4. How to Prevent Your Dog from Growling at Your Kids

Welcome to Parenting Kids and Dogs 101, a limited series podcast for parents who live with kids and dogs, or plan to. Don't forget to grab the accompanying workbook at https://poochparenting.net/podcastworkbook/

When is the right time to get a puppy?

• Make an honest assessment of your schedule and life. Here are some questions you should consider.
• It's often difficult to raise a puppy alongside a baby or toddler. This is not an ideal time to get a puppy for some families, especially if you are uncomfortable with extra chaos and unpredictability.
• If you are considering adding a puppy to your family, I'd encourage you to wait until your children are at least 5 or 6 years old. They are able to follow your guidance at this age and can have safe, positive interactions with a dog with your support and with lots of management.

Should you get a puppy or an adult dog?

• Are you tolerant of sleep interruptions? If not, consider an adult dog who has the physical maturity to hold their bladder overnight and the emotional maturity to sleep through the night after they get used to their new home.
• Have you had a traumatic incident with a former dog that has left you feeling nervous about what your new dog will be like? If so, it might be helpful to foster-to-adopt a young adult dog (age 2 or older) so you can see what that dog is like.
• At social maturity, you will have a better idea of who the dog IS and who they WILL BE. After this developmental benchmark (potential traumatic events aside), you may be more likely to know if your dog is social with other dogs, if they like kids, if they are friendly when visitors come to the house, or if they are shy and nervous around normal household activities.
• If you really want a puppy... 
  • Is it possible to meet the parents so that you can see what the pups' temperament and size might be like?
  • Have you met the breeder in person and seen their other dogs? Do you like them? Do they like your kids? Has the breeder done health testing to ensure that your dog is less likely to have skeletal, heart, breathing or eye issues? 
  • If your potential pup is from a rescue, do they have any background information on the parents? Are they willing to take the dog back if it's unsafe around your kids in the future?
  • Are you willing to use management equipment in your home (even if it doesn't go with your home decor) and invest in training to prevent problems between your kids and puppies?

For more information and the rest of the show notes, please visit https://poochparenting.net/episode-15-when-is-the-right-time-to-get-a-puppy/

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

If you have questions about your kids and dogs or would like to book an appointment, participate in a group coaching program or take an online class, visit my website: www.poochparenting.net

Overview - How to Choose a Dog 

• Focus on the individual dog more than a specific breed
• Pick a friendly, confident dog who approaches your kids happily. 
• Listen to my Pooch Parenting Podcast episode about how to pick a shelter dog for families with kids.
• See if you can foster-to-adopt or do a trial adoption. This option allows you to live with a dog for a few weeks to see if you are a good fit.
• Be aware that some shelters and rescue organizations do not adopt to families with children of any age. Some adopt to families with kids within a certain age range. 

How to Choose a Dog that's a Good Fit For Your Family

• Know what you can afford. Here are some of the costs associated with having a dog: 
  • the adoption or purchase price
  • veterinary care
  • quality food, treats, chews and toys
  • grooming costs (some breeds need to be groomed every 4-6 weeks)
• Be honest about your lifestyle. Are you active, preferring to go hiking or backpacking? Or are you more of a game night family, preferring to stay home and play board games? Your companion dog should match the lifestyle you currently live (not the lifestyle you wish you had!)
• Is your family calm or bustling, with a constant flow of houseguests or visitors? Are you the home that hosts the PTA parties and scout troop meetings? Your dog's personality should be compatible with the level of activity in your home. 
• Shy or nervous dogs prefer to live in a quieter and more stable home. It would be their worst nightmare to have to attend your kids' weekly soccer games or other sports matches. 

Dog Breeds well suited to family life

• I know I said earlier that you should focus more on the individual dog than the breed, in particular, that was only partially true.
• Breeds tend to have behavioral traits that can be fairly predictable due to their long history of being bred for specific characteristics.
• But it's crucial to note that there is individual variation within every breed, just as there are personality differences between siblings in any family. Some may be more "introverted" while others want to enthusiastically greet every creature they meet.
• If you want to pick a pure bred dog, choose one who was bred to be sociable with people. 
• The "gun dog" group is a good example of dogs who were bred to work alongside people. This group includes retrievers, labradors, spaniels, setters and more. 
• Gun dogs tend to be enthusiastic team players, but they can be hard to live with because of their long youth before maturation and their high levels of energy. Many people love their friendly nature but are unprepared for their high energy levels.
• Other breeds that tend to be good with families include the cavalier King Charles spaniel, beagle, basset, havanese, boxer and Bernese mountain dog. 

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

If you have questions about your kids and dogs or would like to book an appointment, participate in a group coaching program or take an online class, visit my website: www.poochparenting.net

Welcome to Parenting Kids and Dogs 101, a limited series podcast for parents who live with kids and dogs, or plan to. I'm your host, Michelle Stern, the founder of Pooch Parenting. I'm not just a certified professional dog trainer and former teacher, I'm a mom too. In each episode of this series, I hope you'll feel like I'm chatting with you, one parent to another, about life with kids and dogs, answering common questions my clients ask me, and giving you simple solutions to make your life easier and safer.

I hope you'll subscribe and join me for the whole series, and don't forget to grab the accompanying workbook at https://poochparenting.net/podcastworkbook/

What does dog jealousy look like?

• Every dog is unique and communicates differently.
• Jealousy is how a dog likely feels.
• Dogs can demonstrate jealousy by demonstrating a variety of behaviors, such as pawing, barking, licking, hovering, getting into your space, inserting their bodies between you and another person or dog, destructive behaviors (such as chewing inappropriate items).

What to do to prevent dog jealousy around kids

• Try to identify if your dog's needs are being met.
• Provide your dog with lots of enrichment, such as opportunities to chew, sniff, dig and exercise.
• If you can, give your dog some focused attention, such as when your kids are at school or asleep.
• Ask your dog for an alternate behavior. For example, if they are jumping on you, ask them to lay on a mat instead. Or if they are pawing you, ask them to spin so that they have something less harmful to do with their feet.
• Use management equipment such as gates or pens to limit where your dog can go if you are doing something sensitive with your child, such as changing a diaper on the floor or doing arts and crafts with the kids.
• Set up predictable routines for your dog so they know what to expect and can worry less
• If your dog displays his jealousy by demonstrating "naughty" behaviors, it's especially important that you never leave the dog and child alone. 
• Even if you are in the same room with your dog and child while you are cooking, folding laundry, checking email or scrolling social media, you aren't fully paying attention. Being "there" isn't enough to keep your dog or child safe.
• If your dog is frustrated or acting out, you can't let your guard down (or even leave "for just a second" to go pee). If you aren't there, you aren't able to keep anyone safe.
• If it's impossible for you to give your dog some focused attention, get help! Can you hire a dog walker or have a neighbor take your dog on outings.

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

If you have questions about your kids and dogs or would like to book an appointment, participate in a group coaching program or take an online class, visit my website: www.poochparenting.net

Welcome to Parenting Kids and Dogs 101, a limited series podcast for parents who live with kids and dogs, or plan to. I'm your host, Michelle Stern, the founder of Pooch Parenting. I'm not just a certified professional dog trainer and former teacher, I'm a mom too. In each episode of this series, I hope you'll feel like I'm chatting with you, one parent to another, about life with kids and dogs, answering common questions my clients ask me, and giving you simple solutions to make your life easier and safer.

I hope you'll subscribe and join me for the whole series, and don't forget to grab the accompanying workbook at https://poochparenting.net/podcastworkbook/

Enrichment Builds Relationships

• Not all playtime with kids and dogs has to involve them touching each other
• Kids can be involved in the care of their dog and this builds relationships too 
• Kids can stuff food toys like Kongs and Toppl's, spreading ingredients on lickimats, making enrichment toys out of the items in the recycling bin
• Making enrichment food toys for dogs can improve kids fine and gross motor skills
• Spreading ingredients can be excellent sensory input for children because it involves the scents and textures of different ingredients

Safe Games and Playtime for Kids and Dogs

• Kids can throw balls or pieces of food from the other side of a barrier
• Toddlers and younger kids can roll balls on the floor or over the top of the coffee table while the dog chases it on the other side
• Games like Freeze Dance or Red Light Green Light are fun to play as a family with the dog and rely on rewarding the dog for sitting or laying down when family members go still
• Blowing meat-flavored bubbles for dogs

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

If you have questions about your kids and dogs or would like to book an appointment, participate in a group coaching program or take an online class, visit my website: www.poochparenting.net

Welcome to Parenting Kids and Dogs 101, a limited series podcast for parents who live with kids and dogs, or plan to. I’m your host, Michelle Stern, the founder of Pooch Parenting. I’m not just a certified professional dog trainer and former teacher, I’m a mom too. In each episode of this series, I hope you’ll feel like I’m chatting with you, one parent to another, about life with kids and dogs, answering common questions my clients ask me, and giving you simple solutions to make your life easier and safer.

I hope you’ll subscribe and join me for the whole series, and don’t forget to grab the accompanying workbook at https://poochparenting.net/podcastworkbook/

• Changes in routine can be difficult for dogs
• Dogs like predictability – it helps them know what to expect and to relax, knowing that YOU have things under control
• Practice ahead of time – especially before big life changes

Helping Dogs to Adjust to Start of School Year Routines

• Try to plan ahead as much as possible to make your routine as predictable as possible.
• The more frantic you feel, the less well you will be able to attend to your dog or children’s needs
• For school, try packing lunches and prepping breakfast ingredients in batches ahead of time and laying out clothing the night before
• Give your dog a frozen toppl or kong while you are busy; keep them behind a barrier so they don’t get in your way as you try to accomplish morning tasks
• Use a programmable coffee maker so that you can wake up to hot coffee already made

Helping Dogs to Adjust their Routines Before Baby

• Adjust your mindset and admit that your baby will likely take priority some of the time (you still love your dog and will be amazing as a dog parent, but if there is a diaper disaster, you will attend to that first before feeding the dog)
• Practice feeding and walking at slightly different times of the day
• Set up safety equipment in advance – will the dog be in a new zone some times of the day that they aren’t in now?
• Identify where you want your dog to sleep and practice any changes early so that your dog does not make any associations to the change with the arrival of baby

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

If you have questions about your kids and dogs or would like to book an appointment, participate in a group coaching program or take an online class, visit my website: www.poochparenting.net

Welcome to Parenting Kids and Dogs 101, a limited series podcast for parents who live with kids and dogs, or plan to. I'm your host, Michelle Stern, the founder of Pooch Parenting. I'm not just a certified professional dog trainer and former teacher, I'm a mom too. In each episode of this series, I hope you'll feel like I'm chatting with you, one parent to another, about life with kids and dogs, answering common questions my clients ask me, and giving you simple solutions to make your life easier and safer.

I hope you'll subscribe and join me for the whole series, and don't forget to grab the accompanying workbook at https://poochparenting.net/podcastworkbook/

Keeping Dogs Physically Stimulated

• Physical stimulation for dogs can include walks, hikes, running, swimming, playing with other dogs, playing active games with us, and more...
• It can be difficult for parents, especially with infants or young children, to leave the house to get their dogs exercise
• You can hire a dog walker to get your dogs out
• You can hire a babysitter so YOU can take your dogs out for physical exercise and bonding with your dog

Keeping Dogs Mentally Stimulated

• Mental stimulation is just as important as physical exercise
• Mental stimulation can include: food puzzles, games, training sessions, nose or scent work, playing hide and seek, learning tricks, doing therapy work, finding food scattered in the house or yard
• It's often easier for overwhelmed parents to offer their dogs mental stimulation than it is to provide physical exercise - it can be easier to do at home and if you are recovering from childbirth
• Taking slow walks with your dog in new places or even in your neighborhood, and letting them sniff as much as they want

Aim for "Good Enough" Parenting

• perfect parenting is a myth
• do the best you can and say goodbye to mom guilt because you are making an effort

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

If you have questions about your kids and dogs or would like to book an appointment, participate in a group coaching program or take an online class, visit my website: www.poochparenting.net

Welcome to Parenting Kids and Dogs 101, a limited series podcast for parents who live with kids and dogs, or plan to. I'm your host, Michelle Stern, the founder of Pooch Parenting. I'm not just a certified professional dog trainer and former teacher, I'm a mom too. In each episode of this series, I hope you'll feel like I'm chatting with you, one parent to another, about life with kids and dogs, answering common questions my clients ask me, and giving you simple solutions to make your life easier and safer.

I hope you'll subscribe and join me for the whole series, and don't forget to grab the accompanying workbook at https://poochparenting.net/podcastworkbook/

What is Resource Guarding?

• Resource guarding happens when a dog is worried that we are going to take away something they care about. 
• Resource guarding can happen over a food, toy, treat, chew, spaces (like a dog bed, your bed or the sofa) or with people
• Imagine eating at a restaurant and having your server try to take your unfinished meal over and over again. You'd get upset, right? This is likely how your dog feels - and they can begin to dread the approach of the person who often tries to take their belongings.
• Imagine instead your server keeps bringing you goodies or unexpected treats. Now, you will look forward to their approach. 
• You want your dog to feel this way about you and your kids, if possible - you are the bearer of good things instead of the taker of good things.

Is Resource Guarding in Dogs Normal?

• Yes, resource guarding in dogs IS normal. 
• It's scary and can be dangerous, especially if the dog leaves their treasure to chase away or bite a child to prevent them from getting closer.

Is Resource Guarding a Deal Breaker in Families with Kids?

• Resource guarding is often treatable and is quite manageable with reliable management
• Unfortunately, kids often forget to shut gates, doors or pens, so we can't rely on our kids to use management 100% effectively
• If your dog guards ONE item, such as food, it's easier to treat.
• If your dog guards spaces or items that become unpredictable, it's more difficult and you should reach out to a positive reinforcement dog professional.
• If your dog leaves their item to chase or bite people, the stakes are much higher in families with kids. I'd recommend a consultation with me or another professional you trust to make a deeper assessment of the circumstances.

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

If you have questions about your kids and dogs or would like to book an appointment, participate in a group coaching program or take an online class, visit my website: www.poochparenting.net

Welcome to Parenting Kids and Dogs 101, a limited series podcast for parents who live with kids and dogs, or plan to. I'm your host, Michelle Stern, the founder of Pooch Parenting. I'm not just a certified professional dog trainer and former teacher, I'm a mom too. In each episode of this series, I hope you'll feel like I'm chatting with you, one parent to another, about life with kids and dogs, answering common questions my clients ask me, and giving you simple solutions to make your life easier and safer.

I hope you'll subscribe and join me for the whole series, and don't forget to grab the accompanying workbook at https://poochparenting.net/podcastworkbook/

Ignore Social Media Trends

• I blame social media for putting too much pressure on these first types of interactions with new baby - that they should be "photo or social media worthy"
• instead, consider this just one moment - they have a lifetime to build relationships
• prioritize safety. Put down the camera and be fully present
• be sure the dog is behind a barrier and or leashed when the baby is carried into the house
• if the dog is calm at a distance, you can bring them closer on a leash
• Reward calm behavior and move away if dog is too excited

You won't know how your dog will respond to your new baby

• If you have had a traumatic birth, you need to be careful how your dog greets you when you come home.
• Please limit dog kisses to the baby - why risk it?
• Not all licks are kisses - sometimes licking is a sign your dog is stressed
• Some dogs are predatory and respond differently than you hoped for
• Get on the waitlist for my Paws to Pacifiers program that I offer 3 times a year for a very detailed coaching plan for how to introduce your dog to new baby

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

If you have questions about your kids and dogs or would like to book an appointment, participate in a group coaching program or take an online class, visit my website: www.poochparenting.net

Welcome to Parenting Kids and Dogs 101, a limited series podcast for parents who live with kids and dogs, or plan to. I'm your host, Michelle Stern, the founder of Pooch Parenting. I'm not just a certified professional dog trainer and former teacher, I'm a mom too. In each episode of this series, I hope you'll feel like I'm chatting with you, one parent to another, about life with kids and dogs, answering common questions my clients ask me, and giving you simple solutions to make your life easier and safer.

I hope you'll subscribe and join me for the whole series, and don't forget to grab the accompanying workbook at https://poochparenting.net/podcastworkbook/

Why Your Child Might Accidentally Hurt or Provoke your Dog

• It's important for parents to understand normal behaviors in kids that accompany different developmental stages. 
• Kids are curious and want to explore "what happens if"
• We need to react calmly and move our child away.
• Next, we need to explain why we do or don't do certain things, and then use management to prevent dangerous or unkind interactions in the future
• Natural consequences could include having less access to the dog
• It's also important to identify if your child is afraid of your dog or uncomfortable around them and is asking for more safe space (by kicking at or swatting at the dog) 

How can I teach my children to respect and interact safely with our dog?

• Model the behavior you want your kids to demonstrate
• Most dogs don't like to be hugged - so don't hug your dog in front of your children. Even if YOUR dog likes to be hugged, your children will treat all dogs the way they treat yours.
• Eye contact is threatening to most dogs, so don't kiss your dog on the nose in front of your kids - this is how a lot of bites to kids happen. Again - even if your dog is okay with this, it puts your child's vulnerable face too close to the teeth of other dogs.
• Set some ground rules such as never bothering a dog when they are eating, chewing a bone or sleeping
• Use safe zones for both your kids and dogs, where they know that they will not be approached
• Invite dogs to you for petting instead of approaching them
• Notice dog body language and talk about it often - point out if your dog is showing signs of stress so your kids can learn to recognize them

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

If you have questions about your kids and dogs or would like to book an appointment, participate in a group coaching program or take an online class, visit my website: www.poochparenting.net

Welcome to Parenting Kids and Dogs 101, a limited series podcast for parents who live with kids and dogs, or plan to. I'm your host, Michelle Stern, the founder of Pooch Parenting. I'm not just a certified professional dog trainer and former teacher, I'm a mom too. In each episode of this series, I hope you'll feel like I'm chatting with you, one parent to another, about life with kids and dogs, answering common questions my clients ask me, and giving you simple solutions to make your life easier and safer.

I hope you'll subscribe and join me for the whole series, and don't forget to grab the accompanying workbook at https://poochparenting.net/podcastworkbook/

I believe in Gentle Parenting - will this parenting strategy work for both kids and dogs?

• 100% yes. Gentle Parenting relies on understanding and respect. It avoids punishment and instead uses strategies that involve setting healthy boundaries and building strong trusting relationships to set up individuals to be successful.
• scientific studies have established that in both children and dogs, we see behaviors that are rewarded more often - it feels like coaching
• this type of parenting can include natural consequences, such as losing access to the dog if the child is too rough. or if the puppy is biting too much, they may need to hang out in a safer space to calm down where they can't bite anymore.
• we learn to avoid triggers by setting up our kids and dogs for success. If they appear hesitant to do something, we dig in and try to identify why. Are they afraid? too tired? too overwhelmed or confused?
• By being curious, it can help us to change the environment to make them more successful
• Gentle parenting should not be confused with being "too soft." We definitely still use limits and set boundaries such as "I can't let you bother the puppy when he is asleep." or "I can't let you kick the dog when you are frustrated." In these circumstances, we would remove the child from the situation to prevent them from doing something harmful.

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

If you have questions about your kids and dogs or would like to book an appointment, participate in a group coaching program or take an online class, visit my website: www.poochparenting.net