build self-esteem, and be authentic with others. Avoid toxic subcultures promoting self-sanctification and inability to acknowledge flaws.

      Ego is a natural part of us, but it's essential to recognize and balance it to avoid negative consequences. The speaker shares her experiences with ego in various aspects of life, including spirituality and relationships. She emphasizes that it's important to acknowledge the "shitty parts" of ourselves instead of trying to hide or transcend them. By accepting our whole selves, we can build a strong foundation of self-esteem and be authentic with others. The speaker also highlights the dangers of toxic subcultures that promote the idea of self-sanctification and the inability to acknowledge our flaws. In essence, embracing our entire being, including the imperfections, is the key to maintaining a healthy balance of ego and self-love.

    • Finding peace through authentic connections and unexpected inspirationThe artist finds peace by focusing on her unique calling, connecting with genuine communities, and finding inspiration in unexpected places, such as women's prisons. She values humility, genuine friendships, and gentle care for new life.

      The artist has found peace in focusing on her unique calling and connecting with authentic communities, rather than seeking constant validation and adoration from the world. She finds inspiration in unexpected places, such as women's prisons, where she appreciates the raw humanity and resilience of those she encounters. The artist also reflects on the importance of humility and recognizing that we are not enough, rather than being bombarded with messages of self-sufficiency and positivity. She values genuine friendships and community, and cherishes the delicate nature of new life, emphasizing the importance of gentle care for babies through the use of Pampers diapers and wipes.

    • Divine connection and communityThrough prayer or meditation, we can access divine love, compassion, and grace. Community provides support and healing when we're unable to provide it for ourselves.

      Despite the vastness and complexity of the universe, we as humans are not alone. We come from a divine source and have access to its love, compassion, and grace through prayer or meditation. While we may feel inadequate or unable to provide these things for ourselves, they are available to us through this divine connection. Additionally, community plays a crucial role in our lives, providing support and healing when we are unable to provide it for ourselves. We are all interconnected and reliant on each other, making community an essential aspect of our spiritual and emotional growth.

    • The Power of Community: Personal and Financial GrowthCommunity, whether digital or in-person, plays a crucial role in personal and financial growth. Rocket Money helps manage unwanted subscriptions, while 12-step programs offer forgiveness and self-reflection.

      We are interconnected beings who require help, love, and forgiveness from each other, just as we give it. Anne Lamott, in her wisdom, emphasizes the importance of community and the power it holds. However, in our modern world, community often comes in the form of digital subscriptions. While these can be beneficial, they can also lead to unwanted expenses. Rocket Money, a personal finance app, aims to help individuals manage and cancel these unwanted subscriptions, saving them money and reducing financial stress. Another crucial aspect of community is the need for forgiveness and self-reflection. The 12-step program, as mentioned, encourages individuals to examine their own role in past hurts and to work through their resentments. This process, while challenging, is essential for personal growth and freedom. In summary, the power of community is evident in both our personal and financial lives. Whether it's through the help of a personal finance app like Rocket Money or the support of a 12-step program, acknowledging our interconnectedness and working through our challenges together can lead to significant growth and improvement.

    • Telling stories differently for personal freedomAcknowledging one's role in past situations, promoting accountability and humanity through restorative justice, and forgiving oneself are key steps towards personal growth and freedom.

      Telling stories differently, even with the same set of facts, can lead to personal freedom. This doesn't mean blaming the victim, but acknowledging one's own role in past situations. Restorative justice, which involves victims and perpetrators sharing their stories, is an effective way to promote accountability and humanity. It's important to look beyond blame and focus on understanding the humanity of all involved. The speaker shares her personal experience of admitting her role in a past situation and how it led to a significant reduction in resentment. She also discusses her recent journey into therapy to confront her dark side and the unexpected realization of how her past actions contributed to her own heartbreaks. Ultimately, forgiving oneself is a crucial step towards personal growth and freedom.

    • Embracing Ordinary Humanity and BelongingNadia encouraged Abby and all those who have felt excluded to embrace their humanity and remember that they belong, despite imagined barriers created by fear and anxiety.

      Everyone belongs, regardless of their experiences or backgrounds. Nadia offered a heartfelt blessing to Abby, acknowledging the struggles she faced due to not feeling accepted in certain communities. Nadia emphasized that the real abomination is the fear and anxiety that creates imagined barriers to belonging. She encouraged Abby, and all those who have felt excluded, to embrace their ordinary humanity and remember that they belong. The conversation touched on themes of acceptance, love, and the importance of finding community. Nadia's words were healing and affirming, reminding us all that we are valued and belong, no matter what.

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