Podcast Summary
Effective Communication and Active Listening in Negotiations: Practice mirroring and active listening to build rapport, understand the other party's perspective, and improve negotiation skills.
Learning from this episode of the BiggerPockets podcast is the importance of effective communication and active listening in negotiations, as demonstrated by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of "Never Split the Difference." Voss emphasizes the significance of understanding the other party's perspective and making them feel heard. He shares practical techniques, such as mirroring, to encourage open communication and build rapport. This episode offers valuable insights and actionable tips for improving negotiation skills in various aspects of life, whether in business or real estate investing. Listeners are encouraged to practice mirroring in three conversations and to check out Voss's book for further information. Overall, this episode underscores the power of effective communication and active listening in achieving successful negotiations.
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There are alternative ways to invest in real estate with little to no money down. Rent to Retirement offers brand new construction turnkey rental properties at discounted prices with investor loans having low rates and sometimes no down payment. Alternatively, Connect Invest is an online platform allowing passive real estate investing with a minimum investment of $500. Both options provide passive income without the hassle of ownership or management. Negotiation skills are essential in real estate and other businesses, and with practice, one can improve their negotiation abilities, leading to better results in various aspects of life. Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, emphasizes the importance of negotiation and shares his insights in his book "Never Split the Difference." Practicing negotiation skills in everyday life can lead to significant improvements when dealing with high-stakes situations.
From cop to FBI hostage negotiator: Starting as a cop, the speaker's injury led him to hostage negotiation, gaining experience and eventually becoming a full-time negotiator with a background in terrorism response.
Becoming an FBI lead hostage negotiator involves a lot of preparation, travel, and experience in crisis response. The speaker, who started as a cop and was inspired by the possibility of traveling the world, eventually became an FBI hostage negotiator after an injury forced him to give up SWAT duties. Hostage negotiation was an additional duty at first, but he quickly gained experience and was eventually promoted to a full-time position. The speaker's unique background in terrorism response also led him to run the international kidnapping response team. One fascinating experience he shared was negotiating a bank robbery in New York City, which was a rare occurrence in real life. The speaker also credited his co-writer, Tal Raz, for making their book on negotiation techniques engaging and easy to read.
Recognizing hidden power in negotiations: Be aware of individuals who use plural pronouns or appear powerless, as they might hold significant influence. Use mirroring and encourage them to share information to gain a competitive edge.
In negotiation, it's important to be aware of individuals who may appear powerless or hesitant, as they might actually hold significant influence. This was exemplified in a bank robbery situation where the ringleader deliberately used plural pronouns to avoid revealing his true position of power. By mirroring his language and encouraging him to "vomit" information, the negotiator was able to extract crucial details about the getaway car and ultimately apprehend the entire gang. This tactic can be applied in various business negotiations, where individuals may deliberately hide their decision-making power to buy time or maintain control. It's essential to recognize these behaviors and remain persistent in extracting information to gain a competitive edge.
Effective communication and empathy in negotiations: Build rapport, actively listen, and empathize to encourage open communication and sharing of crucial information in negotiations.
Effective communication and empathy are key components in successful negotiations, whether in a hostage situation or in business. The speaker shared an experience where he used his hostage negotiation skills to successfully resolve a business dispute. He emphasized the importance of building rapport, actively listening, and empathizing with the other party to encourage open communication and the sharing of crucial information. The speaker also highlighted the contrast between business negotiations and hostage negotiations, noting that while business negotiations may be contentious, hostage negotiations are typically calmer due to the advanced listening and empathy skills used by negotiators in such situations. The speaker's success in applying these skills in a business context led him to teach negotiation strategies in an MBA program.
Rethinking Negotiation as a Collaborative Process: Overcome fear of negotiation by focusing on building rapport and finding mutually beneficial solutions
Negotiation is a universal skill necessary for various aspects of life and business, including real estate. Many people, like the speaker, may have an aversion to negotiating due to fear or discomfort. However, rethinking negotiation as a collaborative process rather than a win-lose situation can help overcome this fear. The first step to mastering daily negotiation is to get over the aversion. By focusing on building rapport and finding mutually beneficial solutions, negotiation can be an enjoyable and productive experience. The speaker's book is filled with real-life examples of people who have successfully applied these negotiation skills in their personal and professional lives.
Empower the other side to feel in control: Successful negotiation is about creating a win-win situation by actively listening, making the other party feel heard and appreciated, and giving them the illusion of control.
Successful negotiation is not about making the other party unhappy, but rather creating a situation where everyone wins. This can be achieved by actively listening to the other side, making them feel heard and appreciated, and giving them the illusion of control. By doing so, you can accelerate the negotiation process, avoid compromises, and even uncover valuable concessions. Remember, the key to gaining the upper hand in negotiation is not by pushing your agenda, but by empowering the other side to feel in control and implement the deal. So, instead of focusing on getting your way, focus on understanding their perspective and making them feel valued. This approach not only leads to better outcomes but also fosters stronger relationships.
Asking open-ended questions to reveal bottom line: Effective negotiation involves asking open-ended questions to understand the other party's perspective and reveal their bottom line, while maintaining rapport and trust.
Effective negotiation involves pushing the other party to reveal their bottom line without making them feel disrespected or angry. This can be achieved by asking open-ended questions that make them feel in control of the situation, such as "How am I supposed to do that?" or "Is that what you're saying?". Using a deferential tone and acknowledging their power in the negotiation can also help build rapport and trust. It's important to remember that people often don't make deals until they feel they've gotten the best possible deal, so it's crucial to understand their perspective and work to find a mutually beneficial solution. Additionally, negotiators should be aware of the importance of the "feeling of the deal" and aim to create a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment for both parties to increase the likelihood of a successful outcome.
Understanding the emotional aspects of real estate negotiations: Effective negotiation in real estate involves more than just agreeing to terms on paper. It requires empathy, understanding of external factors, and strategic tactics to ensure a deal doesn't fall through. Be aware of anchoring tactics and use the Ackerman system to reset negotiations.
Effective negotiation in real estate involves more than just agreeing to terms on paper. It requires empathy, understanding of external factors, and strategic tactics to ensure a deal doesn't fall through. The Ackerman system, for instance, is a systematic approach to bargaining that helps counteract anchoring and reset negotiations. Anchoring refers to offering or asking for a price that is outside the expected range, which can lead to unwanted outcomes. By being aware of these tactics and understanding the emotional aspects of real estate transactions, negotiators can increase their chances of success. Remember, a deal isn't truly closed until the papers are signed and the keys are exchanged.
Testing Your Reaction to High Anchors: During negotiations, high anchors can be a test. Respond with emotional intelligence and make decreasing counteroffers with odd-numbered pricing for a psychological advantage. Let the other side feel in control and don't reveal your opening price.
During negotiations, a high anchor offer can be a test from the other party to gauge your reaction and resilience. Mark Cuban, for instance, uses this tactic in Shark Tank to evaluate potential business partners. The key is to respond with emotional intelligence and not get defensive or angry. When making counteroffers, it's essential to make decreasing increments and use odd-numbered pricing for a psychological advantage. Negotiations typically go through multiple rounds, and it's crucial to let the other side feel like they've made progress and are in control. Top negotiators do not reveal their opening price, as they value the information they can gain from the other party's assessment. Practicing how to handle high anchors and unexpected offers is crucial for successful negotiations.
Using labels to bypass analysts' guards: Analysts respond to labels, bypassing defenses, enabling deeper negotiations and mutual understanding.
During negotiations, the use of labels can be a powerful tool to bypass the guarded responses of an analyst type personality. Labels, such as "seems like," trigger contemplation without raising defenses. Analysts are vulnerable to answering labels, as they bypass the analytical part of the brain and tap into the emotional. However, if you find yourself on the receiving end of these tactics, it's essential to recognize that you hold the power in the negotiation. Don't let the labels put you at a disadvantage. Instead, understand that your weaknesses can be your strengths. Be open to sharing information, but remember that price is not the only term. Use emotional intelligence to shift the conversation away from questions, which can raise guards, and towards labels, which can trigger unguarded responses. By doing so, you'll be better equipped to navigate negotiations and reach a mutually beneficial outcome.
The importance of saying 'no': Saying 'no' can reduce anxiety, protect resources, and maintain control. Partner with a reputable investment firm for informed decisions and passive income opportunities.
The power of saying "no" can be just as important as getting a "yes" in various aspects of life, including business and personal relationships. Contrary to the popular belief that getting others to say "yes" is the key to success, saying "no" can help reduce anxiety, protect your time and resources, and maintain control in situations. Additionally, partnering with a reputable real estate investment firm like BAM Capital or Pine Financial Group can help investors make informed decisions and achieve their financial goals through passive income opportunities and strategic investments. By understanding the power of "no" and leveraging the resources and expertise of trusted investment firms, individuals can make confident decisions and build wealth.
Power of 'No' and 'That's Right' in Negotiations and Relationships: Effectively using 'no' and 'that's right' in negotiations and relationships can save time, build trust, and lead to successful outcomes. Understand emotions and motivations behind the words and respond with empathy and active listening.
The words "no" and "that's right" hold significant power in negotiations and relationships. Hearing "no" can lead to protection and the unveiling of important information, while acknowledging "that's right" can create immediate rapport and establish a more persuadable moment. These concepts, when applied effectively, can save time, build trust, and ultimately lead to successful outcomes. It's essential to understand the underlying emotions and motivations behind the words and respond with empathy and active listening to truly connect with the other party.
Build a connection through active listening and empathy: Effective negotiation involves more than just getting the best deal. Mirror words and emotions to build a bond, leading to better outcomes and stronger deals.
Effective negotiation involves more than just getting the best deal. It's about building a connection with the other party through active listening and empathy. By mirroring their words and emotions, you can create a bond that makes them feel understood and appreciated. This not only makes the negotiation process more enjoyable for both parties but also leads to better outcomes. The goal is to continue this process until the other party feels that you truly understand their perspective, leading to an epiphany moment and a stronger deal. The learning curve may seem steep at first, but the rewards are significant. Start with a "mirroring day" to practice this technique and watch how people respond positively to your interactions. Remember, the best negotiators are those who make the other side feel valued and heard.
Mirroring critical words for effective communication: Focus on the critical words in the last part of a sentence to build rapport, deepen understanding, and make conversations more productive. Only 90 seconds of 'solid gold' are worth mirroring in each conversation.
Effective communication in conversations involves mirroring the critical words spoken by the other person. This technique, known as "mirroring," can help build rapport, deepen understanding, and make the conversation more productive. According to Greg Williams, the author of "Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)," the critical words are not necessarily the last three words, but the ones that carry the most meaning in the last part of a sentence. By focusing on these words, you can respond with accuracy and empathy, leading to better connections and outcomes. Additionally, renowned baseball executive Ned Colletti emphasizes that in every conversation, there are only 90 seconds of "solid gold" worth mirroring. Overall, practicing mirroring can help you become a more effective communicator and build stronger relationships.
People's experiences shape their decisions in real estate transactions: Understanding human psychology and communication can lead to successful real estate negotiations. Recognizing personal biases and experiences, and adapting communication strategies accordingly, can help create a positive outcome for all parties involved.
People's experiences and perspectives can greatly influence their decisions, even when it comes to something as significant as selling a property. The speaker in this conversation had a negative experience with real estate agents in the past, leading him to consider selling the property himself to save on commission fees. However, he eventually decided to work with a professional after recognizing the value of expertise and ease of process. Additionally, the speaker's use of persuasive language, such as "you're not gonna like this" and "it's gonna be lower than you expected," was an intentional tactic to elicit a negative reaction and make his own offer seem more appealing in comparison. This demonstrates the importance of understanding human psychology and communication in negotiations. Furthermore, the conversation touched on the concept of human wiring and the negativity bias, which can influence our perception of offers and potential outcomes. By framing a lower offer as worse than it actually is, the speaker was able to create a sense of relief and potential satisfaction when the actual offer was revealed. Overall, this conversation highlights the importance of effective communication, recognizing one's own biases, and considering the unique experiences and motivations of others.
Effective negotiations require emotional connection: Understand others' perspectives, respond respectfully, build rapport and trust for better deals
Effective communication and negotiation in business involves more than just numbers. The way information is presented and the emotional connection made with the other party can significantly impact the outcome. During a negotiation, it's important to understand the other person's perspective and respond in a way that respects and appreciates their position. By doing so, you can build rapport and trust, which can lead to a better deal for both parties. Additionally, the use of body language and tone of voice can convey emotions and intentions that words alone may not be able to express. Overall, successful negotiations require a balance of both missionary (empathetic) and mercenary (results-driven) approaches.
Always be gathering information, always be qualifying: Effectively negotiate by actively listening and gathering info without revealing too much, build rapport, shorten distance, potentially turn unqualified prospects into qualified ones, and be aware of 'proof of life' calls.
Effective negotiation involves actively listening and gathering information without revealing too much about yourself. This approach, known as "always be gathering information, always be qualifying," can help build rapport, shorten the distance between parties, and potentially turn unqualified prospects into qualified ones. Additionally, it's important to be aware of the possibility of "proof of life" calls, where individuals may be pumping you for information without any intention of making a deal. By focusing on information gathering and qualification, a close will naturally come. A resource recommended for further learning on negotiation and communication is Eric Barker's blog, which provides valuable insights across various fields. While the guest mentioned a preference for the author's book and blog, it's worth noting that there are numerous other resources available for real estate investors looking to improve their negotiation skills.
Mindset of Success: Embracing Challenges and Learning from Setbacks: Successful individuals view failures and mistakes as opportunities for growth, embracing challenges and uncertainty to achieve their goals.
Successful individuals, whether in real estate or other fields, possess an optimistic and resilient mindset. This mindset allows them to view failures and mistakes as opportunities for growth rather than reasons to give up. A book that encapsulates this concept is "The Rise of Superman" by Steven Kotler, which explores the psychology of flow and the benefits of embracing challenges and uncertainty. Another book, "U2 by U2," provides insights into the dynamics of a successful team, emphasizing the importance of trust and diversity in achieving long-term success. Ultimately, a willingness to take risks and learn from setbacks is crucial for anyone striving to achieve their goals.
Embrace calculated risks and learn from failures: Former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss encourages taking risks, adopting a growth mindset, and not fearing mistakes for new opportunities.
Fear of making mistakes can prevent us from discovering new opportunities. Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, emphasized the importance of taking calculated risks and learning from failures. He encouraged listeners to approach challenges with a growth mindset and not be afraid of making mistakes. Voss also recommended reading his book and subscribing to his newsletter, The Edge, for further insights and training. The newsletter is free and can be easily subscribed to by texting "FBI empathy" to 22828. Amazon was suggested as the best place to buy his book due to its consistent pricing and numerous positive reviews. Overall, Voss's insights on negotiation and communication skills can be valuable for anyone looking to improve their personal and professional relationships.
Find investor-friendly agents on BiggerPockets.com/deals: Using BiggerPockets.com/deals can help connect you with agents who have a track record of successful real estate investments and may be able to help you achieve financial freedom.
Using BiggerPockets.com/deals to find an investor-friendly agent can help you get closer to financial freedom through real estate investing. However, it's important to remember that past performance is not a guarantee of future results, and all opinions expressed are those of the individuals involved. Investing in real estate, like any other asset, involves risk, so it's crucial to use your best judgment and consult with qualified advisors before making any investment decisions. Only risk capital that you can afford to lose, and keep in mind that BiggerPockets LLC disclaims any liability for damages arising from the information presented in this podcast.
